by A. J. Logan
“Sounds like just what I need,” Elliot mumbles, sidestepping me.
Standing alone in the room, I reluctantly walk to the door after a beat, feeling every bit of tension as I make my way back down the hallway. There’s no longer a chance I’ll join the festivities tonight because I’m not sure which part Elliot thinks he needs, the booze or the girls, but neither leads down a good path, at least not for me. Exhaustion weighs on me as I tell myself that’s the real reason I’m staying put. A quick shower later, I pull on a cami and a pair of cotton shorts, and climb into bed. I put my earbuds in, turning the music just loud enough to drown out the excessive noise but low enough so I can drift off to sleep.
I startle awake, looking around the room before glancing to the window. Pulling the earbuds out, I’m met with silence. Thankfully. Picking up my phone, I check the time before plopping back down on the bed. I turn over, attempting to fall back to sleep when I think I hear a noise outside my door. Listening closely, there’s nothing that catches my attention as I toss and turn for a few moments before throwing the down comforter off my legs, sliding out the bed. Slowly opening the door, I glance down the hallway to find everything quiet. Tiptoeing down to the kitchen, I grab a bottle of water before heading back upstairs. It must’ve been a good party because Wade is lying on the rug, a towel wrapped around his waist. I won’t even question how that happened. I don’t want to think about what’s underneath.
A horrid sound sails through the air, halting me in my tracks, my fingers clutch the icy bottle as I hold my breath. Realizing it’s a desperate screech followed by frantic mumblings, I hurry down the hall, scared what I will find because I’d recognize his voice anywhere—Elliot.
Unsure what I’ll find but knowing I have to check on him, I force the door open, searching around as my eyes adjust to the darkness. Except for the bed where Elliot’s thrashing around in violent, jerky movements to escape something that’s not there, the room is empty. Pushing off the door, it closes behind me as I dash to the bed, cautiously reaching for him. Nudging his arm, I feel his clammy skin. “Elliot.”
He thrashes, swinging his arms around as a sob escapes his mouth.
“Elliot, wake up.” Pleading, my hands press against his chest as I attempt to shake him out of his nightmare. I’m afraid I already know what horror he’s trapped in.
His eyes fly open, his breath hitching as his fingers roughly clasp around my wrist, holding it in place. An excruciating look covers his face.
“Are you all right?”
His fingers release my wrist as his hands scrub over his face. Breathlessly, he answers, “Yeah. I’m fine,” before his hands stop rubbing his eyes and instead still over his face. I don’t know if he’s embarrassed or hiding from me or simply trying to wake up all the way.
“Are you sure? I was in the hallway and could hear …”
“I’m fine.” His harsh tone does nothing to convince me of his words.
“Okay,” I whisper, turning to leave. His firm hand catches my wrist, holding me in place as I look to him.
“Stay with me, please.”
Even in the darkness I recognize the desperate plea in his eyes, and the last thing I want to do is walk away or leave him alone after the real-life nightmare he’d just relived. Turning back to the bed, his hand releases my wrist as he pulls the cover back. Slowly climbing into bed, I slip under the covers as he pulls them over us. His arm hooks around my shoulder, bringing me flush against his body and I rest my head on his chest. A tender stroke of his hand brushes down my back as I relax against him. His hand slips under the thin material of my camisole, caressing my bare skin.
Lifting my head, I rest my chin on his chest to find he’s already looking at me. He continues stroking my bare skin with one hand and lifts the other to my face, his finger tenderly tucking a loose strand of hair behind my ear. I shouldn’t ask, but I want to know even though I fear the answer. “Does it happen a lot? The nightmares?”
His eyes remain locked on mine, and I think he’s not going to answer. But his fingers thread into my hair as he whispers, “Every time I close my eyes.”
