by J. L. Wyer
I completely forgot we were going out for dinner and a movie. “Do you mind if I take a rain check? I just really want to spend the day with Liz if that’s alright with you.”
“Lunch and dinner. Should I be jealous?”
I know he’s joking, but a part of me feels guilty that I’m blowing him off. I can’t help myself. I have this craving need to be with Liz. It hit me last night just how much I missed her. Everything is more complicated because of her amnesia. We need to re-learn how to be with each other. It’s not going to be the easy, carefree existence we used to share. It’s going to take a lot of hard work and even more patience and understanding.
“I’ll call you tomorrow. Want to come run with me?”
“If I must," he teases. "Love you, J.”
“Ditto. See you tomorrow.” I hang up and open the jar of pesto just as Liz walks back into the kitchen.
I had arrived an hour early today because I couldn't wait any longer to spend the day with her. She hadn't gotten dressed yet and was in her pajamas when I got here. While I started cooking lunch, she went to take a quick shower and get dressed. She’s braided her long multi-colored hair into two pigtails that hang down past her shoulders, and she smells like flowers and soap. Her face is glowing like she’s been out in the sun.
Liz opens the fridge and holds up a pink box that smells like vanilla. “Hope you don’t mind. I had Daniel pick up dessert this morning from a bakery I found the other day.” She smiles and I’m entranced. “It might taste awful, but it looks really good.”
I stare at her like a creeper because I can’t help myself.
“Um, Julien?”
Get a grip, I chastise myself. “Sorry.”
She sniffs the air and hums. “Lunch smells delicious.”
“Something you used to like.” I stop. “I wonder if you’ll still like it. Does amnesia cause your taste buds to change?”
“You know what? That’s actually an interesting question. I guess we’re about to find out. It smells fantastic, so I’m sure I’ll love it. Can I help with anything?”
“Nope. I’m just about done. You can keep me company while I finish up.”
“Want anything to drink?”
“Water would be nice.”
She takes two chilled bottles from the fridge and opens one for me. Liz used to be beautiful, but my God, she’s absolutely stunning now, even with braided pigtails. There’s just something different about her that I can’t pin down. Perhaps it’s my imagination since I haven’t seen her in months, but still.
“You’re staring again.”
“Oh. Sorry. I was trying to figure out what’s different about you.”
“What? Like plastic surgery different? Weight loss different?”
“Neither of those. I can’t describe it.”
Liz laughs and flexes her bicep. She really is packing some serious strength behind her girlie, curvy figure. “Once the doctors gave me green light, I started working out. I like to run too. Did I do those things before?”
“We had to bribe you with coffee and scones just to get you up in the morning for school. The only time I ever saw you run was when Jay was chasing you.”
“Wow. So I am different than before. You look like you work out as well.”
“I run ten miles almost every morning to keep in shape for soccer.”
“Are you any good?”
“I’d like to think so.” I look at her. “You used to think so.”
I finish mixing the pasta and spoon some onto a plate I had put out, then I add the toasted pine nuts before making a show of presenting it to her.
“Dig in.”
She scoops up a large fork full. The moan she makes when she bites into the pasta makes my nerve endings go haywire.
“So good,” she murmurs between bites. “You’re a talented chef on top of your claim of being a talented soccer player. Any other talents I should know about?”
“I’m good with my hands.”
Liz chokes a little on her food and takes a large swallow of water. “Good to know,” she replies, a rosy blush creeping up her neck and cheeks. This is getting interesting. Liz and I never flirted with each other like we’re doing now.
We finish eating, and since it’s sunny outside, I suggest we go out on the back patio. I bring the dessert box and two forks.
Liz slides a switch up on the wall. “Let me turn on the overhead fans outside. It’ll help cool things off so it’s not so hot out on the patio.”
When we walk outside, I notice a couple of cushioned chairs and a patio sofa. I offer her the chair that is directly under a fan and slide another closer to hers for myself.
“Your house is really nice.”
