Helena Valentine, December 2011.
The baby is huge. It has to be at least eight months gestation. It’s from over two years ago. It makes me wonder if this child is his. I really cannot imagine him with a child. It doesn’t seem like him.
Setting the photo aside, I dig a little deeper into the box to find photos of a very beautiful pregnant woman. She has long, blond hair, sun kissed skin and a flawless smile. She looks happy; like the happiest woman on earth. She’s holding her swollen belly, showing it off to the world as if she’s the proudest woman in the world.
In a few of the photos, Slade is in the pictures with her, but he looks different; much different.
He’s clean cut with short black hair, no tattoos and the most beautiful smile I have ever seen. I also notice that the scar on his cheek isn’t present in the pictures. He looks so happy; nothing like the Slade I see today. He’s laughing in almost every single one of them and even kissing her belly in one. He’s wearing a suit in a few of them. He looks very professional and handsome.
I hate to feel like I’m prying, but it makes me wonder where this Helena is at. Where is this baby? Did he leave her and now regrets it? Is she still around, but a dark secret that he doesn’t want anyone to know about? There are so many possibilities that my head is spinning. I feel lightheaded trying to piece it all together. Slade may be a lot of things, but I don’t take him for reckless abandonment.
I’m sitting here just staring, in a daze, when all of a sudden I feel someone standing above me. My heart sinks to my stomach when I look up and see the hurt look in Slade’s eyes. He’s looking back and forth between me and the box. I instantly drop the photos and hold my breath, not knowing what to expect.
He’s standing above me with his jaw steeled and his fists balled at his sides. His body is slick with sweat and his hair is dripping with water as if he’s just worked out. His eyes are quick to change from hurt to pure anger and rage. I’ve never seen someone so angry.
“What the fuck are you doing in here?” He grips the door frame and squeezes as hard as he can. His muscles flex so hard that his arms are shaking and his veins are popping out. “Did I say you could go through my things?”
I scramble to my feet and grip the sheet against me. “No. I wasn’t trying to snoop. I was looking for a shirt to-”
“Yeah. I can fucking see that. It must have been by fucking accident then. Am I right?” His jaw clenches even harder as he reaches for my arm and pulls me to him.
He looks me in the eyes for a second and I almost see them soften; a glimpse of hope that he wants to talk to me and let me in. I can’t help what comes out next. “Where are they? Did you break her heart and leave her? What about your child?”
He takes a deep breath and backs us out of the closet before slamming the doors behind me and punching the wall. “Get the fuck out!” He reaches in his dresser, grabs a shirt and tosses it to me. I catch it while trying to keep my composure. “There. That’s what the fuck you were looking for. Now. Get. Out.”
I clutch the shirt against my body and watch as he leans over the dresser and takes a long, deep breath. He stays in the same position for a moment before knocking everything over to the floor and then pushing his dresser over as well.
He doesn’t say another word to me. He just stands there looking the other direction, his body tight and his breathing heavy.
“I’m sorry,” I stammer. “I-”
“I said get out,” he says firmly. “Leave the sheet and go. I won’t look at you. Just go.” His voice rumbles as he grips his hair in his hands before reaching for his pack of cigarettes.
I can’t stop watching him. My hands shake as I drop the sheet, quickly throw his shirt on and run out of the room, shutting the door behind me. I fall against the door and take a deep breath as I hear him breaking things and screaming from the other side. I didn’t even know he was capable of feeling anything. I guess I was wrong. He’s definitely feeling right now.
After a few seconds, I pull myself together enough to walk away. I don’t know why, but a part of me wants to stay. A part of me wants in even though I know that will never happen. I want to see this part of him that I never even knew existed.
I quickly reach for my ripped dress and ball it up in my arms while running down the steps, past the couch and to Cale’s door.
It’s still dark and quiet so I doubt that he saw me. I quickly turn the knob and push the door open only to stop dead in my tracks when I set eyes on a naked Cale getting his dick sucked by some chick. He looks up while gripping her hair as if my presence doesn’t even bother him.
