by Natalie Ann
“I’m not anymore,” she said.
“Because of Trey?”
“Yes. Because of Trey.”
22
Made Himself At Home
“Are you sure you’re okay for the night?” Trey asked her a few days later. “Gillian would have taken him.”
Ben was crawling on the floor and looking the tree over at Whitney’s. “I’ve wanted him for the night for a while and I know you’re nervous about it. But then we can spend Christmas together tomorrow too. Unless you wanted to be with him alone at your place?”
“No,” he said. “I’m happy to be spending it with you.” He’d even brought over all of Ben’s gifts when Whitney was working yesterday and put them in her home office. Whitney was going to put them under the tree when Ben was sleeping.
He wished that he could be there when Ben woke up, but knew that wasn’t going to happen. Whitney promised to keep Ben upstairs until he got home so that his son could see the tree and the loot all at once with him. It was sweet of her to offer that.
Just goes to show that she was always thinking of things he wasn’t.
“Good. And I promise when he gets up, I’ll run downstairs and get his milk and a snack before I take him out of the playpen and then let him play up here. He won’t know what is going on. You’ll be home shortly after, I’m sure.”
“The captain replacing me said he’d come in an hour earlier. So if there aren’t any fires, I should get out at seven and be here no later than seven thirty.”
She leaned in and kissed him. “Then stay safe tonight and Ben and I are going to have a ball. I’ve got him cute Christmas pajamas and I’ll send you some pictures.”
Stay safe is the most she’d ever said about his career. Any concerns she’d had over it years ago didn’t exist now, he was positive.
“Please do,” he said. His mother and Gillian always blew his phone up with pictures so he could see what he was missing when Ben wasn’t with him.
He walked over and picked Ben up, gave him a kiss on the cheek. Ben could care less and wanted to get down. He’d spotted his firetruck in the corner and was making a beeline for it.
“Don’t worry, I’ll make sure he doesn’t fall,” she said.
“I know you will. He’s not close to walking yet, but he’s getting there.”
“And you want his first steps to be with you. I know. But he and I can pretend to put fires out around the house. Maybe I’ll light some candles and blow them out so he sees the smoke.”
“Not funny, Whitney.”
She was laughing. “Yes, it was. I won’t let Ben touch the matches though.”
“Bye,” he said, walking out shaking his head. Yeah, no issues with his career at all.
He didn’t realize how much he missed this in his life. Her joking manner over the years. Her thoughtfulness too.
He could get along with just about anyone. He didn’t lose his cool often either.
He’d like to think that Ben got his personality but had no clue what he was like as a baby other than what his parents told him.
When he got to the firehouse, the captain he was replacing said, “Thanks for coming in early.”
“No problem. You’re helping me out tomorrow.”
“Ben should have fun this year,” Nolan said.
“I’m sure he’s going to make a mess like he did for his birthday,” he said, remembering Ben having more fun with the paper and boxes than the toys and clothes inside.
And with the number of gifts this year, yeah, he was glad they were at Whitney’s and not his cramped place that would have felt like the elves’ production machines blew up. Of course he was going to have to bring them all home after.
He should have thought of this more, but then wondered if it might be smart to keep some at Whitney’s anyway. They were spending more time there. All weekend when he was off. She had more room to store everything too.
They’d figure it out later just like they figured everything else out.
“These are the best years,” Nolan said, picking up his jacket and keys. “Mine are teens. Now they want electronic stuff, get it and vanish on us while they talk to their friends all day.”
“I’ve got a long time before that,” he said. “Have a good night with the family. See you in the morning.”
Nolan left and Trey stayed at the front saying bye and greeting the men for his shift over the next hour. They’d managed to eat dinner but not clean it up before the alarms went off and they were racing out of the firehouse on the first of many calls.
The next morning, he let himself into Whitney’s. She’d given him a garage door opener to get in and out most times. If he was just dropping Ben off, it was easier to stop at the end of the driveway than move around her car in the garage. But if he was staying, he made himself at home.
Home...when did this start to feel that way to him?
He wasn’t sure. They’d said they loved each other, but neither of them was making any plans.
He might have wanted to but told himself to slow down. She’d had a rough time with her ex and he knew her trust in men might be shaky enough to register as aftershocks. Even her trust in him was slow in building.
They were in a good spot and he had to remember that and take it as it was.
The house was quiet, the lights all out, the Christmas tree lights on, the gifts under it. He hoped she turned the lights on this morning and had not left them on all night as a fire hazard.
He moved upstairs and realized it was quiet. When he turned the corner, he saw Whitney and Ben both on the bed. The TV was on low, Ben sleeping on his pillow with Whitney next to his son, her eyes shut, her arm around him, keeping him in the center of the bed.
He grinned. What a sight that was. His son and the woman he loved.
Quietly, he slipped into the bathroom and showered to wake his butt up. He’d love nothing more than to crawl in bed with both of them and crash after being up most of the night, but he was more interested in having his first Christmas with Ben when he’d be able to open his own gifts.
