Ryder got to work on washing her hair, then moved on to her body. Sudsy hands skated over every inch of her flesh. He took care of her in a way no man ever had before. He worshipped her shoulders, her arms, her back and her stomach, paying special attention to her scar.
His touch paralyzed her. Reciting her mantra in her head, she willed herself to relax.
Be thankful.
Be mindful.
Be kind.
It was difficult, standing there while his fingers explored her greatest sin, but she didn’t push him away. She was done pretending she didn’t care.
“There she is,” he said, the words a prayer on his tongue. His fingers tangled into her wet hair and his mouth crashed against hers.
His lips were everything she never knew she needed. Gentle, firm, consuming. She clung to him, molding her body to his. They kissed under the shower until the water ran cold and her teeth chattered.
“Come on, Kitty Cat, time to get out.” Ryder lifted her out of the tub, setting her feet on the old towel thrown across the floor. He wrapped the pink towel around her body, kissed her nose, her lips, then gathered their stuff, and led her back to his room.
“Thank you,” she muttered as they went.
“For what?” he asked, locking them behind his door once more.
“Not hating me.” She never really appreciated the calm vibes his space created until then. It was comforting, although she knew whatever came next would be hard.
“I could never hate you.”
“You should though.”
“Why? Did you fuck that guy?” He exhaled the words in a rush. There was bitterness there, like tea that had been left to steep too long. They hurt—his words—but she couldn’t say she didn’t deserve them.
“No,” Jamie shook her head vehemently. Water flew from the tips of her hair with each swing of her neck. “I would have though. I thought you didn’t want me, and I just needed to forget you.” She couldn’t look him in the eyes. The reality of her existence was gut-wrenching. She was more willing to give her body to a stranger than she was to give her heart to the man it belonged to.
“I know this relationship shit is new to you, so let me just make this clear. If we ever break up, you will know. Until that happens just assume you’re mine.”
“I can do that.” She shivered. His. She could be his, she wanted that, she craved it.
“Who was that guy, anyway?” Ryder threw over his shoulder as he got to work digging through his drawers for clothes. He tossed her a pair of his boxers before slipping on a pair himself.
“He’s one of my dad’s business partners,” she explained. “He came to our house for Easter.”
Ryder turned, glaring at her. His legs ate the distance between them and in an instant, he was on her, his face inches from hers. He radiated heat. ”You’ve been talking to that motherfucker since Easter?”
“No!” Jamie exclaimed, running her fingers through his damp blond hair. Her touch soothed him a little, but there was only one way for them to move past this. She needed to put herself out there, full disclosure. “Yes, he came over for Easter, but I was late. I spent the morning lying in bed talking to you,” she reminded him.
“Then when I got there and saw him sitting at the table, I regretted even making the drive to my parents’ house. I just wanted to be with you, so I left and went to your mom’s house.” Jamie lifted on the tips of her toes and pressed a soft kiss to his bottom lip. “I didn’t see, or hear, or even think of him again until this afternoon when he called me. I agreed to have dinner with him because I’d been pining over you for the last two days and I thought you hated me.”
“Why would your dad’s business partner think it was okay to take you to dinner?” Ryder asked, walking her backwards to the bed. “Wouldn’t your dad be pissed, or was it like a two birds, one stone type of thing? Piss me and Daddy off at the same time?”
Jamie deserved that too.
“I wasn’t trying to piss you off, and my dad would be elated. The entire reason he was invited over for Easter was so he could meet me.”
“And you didn’t think of mentioning it until now?” he grumbled, pushing her onto the bed. She fell back with a bounce. Ryder crawled up her body, settling between her legs.
“It wasn’t a big deal. It happens,” Jamie explained more to his mouth than to his eyes.
“How often?”
Full disclosure, she reminded herself. It was that messy bitch karma again, she pushed him about his dad, now he was pushing her about Archer. “Let’s just say it’s not the first time I’ve had to entertain business partners or their children.”
“Entertain?”
“Like a sweetener,” she shifted under him as a million questions played out on his features. He didn’t come from the same world she came from. He didn’t understand how these things worked.
