“I don’t want you to get hurt.”
I held his gaze for a few seconds before calmly saying, “Is that what this is really about? Because you are in tiptop shape, but you and I both know you could still get hurt out there. Anyone could.”
“But you have a higher chance.”
“I’m not staying, Bryan.”
This time when he exhaled it reminded me of a bull. “You really want to put yourself at risk just so you can get revenge for your family?”
I wanted to be hurt, but I understood why he thought that. It’s what I’d wanted for years, but it wasn’t my motivation anymore. Not completely, anyway.
“That’s not why I’m going.” I stepped closer to him, holding his gaze. “Think about what I said at your old house. What I’m doing now, it isn’t about the past. It’s about the future. It’s about being able to have a future. That’s why I want to go. I want to be a part of this. I want to be there when the queen dies.”
He shook his head. “I don’t believe you.”
“I’m sorry you don’t believe me, but the truth is the truth. And you can’t talk me into staying. This is my fight as much as it is yours.” There would have been a time when I would have said it was more my fight, but not anymore. Now I knew that we were all owed this moment. “I want to do this, Bryan.”
“What if I don’t want you to?” he said.
“It’s not up to you. I appreciate that you care, but this is my decision.”
He shook his head again, and when I reached out for him he pulled away. It hurt, but not enough to change my mind. This wasn’t how I’d wanted the night to go. Tomorrow was a big day, a day that could change everything, but a day that very well could be the last one for either one of us. Or both of us if things went really bad. I had faith in the plan, but I also knew that anything could happen. We had no clue how many bugs were in the hive or what the queen was like, if it even was a queen. We were facing the unknown and I didn’t want to go to sleep fighting.
“Don’t do this,” I whispered, reaching out to him again. “Don’t go to bed mad at me, tomorrow could be the last day on this earth for either one of us.”
This time he didn’t pull away, but instead reached out and grabbed me. He pulled me against him and I rested my head on his chest. His heartbeat thumped against my ear and I closed my eyes, focusing on the sound and how it made me feel. On this man and how he made me feel.
This thing had snuck up on me, had happened in the midst of so many other things that I hadn’t had a chance to stop and think about what my feelings for Bryan really meant. I thought about the future and us together, but did that mean I had fallen in love with him? It seemed too soon, too fast, but I also knew things like that happened. I didn’t believe in love at first sight, but I believed that love came at different rates for everyone. Some people could be together for a year and still not really love one another, while others could stumble into it in a matter of weeks. And these days, with life so uncertain, it didn’t make sense to play it safe.
“I know you’re not happy with me, but put that aside for tonight.” I lifted my head so I could look up into his blue eyes. “Let’s just enjoy this moment of quiet. This moment where we can be together.”
“Okay,” he said.
He leaned down and kissed me gently, allowing his arms to wrap around me and hold me tightly against his chest. The kiss was soft and slow and deep, and it told me that he was feeling and thinking all the same things I was. That he could see our future too. That if we made it out of this, if we succeeded in wiping out the aliens, we’d find a future worth living. One that was full of hope and love and promise, one that defied the desolation now covering this planet.
We had a plan, we had the man power, and we had the supplies. Too bad the hardest part was still to come. Not only did we have to get down into the crater, but we had to make our way through the tunnels and pray that we didn’t run into trouble. Then we had to let loose on the bastards while searching for the queen, because if we didn’t take her out there was no point in taking any of the others out. She could just keep laying her eggs—or whatever the hell she did—and hatch more of those things.
Even though we’d reconciled last night, the argument Bryan and I had stuck with me as we prepared to head out. I knew he still wasn’t happy and I hated that he was angry with me, but he had to realize that I wasn’t someone he had to take care of. Yes, I was hurt, but it wasn’t a life or death injury and I refused to allow it to hold me back. Especially when we’d reached a turning point.
I couldn’t deny that there was still a small part of me that did want revenge, but nothing I was doing was based on emotions. It was based on the reality of this world. In the apocalypse, if you had the ability to fight you did.
I waited until we were both packed up and ready to head down to the lobby before turning to face him. “I want to make sure things are good between us.”
He exhaled. “I know. They are. I’m just…worried”
“I know, and I do appreciate that you care what happens to me, but I need to do this as much as you do. You get that, right?”
“I do.” Bryan shook his head and the way he clenched his jaw told me that he was still having a tough time with it. “I just think it’s ridiculous to put yourself at risk. Your arm is in a sling, for God’s sake.”
“I handled myself on the street okay, didn’t I?”
“Yeah, but this is different. This is going into the hive.”
“I’m the one who’s been inside before. I know what I can handle, and I promise that if I feel like I’m hurting too much or my injury might put others at risk, I’ll hold back. I don’t want anyone to get hurt because of me.”
Bryan’s shoulders relaxed a little at my words. “You promise you’ll follow through with that?”
“I will. As long as you promise that you’ll take me at my word when I tell you I’m okay. It hurts, but I can work through the pain.”
“Okay.”
