William Shakespeare's Avengers

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William Shakespeare's Avengers Page 28

by Ian Doescher


  And I, not knowing who or what I am,

  Eat one of you—apologies to you.

  STARK

  Inhibit, please, thyself from any more 305

  Allusions to another play or story

  For the remainder of our headlong trip.

  Dost understand?

  PARKER

  —’Twas but my way of saying

  That something cometh hither, gentlemen.

  ENTER PETER QUILL, DRAX, AND MANTIS.

  DRAX

  Vile Thanos, I have come to work thee woe! 310

  [Strange’s cloak flies at Drax, subduing him. Quill and Stark fire at each other.

  PARKER

  [to Mantis:] O, please put not thine eggs inside me, beast!

  [Parker casts a web around Mantis, and Quill kicks Parker aside.

  QUILL

  Down, clown.

  DRAX

  —Die, blanket born of hateful death!

  [Stark stands over Drax, threatening him, as the warrior fights Strange’s cloak. Quill grabs Parker and puts a gun to his head.

  QUILL

  Each person, halt! Stay calmly where you are—

  Chill all thy nerves, lest heated they boil o’er.

  [To Stark:] But one time I shall ask thee: where’s

  Gamora? 315

  STARK

  I’ll do for thee one better: who’s Gamora?

  DRAX

  One better I’ll do thee! Why is Gamora?

  QUILL

  Fiend, tell me where the woman is at once,

  And I shall not french fry thy little freak.

  STARK

  Indeed? Let it be done! Thou shoot’st my man 320

  And I, in turn, shall blast thy friend. Let’s to’t!

  DRAX

  Yea, do it, Quill! My strong physique can take it.

  MANTIS

  Nay, he can’t take it!

  STRANGE

  —She’s right. Thou canst not.

  QUILL

  Do you prefer to keep your secrets, rogues?

  A better opportunity than e’er, 325

  For I shall kill ye three, then beat the truth

  From Thanos vile himself! [To Parker:] Thou shalt die

  first!

  STRANGE

  Wait, Thanos? Let me ask thee this one time:

  What master dost thou serve?

  QUILL

  —A question strange,

  E’en stranger than the one who asketh it. 330

  For what should I say? Jesus?

  STARK

  —Is it so—

  Thou art from Earth?

  QUILL

  —Earth, nay, but from Missouri.

  STARK

  It is on Earth, thou coxcomb. Why are you

  Attacking us like we were enemies?

  PARKER

  You, then, are not with Thanos? Slower speak— 335

  The revelations come at rocket speed.

  QUILL

  Could I e’er be with Thanos? Never, nay!

  But I have hither come to Thanos slay,

  For he hath ta’en my lass. Who, then, are you?

  PARKER

  Th’Avengers. Do you understand the name? 340

  MANTIS

  You are the ones whom brave Thor told us of.

  STARK

  Is’t possible? Thou truly knowest Thor?

  QUILL

  A fellow tall, with looks most mediocre—

  Assistance needed he when first we met.

  STARK

  Incredible! Dost know where he hath gone? 345

  QUILL

  A pod he took unto Nidavellir.

  But tell: what happen’d on this planet drear?

  From its true axis eight degree it angles,

  And its pull gravitational is off,

  As if the laws of nature were but jokes. 350

  STARK

  It seems we one advantage have, my friends:

  The wretched man shall come anon to us.

  We’ll use the situation here to our

  Advantage—I have form’d a clever plan,

  At least the early stirrings of a plan. 355

  ’Tis simple: we shall draw him slyly in,

  Pin him unto the ground with utmost force,

  Take what we need, and get us hence away.

  We would not dance a round with that foul fellow—

  Let us the gauntlet take, and there’s an end. 360

  [Drax yawns.

  Art yawning, truly? Whilst I tell my plan?

  Didst hear the words most sensible I spake?

  DRAX

  Mine ears stopp’d listening unto thy words!

  ’Twas after thou didst say we need a plan.

  Our Star-Lord never spake with such dull tones. 365

  STARK

  Insensible! [To Quill:] Thy Mister Clean doth read

  A passage from his own confusing book.

  QUILL

  Did I not say? Not winging it is not

  A gift of theirs.

  PARKER

  —I bid thee, sirrah odd,

  What are their gifts as warriors, pray tell? 370

  MANTIS

  Kick names, take ass!

  DRAX

  —Forsooth!

  STARK

  [aside:]           —I am fenc’d round

  By idiots! [To all:] Pray, gather and take heed.

  [Drax and Mantis do not move.

  Good Master Lord, will thy crew circle up?

  QUILL

  “Good Master Lord.” Ha! Star-Lord shall suffice.

  [He motions to Drax and Mantis, who come closer.

  STARK

  If we six fail to coalesce, and all 375

  We face vile Thanos with is attitude—

  Albeit plucky and sharp witted both—

  QUILL

  But call us never plucky, metal man,

  For we know not the meaning of the word.

