William Shakespeare's Avengers

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William Shakespeare's Avengers Page 26

by Ian Doescher


  Now is reality whate’er I wish.

  GAMORA

  Thou knewest I would come.

  THANOS

  —True, ’twas my plan.

  Aught have we to discuss, my little one.

  [Gamora tries to pick up her sword, but Thanos grabs her.

  DRAX

  O Thanos!

  [Drax begins to charge, and Thanos uses the Reality Stone to turn Drax into a pile of blocks. Thanos fires at Mantis and unravels her like thread. Quill approaches, pointing his gun at Thanos.

  QUILL

  —Grimace, set the woman free.

  GAMORA

  Go to, Quill.

  QUILL

  —Go ye right, those were my words. 135

  GAMORA

  Dear man, wouldst thou so argue in this moment?

  QUILL

  [to Thanos:] Discharge thy prisoner at once, thou fiend!

  THANOS

  Thou art the paramour, ’less eyes deceive.

  QUILL

  Choose I to think upon myself more as

  A titan-killing, long-term, on-call codpiece. 140

  Free her at once. I will not ask again.

  GAMORA

  Ah, Peter, thou wilt be undone.

  QUILL

  —Anon

  From off thy face I’ll blow thy nutsack chin.

  GAMORA

  Not him, if thou rememberest thy vow.

  [Quill turns and points his gun at Gamora, but holds his fire.

  THANOS

  Nay, daughter, you expect too much from him. 145

  [To Quill:] She ask’d you, did she not? Why hesitate?

  If you do love her, as you say you do,

  Then pull the trigger and be done with it.

  QUILL

  Go right, I told ye. Wherefore listen not?

  GAMORA

  Affectionate and maddening art thou— 150

  I love thee, Peter, more than anything.

  QUILL

  And I love thee.

  [Quill fires, and bubbles emerge from his gun.

  THANOS

  —A snare, a ruse, a ploy:

  And you the fools. I like him, though, Gamora.

  [Exeunt Thanos in a flash, holding Gamora. As reality returns, Drax and Mantis rise again.

  QUILL

  Can anyone o’ercome this cruel man

  And stand whilst he doth bend reality? 155

  Before this moment, never have I seen

  An enemy who seem’d unbeatable.

  All of my schemes, deceits, and tricks, which I

  E’er did rely upon, are useless turn’d—

  And what is worst of all? Gamora gone, 160

  By her own father taken who knows where.

  Alack, that ever I should see this day—

  Gamora, darling, spirited away!

  [Exeunt.

  SCENE 3

  In New York, at the Avengers’ base.

  ENTER JAMES RHODES. ENTER SECRETARY THADDEUS ROSS, ON BALCONY, SPEAKING TO HIM VIA BEAM.

  ROSS

  Is there no new report of Vision, Rhodes?

  RHODES

  The satellites lost him o’er Edinburgh.

  ROSS

  Upon a stolen Quinjet, piloted

  By four of our most wanted criminals.

  RHODES

  They are but criminals because thou chos’st 5

  To call them so. Is that not true?

  ROSS

  —My God,

  Thy talent for the spinning of a phrase

  Until it is as rank as horse manure

  Doth rival e’en mine own.

  RHODES

  —If not for our

  Accords, would Vision not have been here, safe? 10

  ROSS

  As I recall, thy signature was on

  Those papers, Colonel.

  RHODES

  —Yea, I do confess,

  And for that choice I dearly paid the price

  When in th’Avengers civil war I did

  Receive such injuries that I spent months 15

  In learning, like a toddler, how to walk.

  ROSS

  Thou, then, hast second thoughts?

  RHODES

  —Not anymore.

  ENTER STEVE ROGERS, NATASHA ROMANOFF, VISION, WANDA MAXIMOFF, AND SAM WILSON, BELOW.

  ROGERS

  Good morn unto thee, Secretary Ross.

  ROSS

  Your nerve is passing ev’ry line of prudence,

  Thus shall I grant you, Captain.

  ROMANOFF

  —In this bleak, 20

  Uncertain time, such nerve shall asset prove.

  ROSS

  The world is set afire, and do you think

  All is forgiv’n?

  ROGERS

  —Forgiveness I’d have naught—

  I’ve journey’d past beseeching thy permission.

  Earth lost her strongest safeguard when Stark flew, 25

  Thus have we come to fight, and if thou wilt

  Stand in our way, we’ll bring the fight to thee.

  ROSS

  [to Rhodes:] Arrest them.

  RHODES

  —Surely, I shall do thy will.

  [Rhodes ends the transmission. Exit Secretary Thaddeus Ross.

  [To Rogers:] Thus I have sign’d mine own court-martial

  order.

  ’Tis well to see you, Captain, by my troth. 30

  [Rhodes embraces Rogers and Romanoff.

  ROGERS

  Thou too, strong Rhodey, loyal friend and true.

  RHODES

  In faith, ne’er saw I such a scrappy crew.

  The two years past must have been rough, indeed.

  WILSON

  A five-star rating had not our hotels.