“What’s a sweetener?”
“An incentive,” her voice was barely above a whisper. She didn’t know why this was so hard to talk about. This was normal. Just another part of her life.
“But what do you have to offer these rich assholes?”
It was a loaded question, one that had her gnawing on her finger. Ryder stared at her, his hazel’s penetrated her green in that way they did when he looked inside of her and pulled the truth out. ”My wit and charm,” she quipped.
Ryder stared at her, eyes unblinking. She could hear the sound of the door opening and closing downstairs. Sirens blared in the distance. Her heart beat erratically in her chest. If he didn’t say something soon she was going to lose it.
“Are you fucking kidding me, James?”
“Why are you making this such a big deal?” she huffed, pushing him off her. The weight of his body was stifling. “That’s how deals are made. It’s the part no one likes to talk about, but it’s not uncommon.”
“You’re his fucking daughter, not a whore, or stripper, or sugar baby.”
Jamie rose to her feet. How could she make him understand it wasn’t like that? Her dad was awful, but he loved her, deep down… right? “It’s not about sex. Sometimes they need someone to go to events with them and stuff and I come from pedigree. I’m not some random unknown. These are important men. They can’t just show up with anyone,” she rambled, pacing the length of his room. This wasn’t how this was supposed to go. She was supposed to be apologizing and begging for his forgiveness, and somehow, she ended up talking about this shit.
“But you have had sex with these men.” Ryder wasn’t letting it go. Why couldn’t he let it go?
Jamie stopped pacing, and glared at him. “It’s not like my dad says, go give this a guy a blow job.”
“He might as well.”
That stung. She wasn’t his whore. She was his daughter. She was playing her part. “You just don’t understand.” She put her palms on the dresser, silently chanting her mantra.
Be thankful.
Be mindful.
Be kind.
She didn’t know when Ryder got off the bed, but she felt his presence at her back before she heard his words. “How long?” he asked.
She didn’t answer. Her mind was going a hundred miles a minute.
This was normal.
This was how things worked.
“James, tell me how long your dad has been pimping you out to the highest bidder?”
“Fuck you, Ryder,” she scoffed. “I don’t need this shit. I’m done sharing.”
“Kitty Cat,” he said pulling her back to his front, “tell me how long.”
“I don’t know.”
“Bullshit. Talk to me.”
Her eyes burned with unshed tears. Her first reaction was to push him away, shut down, self-destruct, but last time she did that, she nearly lost him. “I was sixteen the first time.”
“Jesus, Jamie,” Ryder exhaled as his strong, tattooed arms enveloped her. His hold was solid, unyielding. Ryder was her anchor. He kept her from floating away. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t
. It wasn’t like that,” Jamie insisted for what felt like the tenth time. “I went to prom with some guy’s loser kid. I told you it isn’t always sex or romance. Once, I had to let this girl hang out with me and my friends for a while, shopping and football games, that kind of stuff. They’d just moved to Seattle and she didn’t have any friends.”
“That guy tonight didn’t want you to take him shopping, Kitty Cat.”
“I could have said no.” Jamie did her best to pull out of Ryder’s grasp, but his arms flexed possessively around her midsection.
“But you didn’t.”
“Because I wanted to forget you,” she whimpered, clawing at his forearms. She needed a minute.
“No, that’s not it,” he loosened his grip enough to turn her around in his arms, his eyes glistened with tears as he spoke. “You said yes because he conditioned you to say yes since you were sixteen years old.”
Jamie shook her head. “My dad isn’t perfect, but he wouldn’t—” Her voice trailed off. “He wouldn’t,” she cried, dropping her head into Ryder’s chest. Her body was sore from holding all the tension. “He wouldn’t,” her nails dug into his collarbone as she clung to him, the tears flowing freely. Unlike the cathartic ones from their shower, these were sour. “He wouldn’t, would he?” Her words were swallowed by sobs as Ryder lifted her off her feet and carried her to his bed.
The world was burning around her. The demons Jamie suppressed floated freely. Everyone could see.
