He searched everywhere, but there was no sign of it at all. The next day, he went, thinking that with the light, he would have better luck finding it, but there was nothing there at all. He thought this was very strange and then it was explained to him that the large flat stone at the top of the field was part of a fairy fort, so there must have been a fairy path running through his field. All of his ploughing had broken up the path and the fairies would have been very annoyed about this. So taking his pipe was a small sign of their annoyance. Luckily for Johnny, he was a good and a kind man, so the fairies went easy on him and about two years afterwards he found his pipe on top of the flat stone, exactly where he had left it. There was even a bit of tobacco in it too.
JOHNNY MCKENNA AND THE KING OF THE FAIRIES
Tydavnet, Co. Monaghan, was always well known for its ‘dealin’ men’ or ‘wide boys’ – in other words, men that knew how to buy and sell everything from cattle, sheep and horses and always get a good price.
Now, Johnny McKenna was one of these dealin’ men. He was one of the best and he claimed only ever to work with the best of stock and breed. But he would also know how to dabble with lesser stock to cater for the less affluent clients, for a sale was a sale after all and Johnny would travel to all the fairs and marts in Monaghan and the surrounding counties to get what he was looking for.
Well, it so happened that the parish priest was looking for a new pony as this was a long time ago, before we had motor cars or buses and maybe even trains. So when Johnny heard about this, he wasted no time at all – he set out on foot for the Fintona fair in Co. Tyrone.
When the bould Johnny got to the fair in Fintona, all the good stock had gone and there was nothing that caught his eye, so he decided to cut his losses and head away for home again. On the way back, he met a wee man who told him of a great shortcut over the mountain. Now, anyone who knows anything about wee men and shortcuts will tell you to avoid such advice and to stick to the road that you know yourself.
The wee man told him that if he took this shortcut, it would save him 8 or 9 miles on his journey. Now, anyone who knows anything about walking long distances will agree that this is a massive saving indeed. Well, he decided to take the shortcut and it was not long before he found himself lost. There he was, gone astray over the mountain, not knowing if he was coming or going.
Well now, poor Johnny must have been wandering along the lonely, dark and winding mountain roads for over half the night when all of a sudden he saw a light in the distance. He was relieved to see this beacon of hope and he wasted no time making his way towards it.
As he got closer to the light, he realised that it was coming from a wee cottage, thatched with heather and no more than about 4 feet high. It was a strange-looking little building, but Johnny was glad to be outside of it and not wandering aimlessly around the mountain. Johnny knocked on the wee half-door and an old woman answered by opening the door and poking her wizened face out at him.
‘Who are ye?’ asked the old woman in a shrill voice.
Johnny answered by stating, ‘I am a poor man who is off his path.’
‘Come in,’ says the auld one.
Well, Johnny stooped down and nearly had to crawl into the house. He got the fright of his life for right before him, lying on the floor of the old shack, was a dead sheep. Now, Johnny gasped and let out a bit of a shout.
‘Hould your whist and speak easy!’ growled the old woman, then she looked at him and went on to explain her anxiety. ‘I am afraid that the men will hear and they might come in. They are a bad lot and the work they do I don’t like it one bit: they are stealing sheep and killing them!’ She then pointed towards the back of the house and said, ‘Now, go down to the room there. There’s a bed there where you can rest yourself.’
Well, poor Johnny made his way down the hall to the room and he was bewildered at how big the house was inside for outside it was nothing more than a tiny hovel. Johnny opened the door to the room and was surprised to find that he was in a fine big room with a very large and comfortable bed in it. He lay down and rested his weary bones on the soft feathered mattress.
Now, he was not long in the bed when he heard a loud knock on the front door. He sat up and heard the old woman say, ‘Speak easy, for there is a man down in the room and he is trying to get a bit of rest.’
Johnny was terrified for he knew she was talking to the terrible sheep-stealers. He knew such men would not be happy to think that there was a stranger in the house who knew of their dealings and he knew that they would make sure he would not tell anyone of their existence.
Well, Johnny’s fears were confirmed for he heard a gruff male voice replying, ‘He won’t be long in it!’
Johnny heard the man sharpening a knife, so he jumped up out of the bed and jumped out an open window. He was only out the window when three men came down to the room. When they saw him outside, they dived out the window like wild dogs after him. As he ran for his life, Johnny eventually came to a big river and got in under the banks. When the men reached the river they searched up and down, poking the riverbanks with knives and sticks and whooping and howling like wolves.
Then Johnny heard one of them say, ‘Hey, didn’t I tell you, the thief is away with the flood.’
Johnny stayed under the riverbank for over two long hours until there came a wee man about 2 feet high. He stood on the opposite bank, looked at Johnny with great puzzlement and called out, ‘Well now, what happened you?’
‘I have been out all night and and what a terrible night it has been – I was nearly murdered!’ Johnny cried out.
