by Jochen Til
Beside me, Pete gave an audible sigh of relief.
»What?« George was dismayed. »But why?«
»Because he’s a werewolf,« I answered for Archie, who was clearly uncomfortable with the situation.
»So what?« Paul answered. »We don’t care a bit. And the public won’t either. He’s a fantastic drummer, that’s all that matters.«
»Of course,« I said. »But I’m afraid he’s only such a fantastic drummer at the full moon. Isn’t that right, Archie?«
Archie nodded slowly, then let his head hang right down as he stumbled toward the door.
»Thank you very much for letting me play with you,« he whispered sadly. »That was the best evening of my life. I’ll never forget it. I’ll go and sweep up now.«
»Bye, Archie,« Pete grinned, while the other Beatles stared after Archie, all looking sad. I felt desperately sorry for him as I watched him slouch away. He had found the greatest happiness but couldn’t keep hold of it – it must have been awful for him. And just because he was a werewolf and dependent on the phase of the moon. It was so unfair. We heard a heartrending howl from outside and George wiped a tear from his eye.
I felt an urgent need to comfort Archie in some way, so I went to find him. He had already started sweeping the floor. I walked over to him and spread out my arms to offer him a hug.
»Oh yeah, go on, bite me,« he sobbed. »What do I care now? If I can’t be a drummer, then what’s the point of life anyway?«
I lowered my arms in confusion. »Bite you? Why should I bite you?«
»Huh, you’re a vampire, aren’t you? I smelled it the first time I saw you. And vampires hate werewolves. I’ve spent all this time waiting for you to attack me. I’m very grateful that you had the kindness to wait till after the concert – at least I got to live out my dream. But now I don’t care, so feel free to bite me. I won’t fight back.«
»I could never bite you,« I said. »Why should I? Just because other people say we ought to be deadly enemies? I won’t bite anybody just for the sake of some silly tradition. Least of all you. You seem like a really nice, kind person. And I wouldn’t dream of killing the world’s greatest drummer. Which is you, by the way.«
»But only once a month,« sighed Archie, starting to sob again. »Why can’t I always be a wolf?«
I hugged him tight and patted his back soothingly. Yes, it was indeed a tragedy that he couldn’t always be the way he wanted to be. I wanted to help him in some way. And then, suddenly, I had an idea.
»Would you really like to be in your wolf form forever?« I asked, just to make absolutely certain.
»Yes,« said Archie. »Not only because of the drumming. I just feel better in myself when I’m a wolf. As if it were my destiny, not just once a month, but forever.«
»I don’t know if it’ll work,« I said. »But there’s something we can try.«
»Anything,« Archie exclaimed. »I’d do anything to be able to stay as a wolf. What do I have to do? Just tell me and I’ll do it at once.«
»It’s to do with my blood,« I explained. »Vampire blood has strange properties. Five hundred years ago, my blood turned an ordinary fish into a thinking and speaking being. But I have no idea what effect it would have on you. You might grow horns. Or shrink. Or turn into a fish. I can’t guarantee anything – it’s extremely risky.«
»I’ll do it!« Archie said at once. »Even if there’s only the slightest chance that I’ll get to stay a wolf forever, I just have to try it. How does it work? Should I bite you? Right now?«
»No, better not,« I said. »It would just make a terrible mess, and you’d have to clean it all up afterward. And besides, we don’t even know what would happen. We’d better go to my place, and let’s take one of these little shot glasses with us.«
We left the Star-Club and walked to the little boarding-house where I’d rented a room in the cellar. As we went, I noticed that Archie kept wincing like he had a cramp, and that he was looking worried.
»What’s wrong?« I asked him. »Are you feeling sick?«
He growled quietly. »The full moon is waning. I can feel it so clearly. I’ll change back before long.«
»That’s not good,« I replied. »You ought to drink my blood while you’re a wolf, or it might have the opposite effect and make you stay human forever. We have to hurry.«
We picked up the pace. Once we’d gotten back to my place, I carefully bit myself on the little finger and let my blood drip into the glass. Archie’s cramps were getting worse, and more frequent. I handed him the glass.
