by Chloe Garner
“What would have happened differently?”
“We could have stopped with them,” Jason said.
“Why would we have done that?”
Jason took a slice of pizza and chewed on it for a second.
“You didn’t want to have dinner with them?”
“Never said that,” she said, staring out the window. She crossed her legs in the booth and sat with both hands wrapped around her cup of water, chewing on the straw.
“They didn’t want us to have dinner with them.”
“Nope.”
“Did he ask you not to say anything?”
“Never even thought of it,” Samantha said. He chewed for another minute.
“Just to have asked it. Is Caroline a demon?” he asked.
“Probably not.”
He stopped chewing.
“Probably?”
“You knew her from before, and she isn’t masking anything the way Carly did. And Sam is a substantially more powerful psychic than he was. He’d probably know by now, because he’d have had a vision of her. She’s probably exactly what she seems to be.”
“And what’s that?”
“Pretty. Happy. Uncomplicated. Interested. In great shape. About as obsessed with Sam as he is with her.”
Without any particular shift in cadence, she stopped talking and resumed chewing on her straw.
“Tell me how you really feel,” Jason said.
“Jealous. Alone. Abandoned. Burdensome.”
“I didn’t actually mean it,” Jason said.
“Oh.”
“You okay?”
“I don’t know what I’m doing. I’ve lost the plot.”
“I don’t know what that means.”
She looked over at him, straw pulling down her lower lip in an undignified shape but her eyes as sharp as ever.
“Brant’s coming after you. Brant’s coming after Sam. Sam’s becoming a stronger psychic. I’m training you as a warrior. These things I can do. Going out with Alexander didn’t need narrative. I just did it. But sitting here… now…” She looked back out the window. “I don’t really know what I’m doing here.”
“Tomorrow we’ll get to Boston and we’ll track down a family of wraiths and knock them out. After that, we’ll go find something else that doesn’t belong here and send it back where it goes.”
“But what about after that?”
“What about it?”
She looked at him again.
“Today and tomorrow are the only days for you, aren’t they?”
He thought about it, finishing his slice of pizza and snagging another.
“Pretty much.”
The straw made noises as she sucked water through it, now.
“Fighting high-level demons is like playing chess. It’s not about this move or the next one, it’s who can take this space after the sixth exchange, and what happens fourteen moves after that.”
“I’m more of a checkers guy,” Jason said. She looked at him then looked away.
“Shut up. You’re not.”
That hadn’t been what he had expected.
“You want to train once we get to Darin’s tonight? If Sam’s going to be so late?”
“Not for a couple of days. I broke a bone in your wrist yesterday,” she said.
Now that she said it, his wrist had been a little tender. He rubbed it.
“It’s not that bad,” he said.
“Try not to use it to block anything if you can help it,” Samantha said. “It’ll be fine in a couple of days unless you extend the fracture.”
“How do you know that?”
She blinked at the window.
“Physics. Chemistry. Too much time.”
She reached out to touch the window, drawing what looked like chemical formulas in the thin layer of grime there.
“You done?”
She hadn’t eaten anything.
“Yes.”
“You sure?”
“Are you expecting my answer to change?”
“You want to pull up some music in the car?” he asked.
“I don’t have the energy.”
“To get out your laptop?” he asked.
“For music.”
“I don’t think I get it.”
“I expect you don’t.”
He paid for the pizza at the register at the front and let Samantha make her meandering way back out to the Cruiser without any further badgering, but he was worried. And he really wished Sam was around.
<><><>
Samantha sat on the roof of the Cruiser, staring up at the stars. Abby had left her in frustration hours ago. Sam was asleep, which meant Caroline probably was, too. She was crashing. She crossed to the lovely green and blue of the valley on the Paradise plane once or twice, hoping it would be able to save her, but she didn’t have the energy for it. She stared up at the stars.
Something swatted and buzzed at her, but she was floating away. It was too far away for her to hear it clearly. The stars were getting closer. Bigger.
Ohio had rotten stars. Just the single ones, single, spectacular pinholes in the black carpet that covered the planet. She remembered skies that pulled her upward with a field of stars, reverberating with the sense of empty space. Something pulled at her and she tumbled off the Cruiser, body and mind too far separate to fight the fall. She lay, staring up at the stars, letting time slip around her.
<><><>
Jason woke with the feeling that something was wrong. He looked over at the bed where he expected to find Samantha, but it was empty. She hadn’t even made the pretense of pulling the sheets back. He got up and searched the house for her, even sneaking the door to Sam’s room open, but he couldn’t find her. Downstairs, he caught the odd silhouette of the Cruiser and growled.
He went outside.
“Sam, get down,” he said. She didn’t move. “Sam. Get down from there.”
She stared up at the sky with an odd intensity. He opened the driver’s door and stood on the seat, holding himself up on the roof rack.
“Sam.” He grabbed her elbow and shook her. She was in pajamas. No metal. Nothing to scratch Gwen. He relaxed a little. “Sam, come back to bed.”
Her head slowly turned, the shape of her scanning the sky. There was no recognition that he had spoken.
“Sam, are you awake?”