Then the moonlight shone on the river, revealing a footstick, which is a makeshift bridge consisting of a log thrown across the river. The wee man crossed the footstick to where Johnny was and took him back over to his side. He asked Johnny if he was hungry and Johnny replied that he was starving, so the wee man produced a loaf of wheaten bread and a jug of fresh buttermilk. Johnny was very grateful and consumed them with great haste and appreciation. The food made him feel powerful, giving him the strength of two men.
The wee man then produced a whistle, which he blew with great ferocity. As soon as he did, two magnificent horses (the likes of which Johnny had never seen in all his years as a ‘dealin’ man’), wearing fine saddles and bridles, appeared out of nowhere. The wee man mounted one of these beasts and then he told Johnny to get on the other, which he did.
‘Watch yourself now!’ says the wee man. ‘For we have very rough and dangerous roads before us.’
Well, the horses galloped like the wind for a couple of hours until Johnny found himself in the Bog of Allen. The atmosphere was strange and haunting. Although he knew that the horses were walking on the soft peat of the bog, their hooves clattered as though they were trotting along on a hard and stony road and above his head flew flocks of wild geese in their thousands – the sky was black with them, like swarms of giant midges.
It seemed like they were trotting and galloping through the haunted bog for an awful long time before they eventually came out of it and Johnny saw before him a mighty plain covered in thick snow. But before he had a chance to admire this beautiful sight, he found himself galloping across a wide and magnificent lough. The horses galloped across it as if it were a broad highway. After they had crossed the lough, they soon reached a dark and mysterious underground tunnel. They entered the tunnel, which was like entering the mouth of a giant worm – it twisted and turned deep down into the earth. They were in total darkness the whole time. They trotted along in silence for a very long time indeed, until they saw a great light in the distance.
Now, Johnny and the wee man arrived at a great gated entrance adorned with burning lamps. The gates were huge and made from a dark wood decorated with magnificent carvings. The gates opened before them and the two men trotted inside. They were greeted by two rows of over a million men, all about 2 feet tall and dressed in the richest of finery. These strange men took them into the grandest hall that Johnny had ever se
en. It was as if someone had put a roof on the world and decorated it with all the jewels of nature. In this magical hall, there were tables covered with every sort of food and drink you could imagine and more besides.
Johnny was treated like royalty. He was told to take a seat, make himself comfortable and eat and drink as much as he liked. He was also told to take his time and to enjoy the feast, ‘For the man who made time, made plenty of it!’
Forty fiddlers appeared out of nowhere and started playing mighty jigs and reels. There was wild dancing and singing in the great hall. Then the wee man whom he had travelled with put up his hand and all the dancing and music stopped right then and there.
The wee man pointed at poor Johnny, who was quite caught off guard as only a second ago he had been dancing and singing to his heart’s content.
The wee man then shouted in al oud and shrill voice, ‘Look now! There is the man who needs to take a rest!’
With that, Johnny was taken away by a group of wee men, who were very strong, considering their small stature and size. He was taken to a lovely bedroom, which was a great relief to Johnny for he was sure he was going to be thrown into a dungeon or some class of deep, dark hole in the ground.
Well now, there was a fire burning in a big ornate fireplace in this room. The fuel for the fire was neither turf, wood nor coal – Johnny could not tell what it was at all, but there was a mighty heat from it that warmed the whole house like toast and as soon as Johnny hit the bed, he was fast asleep like a wee baby.
When Johnny awoke, daylight was streaming in like rays of a rainbow through the beautiful stained-glass windows that adorned the great walls of the magnificent room. He sat up in the giant four-poster bed and saw before him a huge wooden table laden with fabulous food and drink of every sort and kind. He got himself dressed and was about to sit down to his majestic breakfast when the great door of his room opened and the wee man arrived in, all smiles.
He said to Johnny, ‘You will not get away until you have seen all about this place.’
So after Johnny had eaten and drank his fill, the wee man took him on a grand tour. It looked like a palace and covered as much as two, if not three, acres of land. Johnny had never seen the likes of it in all his days. It was truly breathtaking and beautiful beyond description.
Well, it was time for Johnny to go home and he thanked his wee friend ever so much for his kindness, hospitality and for saving him from the terrible sheep-stealers. He wanted to show his gratitude by offering the wee man whatever money he had, but the wee man had no interest in such things as money and he said to Johnny, ‘If you stand in need of anything, I will give you what will keep you comfortable all your life.’
Johnny said that this was far too much and that he felt indebted to the wee man, but the wee man waved his hand at Johnny and went away for a bit and then returned with a bag full of sovereigns and gave them to Johnny. He also gave Johnny a beautiful horse with a saddle and bridle and told him to mount the beast.
‘Don’t worry’ said the wee man. ‘This horse will leave you right at your destination.’
Johnny asked the wee man why he was so kind to him and the wee man replied, ‘’Tis a rare thing that your kind don’t help themselves to our gold without permission. You have proved yourself a trustworthy and decent fellow, Johnny McKenna.’
With that, the wee man patted the horse and it bolted off like a bullet. They flew across the land like the wind, clearing every ditch, hedge and bog hole like it was not there at all. The first place they came to was Shane Faddley’s carrick, where the horse rested for a wee bit and then they were off again. The horse then crossed through Derrkinighbeg and Johnny could see neither ditch nor hedge till he landed at the foot of his own garden.
