I sighed loudly. "Why are you making sense? I hate it when you do that."
He chuckled. "Perhaps because I've also had to come to terms with what my past means. I'm not the heir to a throne, I wasn't taught the things I needed to know about life, which means I have to learn them now."
"I wasn't born the heir either," I whispered.
"Exactly. And I bet all of the attention and energy was placed on your brother."
"Of course. Father offered me the same education and experiences, but I refused. It seems foolish now."
"And also completely understandable. But I think you're being too harsh on yourself. You're here, you're commanding the rebellion and people are following you. Add into that your proficiency with a bow, and I don't think you're as badly off as you think you are. You should trust in yourself."
"Hmm." I liked the way his words sounded, but something about them was hard to accept. Perhaps I simply wanted them to be true.
"I know it's hard to believe in yourself. But until you do, I'll do the believing for you."
I smiled up at him, amazed that I'd found someone like him in the midst of all this. He was everything I didn't know I'd needed.
He wasn't aware of it yet, but I didn't plan on ever letting him get away.
Chapter 15
"Make sure the food is sent directly to the infirmary," I instructed one of our messengers. Sapphire swayed from side to side on my shoulder.
The man nodded and then disappeared with the bag bursting with fresh bread. We didn't have many injured, but there were enough people that they needed caring for.
I turned away and started thinking of my next task. Making sure things got to the places they needed to go was simply one of the many things that made up the daily grind of the camp, and I made it my mission to see to as many of them as I could. At least that way, I knew what was happening with who.
"Apples," an old woman's voice called. "Free apples."
I perked up. I loved apples, and it had been a long while since I'd had one. We had plenty of food in the camp thanks to the generosity of some local farmers, but it tended to be reasonably simple things. We had lots of bread and some meat, even some root vegetables, but fruit was a luxury we didn't have as much of. And I missed it. Once I was queen, I was half tempted to order a banquet entirely made up of fruit. It would be extravagant, but I deserved it after everything I'd been through.
Perhaps the woman would be kind enough to spare one for me. A small part of me felt bad for the thought. Surely, I should give that kind of treat to my people before myself. But it had been a rough couple of days with Jonathan away on a scouting trip with some of the others.
Unsurprisingly, a lot of the people living in the camp had gathered around and were now taking apples from the woman. I hoped there wasn't anything wrong with them. I pushed the thought that this might be Katya's doing away. So far, she'd only targeted me and not the people around me. I had to hope she stuck to whatever the code of ethics she'd been using was, she would keep to them and not harm the people around me. They didn't deserve that.
I made my way over to them, pushing through the throngs of people. I frowned when I saw the woman. I didn't recognise her, but that wasn't all that surprising. I didn't know everyone who was part of the rebellion, or even that lived in the camp. But something felt wrong about her. As if she was hiding behind a mask. I couldn't put my finger on what it was that felt wrong, though, which was as much of a problem as anything else.
"Who are you?" I demanded. Sapphire took the opportunity to fly away, circling above as if she was trying to keep an eye on everything. If anything was going to convince me that something was wrong here, then that was it.
The woman paused for a moment, the apple in her hand disappearing into someone else's. "Just an old woman who heard about the good work you're doing here and brought some apples for everyone. I have one for you, too." She turned towards the bag and picked up an apple.
She held it out to me, the glossy red skin calling my name. It looked beautiful, like it would be crisp, sharp and sweet all at the same time. I only just held back from licking my lips. It had been so long since I'd had one. Would it really be that bad to take it?
"Thank you." I took it from her, ignoring the small voice in my head that was telling me this was a bad idea. I deserved a treat.
"You're welcome. I should be getting back to my orchard. There are more apples there that I can bring back for everyone." She lifted the sacks from her donkey and placed them on the floor at her feet. They were still groaning with apples, and I knew the people in camp would appreciate the treat even if they did come from an odd place. "I'll leave these ones here."
"Thank you for your generosity," I said. "I can see we owe you a great debt for it." There was no way I was taking so much from her for my people and not giving her anything in return. That was an easy way to sow hatred within the kingdom.
"You owe me nothing at all," the woman assured me.
I narrowed my eyes, trying to work out what the game plan was.
"Can I at least know your name?" Perhaps that could shed some light on who she was and why she was sharing her harvest with us.
"It's best if you don't. Long live the true queen of this kingdom."
I blinked a couple of times, trying to work out what the best way of responding was. Before I could, the old woman had vanished. I frowned. That was odd. She shouldn't have been able to move that fast. I shook my head. I was imagining things. There was nothing to be suspicious about.
"Back to your stations," I called to the people gathered around. "Let other people come and collect some of their apples." I wanted to share this harvest around as many people as possible.
I watched as a couple of people munched on theirs and stared at my own. No one seemed to be suffering from any side effects. I was starting to get paranoid. If I wasn't careful, it was going to consume my life and make me difficult to be around. That wasn't something I wanted. Especially not when the people of the kingdom would be looking up to me as an example.
