by Hafsa Zayyan
‘I’m not ready to go back to real life,’ he says to her on the last day of the honeymoon, her head resting on his chest while he traces the outline of her nipple with a fingertip.
She turns her head up slightly, tickling his torso with her hair. ‘Me neither,’ she whispers. ‘But there’s something amazing about knowing you’re going to be there, every day when I wake up and before I go to sleep.’
He grabs her hand and squeezes it. ‘I know what you mean,’ he lands a kiss on her shoulder. ‘That in itself doesn’t feel real.’
‘After a while it will feel all too real,’ she says, laughing. ‘We shouldn’t forget to take holidays when we go back.’
But they will have no money or time for holidays. She settles back into her life with no change to her routine, just the nice addition of him; for him, everything is different. And it’s strange, when they return from honeymoon, not having their own space. Although they do have their own room (Maryam’s auntie kindly having vacated to allow the newly married couple some privacy), their nights together are muted, one hand placed over Maryam’s mouth to quieten the sound of her moaning, gritting his own teeth as he releases. It is exhilarating at first, sexy even, but he quickly realises that he doesn’t want to live in the house on a long-term basis.
He also finds himself spending a lot of time working, which doesn’t level with his expectations; perhaps working for Mr Shah had given him the wrong impression; perhaps it is the fact that he had assumed that he had left behind a life of working long hours late into the night. But it is necessary as the factory lease is signed, employees are hired and contracts are concluded. The work is endless, but the difference is that he controls when he leaves and when he chooses to work. When Maryam’s shifts finish in time for dinner, he takes a break from work and meets her at a restaurant, or they go home to have dinner with the family, before he returns to his office. Sometimes, hunched over a desk looking at the business plan, he will remember what happened; he will see the face of the man and beads of sweat will materialise on his forehead. It will take him a good few minutes to calm down.
Sameer hears from his father for the first time two months after the wedding. The WhatsApp simply says: Mhota Papa is dying. Will you come home? He’s in a meeting with a retailer at their offices in downtown Kampala when he receives it. He asks to be excused and steps out, heart leaping into his throat, scrambling for the keypad, finding his father’s number and pressing the call button. His father picks up on the fourth ring. There are no pleasantries. ‘It’s good you phoned,’ he says shortly. He sounds exhausted. ‘Mhota Papa has acute heart failure. The doctors are saying he could go any time now. Come if you want to say goodbye.’
Sameer doesn’t ask any questions. ‘I’ll get the next available flight.’
It is nearly six o’ clock in the evening and there are no more flights that day: the only flight he can get leaves the following morning from Entebbe. Sameer cannot concentrate when he returns to the meeting and, informing the retailer that he has had a family emergency, he asks if it would be possible to rearrange.
It’s not quite sunset and the evening sun basks Kampala city with an orange glow. Sameer’s mind is racing uncontrollably. He wants to walk to try to clear it – if he leaves now, he can make it back home before nightfall. He had wanted to speak to Mhota Papa after he’d finished reading his grandfather’s letters; he’d wanted to tell him that he’d finally understood what Mhota Papa had said to him in the hospital, the last real conversation they’d had: that his dada had a lot of love in his heart. He’d meant to call – he’d really meant to. But the time had gone so quickly; there had always been something more pressing – and the thought of shouting down the phone to Mhota Papa, trying to get him to understand, became ever less of a priority. Sameer’s eyes sting with shame, hating him for not even trying.
As he crosses the road next to the golf club, its green-grass grounds filtered golden by the lowering sun, he hears a shout behind him. ‘Eh, muhindi!’
Sameer looks back – two figures, silhouetted by the dying light, are walking towards him. He doesn’t know what they want, but instinct tells him that it is not friendly. Further along the road, at the bottom of the slope of the hill joining the main road, Sameer can see the shadowy figures of people walking and talking, dimly lit. Up here, it is deserted and almost dark. He starts walking towards the main road and the people behind him follow. ‘Stop, Saeed!’ the men call. ‘We just want to talk to you!’
Sameer breaks into a jog, and they start jogging too; he starts to run and they start running. As he is about to approach the main road, he thinks of Maryam. He is nearly home.
Acknowledgements
To my Pirmohamed family, for raising my awareness of this chapter of history and for sharing their stories of their time in Uganda. To Bapa especially, who dedicated not hours but days pouring over the manuscript in painstaking detail to make sure every last word was right – always the Pirmohamed way!
To Akua, Stormzy and the #Merky Books team, for making this dream happen; for giving people like me the opportunity to tell our stories.