He pulled her arm out from under her, a little mean, but wanting to see what she would do. She lay down. He put his hand under her back, stretching to reach her, and slid her across the roof of the Cruiser until he could reach her knees.
“Sam, I’m taking you back inside. You need sleep.”
He wasn’t sure it was strictly true, but would make him feel better if she were laying in bed instead of out here. He pulled her knees over the edge and let her body roll of the top of the Cruiser, stepping down to the ground and catching her in the same motion. Her arms swung like a rag doll and her head fell back. He shifted his arm higher under her shoulders to keep her neck from having that awful, awkward angle.
“Sam. Sam, wake up.”
Her eyes were wide open, staring upward. She was breathing. He had no idea what else to do, so he closed the door to the Cruiser and took her inside and lay her down on her bed, hoping she’d be normal again in the morning.
<><><>
She came downstairs like nothing had happened. Sam, Caroline, and Jason were drinking coffee with Cathy.
“Good morning,” Cathy said. “Can I get you some coffee?”
“No, thank you,” she said.
“You sleep okay?” Jason asked. She looked out the back door.
“I didn’t sleep.”
“Oh?” Caroline asked. “Is something wrong?”
“I sleep during the day,” Samantha said. “Can I have the keys?”
Jason dug them out of his pocket and handed them to her, watching Sam.
“You feeling okay?” Sam asked. She looked at him for a moment, face blank, then smiled.
&
nbsp; “I’m working on it,” she said. “Boston by lunchtime or something, right?”
“Not quite,” Jason said. “Do you want to stop in New York on our way by?”
Her expression was empty again.
“Why would I want to do that?” she asked. “I have as many knock off purses as I can fit in the Cruiser already.”
She held up the keys in farewell and left.
“Is she always that weird?” Caroline asked. “I hadn’t noticed.”
“You should talk to her,” Jason said, wishing he could tell Sam about the night before.
“Tonight,” Sam said. “She’ll want to sit up with me after I talk to Simon anyway. I’ll talk to her.”
“What’s going on?” Caroline asked.
“She’s having a hard time with Alexander,” Sam said.
“Oh,” Caroline said. “Yeah, I guess that makes sense. Were they really serious?”
Jason narrowed his eyes at Sam.
“She hasn’t been close to many people lately. They’re all kind of important.”
“I thought you guys only started hanging out with her like, a year ago,” Caroline said.
“Lot of hours on the road,” Sam said. “Lot of time to talk.”
“Yeah,” she said, eyes flashing a warning even Jason could read. “I guess I wouldn’t know about that.”
Sam smiled and put his arm across the back of her chair.
“It isn’t that big a deal. She’ll snap out of it.”
“I’ve never seen her like that before,” Cathy said.
“Neither have I,” Jason said.
“I said I’ll talk to her,” Sam said.
“You’re a good friend,” Caroline said. Jason stood.
“Well, thanks again, Cathy. We should probably hit the road.”
“Any time,” the woman said.
Jason went upstairs to get his bag and Samantha’s backpack, but it was gone. He found her laying on it in the back seat of the car, covered with her blanket. At least she was properly asleep.
“Late lunch in Philly?” he asked, standing in the door. Sam waved.
“Sure.”
<><><>
Samantha didn’t wake for lunch, nor when they drove past New York. Sometime after sunset, she sat up in the back seat.
“Sleep well?” Jason asked.
“I don’t remember,” she said.
“You excited to get another swing at Mother?” he asked, grasping at anything to pick up a conversation.
“She will die,” Samantha said.
“Right. Sam keeping up okay?”
“Caroline doesn’t drive as fast as you do,” Samantha said. That probably made sense.
“What do you want for dinner?”
“Food is fine,” she said.
“You didn’t eat last night,” he said. She didn’t answer. He gave up, making for a seafood joint he and Sam went to every time they were this far north in New England. He hadn’t even had to ask if this was where they were headed. Everything else could change, but this one he knew without having to say.
<><><>
“I’m going to go use the bathroom,” Caroline said when they got to the restaurant. He pointed it out to her and scanned the room. Jason stood and met him halfway to the table.
“She needs you,” he said. Samantha was distant, the things going on in her head so deeply under the restless ocean she was projecting that he hadn’t been able to get a bead on her all day. Even her dreams had been distant and moody.
“I don’t know what I can do,” Sam said. Jason looked like he had an answer to that that he didn’t say. “There’s no reason Caroline shouldn’t be here.”
“I didn’t say there was,” Jason said. Yeah, but he had been thinking it.
Sam sat down at the table and folded his hands, looking at Samantha. She took a long drink of the glass of water in her hands and stared across the restaurant. She wasn’t ignoring him. She even knew he was there. She just hadn’t connected that that should matter. Sam was surprised at how much that stung.
“What’s going on, Sam?” he asked.
“She slept all day,” Jason said, sitting next to Sam.
She blinked, staring for another moment, then closing her eyes. She was wrestling something, under that ocean. Caroline was going to be back in a minute, and Sam felt at a loss for what to do to help.
“Everything’s so far away,” she said.
“We’re here,” Sam said. He put his hand on her wrist, and she jumped, spilling water all over the table. She looked at him.