  ENTER BRUCE BANNER.

  BANNER

  Methinks you are a sight for weary eyes, 35

  The whole enormous lot of ye, dear friends.

  [Rogers, Romanoff, Vision, Wanda, and Wilson turn to look at him.

  I am return’d, my problems come as well.

  ROMANOFF

  Holla, Bruce, thou who in the shadows dwelt’st.

  BRUCE

  Nat, ’tis most grand to step into the light.

  [There is a long pause.

  WILSON

  This scene is awkward, comrades, is it not? 40

  RHODES

  Let us unto the matter now at hand:

  We must assume that Thanos and his pawns

  Shall come once more unto the earth, ’tis true?

  WANDA

  ’Tis, yea, and clearly they’ve the pow’r to find

  Us, any place or time we may have fled. 45

  BANNER

  All hands on deck are greatly needed. Where,

  Therefore, is Clint?

  ROMANOFF

  —The situation with

  Th’Accords—both he and Scott a deal accepted.

  ’Twas far too testing for their families,

  So they are shrouded under house arrest. 50

  BANNER

  Who is this Scott, some great and noble ally?

  ROGERS

  He is the Ant-Man, Bruce.

  BANNER

  —Now we have Ant-Man

  And Spider-Man as well? Shall we employ

  The field of entomology entire?

  Take heed: this Thanos hath the largest force 55

  Within the universe, and shall not stop

  Until he takes the Stone from Vision’s pate.

  RO
MANOFF

  We must protect it from the dreary foe.

  VISION

  Nay, we must terminate it utterly,

  And in the sentence my own life destroy. 60

  Much thought I’ve giv’n to this Stone in my head,

  About its nature and its composition.

  If ’twere expos’d unto a pow’rful source

  Of energy, equivalent unto

  Its own commanding signature, perchance 65

  Its own molecular integrity

  Would fail.

  WANDA

  —Thou wouldst be dead along with it;

  This conversation I shall not indulge.

  VISION

  Eliminating it’s the only way

  T’ensure that Thanos ne’er shall gain its pow’r. 70

  ’Tis logical enow. Friends, heed my words:

  Let us be sacrificers, but not butchers.

  WANDA

  ’Tis far too high a price, which I’ll not pay.

  VISION

  Yet only thou hast power thus to do.

  This Thanos threatens half the universe— 75

  Our little life is rounded with a sleep;

  I’d gladly sleep if it means stopping him.

  One little life should not stop his defeat.

  ROGERS

  Nay, nay, it should. We’ll not trade life for life.

  VISION

  ’Twas sevn’ty years ago thou laid’st thy life 80

  To save how many millions afterward?

  Upon such sacrifices, Captain Rogers,

  The gods themselves throw incense, do they not?

  Pray, tell me: wherefore is this different?

  BANNER

  ’Tis diff’rent for thou mayst yet have a choice. 85

  Thy mind is form’d of vast, complex constructs

  Of overlays—the Stone with Jarvis, Ultron,

  Brave Tony, and myself—all mix’d as one,

  Each learning from the other, tit for tat.

  WANDA

  Thou meanest Vision isn’t just the Stone, 90

  From something more complex my love is bred?

  BANNER

  Should we take out the Stone, there shall remain

  A sizeable amount of Vision left—

  Perchance the better portions of his nature.

  ROMANOFF

  Is’t possible this murky thing to do? 95

  BANNER

  Not I, not here. I’ve not the massive skills.

  RHODES

  You must the someone and the somewhere find.

  Ross will not give ye back your former rooms,

  As if he were a dormitory dean.

  How shall we Vision help, and therefore Wanda? 100

  ROGERS

  I know the somewhere. Let us to Wakanda!

  [Exeunt.

  SCENE 1

  Wakanda.

  ENTER T’CHALLA.

  T’CHALLA

  When we were by the wide world undisturb’d,

  A nation self-sufficient and alone,

  Knew we then unrestrain’d simplicity

  And did not try to meddle past our borders.

  Now we upon the world’s stage have appear’d, 5

  Declaring both our might and independence,

  Astounding all who once assum’d us weak.

  Forgotten formerly, we have arisen—

  Our ancestors providing us with strength,

  Resolve, and wisdom for a newfound age. 10

  Embrace we now the world and all its woes,

  Voice for the voiceless, promise for the hopeless.

  E’en as we do, though, trouble comes to us,

  Redounding on Wakanda’s peaceful lands.

  ENTER OKOYE WITH TWO SOLDIERS, ONE OF THEM CARRYING A CASE. ENTER BUCKY BARNES, ASIDE.

  OKOYE

  The king’s guard and the strong Dora Milaje 15

  Have been alerted to the coming group.

  T’CHALLA

  What of the Border Tribe? Shall they join us?

  OKOYE

  Those who remain shall come.

  T’CHALLA

  —Assemble the

  King-like Jabari, too. M’Baku loves

  A pleasing fight, as well my past doth know. 20

  [Okoye indicates Barnes.

  OKOYE

  What of this one?

  T’CHALLA

  —Now is he tir’d of war.