To Abi, for the moral support and guidance through a process which was completely new to me.
To Tom, for believing in my novel, for understanding my characters sometimes better than I understood them myself, for the vast improvements you made to the manuscript and for giving up so many evenings and weekends to get it there.
To the incredible country that is Uganda, and to those who welcomed us – to Ssebbowa Dauda Mutimba, for taking us on such a beautiful journey, and for the lifelong friendship; to Tumusiime Wardah Magezi, for your immense help with the modern-day Ugandan narrative, and for your infinite patience. To those who gave up their time to be interviewed – Namulema Haliimah, Kibunga Atidu, Rashidah Nakaweesa, Shadia Rajab, Nanyonga Salmah.
To the scholars who have dedicated their time and shared their research on understanding the causes and consequences of the Asian expulsion, and to the Asian Ugandans who have shared their stories with the world.
To Hanah, for being there from the initial #Merky Books launch, for your early edit, and for your invaluable advice and support ever since.
To Mummy and Baba, for raising me on fiction and telling me that it was possible to achieve anything; for your unfaltering support and guidance; for just being you.
To Sanaa, for being my biggest cheerleader and for never allowing me to doubt myself; for always listening.
To Riaz, without whom this book would not have been written … to Riaz, for everything.
Alhumdulilah.
Reading Group Questions
Sameer says to Maryam that ‘If you don’t understand where you’ve come from, you’ll never really understand who you are or where you’re going’. Sameer is a second-generation immigrant, just like Hasan. To what extent do you think this has affected their sense of identity and belonging?
When Sameer tells Jeremiah that his grandfather met his wife for the first time on their wedding night, Jeremiah says that Sameer and his grandfather are a few generations apart. Do you think that the concept of duty and cultural expectation has changed from Hasan’s generation to Sameer’s generation, and if so, how?
The novel explores the issue of anti-blackness in South Asian communities. Sameer is horrified by his parents’ reaction to his marriage proposal and embarrassed about his grandfather’s views when reading the letters. How similar do you think Sameer is to his grandfather? Do you think Sameer’s grandchildren would be embarrassed by any of his views?
What do you think really happened between Amira and Abdullah? Do you trust Hasan’s narrative and does he become more reliable by the final letter?
The idea that one race may be superior or inferior because of their physical or biological attributes (‘scientific racism’) is expressed in various characters’ views in both narratives. Where and how do you see this drawn out, and how are these views damaging to those who hold them?
Mr Shah say
s that ‘You’ll never be anybody if you work for somebody.’ How is the concept of success discussed in the novel? Is it ever defined?
In both narratives, the Asian protagonist’s closest friend is black. How are their relationships similar and in what ways do they differ?
Maryam and Zara are the two closest women to Sameer in the novel. To what extent do you think Sameer’s views of women are progressive, if at all?
Maryam says to Sameer that ‘We have all been affected by British colonialism.’ To what extent does the legacy of colonialism have an impact on each of the characters in the modern-day narrative?
The political history of Uganda, Idi Amin’s regime, and the expulsion of Asian Ugandans are all told through Hasan’s eyes. How do you think the novel would have differed if the historical narrative had been written from Abdullah’s perspective?
How does Sameer’s relationship with his religion change throughout the novel and what do you think the reason for this is?
By the end of the novel Sameer feels like he understands his parents better. What do you think Sameer has learned that has helped him reach this understanding?
Further Reading
There is a vast amount of information publicly available about the history of Uganda and the South Asian expulsion. For those who would like to learn more, some of the resources that were consulted when undertaking the research for writing this book are listed below.