When he finished with his shower and returned to the room, Whitney was sitting up, Ben still sleeping. “Merry Christmas,” she said.
He walked over to kiss her and started to laugh. “Do you have matching pajamas on with Ben?”
“I do,” she said.
“How come that wasn’t part of the picture you sent me?” he asked, looking at the striped top. “Is it a one-piece like Ben’s?”
“No. It’s two pieces and I wanted to surprise you with it.”
“As long as I don’t have a matching pair.” When she blushed, he said, “You’re joking?”
“No. They are in the drawer. I thought maybe we could get a picture, but I understand if you don’t want to.”
He found he wanted to give her anything she asked. “I’ll put the pants on, but no top.”
“It’s only pants,” she said. “I want a picture of your bare chest with Ben. That way I’ve got two things to show off to people.”
He laughed so hard that Ben started to stir, so he snuck into her closet, found the pajama pants and put them on. Just for her. Yeah, he’d do anything for her.
23
The Vessel
A few weeks later, Whitney was at work. The holidays were over and though she’d spent New Year’s Eve without Trey because he had to work, she did go to Parker’s house for a party. It was the first and last party that Parker would have in her house since she was moving in with Evan before her brother Marcus took over her house.
She’d felt out of place being alone that night but then realized Christian was too.
It didn’t matter though because her cousin Evan popped the question to Parker and was officially engaged with a fast wedding planned. Parker wanted to be married before their daughter was born so they were looking at early February for that.
When her phone rang on her desk, she answered it. “Whitney Butler.”
“So, Trey’s girlfriend
.”
Hmm. What the hell? “Who am I speaking to?”
“Kathy Myers.”
“Is there something I can help you with?” she asked, not sure what this was about.
“I’m Ben’s mother.”
“Ben doesn’t have a mother,” she said. “Do you mean you’re the vessel that carried him?”
There was silence on the other end as if the woman might not have known that Whitney was privy to the arrangement.
“Same thing,” Kathy said.
“Not at all. So, what is it I can do for you?” she asked. “Are you looking to build a house? Need an apartment to rent? Some construction on your home?”
Might as well play it up like it was a business call and nip this in the bud. She had been told she was a sweet girl her whole life, but times changed and she was damn well standing her ground. She started it years ago when she kicked her lying, cheating husband out of the house and, damn, it’d felt awesome.
“You’re a big deal around the area,” Kathy said.
“My family’s business is,” she corrected. “What’s your point?”
“I told Trey I wanted to see Ben. That I wanted to be part of his life. Part of Trey’s too. I made a mistake and I want to fix it.”
She laughed. “I find that hard to believe.”
“I recently talked to Trey,” Kathy said. “Ask him.”
The smile fell from her face. Why wouldn’t Trey tell her that? “Talking and rekindling are two different things.”
“But do you want to take that risk?” Kathy asked. She saw where this was going.
“Listen here. I’ve got a lot of experience with douchebag exes. Some might say I’m a pro at dealing with them. You? There isn’t anything you can do or say that is going to worry me.”
“You think?” Kathy said. “Maybe I want to see my son. Maybe I want to go back to court and get visitations.”
“I see right through what you are trying to do. You want money and you think that I’m going to give it to you to go away and not cause trouble. I think I’m going to call your bluff first.”
“Maybe Trey doesn’t want to go to court. Could be he’s all tapped out of money. But his girlfriend has plenty of it. Would you be willing to help him keep his son? Would you stop this from going to court to not uproot Ben’s life?”
“This conversation is over,” she said, slamming the phone down.
She looked at her watch and saw it was two thirty and knew Trey was home. He’d worked the night before and would have gotten some sleep, then tried to get Ben from the sitter’s before his son’s nap.
She grabbed her keys ready to go over and find out why he didn’t tell her his ex called.
“Whoa,” her father said, turning the corner to her office. “What’s your hurry? You look ready to plow anyone down in your way.”
“I’ve got something I need to deal with.”
“Not like that, you don’t. Take a deep breath and tell me what is going on.”
She didn’t want to talk about this but knew her father wouldn’t let her go until she calmed down. “That was Trey’s ex that just called me. Ben’s mother. Sorry. The woman that gave Ben up for adoption to Trey.”
Her parents knew the situation. There was no secret there. Though it seemed like Trey was keeping one from her.
Then the guilt that she hadn’t told Trey that Kevin sought her out was bubbling in her throat.
“And why is she calling you?”
“Starting trouble. She said she talked to Trey too and he didn’t tell me. I want to know why.”
“You’re all ready to run over there and jump up one side of him and down the other. Like you think he’s done something wrong. Don’t overreact.”
“I’m not,” she argued.
“You are.”
“I don’t know why everyone can’t leave us alone. First I hear you’re all worried I’m going to get hurt again, but then you mix it in with the fact that I was the reason Trey broke up with me. He left me,” she said.