  Deep was this white wolf’s rest, and long enow.

  [The soldier with the case opens it, revealing a metallic arm for Barnes.

  [To Barnes:] Again ’tis time, my friend, to join the fight.

  BARNES

  Where shall it be?

  T’CHALLA

  —Forsooth, we know not yet.

  One thing is sure: we soon shall be beset. 25

  [Exeunt.

  SCENE 2

  Various locations in space.

  ENTER DOCTOR STEPHEN STRANGE, FLOATING AND SURROUNDED BY BLADES POINTED AT HIM, ON THE Q-SHIP.

  STRANGE

  The sword of Damocles ne’er loom’d so large—

  O, ’tis an unforeseen awakening.

  ENTER EBONY MAW.

  MAW

  In all my time spent serving Thanos pure,

  Ne’er have I fail’d him. Nay, and never shall.

  Were I to reach our rendezvous on Titan 5

  Withal the Time Stone still attach’d unto

  Your vaguely irritating personage,

  There would be judgment most severe, I fear.

  [Maw uses magic to begin forcing the blades into Strange’s skin.

  Give me the Stone.

  ENTER TONY STARK ASIDE, HIDDEN, ENCOUNTERING STRANGE’S CLOAK.

  STARK

  —Incredible apparel,

  Thou gav’st me quite a shock. Thou art, mayhap, 10

  Th’most loyal piece of outerwear I’ve seen.

  ENTER PETER PARKER, JOINING STARK.

  PARKER

  Should we talk loyalty, my voice would fail.

  STARK

  In heaven’s name!

  PARKER

  —I know what thou shalt say:

  “This is the foulest trick that e’er was plied!”

  STARK

  I tell thee, Peter, thou shouldst not be here. 15

  PARKER

  I shall not leave thee, will not let thee die.

  STARK

  I’d not hear thine excuses, nay.

  PARKER

  —’Twas so

  Far down to drop, and whilst I did I thought

  Of thee and all that thou hast done. It seems

  That plummeting was suited for reflection. 20

  STARK

  I now must hear thy words.

  PARKER

  —Unto the ship

  I stuck—this suit is most intuitive—

  So, in some ways, it is thy fault I’m here.

  Pray, do not judge me harshly, Master Stark.

  STARK

  Imprudent boy, what didst thou say to me? 25

  PARKER

  Those words I take back soon as they are utter’d.

  Now am I here, in space. Take a deep breath.

  STARK

  Indeed, where I had hop’d thou wouldst not be.

  ’Tis neither Coney Island, nor is it

  A field trip with thy schoolmates. This is but 30

  A one-way ticket bound for parts beyond.

  Dost understand? Pretend thou not that ’twas

  A carefully consider’d thought of thine— />
  It could, in no wise, possibly be so.

  PARKER

  How can one be a friendly neighborhood 35

  Brave Spider-Man if there’s no neighborhood?

  That made but poor sense, verily—yet thou

  Know’st well what I do mean, of that I’m sure.

  STARK

  I bid thee come. We have a situation.

  See Strange below—he is in trouble deep. 40

  What is thy plan to save him? Speak, I pray.

  PARKER

  Didst ever see the movie Aliens?

  ’Tis very old—a classic, verily.

  [Strange begins to scream.

  MAW

  [to Strange:] Most painful, are they not? Originally

  Were they design’d for microsurgery. 45

  And any one of them might—

  [Maw turns around as Stark approaches.

  —end your friend’s

  Life nearly instantly.

  STARK

  —I must confess,

  He is no friend of mine. To save his life

  Is courtesy professional, no more.

  MAW

  You nothing save—your simple powers are 50

  Inconsequential when compar’d to mine.

  STARK

  It may be so, and yet the kid hath seen

  More movies than thou hast, to our advantage.

  [Stark fires, tearing a hole in the hull of the ship. The resulting vacuum pulls Maw into space. Exit Ebony Maw. Strange is pulled too, but his cloak holds him tightly. Parker uses his web to grab Strange, and Stark uses rays from his suit to close the hole in the ship.

  PARKER

  [to cloak:] We’ve not yet met officially, my friend.

  Thy moves were most impressive, by my troth, 55

  I know keen talent when I see it, cloth.

  [The cloak flies off toward Strange.

  ’Tis well, we allies did not need to speak.

  STRANGE

  We must at once this vast ship turn around.

  STARK

  I see—now thou wouldst run. Astounding plan,

  Most brave and virtuous, fit for a hero. 60

  STRANGE

  Nay, now would I protect the Stone, no more.

  STARK

  It is the time for thou to thank me, yea?

  Proceed, mine ears await thy humble words.

  STRANGE

  Thank thee for what? Near blasting me to space?

  STARK

  Impossible man! Who just sav’d thine ass 65

  Most magical? ’Twas I.

  STRANGE

  —I do not know

  How thou dost fit thine oversizèd head

  Into thy helmet, it of normal girth.

  STARK

  I prithee, Strange, admit to thy mistake:

  Thou shouldst have exited when I told thee. 70

 

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