“Okay, Leah, calm down, so you slept with him, it’s okay, it’s over. I mean you didn’t want to take it any further, right?”
I didn’t answer her right away, all I could think about was the fact that I had wanted it to go further—much, much further. “What’s wrong?” Her words in my ear pulled me back to the conversation at hand.
“His words were ‘I’m okay with a fling, but nothing more, need I remind you that we are practically related.’ Then tonight he invites me back to the hotel again.” I couldn’t help the tears that ran down my face. I was an absolute mess.
“Seriously, Leah, what a jerk. Please, don’t go. Just put it behind you. You move in less than forty-eight hours. Even if you both wanted to, you wouldn’t be able to get into a relationship with him now.”
“Yes, I am leaving, but I’m moving to the same city he is living in, did you forget?”
“Does he know that?”
“No.”
“Then keep it that way, protect yourself, girl. Don’t go there tonight, let him stew in his own gravy for once. Stop letting him win. You’ve been giving into him since he and his mother came to live with you guys.”
“What do you mean?”
“Look, for years he picked on you, even when he hurt you, you were always nice to him. After he moved, you wrote to him, practically begging him to write back, call or come home. I know that’s why you always mailed him those letters. He’s had you where he wanted you forever, right within arm’s reach but never really touching you. The one time you don’t send a letter, the one time you don’t write, is the one time he comes back home. Coincidence, I think not. Let him chase you for a while, let him know what it’s like to be on the receiving end of his own shit. Maybe then he won’t be so quick to play these fucking games with you. Stepbrother or not.”
I really listened to what she had to say. She was right, he had done exactly what she had said he did, and what she said about me was true as well. I couldn’t see it until now. “Did you want me to call you tonight once I am home? We can have a Skype party; I’ll just tell Jim we moved our girl’s day.”
“No, it’s okay, it’s been a long day. I’m going to drink my tea and go to bed.”
“Promise me you won’t go to him?”
“I promise,” I said reluctantly. “If I even think about it, I give you permission to kick my ass before I leave.”
“That’s my girl.” I hung up the phone, sat back in my dad’s chair and closed my eyes.
I thought back to that first kiss we had shared those many years ago. That was the kiss that had sparked it all. I knew I liked him from the moment I laid eyes on him that day in the hallway at school, and after that kiss, those feelings had intensified.
With him being so far away, I guess crushing on him felt safer, but with Logan back home, I let weakness win. I couldn’t do a fling; I had done plenty of those over the years. Once I was settled in my new career and a new home, I knew I would eventually find everything I was looking for. However, I secretly wished that Logan and I weren’t related and that our parents weren’t married, because I knew deep down that with him, we could have exactly what our own parents had taken years to find.
SEVENTEEN
Logan
All the way back to the hotel, I prayed she would come to me. I’d had a taste of her, a taste of that sweet skin, those beautiful lips, her sexy body and I wanted more. Fuck, I wanted more, and I hadn’t been able to stop thinking about the other night the whole time I was watching her today. Truth be told, I made a mistake by telling her that there couldn’t be anything more between us and I felt like kicking myself in the ass. What happened between us had freaked me the fuck out. I hadn’t expected to feel the way I did.
Back in my room, I turned the shower on and let the bathroom steam up. The only thing on my mind was her. I quickly showered and shaved and laid on the bed. I turned the TV on quickly finding something to watch. As I laid there mindlessly watching some crappy TV show, I thought back to her letters. I read them every chance I got, but I didn’t have the guts to tell her that, or that I had kept them.
I heard a car door slam outside my window and jumped up to see if it was her. Sadly, it wasn’t, and instead I watched a big burly man pull a suitcase from the trunk of his car. I needed to have her one more time before I had to return to Boston. Just once, and then I could void her from my system.
I grabbed my cell phone checking for messages, but nothing had come in. It was only nine o’clock, why wasn’t she here? There was no way she was still cleaning up. I grabbed the room service menu and ordered a plate of chocolate-covered strawberries. She would love them, her two favorite foods combined into one. How did I know that? Because I fucking remembered. I remembered the cute little birthmark she had on the inside of her right thigh too.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” I asked my reflection in the mirror. I feared she was not only in my head, but over the years she had worked her way into my heart. It was the little things, the way she touched me, the way she sucked on her bottom lip as I pumped into her and the way her eyes danced as she looked at me after it was over. She smelled and tasted so good she drove me near wild. “Where the fuck are you?” I said out loud, throwing my phone onto the bed.
I paced back and forth, finally stopping when room service knocked on the door. They placed the tray of strawberries on the little table and left. I stood looking at them then grabbed my phone and sent her a text message. I waited, staring at the screen. “Please, Leah, answer me.”
However, that message went unanswered. Another hour passed, the strawberries I had delivered sat on the table, getting warm. They didn’t appear to be as appetizing as I had first believed they would because I had hoped to be eating them off forbidden places on her body.
At two in the morning, I sent through one final text before I crashed into the mattress and fell into a deep sleep. I would see her tomorrow at brunch, there was no way she was getting away from me then.