»Here, drink it quickly,« I said. »And then, fingers crossed.«
Archie knocked back my blood. We both held our breath and waited for something to happen. But nothing did.
»Maybe that’s a good sign?« I suggested. »If everything stays the way it is now, we’ve done what we were trying to do.«
Less than a second later, Archie suddenly started twitching wildly. It got worse and worse; he huddled up on the floor, groaned, and gurgled, until he ended up … a human again.
»It hasn’t worked,« Archie sighed.
»No, I’m afraid not,« I said. »I’m sorry. The powers of vampire blood seem to be incalculable. And in your case, I’m afraid they’ve had no effect.«
»Yes,« Archie sighed. »It looks like I’ll only ever be what I want to be once a month. But thank you for trying.«
A tear ran down his cheek and I gave him a consoling hug.
»I’m tired,« he said quietly. »Can I sleep here for a while?«
»Of course,« I said. »You can stay here as long as you like. I’m about to settle down for the day myself, the sun will be up any moment.«
»That’s a sad story, Grandpa,« Beenie says.
»I don’t think so,« Rhesus says. »Bad enough having to watch out for werewolves at the full moon. Imagine if they could attack you any day of the month?«
»Like a werewolf’s ever attacked you,« snaps Vira. »And you just heard that there are really nice werewolves too. Didn’t you learn anything?«
»We’re on vacation,« Rhesus says sulkily. »I’m not here to learn stuff.«
»I am!« Beenie jumps up. »Mom said that I’m learning new things every day! And I just learned that I really, really like Archie! That’s why I feel so sad for him. Should I give him some of my blood? Maybe that would be better for werewolves.«
»That’s kind of you, Beenie, love, but there’s no need,« I say with a twinkle. »The story isn’t finished yet.«
»Oh, it’s not?« Beenie says happily. »That’s good. Carry on, Grandpa. But not so sad anymore. I don’t like sad stories.«
»I’ll do my best,« I laugh.
The next evening, I was woken by exceptionally strange sounds right beside me, which, at first, I could not place. Then I remembered: I was not alone.
I looked down at the floor next to me, where Archie was lying. His body was twitching wildly again, and the noise was coming from him as he grunted and gurgled and groaned in his sleep. I shook his shoulder to wake him, but he didn’t respond. He seemed to be in pain and I hurried to the bathroom to fetch a glass of water. Perhaps he’d wake up if I splashed some on his face? But when I returned, I saw that there was no need to do so – suddenly there was a wolf lying on the floor. Archie had transformed again and was just opening his eyes, blinking.
»Archie!« I cried in astonishment. »It worked after all!«
»Huh? … What? …« he stammered sleepily, sitting up with an effort.
When he studied his hairy hands and realized what had happened, I was treated to a glimpse of the broadest werewolf grin of all time.
»It worked!« he said. »It actually worked!«
He leapt up, flung his arms around me, and we found ourselves dancing for joy. We hopped all around the room.
»Thanks, Vlad. You’ve given me the greatest gift of my life. I’ll never forget it.«
»It’s my pleasure, Archie,« I said. »Although I’m not yet sure if it’s really worked the way
you wanted.«
»What do you mean?« Archie asked. »There’s no full moon today and yet I’m a wolf. That’s exactly what I wanted.«
»Yes, but still, you did change back into your human form first,« I explain. »And I think I can guess why. When you changed just now, the sun had just gone down. It could be that the vampire blood means you only turn into a wolf at night and that you’re a human by day.«
Archie waved dismissively. »Oh, I could live with that. I prefer to be up and about at night anyway. And most concerts are in the evenings.«
»Oh, speaking of which,« I exclaimed, »let’s hurry down to the club and tell The Beatles! You can play with them again this evening!«
We set off immediately. When we arrived, the first band of the night was already on. The boys were backstage. We gave them the good news and they were all delighted – apart from Pete.