“Hey, Kitty Cat,” Ryder whispered. “I gotta take a leak.” He shifted, gently rolling Jamie onto her back. Even with matted hair and a blotchy face, she was breathtaking.
“No,” she moaned, pulling him down on top of her. “You’re warm and I was comfortable.”
“Would you rather I piss on you?”
“It wouldn’t be the first time,” she muttered sleepily.
He chuckled at her teasing, but she had a point. He could be a possessive bastard. It never bothered him before, but with last night’s revelations, Ryder knew he needed to get a handle on that shit. Every man in Jamie’s life treated her like property and there he was doing the same thing. He’d practically dragged her back to his house, caveman style, and threw her into the shower. He’d even considered ripping that damn dress to shreds.
“I’m sorry I was an asshole,” he said, brushing her nose with his.
“I’m sorry I was a bitch.” Wrapping her legs around his waist, Jamie tilted her head back, her mouth finding Ryder’s. “And sorry for the morning breath.” Jamie’s kiss, unlike the woman herself, was timid. The way she brushed her lips against his, and the small, unsure strokes of her tongue made him happier than it should have.
Ryder was the only man to have this part of her, the only one to see her like this. That alone was enough to give him a semi hard-on.
Yeah, he needed to get a grip on the possessive shit, but first he had to pee. “As much as I love your morning breath, I’m about to piss myself.”
“Fine,” she groaned, untangling her legs from around his body, “if you must.”
Ryder hopped off the bed, feeling lighter than he had the last few days.
Life with Kitty Cat was never boring. In the short time they’d been together, he’d experienced the highest highs and the lowest lows. Her pieces were jagged, but together they would make magic. Jamie’d probably call that philosophical bullshit, and that only made him love her more.
Once he finished in the bathroom, Ryder ran downstairs to make coffee. Jamie would be leaving for work soon and as much as it sucked, he was going to have to tuck his dick between his legs and go see if he still had a job. The list of reasons to go find Jamie’s dad and beat his ass was getting longer and longer. Ryder grew up with a failing musician father who took his shortcomings out on his mother, but he had his mother. Jamie didn’t have anyone, and that killed him. She was good, and she deserved better than the shitty hand she was dealt.
Guilt speared in Ryder’s gut as he poured two mugs full of coffee. He was being a dick to his mom. He knew that, but he couldn’t help but feel betrayed. His dad was the enemy and it felt like his mom had switched teams. Ignoring that problem wasn’t going to make it go away, but Ryder could only deal with one thing at a time, and today his job took priority.
Grabbing the coffee, he headed back upstairs. Jamie’s muffled voice spilled out from the crack in the door. He felt like a perv for eavesdropping, but he couldn’t help himself.
“Daddy, why are you yelling? It’s seven in the morning, can’t this wait until after coffee? Calm down…he’s my boyfriend.”
Her boyfriend. Those words—on her lips—made him feel invincible.
“I will apologize to Jared, but I’m with Ryder…I’m not…no… this is my life, Daddy. It isn’t up for debate.” Her voice was devoid of emotion, she’d shed all the tears she was going to for her father last night, and Ryder would be goddamned if he ever let that cocksucker make her cry again.
Pushing through the door, he set the coffee on the night stand and took the phone from Jamie. “Go fuck yourself, Mr. Manning,” he barked, before ending the call. Hanging up on people was a lot more satisfying on his flip phone. He wanted to punch something, to break things. Ryder paced back and forth, willing himself to calm down. The urge to break every bone in that man’s body grew with each lap around his bedroom.
“Mr. Manning?” Jamie asked, an amused smirk stretched across her sleepy face. The corner of her lip twitched before she broke out into a full on laughing fit. She was laughing so hard she snorted, which caused her to laugh even harder.
Ryder stopped his pacing and looked at her. His girl was stretched out across his bed, wearing his clothes, but most importantly, she was happy. “It sounded better in my head,” he grinned.
He made it to the bed in three quick strides and fell on top of her, covering her with the weight of his body.