EIGHTEEN
Leah
I put the final touches on my makeup and then smoothed the wrinkles from my dress. I had deleted his messages as they had come in. He could beg me all he wanted. After my talk with Jenna, I knew it was time to take back my self respect. I hadn’t slept last night, and it showed. I covered the dark bags under my eyes the best I could.
I placed the last few remaining items I still hadn’t packed into my bag and zipped it shut. Dad had taken my luggage to the car while I grabbed my ticket and shoved it into my purse. In a matter of a couple hours, I would be on my way to Boston to start my new life.
“Leah, you’re sure that is everything?” Dad asked as he walked into my room.
“Just this bag, Dad. That’s it, my entire life packed up into a few bags.” I smiled. It was a totally fake smile, I was sad I was leaving, but at the same time, I was so excited for what the future held. I needed to hold myself together for the brunch and once I was at the airport it would be over.
Dad wrapped me in his arms and pulled me against him. “You’ve made me so proud. I am so excited for you.” I hugged him tight until I felt that familiar lump in my throat, I had been feeling it all night.
I pulled away as I heard Anna call from the bottom of the stairs, “We need to get going, I told Logan to meet us at the restaurant in half an hour.”
Dad grabbed my bag from the bed and headed out the door. “I’ll be right down,” I called after him. I just wanted to take a couple minutes alone.
The last name I had wanted to hear was Logan’s. I sat down and just took in my room. All the memories it held. I contemplated writing a little note to Logan, to say goodbye, but decided against it. So I grabbed my purse and made my way down the stairs.
My phone rang on the way to the restaurant, Jenna’s name flashed on the screen. I figured she would call today. Any good friend would call and check in. I was glad that I wanted to drive my car one last time before I sold it, so I was alone in the car. “Hello,” I answere
d, my voice lacking enthusiasm.
“You all ready for your big move?” she asked trying to be excited.
“Yep, everything is packed and ready, my flight leaves at three.”
“You’re sure he isn’t on the same flight, right?”
“Yep, Anna told me his flight leaves around eleven tonight. So, he won’t even be at the airport at the same time. He’ll probably bum dinner off my dad and Anna and then be on his way. By that time, I will be in my new apartment and on my way to a new life.”
“All right, you sure you will be okay facing him this morning. I am booked in meetings all day, so I won’t be readily available until after work.”
“Yep, it will be fine. I’ve put my game face on. I’ll be better once I am on that plane. I promise to call you once I am settled.”
“Sounds good, you better come and visit soon, you won’t be living far from me.”
“I’ll try. We’ll Skype.”
“Of course, take care, nut.” I smiled. She had called me that ever since we met.
“You too. I love you.”
“Don’t go getting all sentimental on me. Talk to you soon, safe flight and whatever you do, don’t let him get inside your head . . . or your pants.”
I laughed, but she had already hung up the phone. I turned the radio up and continued driving, almost passing by the parking lot of the restaurant. As I pulled in, I caught a glimpse of Logan entering the restaurant. He looked good, dressed in blue jeans and a black button-down shirt. I pulled into the first available parking space I saw and shut the engine off. I leaned back against the seat and took a deep breath. I wasn’t in the mood for his games today, so he better not try anything.
I walked into the restaurant noticing my father and Anna already seated at the table with Logan. I smiled at the hostess and pointed to the table where everyone was sitting. “Sorry I’m late, Jenna called.”
“That’s okay, Leah, how is Jenna?” Anna asked, taking a sip of her tea.
“She is good.” I reluctantly looked at the empty seat available between my father and Logan and debated asking my dad to move over so I could sit between him and Anna.
“Take a seat, Leah.” I grabbed the back of the chair and went to pull it out, but Logan jumped to his feet and quickly pulled the chair out for me. Anna and Dad looked to one another surprised at his behaviour. I looked at Logan and scowled before I sat down.
“I already ordered for you. I got your favorite,” Dad said as he rubbed my hand. “I also got you orange juice and a coffee.”
“Thank you,” I said tucking my purse at my feet. We listened as Anna resumed telling the story she had been in the middle of when I arrived.
The waiter finally brought out our food and placed the plates down in front of us. “Are you not speaking to me again?” Logan whispered in my ear.
“Good morning. Sleep well?” I smugly smiled back.
“Not really, but then I think you may know why.”
“Leah, Logan, I want to say something,” my father said grabbing Anna’s hand.
We both looked to my father as if we had been caught with our hands in the candy jar. “Yes, go ahead, sir,” Logan said grabbing his fork.
“We want to say how proud we are of you both. You were together under the same roof yesterday for the entire day and you didn’t kill one another. It’s a far cry from before.”
“People change once they grow up and see the person for who they really are,” I answered, grabbing my fork and digging into my blueberry waffles.
Logan looked at me and frowned. He glanced around the table to make sure no one was looking our way. “Really?” he mouthed. Everyone was busy digging into their food, so I smugly smiled at him, nodded, and shoved a forkful of food into my mouth.