»But my hand hardly hurts now!« he said. »I can play again this evening!«
»Sorry, Pete,« said John. »It’s just that Archie is much better than you. We’ll play with him this evening. After that, we can discuss how it’ll be in the future.«
Pete stormed out without another word.
»Oh,« said Archie. »I don’t want to steal Pete’s place in the band. If he can play again, I’m happy to step back. It’s really not a problem.«
»Don’t worry about him,« said Paul. »He’ll soon calm down. I’d rather you told us where you got that suit. It’s the perfect costume. And maybe we should do something about our hair, so we all have the same style, you know.«
Two hours later, the time had come for Archie’s second performance with The Beatles. I’d taken my place in the crowd and was really looking forward to it. This time, the four boys took to the stage together. They were greeted with cheers and applause. John, Paul, and George plugged their guitars in to the amp, Archie took his stool behind the drums. He raised his sticks and was about to count them in when suddenly two men in uniform appeared on the stage. It was the police.
The crowd instantly fell silent – it was so quiet that you could hear every word from the stage.
»Are you Archibald Ferguson?« one of the policemen asked. Archie nodded.
»Can I see your work permit?« the policeman demanded.
»Work permit?« Archie was puzzled. »Why do I need a work permit? I’m only here to play the drums.«
»And as a foreigner here, you need a work permit,« the policeman said.
»Er … no, I haven’t got one,« Archie answered.
»Then you must get off the stage now,« said the policeman.
The audience began to boo and shout to Archie that he should stay where he was. Archie looked around at The Beatles, not knowing what to do, and they shrugged, equally confused.
»If you don’t do as I tell you, I can arrest you,« the policeman threatened.
Archie stood up and left the stage.
»What about our concert?« John asked the officer.
He shrugged his shoulders. »Not my problem. Unless a drummer with a valid work permit turns up, there won’t be a concert.«
The crowd booed and jeered again.
»Me!« a voice from the edge of the stage called suddenly. »I’ve got a work permit!«
Pete stepped onto the stage, waving a piece of paper. He held it out to the policeman, who studied it for a moment.
»Seems to be in order,« he said. »You can play.«
Pete was grinning from ear to ear as he sat down behind the drums and raised his sticks up high.
»One, two, three, four!« he shouted.
The other Beatles glanced briefly and hesitantly at each other, but then they started to play.
Archie came around the back to me. He was smiling, even though he had no reason to after that incident.
»You’re amazingly cheerful for someone who’s just been conned,« I remarked. »I guess you know who called the police on you?«
»Of course,« said Archie. »It was Pete.«
»Shall I bite him after the concert, or would you prefer to eat him?« I asked. »Or both?«
Archie laughed. »No. There’s really no need.«
»Don’t you mind?« I asked. »I do. I’m seriously mad.«
»Well, I can sort of understand,« said Archie. »I took his place in the band. I wouldn’t like that either.«
»That’s true,« I admitted. »But the way he stabbed you in the back is really disgraceful.«
»Oh well, you know,« Archie chuckled. »I’m a firm believer that everything will balance itself out. Sooner or later, everyone gets what they deserve. And in Pete’s case, it won’t be good.«
And that very same year, it turned out that Archie had been right. No more than three months later, Pete was kicked out of The Beatles and missed out on an international career. I met Paul a few years later in London, and he told me that Pete’s behavior in Hamburg had been one of the main reasons for that. I walked around with a satisfied smile on my face for days.
I don’t know whether Archie had guessed it that same evening, but I could only admire his composure. Anyone else, whether they were a werewolf, a vampire, or a human, would surely have bitten Pete’s head off for his unfriendly actions. But Archie was so fair-minded that he applauded wildly after every song. You just had to love him.
»But surely you’re sad that you couldn’t play with the boys this evening?« I asked him once the concert was over.
»No, not at all,« he answered. »How could I be sad? Thanks to you, I’m the happiest man in the world, today and for ages to come, I’m sure.«
»The happiest wolf in the world, you mean.« I winked at him.