“And your trust in men is tainted,” her father said. “Don’t let what Kevin did to you control your thoughts with others. Not all men are like that. You knew that with Trey and I’d hope you do now.”
“So you’re trying to protect him?” she asked, crossing her arms. She should be happy her family liked Trey enough to take his side, but it was still annoying.
“I’m not protecting anyone and if I was it’d be my daughter. I’m just saying that you know this woman is trying to cause trouble. You admitted it. So don’t you think it’d be smarter to talk to Trey and ask if she contacted him first? Maybe she is lying about everything.”
Her shoulders dropped. “True.”
“So she said she wants to see Ben. Do you think Trey would allow that? You said he legally has custody of his son. That when it was all said and done it was finalized as if Kathy was a surrogate. He paid for his son, right?” her father asked. Her parents had been disgusted over that story and how someone could be so heartless, but she knew it went on in the world too.
“He told me all of that.”
“And you don’t believe it?” her father asked.
“I have no reason to doubt it,” she said.
“Then there shouldn’t be any leg this woman has to stand on to see Ben. Or did she say she wanted Trey back? Do you think he is the type of guy that would go back to a woman who did that to her child?”
“No. He’s not.”
“Then my advice to you—and it’s only advice—is to talk to him. To ask questions. Don’t accuse and don’t jump down his throat. It seems to me what you two have is good.”
“People fight, Dad.”
“They do. But if you can prevent one by talking calmly, isn’t that better?”
“I tried that for years and it didn’t get me far,” she said.
“And you fought and it made it worse.”
“So it’s my fault Kevin cheated?” she asked, knowing the tears were gathering. She didn’t need her parents to take her ex’s side.
Yeah, she did things wrong. She knew that. But not enough to make Kevin do what he did.
She had to let the trash Kevin said to her over the years, even recently, get out of her head. She tried to be a great wife. She tried to give him a home she thought he’d want. He took advantage of it and her. She wasn’t letting anyone tell her otherwise.
“God, no. If I wasn’t worried your brother was going to send that dick to the hospital, I would have gotten a few good punches in myself. No one liked Kevin. Not from the first day we met him.”
“You never said that,” she said.
“Because you were still upset over Trey. We all liked Trey. He was a great kid.”
“He’s a great guy now too,” she said.
“And we want to see you two work it out if you can. But my point is, you were going away to college and we didn’t think anything would happen with Kevin. When you started to talk about coming back your mother and I were worried, but you were still so young and he was older. We didn’t think you’d get engaged.”
“And you tried to make the best of it. Mom told me. I know.”
“We wanted you to live your life as much as you should as a nineteen-year-old even if you were married. You always had a job and a place here. But you never got to be a kid like your friends did. You were going to college full time, you were working here a little and you were tending house.”
“I liked doing it all,” she said.
“I know you did. And you seemed happy and Kevin did treat you well in the beginning. At least that we saw. And if he didn’t behind closed doors, you weren’t letting on.”
No, she wouldn’t. There were things no one needed to know. Not just the vasectomy but also the words he said to her. How he made her feel. How he berated her and expected her to wait on him hand and foot.
“Do you tell everyone what goes on in your marriage?” she asked her father.
“No. My point is, we did what we cou
ld to ease things for you but maybe looking back we all should have been more vocal earlier on.”
“It would have made matters worse,” she said.
Years into her marriage Kevin started to slip and jokingly say things to her in front of others. Her family didn’t approve of his words, his actions, or his behavior. They’d told her in private and she kept it to herself. Then they’d say things to Kevin and it caused fights at home.
“We realized that after and tried to stay out of it. But some things a parent can’t keep quiet on. My point is, talk to Trey. We’ll stay out of it. I told your mother that she needs to back off. Ryan too. You have to figure this out on your own, but we aren’t worried about Trey like we were with Kevin.”
“Because you like Trey,” she said.
“We do. We know he’s always felt like he didn’t measure up back then but didn’t think much of it. But I do worry now. Is that a problem?”
“I don’t think so. It’s come up and I’ve told him to cut it out. I’d like to think he has a handle on it.”
“What about his job? Are you fearful of that?”
“Not really. He’s good at what he does. He loves what he does too. It’s who he is and I know that. Do I worry when he goes on a call? Sure. But doesn’t anyone whose family member is a fireman or in law enforcement?”
“They do,” he said. “That’s good to hear. Are you calm enough now to go over there and talk?”
“Yes,” she said, moving into her father’s arms. “Thank you. I would have gone over with guns blazing and fists swinging in a temper and it would have caused problems. I never jumped before and now I find I have to stop myself from it.”
“Everyone jumps in life when they need to. Or it’s right. It’s not right now.”
“No. It’s not justified either.”
She left the building and drove to Trey’s. His truck was in the driveway, so she went to the front door and heard the vacuum running. There was no reason to knock; he wouldn’t hear her.
When she turned the knob, he was standing there moving the Hoover back and forth, his head coming up and looking at her, a grin on his face. The pocket doors were shut so that told her Ben must be napping.