I lifted the apple to my lips, smelling the delicious scent as I bit into the rosy flesh.
The world went dark. Suddenly and all at once. Sound distorted and disappeared. I was dimly aware of falling to the ground.
What had happened? What had the woman done?
Why had I eaten the apple?
Chapter 16
The blackness was absolute.
Until it wasn't.
Colours swam around me, forming a chain of pictures that had nothing to do with one another. I suspected they were all moments from my life, but it was impossible to be sure of that as none of them stayed for long enough for me to be sure. I tried to reach out and grab hold of one of them, but my hand was frozen still next to the rest of my body.
Somehow, I was aware of that. And not at the same time. It was almost like I was in the deepest sleep I could imagine, but at the same time, there was no way of me hearing what was going on around me. At least I'd been in camp when I'd bitten into the apple and collapsed.
Anger seethed within me. How had Katya done this? Had the other people who'd eaten the apples collapsed too? That was what I was angriest about. I wanted to check on them and make sure they were alright, but I couldn't even rouse myself from rest, I didn't know what else I could have done.
The black tendrils of a dream reached out for me and I had no choice but to answer them. I slipped away from the unfocused sleep and into another state. Perhaps this time I'd be able to recall what I dreamed about.
A familiar scene opened up in front of me. I was standing in the middle of the palace courtyard with a small bow in my hands and a target in front of me. But I wasn't paying any attention to it. I was more interested in what my father was teaching Killian at the other side of the yard.
They had real swords, each slashing at one another. It was clear that father had more skill, but Killian made up for that with enthusiasm.
A hand landed on my shoulder and
I looked up to find mother standing behind me.
"If you ask him, he'll teach you," she told me.
I shook my head. "I don't think I'll be any good at it." I glanced away.
"Why ever not?" The way she asked was in her mother voice. She wanted me to know that she thought I could do anything, even when I was a small girl.
"I don't think I could do it in a dress."
She chuckled. "You can do anything in a dress," she assured me. "All you have to do is try."
The image faded, swirling into itself and reforming into another one.
Mother lay on the dais in front of us, still and cold.
I walked up to her, ignoring Killian, father, and my new friend, Katya. All I could focus on was the knowledge that I wasn't going to hear her voice again. Nor was I going to be able to go to her for advice when I needed it.
A tear rolled down my cheek, falling down my face and splashing to the ground. My heart ached, and my insides hurt from the emotion.
I looked down onto the cold white face of mother. Feeling brave, I reached out and I stroked down her cheek.
"I promise I'll make you proud," I whispered. "No matter what it takes, I'll be the woman I have to be."
There was almost a ghost of a smile on her face. Maybe it was just the way the undertakers had rested her face. I wasn't sure how any of that process worked.
Her face faded and warped, changing into my father's dying one. The sickness had taken its toll on him, and he was looking gaunter than I'd ever seen.
"I don't want you to leave me too," I whispered to his sleeping form.
Father shifted in his sleep, his eyes cracking open. I swallowed. I hadn't meant to wake him, he needed all the rest he could get, the last thing I wanted was to deprive him of that.
"You shouldn't fret, dear," he assured me.
"How can I not? You're leaving me. Mother is already gone. What am I supposed to do?"
"Follow your path. You have a great future ahead of you. Be the leader you were born to be."
He must be delirious and think I was Killian. "I promise, father," I said rather than correcting him. It didn't seem like now was the right time to remind him which child he was talking to. I'd pass his words on to Killian when we got a moment alone.
"I should sleep more," he murmured.
"You should." I leaned in and kissed the top of his head. "I'll see you in the morning." Even as I said the words, I knew they might not end up being true. He was fading fast and one of these days, we were going to wake up to find him gone.
I rose to my feet, trying not to dwell on that fact too much longer. Tears filled my eyes again, just like they had when it was mother who had died.
I left the room, not too focused on what had just happened to pay attention to where I was going. Before I knew it, I found myself knocking on my best friend's door.
"Come in," Katya called.
I pushed on the door and entered her room. She was wearing black, even though she didn't have to. My father hadn't died yet, she didn't need to wear her grief. But I knew that she was just showing she cared.
"Oh, Lucia." She rushed over and pulled me into a hug. "You've just been to see him, haven't you?"
I nodded against her shoulder, not saying anything in case it broke the dam and all of my tears started to fall. I was on the verge of a complete breakdown, and there was no true way to avoid that.
"Let me call for tea and then we'll talk." She pulled away and headed into the corridor to flag down a servant.
I took the opportunity to move further into the room, taking a seat at a small area she had set aside for entertaining. Anyone who visited would never guess that this was the room belonging to the crown princess. She'd never been one for flaunting her status, even after she'd married my brother.
She arrived back with a package and sat down. "The tea will be here shortly," she told me.
"What's that?" I asked, pointing to the package. It was easier to focus on that than on the real reason I was here.
She grimaced. "A present to welcome me into the role of being queen. It's ridiculous. I'm not even the queen yet."