“Holy shit!” I cover my eyes and fall against the wall. “I didn’t know you were in here.”
Cale lets out a soft chuckle. “Calm down, Aspen. You act as if you’ve never walked into this situation before.” He moans before speaking again. “Your phone’s been going off. It’s on the dresser.”
Keeping my hands over my face, I maneuver my way into the room and over to the dresser as quickly as I can. “I’ll be right out. Shit!” I grab my phone and then quickly turn and rush for the door. Right as I’m about to walk out, Cale’s voice stops me.
“You caved in,” he says softly. “I hope you know what you’re doing.”
Without turning his way, I take a deep breath and exhale. There’s no denying it. The proof was left on the steps. “I do. Trust me.”
I step out of his room and shut the door behind me. My heart is going crazy right now and I’m in total shock and a little grossed out. I can’t believe that girl didn’t even stop sucking that whole time.
Seriously though!
I take a seat on the couch and take a look at my missed messages. My heart sinks when I see Jay’s name across the screen. He called twice and sent a text message.
I touch the screen and go straight to the message.
This is a lot different than I expected it to be, Aspen. I actually miss you here. I’ll see you in two days.
Swallowing hard, I drop my phone down beside me and lay down across the couch. Any other day, I would be jumping to respond to his message. Well, not today. I just don’t have it in me. The need is not there.
FUCK! THIS IS GOING TO be a shitty day . . .
I take a long drag of my cigarette and hold it in while leaning my body weight against the side of the building. I’ve been outside smoking for the last twenty minutes and I have a feeling it’s going to take a lot more than just this shit before I’m able to collect myself enough to go back inside. My head is all fucked up.
I can feel my hands shake as I exhale and cross my arms over my chest to calm my breathing. My nerves are so shot today that I’m surprised I even made it out of bed to begin with. My mind hasn’t stopped spinning since I kicked Aspen out of my room this morning.
What the fuck?
I toss my cigarette down, turn around to face the building and punch it repeatedly. What I wouldn’t give right now for a fucking release; some kind of distraction. My mind is in such a haze I don’t even notice the crackling of bones and splitting of skin. Does it hurt? Hell yeah, but physical pain I can deal with. I’m not good at dealing with this shit. The pain shooting through my hand does little to rest the demons inside my head. All it does is piss me off more.
I look up with guarded eyes when I hear some voices nearby. A few girls in passing; laughing and talking amongst themselves. The voices keep getting closer. I’m standing off towards the back of the building next to a dark alley that separates two buildings. It’s not very often people come back this way. It’s usually my safe place; a place where I can think.
“Is that you, gorgeous?”
A slim figure rounds the building and my eyes are quick to scan it out. Every single inch of it. A pair of long, slender legs lead up to firm thighs, followed by a curvy set of hips hugged by a barely there dress and a firm set of breasts. I know those breasts anywhere.
My eyes continue to marinate in the hot as hell female I recognize as the sexy redhead
from the other day. She’s no longer dressed in work attire. The perfect example of a little sugar and spice, that’s for damn sure. She’s in far less now.
Fuck me.
She smiles when she notices me checking her out. She’s definitely enjoying giving me a good show and I’m enjoying the view. She found a damn good time to give it too. “Sarah told me I could find you back here. You busy?” She works her lips together, smearing her red lipstick while putting her cigarette out on the bottom of her heel. “I have some extra time tonight and was hoping I’d find you.”
Wiping my bloodied fists on the back of my pants, I step closer to the temptation in front of me and look her up and down, taking her all in. “Are you sure you have enough time for me? This may take a while. A long fucking while.”
Looking over her shoulder, she sends her friends off with a wave of her hand before turning back and flashing me a seductive smile. Her demeanor turns serious while checking out the bulge in my jeans. “I definitely have time for you.”
She steps toward me, places her hands on my chest and backs me up against the building. I know exactly where she’s going with this and I can’t deny I need exactly that.