The words slice through me. I can’t begin to imagine the vivid, horrible images he has burned in his mind, seeing them on a continuous reel night after night, reliving the most horrible moment. My eyes snap shut as I attempt to rein in my emotions. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t, Victoria. Don’t pity me.” Opening my eyes, I find him still looking at me as he slowly shifts forward, softly kissing me as he whispers against my lips, “Just don’t leave me too.”
Unable to find words, I press my lips to his, relishing the gentle, tender kiss. The hand caressing my back is joined by the other one as he wraps his arms around me, pulling me snug. Settling back, he gives me a soft kiss on my forehead and I rest back against his chest. All of this feels like it fits—his lips against mine, his hands on me, his body beneath me—only I know it’s a delusion on both of our parts. We’re caught up in the moment. He’s struggling, battling his demons, and I’m aching to help him.
Once his breathing steadies, coming out in soft spurts, I’m relieved that he’s fallen asleep. Hopefully, his nightmares will stay away for now because they are sure to return when he wakes up in the morning.
13
Elliot
Instead of waking from a nightmare, I feel pulled out of a fantasy only to realize it wasn’t a dream after all—Victoria’s slender body really is against mine, our limbs entwined so that I’m not sure where she begins and I end, and I don’t want to find out. She’s here. After she’d hummed the sketchbook at my head, I figured that was that for the night. Still, I’d watched for her the entire time at the party before finally turning in after doing my best to put up a cheerful front for everyone.
Trailing my fingertips up the silky skin of her lower back, she stirs, lazily opening her eyes as she rolls on her back, rubbing her face. Rotating towards her, I move my body over hers, hovering as her legs part. She grips my shoulders as I rest my elbows at her sides, pressing them into the mattress as I try to not put my full weight on her, but I can’t seem to get close enough. Nuzzling my face against her neck, I take in a deep breath. “That’s the best sleep I’ve had in weeks.”
Her body tenses beneath me though her arms wrap around my neck, hugging me tight. “I have to go before everyone wakes up.”
“Before Asher wakes up.”
She doesn’t respond because we both know he’s the one person neither of us wants to walk in here. Although, at this moment, a million ways I could explain run through my mind because the only thing I want less than letting her go is not holding her again. And for that reason and many others, I need to give some serious thought on how I’m going to explain this to my best friend before I screw up and lose both of them.
“I need to get going anyway.” Huntington wasn’t thrilled with my late arrival yesterday, and I doubt he would make good on his threat, but I don’t want to find out—repeating senior year would be shitty. He confirmed that my dad was on board, which doesn’t surprise me in the least—the longer I’m stuck in school, the more time he has to change my grandpa’s mind about the heir of Lawrence Bass Industries.
Taking in one last breath of her, I push off the bed before my dick overpowers my brain because it’s already standing at attention. She nervously slides off the mattress, all but tiptoeing to the door without looking to me.
“Hey,” I swiftly move behind her, clasping her hand in mine as I pull her against me. “You all right?”
When her eyes meet mine, all I see is anxiety and unsettlement as she whispers, “I just don’t want Asher to find out I slept in here.”
“Thank you for staying.”
She nods, looking to the floor.
Hooking a finger under her chin, I tilt her head up until her eyes meet mine, struggling to make the request that was almost impossible for me to get out last night. “Stay with me tonight.”
Tensing, she presses her hands against m
y chest as I bend down, feathering a kiss on her neck before continuing. “It’ll only be us, so there won’t be anyone to hide from. We can just sleep, that’s it.” Unless she wants more because it had taken everything I had in me not to bury my face between her thighs last night. But I hadn’t wanted her to leave … or throw something at my head again.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“I promise I’ll be good.” I skim my fingers over my chest, drawing an X over my heart. “I just want to sleep without seeing … or at least have someone to wake me if I do.”
Biting her lip, she agrees to my insane request, and I couldn’t be more thrilled.
“I’ll be home after my prison term, but you can head over whenever you’re ready.”
“Okay,” she whispers, stepping away from me without another word. I’m hoping the only cause of her uneasiness has to do with her brother catching her in here. She peeks into the hallway, then disappears through the doorway, closing the door behind her.