Books
Non-fiction
Alicia C. Decker, In Idi Amin’s Shadow: Women, Gender, and Militarism in Uganda, Ohio University Press, 2014
Ashley Jackson, The British Empire and the Second World War, A&C Black, 2006
Assa Okoth, A History of Africa: African societies and the establishment of colonial rule, 1800-1915, Volume 1 of A History of Africa, East African Publishers, 2006
David Ernest Apter, The Political Kingdom in Uganda: A Study in Bureaucratic Nationalism, Routledge; first edition, 1997
Grace Stuart Ibingira, African Upheavals Since Independence, Westview Press, 1980
Jordanna Bailkin, Unsettled: Refugee Camps and the Making of Multicultural Britain, Oxford University Press, 2018
Mahmood Mamdani, From Citizen to Refugee: Uganda Asians Come to Britain, Pambazuka Press; second edition, 2011
Phares Mukasa Mutibwa, Uganda Since Independence: A Story of Unfulfilled Hopes, C. Hurst & Co. Publishers, 1992
Memoir
Andrew Rice, The Teeth May Smile But the Heart Does Not Forget: Murder and Memory in Uganda, Picador USA; first edition, 2010
Dolar Popat, A British Subject: How to Make It as an Immigrant in the Best Country in the World, Biteback Publishing, 2019
Jamie Govani, Life Is a Lesson: Never Give Up Hope, AuthorHouse, 2012
Nergesh Tejani, M.D., I Hear a Song in My Head: A Memoir in Stories of Love, Fear, Doctoring, and Flight, SCARITH/New Academia Publishing, 2012
Robeson Bennazoo Otim Engur, Survival: A Soldier’s Story, AuthorHouse, 2013
Yasmin Alibhai-Brown, No Place Like Home, Virago Press Ltd, 1995
Fiction
Shenaaz G. Nanji, Child of Dandelions, Second Story Press, 2008
Tasneem Jamal, Where the Air is Sweet, HarperCollins Publishers, 2014
Journals
Anneeth Kaur Hundle, ‘Exceptions to the expulsion: violence, security and community among Ugandan Asians, 1972–79’, Journal of Eastern African Studies, Vol. 7, No. 1, 2013, pp. 164–182
Becky Taylor, ‘Good Citizens? Ugandan Asians, Volunteers and “Race” Relations in 1970s Britain’, History Workshop Journal, Vol. 85, 2018, pp. 120–141
Carol Summers and Ahmad Alawad Sikainga, ‘Ugandan Politics and World War II (1939–1949)’, pp. 480–98, Africa and World War II, edited by Judith A. Byfield, Carolyn A. Brown and Timothy Parsons, Cambridge University Press, 2015
Edgar Curtis Taylor, ‘Asians and Africans in Ugandan Urban Life, 1959–1972’, 2016, available at deepblue.lib.umich.edu
Frances M. Dahlberg, ‘The Asian Community with Special Reference to Lira (Uganda)’, Neue Folge / New Series, Vol. 26, No. 1, 1976, pp. 29-42
Frank Wooldridge and Vishnu D. Sharma, ‘International Law and the Expulsion of Ugandan Asians’, The International Lawyer, Vol. 9, No. 1, 1975, pp. 30–76
Hasu H. Patel, ‘General Amin and the Indian Exodus from Uganda’, A Journal of Opinion, Vol. 2, No. 4, 1972, pp. 12–22
H. S. Morris, ‘The Indian Family in Uganda’, American Anthropologist, Vol. 61, No. 5, 1959, pp. 779–789
Jack D. Parson, ‘Africanizing Trade in Uganda: The Final Solution’, Africa Today, Vol. 20, No. 1, 1973, pp. 59–72
John L. Bonee III, ‘Caesar Augustus and the Flight of the Asians – The International Legal Implications of the Asian Expulsion From Uganda During 1972’, The International Lawyer, Vol. 8, No. 1, 1974, pp. 136–159
K. C. Kotecha, ‘The Shortchanged: Uganda Citizenship Laws and How They Were Applied to Its Asian Minority’, The International Lawyer, Vol. 9, No. 1, 1975, pp. 1–29
Shezan Muhammedi, ‘“Gifts From Amin”: The Resettlement, Integration, and Identities of Ugandan Asian Refugees in Canada’, 2017, available at ir.lib.uwo.ca
Thomas Fuller, ‘African Labor and Training in the Uganda Colonial Economy’, The International Journal of African Historical Studies, Vol. 10, No. 1, 1977, pp. 77–95
Vali Jamal, ‘Asians in Uganda, 1880–1972: Inequality and Expulsion’, The Economic History Review, Vol. 29, No. 4, 1976, pp. 602–616
William Monteith, ‘Heart and Struggle: Life in Nakasero Market 1912–2015’, 2016, available at uea.ac.uk
Archives
Ugandan Argus and other archival material, as well as contemporary transcripts, available at asc.library.carleton.ca/exhibits/uganda-collection
Institute of Current World Affairs, The Late Kabaka and First President of Uganda GJ-12 May 15, 1971, available at icwa.org
Other Resources
asiansfromuganda.org.uk
Contemporaneous and recent press reports can be found in the following publications: Daily Monitor, Daily Nation, The Economist, Forbes, Guardian, Independent, LA Times, New Vision, The New York Times, Telegraph, The Times; broadcasters: BBC, CNN, Channel 4, PBS; and websites: observer.ug and YouTube.
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First published by #Merky Books in 2021
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ISBN: 978-1-529-11909-1
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sa Zayyan, We Are All Birds of Uganda