He hugged me then, pulling me against him just long enough to let me know that things were okay between us. We didn’t have time to bask in make up sex or anything, although that would have been nice, because at that very moment the rest of the group was probably in the lobby getting ready to head out and we needed to join them. With a group this large, it was going to take some time for everyone to rappel into the crater, and the longer we waited to head out, the more daylight we were burning.
By the time we made it downstairs, the first floor was so full it felt like it would burst. The conversations going on around us echoed off the walls, rivaling the sounds the bugs had made when they’d tried to break in. After all these years of being unused to such large crowds it should have given me a headache, but I was too amped up and excited to see such a big group ready to head out and take down the hive. We hadn’t been organized like this since the early days, and I wasn’t the only one looking forward to heading out. The anticipation in the air was as thick as the humidity was.
It wasn’t long before everyone started filing out into the street. Bryan and I were too far back to hear an order to head out if one had been given, but also too far away to see exactly what was going on. I knew the claws were outside, no one wanted to bring rotting legs into the building, but when we got closer I saw that all the other supplies were as well. Lanterns, guns, knives, the few gas masks we had, they were all being handed out as the people filed through the door. Everyone already had their assignments, but the longer it took for us to get to the door, the more anxious I got that the supplies would be gone before we made it out there.
Outside, the supply areas were divided up by what job you’d been assigned. I headed for the grenades since I wasn’t going to be useful in hand to hand combat, while Bryan cut through the crowd in search of the claws.
When I stopped in front of Anderson, he scowled just like he always did. “You sure you’re up for this?”
“Stop asking me that.” I shoved my hand out, palm open. �
�I’m going, and if Bryan can’t talk me out of it, you sure as hell won’t be able to either.”
He put a grenade in my hand and I closed my fingers around it. The memory of that bug exploding sent a thrill through me. I couldn’t wait to get to the hive and dish out some payback.
“You feel like you can’t keep up, you let me know,” Anderson said as I hooked the grenade to my belt. “We don’t need to lose anymore good people out there.”
“I won’t put anyone at risk,” I assured him.
“Diana.” Anderson’s expression grew serious. “I meant you. We don’t want to lose you.”
As touched as I was by the sentiment, something about the expression on his face put the severity of the situation in a whole new light for me. We were heading into the hive and we had a plan, but the bugs were still tough as hell and there were no guarantees that we’d win. Hell, there were no guarantees that any of us would make it out alive.
“We’ll be okay,” I said, for both of us.
Anderson nodded and I moved on. I collected a canteen of water and the small pack of food everyone was getting. The lantern I’d been assigned to carry was the last thing I got, and even though I found myself wishing I was able to get one of the claws, I knew I couldn’t and I had to keep the promise I’d made to everyone. I needed to acknowledge my limitations. One of those being that my shoulder was still too jacked up to swing a claw through the air.
Once I had my supplies, I scanned the crowd for Bryan, but spotted Daisy and Tyler instead. They were both wielding claws and headed down the street, and the intimacy between them even as they talked was so obvious that there was no way she’d be able to deny it. Daisy had finally found her match. I just hoped to God we all made it out of here so she could enjoy it.
I pushed through the crowd and jogged up to greet them. “Hey!”
“There you are. I thought maybe you’d changed your mind.” The look in her eyes told me that like everyone else, she’d been hoping I would.
I held the lantern up. “I’m on light duty.”
“Good.” Daisy shifted the claw in her hands. “I was there when you dislocated your shoulder, and I don’t ever want to see you in that much pain again.”
“Don’t worry, the last thing I ever want to happen is to have a repeat performance.” I shuddered at the thought. I still hadn’t decided which was worse, the alien sinking its claws into me, or the dislocation. The wounds from the alien had hurt more at the time, but they’d also healed faster, making it a tossup.
Just as I caught sight of Bryan, Alex came over to join us. He was loaded down with medical supplies and looking nervous. I knew he wasn’t really cut out for a fight, but I also knew that if it were a choice between that and death, he wouldn’t go down easy.
“You ready for this?” I asked him.
“Of course.” He glanced at my arm. “You and I will be in the middle of the group where there will be plenty of big, strong men to take care of us.”
I knew he was joking, but it got under my skin anyway. “I don’t need a man to take care of me.”
Alex’s expression became serious. “Yes, you do. Not because you’re a woman, but because you have a serious injury.”
“Who needs a man when I’m around?” Daisy lifted her chin so she was looking down at Alex despite his clear advantage in height. “I never expected you to be so sexist.”
“Let’s just say I’m projecting,” he replied as he eyed a couple militia guys who were walking down. “I’d never say no to a big, strong man.”
Daisy rolled her eyes, but smiled anyway. “You and me both.”
The comment made Tyler scowl a little, but he didn’t respond.
Bryan found us before anyone could say anything else, and when he stopped next to me he said, “You guys ready?”
“Yes, sir.” Alex gave him a mock salute.
“I don’t think I’m in charge of you,” Bryan replied with a smirk.
“That’s right.” Alex let out a dramatic sigh that only masked his nerves a little. “You’re spoken for.”