When his feet touched the ground, the horse disappeared and he walked to his front door, both pleased and honoured to have befriended none other than the King of the Fairies!
THE SILVER DISH
This is an old fairy tale that was told many years ago to Francis McCarron by another Monaghan man, the late Peter McKenna of Annahagh – and there is a fair chance that the main character in the story was called Johnny McKenna.
There was once a man from Co. Monaghan called Johnny McKenna who built his house on a fairy path. Now, he was warned by family, friends and neighbours not to build on a fairy path, but sure, he knew better and went ahead and did it anyway.
Well, after he built his house, he and his wife moved in and all was well until at midnight of that first night, they heard a knock on the door. What was strange about this knock was the fact that it seemed to come from very low down on the door, as if it was a small child who was knocking. Now, if this was not enough, they heard the door open and then bang shut, followed by the sound of stomping feet on the floor. The sitting room door opened and banged shut and all would be silent after that until the following night, when it started all over again.
Johnny McKenna and his wife got no peace at all, for the same ritual took place every night at midnight until Johnny had had enough.
So one night, Johnny went down to the sitting room, hid behind a big chair and waited to see what would happen. Well now, midnight came and, sure enough, there was a knocking on the front door and then the door opened and shut and there was the sound of thudding footsteps in the hallway and then all of a sudden the sitting room door opened and slammed shut!
Johnny could not believe his eyes, for standing there in front of him was a wee man in a green jacket, with a red cap that had a big, white owl’s feather sticking out of it.
Johnny watched carefully to see what the wee man would do. He watched him walk over to the fireplace. The fire was dying down, but the smouldering embers still gave off a reddish glow. The man reached into his jacket and pulled out a wee silver dish.
Now the wee man held the silver dish up with one hand and he held the other hand right above it and he uttered these words: ‘Dip the finger, not the thumb!’ Then he pressed his forefinger into the middle of the dish and said, ‘High away off to Scotland!’ With that, he pressed his thumb into the centre of the dish and with a mighty whooosh!, the wee man disappeared up the chimney. Well, as you can imagine, Johnny could not believe his eyes. He was intrigued by all of this and wanted to find out more so he decided he would go down the following night to see what would happen.
Sure enough, the next night, Johnny went down to the sitting room and as soon as the clock struck midnight the front door opened and shut, there was the sound of loud footsteps and the sitting room door opened and in came the wee man, who slammed the door behind him again and went over to the fireplace. He reached into his jacket and pulled out the little dish. He held it with one hand and held the other hand right above it and uttered the same words, ‘Dip the finger, not the thumb!’ Then he pressed his forefinger into the middle of the dish and again he said, ‘High away off to Scotland!’ With that, he pressed his thumb into the centre of the dish and, with a mighty whooosh!, the wee man disappeared up the chimney.
At this stage Johnny was really curious and anyone who knows anything about stories will tell you that a lot things come in threes, so on the third night, Johnny decided to intervene and this is what happened …
Johnny went down to the sitting room and he moved his chair as close to the fireplace as possible before hiding behind it. As ever, the clock struck midnight and the whole procedure took place again with the wee man, who went to the fireplace and produced the silver dish. He held it with one hand, held the other hand right above it and uttered the same words, ‘Dip the finger, not the thumb!’
But before he had a chance to utter another word or to put his thumb on the plate, out jumped Johnny from behind the chair. He grabbed the wee man. The fairy man disappeared in a flash and was ‘gone’!
But what had he dropped on the ground? Only the little silver dish, so Johnny picked it up and looked at it for a bit. He tried to remember what the wee fairy man had done.
‘Dip the finger, not the thumb!’
he said, then he pressed his forefinger into the middle of the dish, but nothing happened. He tried again. ‘Dip the finger, not the thumb!’, he said, then he pressed his forefinger into the middle of the dish and said, ‘High away off to Scotland!’, but again nothing happened.
Now, Johnny was getting frustrated at this point and he thought very hard about what the fairy man had said, but then he remembered what the fairy man had done and he tried it once more.
So he said, ‘Dip the finger, not the thumb!’, then he pressed his forefinger into the middle of the dish and said, ‘High away off to Scotland!’ And with that, he remembered to dip his thumb into the centre of the dish and, with a mighty whooosh!, he went flying up the chimney. He went up and up into the sky and when he looked down, he saw his wee house like a speck below him. Then he started to move forward through the clouds and when he looked down, he saw farmlands, villages, towns, hills, mountains and lakes speeding by below him. Eventually, he found himself flying over cliffs and above the sea and he knew then that he was leaving the Emerald Isle behind him.
The sea was raging below him and he saw ships and sailing boats sailing along as sea birds raced around him. At last he came across more cliffs and he found himself flying over land again. He looked down below and saw lights and what looked like a big city. He felt himself starting to descend from the sky. He went down bit by bit until he found himself inside a brewery in Scotland. It was just after midnight and the whole place was locked up and there was no way out at all.
Monaghan Folk Tales Page 14