I had made it all the way through breakfast with lots of eye-rolling and nasty comments. I couldn’t help it, but every time he opened his mouth I wanted to hit him. I glanced at my watch, keeping track of the time as Dad took care of the bill and we waited for Anna to return from the ladies’ room. I lifted my jacket from the back of my seat and went to put it on, but Logan grabbed it from my hands and opened the jacket for me to step into it. “Keep this up and they will wonder what is going on between us, Logan,” I whispered to him.
He stood there looking at me, I could tell I was getting to him. I made the excuse of needing to use the ladies’ room as everyone was leaving the restaurant so I could get away from him.
I’d asked Anna and Dad to meet me at the airport. I told them I wouldn’t be far behind and watched as all three of them left. I ducked into the bathroom, quickly washed my hands and checked my makeup. Once I was sure they would all be gone, I made my way out the door. I was almost across the parking lot when I heard my name called from behind me. I didn’t need to turn around, I already knew who belonged to that voice. “What do you want, Logan?” I huffed.
“Please, you’ve given me the cold shoulder long enough.”
“I really don’t think I have, to be honest.” I stopped walking and turned around when I reached my car, sitting my purse on the hood. “What is it, Logan? I don’t have a lot of time.” I glanced at my watch; it was close to one.
“What do you mean you don’t have time, I want to talk,” he said stopping before me.
“Exactly what I said. I have a flight to catch, I can’t be late.”
“Yeah, about that, where are you going?” he asked looking down into my eyes.
I couldn’t look at him, I knew I would end up buckling and telling him everything so instead I looked to the ground. “All you need to know is that I am leaving, you don’t need to know where I am going.”
“Please, Leah, just tell me.”
“I have a new job, it’s a new opportunity for me, a new beginning. This is a good thing for me. That’s it, that’s all you need to know.” I stepped forward, took a deep breath and for whatever reason I placed a long lingering kiss goodbye on his lips. I felt his hands on my upper arms gripping me tightly as I pulled away. “I’ll never forget what we shared, Logan. But for now, please do as I ask and leave me alone, let me get over you.”
“What if I don’t want you to get over me?” he questioned, speaking in a low sexy voice beside my ear.
“You should have thought about that before. I have to go.”
I pulled out of his grip, grabbed my purse, climbed into my car and shut the door. I wasted no time as I put my key in the ignition, started the engine, and pulled out of my spot, driving away without looking back at him.
NINETEEN
Logan
Three months later
Three months, I had been back in Boston and not a single day had gone by that I hadn’t thought of her. I could still see her face clear as day as she had looked up at me when she said goodbye, tears in her eyes. I dreamt of her every night and I could barely make it through a day without thinking of her or seeing something that reminded me of her. It was only getting worse as time passed, and once again at twenty-eight, Leah became the fantasy of my every masturbatory thought.
“Logan, Logan! Have you even heard a word I said? I’m waiting for an answer.”
I blinked and looked at Jean as she stood in front of me. “I’m sorry, what?”
“You need to hire an interior designer for this house, Logan. It’s stunning, but for me to feature it in the magazine, it needs to be decorated right.”
My first thought was to hire Leah, if only she would answer the messages I had sent her. She would be perfect for this job.
“So, Logan? Who are you going to hire?” she asked marking down something on the notepad she had been carrying.
“Who do you work with that you would recommend?”
“A man in your position asking for a recommendation for interior designers? Surely you must know someone?”
“Look, I design the houses. Most of the time I don’t even see it past the plans on paper.” I shrugged looking around my new living room. I knew many designers, too many, most of
them I had fallen into bed with after a drunken night of partying and ruined any sort of relationship. I wasn’t going down that road again.
She let out a large sigh and wrote something else on her notepad. “All right, well, since you work for Jim and he is the one who wanted me to do the spread in the magazine on your home, I suggest that you contact Preston Interior Design here in Boston. They’ve recently hired a new designer. I have seen some of her work. She is fantastic, and exactly what I think you need here. She did work recently for the Boston Harbor Hotel and did an outstanding job.” She pulled her phone from her pocket and shared with me some shots she had taken of the newly designed rooms. “I think if you call and tell Mary what you’re looking for, she will put you in touch with her.”
She pulled a card from her booklet and handed it to me. I looked down at it and shoved it into my pocket. “Call me once you are ready and I will get back here and do the spread. Jim is excited for you, he says you are the best architect in the firm right now and me doing this article on you will not only bring a lot of business to the firm, but I think it will catapult your career. People want different, and this is what they are looking for.”
I smiled at her, took her card she had given me from my pocket and scribbled the name of the firm down on the back of it so I wouldn’t forget. “I’ll call first thing tomorrow.”
“Let them know I referred you, it will save you the consult fee if not a little more. Call me as soon as you are ready.”
I watched as she walked down the front walkway, her red hair swaying back and forth across her back, just as Leah’s did. I shut the door to my new home and turned to look around. She was right about the house needing decor. I moved from a bachelor pad into a four-bedroom, open concept home. I could design them but decorating a house was a different story, I needed a professional.
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