  Belike we are too optimistic, yea— 380

  Behold, I like thy complicated plan,

  Except ’tis terrible. Thus, let me plan,

  And then ’tis possible we shall succeed.

  DRAX

  Tell him, I pray, about the dance-off, Peter!

  The one thou danc’dst to save the universe. 385

  STARK

  In truth, a dance-off?

  QUILL

  —Ah, ’twas nothing, sooth.

  PARKER

  A dance-off like in Footloose, Marlowe’s show?

  That taketh leg work. Art so talented?

  QUILL

  Exactly! Just like Footloose, little one.

  Doth it remain the greatest movie e’er? 390

  PARKER

  It never was. Thou holdest strange ideas.

  STARK

  I bid thee, Parker, don’t encourage him.

  Flash Gordon here hath given us no help.

  QUILL

  Flash Gordon? ’Tis a thoughtful compliment.

  Do not forget that I half-human am. 395

  E’en if there’s half of me that is a fool,

  Foolhardiness doth flourish whole in thee.

  STARK

  Incredible, thy math amazes me.

  MANTIS

  Excuse me, sir. Is thy friend often thus?

  [She points at Strange, who is in the midst of a meditation that resembles a fit.

  STARK

  Intense his visage. Strange, say, art thou well? 400

  [Strange emerges from his
trance with a shriek.

  Thou are return’d, and safely.

  PARKER

  —What did hap?

  Be calm, Strange, thou hast had a vision rank.

  STRANGE

  I travel’d forward to another time

  To witness futures alternate for us,

  To see the outcomes possible of the 405

  Great conflict that shall come upon us soon.

  QUILL

  By number, tell: how many didst thou see?

  STRANGE

  ’Twas fourteen million, plus six hundred five.

  STARK

  In which of those did our small group succeed?

  STRANGE

  One and one only.

  [Exeunt.

  ENTER GAMORA AND THANOS.

  THANOS

  —Now we are on Vormir! 410

  The mountain peak before us loometh large—

  The Stone had best be there, or this I vow:

  Thy sister sweet shall pay a handsome sum.

  THEY WALK ALONG. ENTER THE STONEKEEPER.

  STONE.

  You are most welcome, Thanos, son of A’Lars.

  Gamora, daughter of the noble Thanos. 415

  THANOS

  Thou knowest us?

  STONE.

  —It is my curse to know

  The names of all the souls who hither come.

  THANOS

  Where is the Soul Stone?

  STONE.

  —Thou, I hope, dost know

  It doth extract a price most terrible.

  THANOS

  I am prepar’d such recompense to pay. 420

  STONE.

  So answer all, at first. We all are wrong.

  THANOS

  How is it thou hast come to know this place?

  [The three walk together to the top of the mount.

  STONE.

  A lifetime hence, I sought the Stones as well,

  E’en holding one within my very hand.

  It cast me out and hither banish’d me. 425

  Now I guide others to a treasure I

  Shall ne’er possess. Look, Thanos, and despair.

  [The Stonekeeper leads them to the precipice of the cliff.

  What thou dost seek doth lie in front of thee,

  As does the very thing that thou dost fear.

  GAMORA

  What is this, then, a riddle of some kind? 430

  STONE.

  What ye do witness is the price to pay.

  The Soul Stone holds a special place among

  The powerful Infinity Stones, yea—

  Perchance you’d say it hath a certain wisdom.

  THANOS

  Tell me, thou seer, exactly what it needs. 435

  STONE.

  It would ensure that whosoever doth

  Possess it understandeth well its pow’r.

  The Stone demands a worthy sacrifice.

  THANOS

  What is its will? I shall pay any price.

  STONE.

  To take the Stone, lose thou what thou dost love. 440

  ’Twill be a trade: a soul giv’n for a soul.

  THANOS

  [aside:] My daughter, then. So must the payment be.

  When I did take her from her former home,

  Adopting her to live with me as mine,

  Ne’er did I think our paths would lead us here. 445

  Though I have rear’d her as a father would,

  Though I did raise her, teach her, play with her,

  Though I did learn to love her as myself,

  Though I did mourn the loss when she left me,

  My broader purpose is a nobler one, 450

  And nothing—nay, not e’en my love for her—

  Shall stand athwart my will, my plan, my vision.

  Farewell, then, daughter, darling of my heart.

  Farewell, Gamora—here you meet your end.

  Your death shall soon be heralded as one 455

  That pav’d the way so that the universe

  Might be restor’d from its infirmities.

  [Gamora laughs as Thanos turns away from her.

  GAMORA

  My life entire, I dream’d a day would come,

  A moment when thou got thy just desert.

  E’er was I disappointed when, in fact, 460

  Thou didst but win and win and foully win.

  Now, though, thou art not winning. Thou dost kill

  And torture, in the name of mercy true.

  Behold, the universe holds thee in judgment.

  Thou ask’dst a prize of it, and it saith no. 465

  Thou failèdst, Father. Wouldst thou know wherefore?

  ’Tis only this: because thou nothing lov’st,

  No one is there for whom thou hast affection.