"People send those?" How distasteful.
"Apparently. I think they assume that it'll grant them favour once I'm crowned." Her own disapproval of the practice shone through her words.
"Are you ready for that?" I hated having to ask, but she was my brother's wife. Her coronation was imminent and I wanted to be sure that my friend was ready for it. I found it easier to focus on that aspect of what was happening as opposed to losing my father.
"No," she admitted. "I know I'm not supposed to feel that way. But I'm not ready to be queen. I don't want to be queen. But I'm still worried that I won't do a good job. But Killian needs me. You need me too. I just hope people will see that I'm trying to do what's right by them too."
I reached out and placed a hand over hers. "They'll see it, Katya. You'll be the best queen the land has ever seen."
She smiled weakly. "I think you'd be a better queen than me. A small part of me wishes that the crown will pass to you instead of Killian."
Despite myself, I laughed. "I don't think I'll be a good queen full stop."
Though the conversation went on after that, and I could recall it all if I tried, the dream world tugged me out of it and back into the deep blackness of sleep.
Was there a reason it had chosen to show me these memories? Or was it just my subconscious trying to make sense of everything and showing me the memories that could help me move forward. I must have been a fool to believe that Katya didn't want to be queen. She'd proved she'd wanted the rule the moment she'd taken the throne from Killian.
But if I wanted to do anything about it, then the first thing I had to do was wake up. I was going to do everything in my power to make my parents proud and keep my promises. I'd made a similar one to my brother too. There was no way I was going to let them down now.
I was going to retake my throne. And I was going to do it soon.
Chapter 17
People spoke around me and I could make out them moving around. That was a start. The world seemed to be coming back into focus, even if I couldn't open my eyes.
Shouts sounded outside the tent, as if someone had just arrived in camp. I thought back through the days. It was hard to keep track of the time I'd been unconscious, but I thought it had been about two days.
Jonathan.
The familiar sound of the tent flap opening, accompanied by the flap of Sapphire's wings gave me more comfort than he was going to admit. I wasn't sure that he could do anything more than any of the others who'd tried, but there was something reassuring about him being here.
"What did she do to you?" Jonathan's voice whispered close by me. He took my hand in his and gave it a squeeze.
I longed to reach out and return his reassuring touch, but knew that I couldn't in the state I was in. Stupid apple.
But why was I starting to come around now? It was a poor assassination attempt if I was able to wake myself up from it. Just like the others. Something wasn't right here, but I didn't know what it was.
"Kiss her," Hannah said, she'd been doing a good job of looking after me while I'd been unconscious, or at least, she had if the past half a day was anything to go by. "I've heard rumours that that's all it takes in order to break a curse like this."
A curse? Could I really have been cursed? Was Katya powerful enough to do that? She'd never been able to do magic before, but I wasn't sure where she'd gotten the amulet she was wearing from. Perhaps it did have enough power to cast some kind of curse on me. Though that didn't completely make sense. I'd never heard of anyone falling asleep because they'd eaten an apple.
"It's worth a try," Jonathan admitted, sounding as sceptical as I felt. At least I wasn't the only one who thought that being cursed was a long shot.
His warm breath fanned against my lips. At least I was getting a kiss out of this one, though I wasn't sure where Hannah had gotten the idea about the t
wo of us from. We'd been so careful not to be affectionate in public so we didn't stir up any rumours. Nothing good could come from people knowing about us before we were ready.
Moments later, Jonathan's lips pressed against mine. It took a moment, but awareness sank back in, bringing me further out of the unconscious state I'd been in.
My eyes snapped open. And I had to admit that it almost looked and felt as if a curse had been broken. Perhaps Hannah had been onto something after all. I should ask her where she'd heard the rumours about curses and kisses once I was better. But first, I had more important things to deal with. "Jonathan?" I asked, even though I knew it was him. I felt it was the polite thing to do to give him a moment to compose himself.
"You're awake." He beamed down at me, joy and relief warring for attention on his face, like he wasn't sure which of the two emotions was the most important. I didn't care. I was just happy that I could see his face again. There was something truly reassuring about it.
"Yes. I think so." I wriggled my fingers and toes, double-checking that everything was working as it should be. They were stiff, as was the rest of me, but that was likely as much to do with the fact I'd been lying in one position for several days and not because of any ill effects of whatever had happened to me.
"What happened?" he asked, gesturing to Hannah. She ran off, probably to get some tea or other refreshments. That was good. My mouth was too dry, and I didn't like the idea of Jonathan kissing me again before I'd had something to freshen myself up.
"I ate an apple and fell unconscious," I admitted. My mind strayed to one of the things that had worried me the most while I'd been in my almost dream-like state. "Is everyone else alright? She brought a lot of apples with her and people ate them. I don't want..."
"Everyone is fine," he said, cutting me off. "Once I found out what had happened to you, I made sure to find out what had happened to everyone else. I knew it would be the first thing you asked once you woke up."
Kingdom of Crowns and Glory Page 7