It’s understandable. The outcome weighs heavily on me because I know Asher well enough to know that finding me in bed with his little sister won’t do my life expectancy any favors and that’s only the beginning of the shit I need to sort through. And it’s all terrifying, perhaps impossible to work through, but not being next to her tonight seems dire in comparison. Am I really willing to put my friendship on the line—for her? I don’t want it to come to that, but the answer is obvious since I’m already gambling just by inviting her to my house. Lying to him and hiding it will only make things worse but I’m not ready to lose either of them yet.
Hurrying out of the house, I thank my lucky stars I’m able to avoid the last person I want to keep in the dark about anything.
The NSX comes to an abrupt halt in the nearly vacant parking lot. I swing the door open, jog into school, and spot Huntington standing at the threshold of the room that will be my prison for the day.
Glancing to his watch, he looks to me with disappointment. “You’re late.”
“I beat yesterday’s time though.”
“Elliot. I expect you here on time, accepting the responsibility for your actions. That’s the reason you’re here. It was your doing, therefore it’s your consequence.” He shifts, rubbing his hand across his face before taking a softer tone as he continues. “I can’t begin to imagine what you’ve experienced, but I won’t allow you to run rampant or evade accountability for your actions.”
Looking away, I regain my voice because what should be a lecture is actually a relief. I don’t want him to feel sorry for me or make the worst night of my life nothing but an excuse for future bad behavior. “Thank you,” I finally squeak out. “I’ll be on time from now on.”
He gives me an approving nod, stepping aside as he motions for me to enter the classroom. “My door is always open, Elliot, don’t forget that.”
Solemnly walking into the classroom, I can’t help but think of my dad. Why can’t he say something, anything to make me feel half as supported as my damn principal? It’s not like Richard had ever been father of the year, but recently I’ve questioned if he hates me because my grandpa picked me or if he’s always hated me and that was just the ultimate blow to keep him from masking his disdain. Dropping into a desk at the far end of the classroom, I glance over to see Grant looking over his shoulder to me with a smirk.
“Rough night?” he snickers.
“Blow me,” I respond, looking away from him. His taunts are minuscule compared to the jumbled mess in my mind right now, especially since I woke up with a gorgeous redhead in my bed and will be doing so again tomorrow morning. Picturing her in my bed is pretty much the only thought I want to keep in mind as the day slowly ticks by, one excruciating second at a time.
Finally, it’s the end of Sunday’s punishment, and I hurry outside, dropping into the NSX. I waste no time as I head to my house, wanting to actually be there for the first time in a really long time. As I pull into the garage, I’m disappointed to not see her car anywhere in sight. Shit. This is an even bigger problem than I’d thought. I need to get a grip, but instead, I send her a quick message, letting her know I’m home.
Quickly, I hop in the shower and get dressed in record time, then check my phone again. No response. Tossing it aside, I fall back on my bed. Damn it. Having her near has only made me want her around more. Hopefully, it doesn’t get worse because here I am, grabbing my phone and calling her. No answer.
When my phone rings a few minutes later, I get excited until I see Asher’s name on the glass screen. Does he know? Is that why she hasn’t responded?
I answer, holding my breath as I wait for my best friend to speak.
“Hey. I’m heading over in a few.”
“What? Why?” I ask, unsure of what’s going on. He sounds normal. Not mad. Not upset. Not ready to strangle me for inviting his little sister into my bed. Again.
“Victoria told me that you didn’t want to stay in the house alone. Why didn’t you tell me, man? You know you are always welcome here, and I don’t mind crashing over there if you’re having a hard time.”
“What did she tell you?”
“She mentioned that you looked exhausted this morning and after she questioned you, you finally admitted that you were having nightmares and didn’t want anyone to know … but I don’t understand why you didn’t tell me.”
“I didn’t want anyone to know.” But she took care of that. Sending my best friend to babysit me out of pity. “Is she around?”