“It's very small compared to Daniel's place in Durham. He said he liked this one a lot because it looked like the archetypal white-picket fence home. He thought something smaller would make me feel more comfortable.”
“Things going well with him?” I open the cake box and find a small Bundt cake inside. I take one of the forks and drag it down the side of the dessert and taste it. “Hey. This is pretty good. Here.”
I get another fork full of cake and hold it out for her. She quirks her brow at me and opens her mouth, then grabs my wrist and directs my hand toward her pink-tinted lips.
“Mmm. You’re right. It’s really, really good. Where’s my fork?”
I hand it to her and we both dig in.
“To answer your question, Daniel is doing the best he can. It's hard for him. He feels guilty that he never spoke to Dad much or had much of a relationship with me or Hailey until it was too late. So now, he's overcompensating to make up for it.”
“Like buying you a muscle car?”
Liz smiles sheepishly.
“Jay and I were wondering why we didn't recognize him. Makes sense now from what you said.”
We keep taking small bites of the cake until half of it is gone. “I think that’s enough,” she groans. “I’m stuffed.”
Liz settles back in her chair and kicks her feet up on the low table. I’m happy that she feels comfortable enough around me to be able to relax. I take out my phone and go to the picture I had been looking at last night.
“This is us at prom. I had never seen you look more beautiful than you did that night.”
She sits up and takes my phone from me. “Ryder and Jayson had some photos of prom on their phones. You were my prom date?”
“We all were. Me, Jay, and Ryder.” I tap the group picture of the four of us.
“I had three prom dates?”
“It’s complicated.”
Liz huffs at me. “You guys are going to have to clue me in soon. Did I like have a harem of men catering to my every whim or something?”
“No. Nothing like that. It’s not what you’re probably thinking.”
“Well, then what was it like, because between these pictures, the comment Fallon made, and what you guys told me the other day, it sounds exactly like that.”
“I think that’s something best left to when the guys are here too.”
She huffs again. It’s adorable.
“I’ll give you this much. We all loved you and you loved us.”
Liz points her finger at me. “See, that right there makes it sound really scandalous.”
“It’ll make more sense once you hear the whole story. I promise it’s not as debauched as you think it is.”
“Look at you, coming at me with the big words,” she laughs.
“Liz, in all honesty, you, me, and the guys are the best of friends. We've basically been joined at the hip since elementary school.”
“I feel it, you know,” she says. “I feel the pull. I feel it strongest when I’m with Ryder. I also feel it with you. But you’re clearly with Elijah. And Jayson…well, he scares the crap out of me. I can’t wrap my head around the fact that he and I were together. It’s very confusing.”
“I know you don’t remember, but I’m bi. I was always attracted to you. But y
ou and Jay started dating, and Ryder and I stepped aside. Then I fell in love with Elijah. But never for a second doubt my love for you, Liz. Even though I’m in love with Elijah, I will always love you, too. Ryder notwithstanding, you’re my best friend.”
She places my phone down on the patio table and stands up to face me. Her light green eyes scan my face, roaming down my torso past my hips until they get to my bare feet, before slowly coming back up. She steps closer and my heart begins a rapid beat. Liz holds her hand out for me to take and when I do, she pulls me to stand. Liz is tall, but I’m a good six inches taller than she is. Reaching up, she skims her fingertips down both my arms until she reaches my hands. I bend my hands back to open them, and Liz twines her fingers with mine.
“Julien, I have an odd request.” She hesitates, licking her lips. “I need to kiss you now, and you need to let me.”
I swallow, my throat suddenly feeling like it’s stuffed with cotton. “Liz, I’m with Elijah.”
She scans my face again before focusing on my mouth. “I know you are. I feel safe with you, Julien. I need to see what this pull is. I need to understand it. Does that make sense? I need to start making sense of all this confusion. I feel like I’m losing my mind. I don’t know what’s real and what’s not anymore. I just need to know. Will you help me?”