He winked back.
»Okay, it would have been a lot of fun to play with the three of them,« he admitted. »And I’m sure they’ve got a great career ahead of them. But I’ve actually always wanted to write my own music, with my own band. Which reminds me: George told me you play guitar. How about we start a band together? What do you think?«
»Great,« I grinned. »I think that would be great.«
And so that’s how I came to play in a band with someone who’d played with The Beatles, and who became my very best friend.
»You used to play in a band?« Vira asks in surprise. »How cool! I never knew that.«
»Not many people do,« I say with a laugh. »We were no good. Well, I was no good. Archie was. So our band was very short-lived, only lasted about six months. But Archie carried on, of course. Sadly, none of his bands ever made the big time, but he went on to become the most sought-after session drummer in the world. And he’s written and produced songs for really big stars, which made him a fortune. He lives in a château in France, and he even has a private plane.«
»What? Seriously?« Rhesus says, deeply impressed. »Then he knows real stars?«
»You could say that,« I answer. »I bet he even knows your favorite musician vampires.«
»Awesome!« says Rhesus. »I’d never have guessed you knew such cool people, Grandpa!«
»Oh, now you’re a fan,« Vira teases. »Aren’t you forgetting something? Archie’s a werewolf. Wouldn’t you gun him down the moment you saw him?«
»It’s only a game,« Rhesus mumbles. »I didn’t know there were cool werewolves too.«
»Is the story finished now?« Beenie asks.
»Yes,« I say. »Did you like it?«
»Yes, a lot,« Beenie says. »Except for Pete. I didn’t like him. He’s silly.«
»That’s true,« I laugh. »But he got what he –«
I’m interrupted by a very loud bell. We all jump. What’s that? There’s another ringing sound joining in, then another from farther away. Another seems to be coming from the kitchen.
»Ah!« I say, as I suddenly realize what it is. »Those are the alarm clocks Grandma set for us! Is it really that early already?«
»It’s almost half past five,« says Rhesus, who’s already playing on his phone again.
»Oh, then it’s definitely coffin time,« I say firmly.
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»Can’t we stay up just a little bit longer?« Vira asks. »I’m wide awake.«
»Sorry,« I say. »I promised your mother that you’d be in your coffins on the dot of sunrise. I don’t want to get into trouble with her. Let alone with Grandma.«
»But we could sleep here!« Beenie suggests. »In our lovely book house! There’s plenty of room if we cuddle up! And no light will get in! Please, Grandpa! Let us sleep here!«
»Yes, please, please!« Vira chimes in. »It’s much nicer here than in the crypt.«
»And there’s no signal down there either,« Rhesus says. »So I’d rather sleep up here too.«
Three pairs of big eyes look pleadingly at me. I’m simply powerless against them.
»Very well,« I sigh, »then we’ll have to sleep up here. But you mustn’t tell, got that?«
All three nod.
»I’ll get my blankie!« Beenie jumps up enthusiastically from the sofa.
»Wait, I’ll come too!« cries Vira.
The two of them flit out of the room.
»Bring my stuff too, please!« Rhesus calls after them.
»And mine!« I add. »Just bring everything out of my coffin! Don’t forget the pillow!«
Five minutes later, they’re back and we make ourselves cozy in the book house. Of course, we don’t really have room – little Beenie’s lying across half my chest and I’ve got Rhesus’s feet almost in my face, but we’ll manage for one day.
»Oh, this is nice,« Beenie whispers, snuggling up close into my neck. »Good day, Grandpa. Sleep well.«
»Yes, good day, Grandpa,« says Vira. »And thanks for telling us your stories. They were great.«
»You’re welcome,« I say quietly. »Sleep well, you two. And you go to sleep too now, Rhesus. Phone off. No more werewolf-killing now.«
»Yes, but I’m not,« replies Rhesus. »I’m not gaming anymore, I’m doing something else.«
»Either way, phone off,« I say firmly. »It’s time to sleep.«
»Yes, in a minute, I’m just waiting for …«