  [Thanos turns toward her, tears in his eyes.

  Tears, truly?

  STONE.

  —Mayhap they’re not shed for him.

  GAMORA

  Alas, then thou shalt find me a grave lass. 470

  This is not love, what thou art feeling, brute.

  THANOS

  Attend me: once I did deny my fate,

  Yet never shall again, not e’en for you.

  [Gamora pulls a knife from Thanos’s belt and tries to kill herself, but the knife turns to bubbles in her hand.

  Apologies, my little one.

  [He grabs her by the arm and leads her to the edge.

  GAMORA

  —Nay, nay!

  [He throws her from the cliff. Gamora dies. Exit the Stonekeeper. Thanos loses consciousness, and when he awakes the Soul Stone is in his hand.

  THANOS

  Now I possess the Soul Stone, at what price? 475

  My blood turns cold, my heart transforms to ice.

  [Exit.

  SCENE 1

  Nidavellir.

  ENTER THOR, ROCKET, GROOT, AND EITRI. THEY WATCH AS A STONE IS BROUGHT DOWN BY MACHINES.

  ROCKET

  This is thy plan, that we should strike foul Thanos

  with a brick?

  EITRI

  ’Tis but a mold, a weapon for a king.

  ’Twas meant to be the greatest in all Asgard.

  In theory, it could summon the Bifrost. 5

  THOR

  Hath it a name?

  EITRI

  —Stormbreaker it was call’d.

  ROCKET

  A name too melodramatic by half, I’ll warrant.

  THOR

  How shall we four devise the pow’rful thing?

  EITRI

  You must restart the forge to undertake’t,

  Awakening the heart of dying stars. 10

  THOR

  Devoted rabbit, kindle thou the pod.

  [Rocket and Groot climb into the pod. Thor grabs a rope, which is connected to the pod, and makes his way out to the rings. He communicates with Rocket via radio.

  ROCKET

  [into radio:] Dost understand the mechanics and the

  scientifics of our situation, Thor? These rings gigantic

  are. If thou wouldst get them moving once again, thou

  shalt need something larger to yank them loose than 15

  that thin cord.

  THOR

  Leave that to me; a plan forms in my mind.

  ROCKET

  Leave it to thee? Thou art in space with but a rope and—

  [Thor suddenly begins twirling the pod in a circle by swinging the rope. He lets go of the rope, then grasps the rope again once the pod’s momentum carries it toward the rings.

&nb
sp; THOR

  [into radio:] Fire thou the engines and we shall succeed!

  [Thor plants his feet on a ring and holds on to the rope as Rocket thrusts the pod forward.

  More power, rabbit! Burn the thrusters up! 20

  [The rings break free of the ice around them and begin spinning. The star at the center of the rings alights with flame.

  EITRI

  [aside:] Well done, young Thor! A mighty warrior,

  Whom I did ever underestimate.

  THOR

  [to Rocket:] Behold the star? That is Nidavellir!

  [The star shoots a beam into the forge, but a control on the forge’s doors is hit and shut, breaking the beam.

  EITRI

  [into radio:] Fie, fie upon it! Nay! It must not be.

  ROCKET

  [into radio:] Why fie? What meaneth fie? 25

  EITRI

  [into radio:] The mechanism hath been damagèd.

  THOR

  [into radio:] What dost thou say? How hath this come to

  pass?

  EITRI

  [into radio:] With th’iris clos’d, the metal will not heat.

  THOR

  [into radio:] How long dost thou require to give it heat?

  EITRI

  [into radio:] Some minutes few, perhaps a little more. 30

  Why ask you?

  THOR

  [into radio:] —I shall hold the iris ope.

  EITRI

  [into radio:] ’Tis suicide.

  THOR

  [into radio:]    —To challenge Thanos sans

  The axe is equally foolhardy, true?

  [Thor leaps from the rings toward the iris.

  [Aside:] All-Fathers, give me strength for what I do.

  EITRI

  [into radio:] You understand the consequences, boy? 35

  The full force of a star you soon shall bear.

  I’ll wager it shall kill you instantly.

  THOR

  [into radio:] Nay, only if I die shall it do thus.

  EITRI

  [into radio:] Yea, ’tis the meaning of the words “kill you.”

  [Thor grabs the controls of the iris and forces it open. The star’s beam shoots through him into the forge.

  THOR

  O light divine, which pulseth through my chest! 40

  O radiance, which maketh my heart ache!

  O interstellar force of brilliant might!

  O heav’nly star, strength astronomical!

  EITRI

  Hold, Thor! The beam begins to do its work.

  [The beam begins to heat the metal in the forge. Eitri turns the crank and pours metal into the forge. Thor loses consciousness and shuts the iris. He is knocked toward the forge, and Rocket pursues him in the pod. Thor falls on the ground in the forge.

  ROCKET

  Thor? Art alive? Pray, speak thou unto me some word 45

  to give me hope, e’en if it be abuse thou hurlest at me, thy

 

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