Her pained voice breaks my heart. It reminds me that I didn’t protect her. I didn’t stop her from leaving that night. She got hurt because of my failure. Because I didn't try harder to convince her to get out of the car. I’ll do anything to make up for it.
I utter the only word I’m capable of. “Yes,” I hear myself say and I close my eyes.
I wait a beat and when nothing happens, I open my eyes again. She’s right in front of me, mere millimeters separating us.
“That’s better,” she says before closing the miniscule gap that brings her lips to mine.
She keeps her lips pressed together and touches them to mine. Her kiss is sweet and soft. The last girl I kissed was Liz’s ex-best friend Maria, when we were in fifth grade, way before I started dating Elijah. I haven’t kissed another girl since.
Liz pulls back and we gradually break apart. Instant guilt consumes me. Did I just cheat on my boyfriend? Does a somewhat innocent kiss between friends count as being unfaithful? Liz lays her forehead against my chest and sighs, and my heart constricts painfully. Jay would kill me if he found out I kissed her, innocent or not.
We say nothing for a while. She slowly lowers back down to stand flat on her feet and rests her head against my chest. Clearing her throat, she says, “That was nice.”
“Yes, it was.” More guilt.
“You know,” she voices aloud, “you’re my first kiss. The first I remember anyway.”
I laugh, allowing the tension to drain from my body. “I hope it didn’t suck too bad.”
She tips her head up at me and slays me with a mischievous smile. “I’ll need another one to compare it to.”
Who is this girl? This new version of Liz is dangerous, and if I’m not careful, I could be in a heck of a lot of trouble.
I tug at her hands. “Come on. I’m taking you out for the rest of the day.”
“What if I already have plans?”
“Do you?”
“No.”
“Good.”
∞∞∞
It’s after midnight when I open the front door to find Jay sitting at the bottom of the stairs, clearly waiting up for me. When Liz and I happened upon a café doing a karaoke night, her face lit up like Christmas. Naturally, I insisted we go in.
“Do you know what time it is?” Jay scowls at me from the bottom step.
“Yes, Dad,” I quip and walk into the living room to face-plant into the sofa. I'm exhausted from a long, but really fun, day.
Jay flicks the light switch for the living room causing the room to flood with bright light.
“Turn it off,” I grumble.
“Julien, are you drunk?”
I give him my middle finger. Jay’s booming laughter makes my head throb. “Please be quiet,” I mumble into the cushion. “I’m just really, really tired. I’ve been up since five.”
My eyes are drifting closed, and I decide I'm too tired to walk upstairs to sleep in my bed. The sofa will do for tonight. I hear Jay walk away and then noises from the kitchen. I roll over and make several grabs for my phone in my back pocket.
Me: Had so much fun with you today. Soooo sleepy. I'm supposed to go running with E tomorrow, which is now today. Ugh.
Ten seconds later.
Liz: Poor baby (insert mwah ha evil laugh)
Liz: I had fun too.
Liz: Get some sleep, pretty boy.
Me: Nite.
Liz: Goodnight, Julien.
I throw my phone across the floor and collapse back against the sofa cushions. When I next open my eyes, Jay is standing over me, drinking from a can of soda.
“How did things go with Liz today?”
I had texted him and Ry earlier to let them know our lunch date turned into a night out. Jay was not happy about that.
“We went to Belly’s. We sang bad karaoke.” Wow. As tired as I am, I’m amazed that I can actually speak coherent sentences.
“I’m glad she had a good time with you. Come on. Let me help you to bed.”
“I’m too tired,” I whine.
Jay hefts me up and puts an arm around my waist to drag me up the stairs and into our room. He tosses me onto my bed, and I kick off my shoes. I hear the water turn on in the bathroom as Jay brushes his teeth. I snuggle down in my pillows. They’re soft like Liz’s kiss.
“She’s a great kisser,” I mumble incoherently to myself before succumbing to a deep sleep.