I rolled my eyes as Tyler and Daisy started walking again. Bryan was on one side of me and Alex was on the other when we fell into the group of people headed toward the crater. I’d seen the damn thing every single day for the last four and a half years, but now that we were preparing to go inside, it suddenly looked twice as big as it had before. I didn’t know what buildings used to stand here, I honestly had never thought about it before, but they had to have been big ones.
The mouth of the crater was wider than three city blocks. It gaped open, spewing greenery out onto the streets and surrounding buildings. The vines were thickest at the opening, some of them bigger around than I was. They reminded me of the sarlacc pit in Return of the Jedi, how the tentacles had reached up and tried to grab people so they could pull them to their death. Only the vines coming out of the crater hadn’t pulled anyone down, but had instead snaked their way across our planet until they’d nearly taken over.
The crowd moved forward as more and more people disappeared into the blackness. We had to slow as we neared because people were already rappelling into the crater. My stomach tightened, only I wasn’t sure if it was nerves or excitement. Maybe both. Anything could happen, but I was more than ready to get it over with at this point. If we were going to die today, at least we would go out fighting.
We reached the front of the group and I was able to get a good look into the crater. The first few people who’d gone down had cleared away some of the vines, making it possible for us to see past the greenery. Beyond the vines there was nothing but blackness upon blackness. The crater looked bottomless, but I knew it wasn’t because I had actually been inside, and now I was about to go in again.
“You ready for this?” Bryan called as a man I didn’t know approached me with a rope and harness.
I hooked the lantern to my belt so my one good arm was free. “I’ve been ready.”
The man helped me into the harness and secured it before running through the basics of rappelling. It seemed simple enough, and the other people going down made it look easy, but I knew going down with a sling on was going to be tricky.
Bryan was already harnessed and ready to go down when I reached the edge of the crater. He’d promised to stay by my side the entire time in case I needed help, and at the moment I was more than happy to have him there. My legs were shaky and I suddenly felt certain that this was the wrong decision. What was I thinking? How was I supposed to rappel into a crater with only one good arm?
“You’ve got this,” Bryan called, almost as if he could see the fear on my face. “You ready?”
I nodded.
Bryan eased his body over the edge of the crater and I followed his lead. The first few steps were awkward, but once I was in and my legs were braced against the side I felt more secure. We made our way down side by side, past the vines that wound around each other in tight knots and into the darkness.
The further down we went the cooler the air got, just like it had before, and I was halfway down when it all came slamming into me. All the sights and sounds and feelings came rushing back, and I suddenly found myself frozen. Moisture dripped off the walls and landed on me or fell to the ground, making pinging sounds that took me back to my time in the hive. To the chilly air and the rain that never stopped, to the helpless feeling of being trapped. I could picture the bodies on the wall, could feel the ache in my sides from where the alien’s claws had pierced my skin.
“Diana.” Bryan’s voice sounded far away.
I had to force my head to turn, but even then I felt like my eyes wouldn’t focus on his face. I knew it was him, but all I could picture was the man the alien had dragged into our cell. How his head had bobbed to the side, the same head that had later been pierced by the claw. There had been so much blood, and yet he’d suffered a much faster and easier death than the other people who’d been dragged there had.
“Diana,” Bryan said again, louder this time.
I blinked and his face came into focus.
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah.” I took a deep breath, pulling damp air into my lungs and then blowing it out. I repeated the process until I felt more grounded. Until the sights and sounds of the hive had faded away. “I’m okay. I’m ready.”
Bryan’s eyes studied my face for a second, and then he nodded. “Let’s keep going.”
He moved down and I followed, this time focusing on every move I made instead of my surroundings. If I kept my mind off the crater and on my actions maybe I wouldn’t think about the hive.
Of course, very soon we’d be in the hive and I’d have no choice but to face it.
I was more relieved than I’d thought I would be when we reached the bottom. The ground that wasn’t covered in vines was soft under my feet, muddy from the constant rain that dripped into the crater. As I unharnessed myself it tried to suck my boots in, but it wasn’t fast enough.
Once we were unhooked Bryan and I moved deeper into the tunnel, joining the men and women who were already down. Thanks to the many lanterns we’d brought down it wasn’t nearly as dark as it had been the last time I was here, which helped keep my blood pressure under control. I unhooked the lantern from my belt so I could light it as well, and the soft glow it let off helped ground me even more.
We stood in tense silence as more and more people dropped into the crater. No one spoke unless necessary, knowing that the sound of our voices could carry deep into the tunnel and alert the bugs to our presence. Standing there gave me a chance to study the tunnel, something I hadn’t really had the opportunity to do the first time around. Now that I got a closer look, I saw that almost all the vines growing out of the crater came from the tunnel. They grew across the floor and walls, the ceiling too, and I had no doubt in my mind that each and every one of them originated from the hive, making me wonder once again if it all wasn’t connected.
I kept close to Bryan, and it wasn’t long before Daisy, Tyler, and Alex joined us. Having the people I cared about close made me feel more secure and more nervous at the same time. I liked knowing that people I could trust had my back, but I hated thinking that they were going to be in danger. That I could lose them.
The Blood Will Dry Page 24