The old mattress whined in protest. “You’re going to break this piece of shit,” Jamie giggled.
“Then let’s have fun doing it,” he suggested, pressing his mouth to hers. The feel of her soft, pouty lips could make a grown man cry. How the fuck did he last so long without kissing her? Ryder licked his way into her mouth with long, slow strokes. “I love you,” he murmured, “morning breath and all.”
Jamie’s eyelids fluttered shut. Long lashes tickled the tops of her cheeks as she pulled his head into her neck. “I’d like nothing more than to break this damn thing with you, but I’ve got to go to work.”
“I’m not stopping you,” he said, swiveling his pelvis into her. His dick was so hard it was probably stabbing her in the stomach. Jamie sighed contently as he bit into her neck. Ryder sucked on the skin until it turned a satisfying shade of pink, then worked his way down, kissing and licking and biting her collarbone. His hands slid up her soft skin, his fingers lingering at the raised scar before they made their way up her body, finding a home on her perky little tit.
Arching into him Jamie moaned, “You’re not making it easy either.”
He kept up his assault on her breast, pulling and pinching her hardened nipple; the little noises escaping her mouth egging him on. This was the one area in their relationship that they got right, the physical stuff. They may fuck up everything else but their attraction to one another was pure. It was as if she was made for him, made of him. He was Adam and she was born of his rib.
Buzz.
Buzz.
Buzz.
The incessant vibration of Jamie’s phone interrupted the melody of her moans. “I’m going to have to deal with you hanging up on him all day,” she sighed.
“I got this,” Ryder assured, reaching for the goddamn device. Despite his massive hard-on, he managed to pull himself together enough to answer. “Jamie’s phone, Ryder speaking, how may I help you?”
“Put my daughter on the phone this instant,” her dad growled. The motherfucker actually growled. He sounded like a mix between Burt Reynolds and Clint Eastwood. Jamie’s dad was a man wh
o perfected the art of intimidation, but Ry wasn’t fazed.
“Sorry, she’s busy right now. Can I take a message?”
“You think you’re funny?” Burt Eastwood sneered.
Jamie bit down on her lip, amusement dancing in her eyes. Ryder would give his life to keep it there, to keep the sadness at bay. Trailing his hand up her leg, he tickled the back of her knee.
“Stop it,” she giggled, thrashing underneath him.
“Your daughter seems to think so,” he said, ducking a pillow Jamie threw at his head.
“I hate to break it to you, son, but a girl like James will never end up with a piece of shit like you. This isn’t some fairytale where you’ll ride off into the sunset with my daughter. Jared will get the girl, and there isn’t a damn thing you can do about it.”
Ignoring him, Ryder turned his attention to Jamie. “I love you and I promise to always protect you from this asshole. Also, you’re going to be late for work.”
“I will destroy—” Gran Torino began, but Ryder let the phone fall. He needed both his hands to drag the boxers down Jamie’s thighs and toss them over his shoulder. Kitty Cat’s legs fell open and Ryder licked his lips at the sight of her glistening pussy. It was as pretty as a picture. Her arousal perfumed his room.
Jamie was his, no matter what her dad thought.
Around noon Ryder made his way to Cibo to beg for his job. Not only did he walk out during the middle of his shift, but he caused a scene in the dining room. A part of him knew he would be out on his ass, but a bigger part, the part that liked to eat and pay rent, sent him into town with his tail between his legs.
If he was fired, he was fired. He’d accept it. He deserved it, but if there was a chance he still had a job, even if it came with consequences, he was in no position to pass it up.
Ryder pulled his bike into the employee parking lot. Oscar, the dishwasher, stood by the side door smoking.
“What’s up, bro?”
“Same shit,” Oscar said taking a swig from his flask.
“Is Liz here?” Ryder asked, running his fingers through his blond hair. The gravity of the situation was beginning to hit him. He’d spent the morning in heaven with Kitty Cat. Now that his feet were back on earth, Ryder realized how badly he’d fucked up. Lithium was doing okay, their fan base was growing more and more with each show, but it wasn’t enough.
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