“Hi.”
“Hey,” he said. She met his eyes for a few seconds, then looked down at the table. She set down her glass and started tapping out patterns on the table.
“We should work,” she said.
“That’s what we’re doing, Sweetheart,” Jason said. She looked at Sam.
“Scratching in the darkness?”
He mentally pulled away, first in surprise, and then focusing to look at the world without seeing it. The dark frame that shaped the world was there, as were the noises and the eyes that had haunted him so badly, at the beginning. Their focus was turned.
“They’re here,” he said. Her head wavered, finding some pattern that matched the chaos of her finger tapping. For some reason, he was reminded of the hotel with the succubus ghost, of standing in the iron-rod pattern on the floor. She had seen them, he knew. All around them, waiting for Sam to fall through. Her eyes had the same awareness of something else, now, but before she had been confident. Angry. Now she was lost.
“The sun’s setting,” she said.
Caroline sat.
“So what’s good here?” she asked. Sam forced himself to turn away from Samantha and pick up a menu.
“Everything we’ve ever tried,” he said.
“The house specialty is the lobster,” Jason said. Sam was relieved that Samantha’s fidgeting cut off the moment Caroline had returned. She was trying to tell him what was going on, but she was still that much in control. He worried, unable to read the menu. Unlike every other time he could remember worrying about her, she didn’t push him away as being reactive or oppressive. She wasn’t really listening to him.
“I remember this place my dad used to take me,” Caroline said. “They actually fished all morning and came in and ran the restaurant at night. Only served dinner. Only served what they’d caught. Closed down for weeks of time when the fishing was bad. You’d just show up and see if they were open. Best fish I ever had.”
Sam smiled, letting Caroline distract him. There wasn’t anything he could do, right now.
“Where was it?”
“You know, I wasn’t driving yet. I don’t actually remember. I’ll have to call him and ask. Maybe we could go.”
“A great way to celebrate offing another family of wraiths,” Jason said. The flicker Sam caught in Caroline’s eyes indicated she hadn’t meant it as an invitation, but Sam was certain Jason hadn’t noticed it. He was less sure if Jason had known what she had meant, anyway. The waitress took their orders and Caroline turned to Samantha.
“You’re quiet,” she said. Samantha tipped her head to one side.
“Yeah.”
“You didn’t ever say what happened with Alexander,” Caroline said. Sam sensed Jason straighten in his chair, and he watched Samantha’s face, trying not to look over-concerned. Samantha looked up at the ceiling for a moment.
“He couldn’t decide what he wanted,” she said. “I think he may have made the biggest mistake of his life.”
Caroline smiled.
“I like your attitude. Onward.”
Samantha looked at her and dipped her head.
“Onward indeed,” she said. To Sam’s eyes, she looked normal. Well, normal for Samantha. Listening to her over the bond though, there was an echo of pain through deep water that rose and fell, then went silent. Caroline grabbed her hand and smiled at her. It was honest. Every bit of it was honest, it just felt… off, when Samantha - o
r Jason for that matter - was involved.
“You’re going to be okay. I can tell. You’re strong.”
There was a breath of air as Samantha considered Caroline.
“You have a lovely spirit,” Samantha said. Truth. Caroline covered Samantha’s hand with her other hand, then let go of her.
“So have you guys worked in Boston a lot?” she asked, looking over at Jason.
“Almost as hairy with ghosts as the deep south,” he said. Sam wished he could get a few minutes alone with Samantha, and she caught him at it, awareness flashing through her for a moment as she scolded him silently for it, then regret. Then silence. Her eyes drifted away and there was the feeling of depth and distance again.
“My dad used to joke about getting a cabin up here so that we could just stay in between,” Caroline agreed.
“Your mom is still…”
“Oh, yeah. She’s with us.”
“What did she do while you were out with your dad?” Jason asked. “Mom had Sam to keep her company.”
Caroline laughed and rolled her eyes.
“Worried.”
“Mom never worried,” Sam said. He hadn’t thought about it in a long time. His mother’s over-arching sense of destiny.
“Que sera sera,” Jason said.
“Good Ranger,” Caroline said.
“Good Seeker,” Sam replied. He thought of Simon, always wondering if they were going to come back alive from the next job. Jobs he sent them on. It hadn’t fit together in his head quite like that before. He remembered Samantha’s first reaction to meeting the Seekers, how different it had been from how the Rangers looked at them… His dad had said more than once that Seekers had the hardest job. Somehow he had never made sense of it before.
Caroline was watching him.
“I’m sorry,” she said. He shook his head.
“Happy memories,” he said. She held his eye for a moment, then remembered Jason, throwing a hand up.
“Oh. You guys should come meet my parents sometime. I know Dad would love swapping stories with you, and…” she looked over at Sam, “my mom would want to meet you.”
Jason gave him a look. Are we at that stage of the relationship already? He glared back. Mind your own business. Caroline looked over at Samantha.
“So what about you? Where are your parents?”
The bitterness she felt was old, almost nostalgic.
“They have a little bit of land in Colorado,” she said. “They’re there with my sister.”