“No. She left. Something about staying a few nights at our grandparents’ house. Do you want to grab something to eat or did Susan leave us food?”
She left. The words echo in my mind, recalling how I’d pathetically asked her to stay, pleading with her not to leave me too. Like my mother attempted to do.
“You there?”
“Ah, yeah. Don’t worry about coming over. I tried to tell her I was okay. It was just a bad night.” Really bad because now I know how she feels, how I feel when she’s in bed with me.
“I’m heading over anyway, so tough shit.”
“Thanks, man,” I mumble, disconnecting the call after assuring me he’s on his way. I don’t want his pity, but I can’t help but appreciate the fact that he cares enough to show up, unlike her.
My fingers clutch the phone, then without thinking, I hurl it across the room, and it smashes into the wall, splintering into pieces. Hurrying downstairs, I yank a fifth of whiskey out of the fully-stocked cabinet beneath the bar, downing a long swig before heading to the backyard. Plopping down on one of the lounge chairs, I take another drink, looking around the deserted patio. It’s been decorated as an oasis for the upcoming bonfire where everyone I know, and some I don’t, will laugh and have a good time, completely unaware of the torment trapped inside the walls of the house. And the one person who eases the agony is nowhere to be found.
Less than twenty minutes later, Asher steps out the back door onto the patio. Dropping onto the lounge chair beside me, he asks, “Is that supper?”
“Yep.” I hold the bottle to him as he grabs it, takes a swig, then returns it. “Thanks for coming.”
“Anytime.”
My eyes stay focused on the darkness as we thankfully sit in silence. I’m scared my words will betray me, revealing the beast I’m trying to tame tonight. Even as her emerald eyes flash in my mind, I have to remind myself it’s better that she’s nowhere around. To think, I was willing to gamble my friendship on her stupid ass when she doesn’t even have the decency to pick up the damn phone to tell me she’s bailing. At least she did so before I lost my best friend—he’s the only person I’ve been able to count on through all of this. She did us both a favor, but that doesn’t do anything to stifle my anger.
14
Victoria
Sullenly, I step into my closet, clutching the towel around my nude body as I make my walk to the back wall. Pulling open one of the built-in drawers, I grab a bra and underwear and let the towel drop to t
he floor. Pulling on the undergarments, I walk to the side wall, snatching down each piece of freshly pressed clothing needed to complete Golden Olympus’s required uniform. I mechanically go through the motions of slipping the shirt on before tugging the pleated skirt up.
Thankfully it’s finally Friday, so it won’t be the required wear for two whole days. The week had gone by uneventfully, rather mundane actually, considering the incidents of the weekend. I wasn’t sure what to expect, but I figured Elliot would be pissed and would waste no time giving me hell. Instead, he’s completely ignored me. Well, except for a few times when I’d looked to him and found his eyes intent on me before flashing a devilish smile my way. Each time, he’d given me the feeling that the thoughts behind the façade were anything but pleased with me. I’d wanted to go to his house, crawl in his bed, and feel safe in his arms, but I couldn’t. And I’ve spent every day since Sunday wondering what would’ve happened between us if I had.
The sound of the closet door clicking closed breaks through my musing, and I turn to look. Before I can, I’m hauled backwards, a hand clasping over my mouth, smothering my scream. I’m held against a solid body, one I’d recognize the feel and smell of anywhere. His front is pressed against my back; we’re molded together from hips to shoulders. His hand comes off my mouth for a fraction of a second as he spins me to face him. My stomach drops at Elliot’s furious face. There’s no evidence of a smile as he walks me backward until I’m up against the smooth surface of the wall.
“Scream and I’ll let you explain why I’m in here,” he removes his hand from my mouth.
“What are you doing in here?” Frantically, my mind tries to comprehend what’s going on as he leans forward, pressing his body against me, reminding me why I didn’t trust myself to be alone with him. His fingers snake around the damp skin of my neck.