I pull out another cigarette and light it as she drops to her knees and starts unbuckling my belt followed by my jeans. She works fast at pulling them down my hips while rubbing my erection with her free hand. “Mmm . . . you’re a big boy, aren’t you?” She pulls my briefs down, letting my cock spring free from its restraints. Her eyes go wide as she licks her lips. “Definitely a big boy. I’m going to have fun with this one.”
I close my eyes and take a drag as she moves in and closes her lips around my cock. She moves in a slow rhythm, swirling her tongue around while moving her hand up and down my shaft. She’s a pro at this. The combination of the nicotine mixed with the suction is just what I need at the moment.
I moan as she starts moving faster. It feels fucking fantastic, but I’m not feeling the release that I should. This pisses me off.
Taking another hit, I inhale it long and deep while grabbing the back of her head and pushing it further down so my head hits the back of her throat. She grabs my ass and starts sucking faster; enjoying it.
I move my hips back and forth, fucking her mouth, matching her rhythm; looking for a release that isn’t coming. Not even close.
Dammit! I’ve had enough of this shit.
Tugging her hair so she knows to stop, I pull out of her mouth, bend down and pick her up to her feet. I toss my cigarette down. “Bend over.” I place my hand on her back and push her forward so her ass is in the air. Beautiful. She looks over her shoulder at me, waiting. “This isn’t doing what I need it to do, sweetheart. I need to bury my cock deep in your pussy for the release I need. You better be ready to take it deep and hard.” I bend over her and speak in her ear while pulling her dress up. “I have a lot of frustration to work out. Just a one-time release.”
I turn her around so she can place both her hands on the building for support. She’s going to need it. I slap the right exposed cheek, hard. She yelps and I press my front to her back. “You like that,” I ask as I hook my thumbs under her panties and inch the tiny thong over her hips, letting them fall to her feet. Pushing back, I reach in my pocket for a condom.
My jaw clenches as I stare down at her slick pussy just waiting for me to ram my cock in it; to give her the same release I’m needing. For some reason, I don’t feel the same rush as usual. As a matter of fact, I don’t feel shit.
“Fuck!”
I toss the condom packet at the building and rub my hands over my face. I am beyond frustrated with myself at the moment. This is not fucking good. Sex has always been my way to cope. If I don’t have that what kind of pussy am I? What the fuck am I supposed to do now?
She looks over her shoulder to see my face before she quickly stands up and pulls her dress down. She looks disappointed as fuck. “What the hell is wrong? Are we doing this or not?”
I shake my head while pulling my jeans back up and exhaling. “Not.” I buckle my jeans and then turn to walk away while redoing my belt buckle. I need to get my ass busy with something. Fucking shots or something. Anything to numb this shit.
I storm my way back into the bar and over to Sarah. “Give me a fucking shot; the strongest you got . . . and quick.” I sit my ass on a stool and watch as she reaches for a glass. She flashes a knowing smile while setting it down in front of me and eyeing me up and down. “What, Sarah?”
She shakes her head and pours me a shot of Whiskey. “Looks like you’re not the only one here to drink your mind away.” She nods behind me and leans over the bar. “Look behind you by Hemy.”
I grab my shot and spin around in my stool while slamming it back. The sight in front of me makes my heart race.
What the hell?
“How long has she been here?” I push the shot glass in front of Sarah and stand up. “Another one. Fast.”
Sarah sighs and pours me another one. “She got here right after you went outside. She’s already had three shots of Vodka and a Vodka and cranberry.” She watches as I slam back the second shot before speaking again. “She looks like she’s having some fun with Hemy. My guess is . . .” She smirks at me and grabs my empty glass out of my hand. “That you already fucked her. Women always seem to go looking for the next guy to make her feel wanted.”
“Yeah, well we both know she isn’t getting it with that mother fucker. He’s worse than I am. Shit.”
I can already see Hemy working his bad boy charm on Aspen and even from across the room, it looks as if it might be working. The truth is, if Hemy wants to fuck someone he will fuck them one way or another. It’s how it works with him.