Chapter 10
End of Summer Fun
Elizabeth
I'm outside in the backyard on, what has been so far, a nice, quiet Sunday morning. North Carolina, even in the unrelenting heat of the final days of August, is vibrantly green and lush. Various fragrant, blooming flowers and plants burst with a kaleidoscope of colors. Old beech, cedar, oak, and poplar trees expand their top canopies to give plentiful shade throughout the backyard. I'm sitting under one of the tall oaks, having decided it would be a great place to write music. And today, I’m inspired to do just that.
As I strum my guitar, my thoughts keep going back to Ryder. What is it about him that I am so drawn to? It’s ridiculous how often I look at my phone hoping that he has texted me again. When we were at the track on Thursday, I couldn’t keep my eyes off of him. There is just something about him that causes my stomach to flip and my heart to race.
A hot breeze eddies around the tree, ruffling my hair. Pulling my long locks over one shoulder, I readjust the guitar in my lap and play a few measures. Closing my eyes, I hum a melody to go with the notes my fingers are playing.
“I thought I heard music.”
Opening one eye, I squint up to find Ryder standing next to me. He’s wearing a dark gray T-shirt with a Randy’s Garage logo across it. A curl of his hair falls over his forehead as he looks down at me, and I feel that stomach flip once again.
“Hey,” I manage to answer.
“Hope you don't mind me dropping by unannounced. I had something to pick up for Dad at the auto parts store down the street, so I was in the neighborhood.”
“Not at all. Please,” I reply, motioning for him to sit down beside me. I can smell the soap he used this morning wafting off his tanned skin, and my stomach does yet another little cartwheel. My verbal acuity goes all tongue-tied, and I don’t know what to say to him. It’s like his close proximity is a cue for my hormones to go haywire.
Thankfully, my sudden social awkwardness is interrupted by Ryder asking, “What were you playing?”
“To be honest, I don’t really know. I was just messing around.”
“Whatever it was, it sounded beautiful. Then again, I always loved to hear you play.”
The smile he gives me, captivates me, and I
just stare at him. What is wrong with me?
“Elizabeth?”
“Huh?”
Ryder chuckles and shoulder-bumps me. He smiles again and I blush all over. Get a grip, Elizabeth.
“I know I've already said this but thank you for Thursday. I can't remember when I had so much fun.” I burst out laughing when I realize what I just said. “Sorry. My thoughts are like mine fields. I'm really looking forward to the day when I don't feel so awkward talking to people.”
“What do you mean?”
I hug my guitar neck to my chest. “Since I can't remember things I've done in my past or the people I used to know, I find myself trying too hard to figure out what to say, or I overthink things. It's mentally exhausting.”
Ryder’s lips purse in the cutest side-pucker before his shoulder lightly bumps mine again. “Want to get out of here?”
Do I?
“Yes, I'd like that very much. Where to?”
Ryder stands up and offers me his hand, and I realize that I would let him take me anywhere.
“To have some fun. It’s still summer after all,” he replies with a crooked grin.
We go back inside, and I tell Daniel that I'm heading out with Ryder and will be back for dinner. I suggest to Ryder that we take my car because, in all honesty, I want him to drive it again with me in the passenger seat just like he did on Thursday night. I get a tiny thrill knowing he’s taking me to destinations unknown. I want to discover new things, see new places, and try new foods. My desire to replenish seventeen years-worth of experiences pushes me to throw caution to the wind and do what I want.
“Do you mind if I turn on some music?” I ask, already taking out my phone and selecting a playlist.
Ryder has one hand casually resting on top of the steering wheel and the other placed on the gearshift. I think it’s the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen.
“You used to do that all the time when we were in my car,” he says.
I like that he says that. I take his response as a yes and hit play. The “Cruise” remix by Florida Georgia Line and Nelly starts playing. I roll down my window. My long blond hair whips all around as we speed along a back road, nothing but trees and open spaces as far as the eye can see. Ryder looks over at me, some unknown emotion clouding his eyes.