He’s over there with his jeans unbuttoned, slowly pouring water down the front of his chest while looking her directly in the eyes and fucking the damn air. From my angle I can see her hands reach out to touch his stomach. I’m not sure I’m liking this shit.
Making my way across the room, I step up behind Aspen and grab her arm to turn her around. It takes her a few seconds before she even registers that she’s looking at me. The drinks are clearly setting in and I’m wondering just what the hell her reasoning is for being all over Hemy. “What the fuck are you doing here?”
Aspen laughs, clearly unfazed by my tone and yanks her arm out of my reach. “I’m getting a strip tease from Hemy. What does it look like?” She reaches for Hemy’s jeans and pulls him closer to her. “Don’t stop dancing on account of that asshole,” she says with a scowl.
Hemy raises an eyebrow to me and smirks as he notices my eyes trail down toward her hands that are working their way down to his hard dick. She’s clearly trying to push my buttons.
“Don’t come over here and try to ruin my fun just because you’re having a bad day. Clearly you have some shit to deal with.” She runs her hand over Hemy’s cock while looking at me. Hemy seems to fucking like this. “Maybe Hemy isn’t as big of a dick as you.” She laughs and looks me in the eyes. “Well, he definitely has as big of a dick as you. Maybe he knows how to use it just as good.”
Okay. Now I am getting extremely fucking pissed. I don’t like seeing her rub his fucking cock one bit. It makes me want to kick the shit out of Hemy. Well, that’s a fucking new feeling. “Too bad you won’t be finding out. You’re fucking going home. Now.”
She yanks her arm away from me as I reach for it. “The hell I am. I’m having fun with Hemy. He’s so damn sexy.” She steps closer to Hemy and caresses his chest and abs. “And I bet those piercings feel . . . good. I’ve heard some hot, hot stories about him. Maybe I want to try him out. Have a little fun of my own for once.”
Hemy goes to reach for her waist, but I place my hand to his chest and push him back. “Back the fuck up, man.” My jaw steels as I look him in the eyes to let him know just how fucking serious I am. “Not a good time to fuck with me.”
Hemy gives me a hard look before backing away and finding the closest chick to start grinding on. We ma
y push each other’s buttons, but we’ve figured out in the past just how far to push each other. We’re not going that fucking route again.
“Are you serious?” Aspen reaches for her purse and starts heading for the door. “I really cannot stand you. First you fuck me and then you throw me out like trash and now you ruin my fun. What the hell goes on in your twisted mind?” She moves faster as I fall into step behind her. “Huh? Huh? What?”
“None of your business. All you need to know is that you’re acting like a fucking fool. If you think Hemy will treat you any better than me, then you’re fucking mistaking. He will take you home and call over a buddy while they both fuck you until you’re sore. Then they will wake up and fuck you again. You will still end up alone in the end results. Hemy is not going to make things any better.”
She yanks the door open and rushes outside before turning around to yell at me. “So, what the hell does it matter? It seems that no one wants me. I’m not enough for anyone. Might as well just fuck them all then. I’m so tired of it. So tired of everyone treating me like I’m worth nothing but sex. What is so wrong with me?”
I watch as she turns around and stomps over to her friend’s car. She struggles with unlocking the door while trying to balance on her heels. “Don’t you fucking get in that car.” I stride over and yank the keys from her hand. “You’re not driving.”
She reaches for the keys, but I hold them up high so she can’t reach them. She slaps my chest and pushes me. “Give. Me. The. Keys.”
I shove them in my front pocket and push up against her until her body is pinned against the car. “No. You’re not driving. You’re fucking drunk.” I pin her hands above her head as she struggles against me. “And you are fucking enough. We’re all just fucking assholes. You need to know that.”
She stops struggling against me and looks me in the eyes. I see a hint of her there but I can tell that she’s pretty close to wasted. After a few seconds, she pulls one of her arms free and reaches into my pocket digging for the keys. I feel her hand brush over my cock and it instantly gets hard. “Give it to me, dammit.”
Walk of Shame Series (Books 1-6) Page 10