The lizard shrugged. “Fair enough, but what do you suggest then? We can’t just do ‘ienie-mienie-mo’.”
“Maybe we should do exactly that,” Hare said. “Let fate decide at random.”
We all stood there for a moment, thinking about what to do next, until Billy said, “I agree with Hare.” He fumbled through his pockets and retrieved a dice.
“You always bring that with you?” the Snark asked him, still huddled in my arms. “I’m starting to think you have a gambling problem, lizard.”
Billy wisely ignored the Snark. He held the dice between his fingers. “If I roll a one, then we go through path one.” He pointed at the path to the left. “Two, is path two. Three, is path three, and four is the path most to the right.”
“What if you throw a five or six?” Tweedledee asked.
“Then, we throw again.” Billy closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and rolled the dice.
Six.
Great.
“All right, someone else throw,” Billy said. “We have to keep it random. Hare, you want to give it a go?”
Hare took the dice from his friend, and rolled it.
Five.
“I guess we’re not very high on luck,” Hatter said before he gave it a shot. Six. He sighed, walked toward me and handed me the dice. Our fingers touched for a second while he put the dice in my hand, and an unfamiliar, warm feeling flooded over me. How would it feel like to hold his hand? The warmth of his palm on mine?
I swallowed hard. Focus, Alice. First thing’s first, we need to survive this labyrinth of doom.
I rolled the dice, and it stopped on four.
Everyone looked at me, until Billy cleared his throat and said, “Path four it is.” He took the dice back and pocked it again.
I stared at the path to the right, path four, hoping that my throw of the dice hadn’t just brought us more misfortune than any of us could even dare to imagine.
Chapter 12
Day One in Wonderland
Duchess had a carriage, which she said we could use to get to the Neverever House.
“Just don’t hurt its feelings,” she said while she led Theodore and I to the carriage.
Don’t hurt its feelings? Since when do carriages have feelings?
I was starting to get the hang of Wonderland. Whatever was impossible in the real world, was possible in Wonderland. Whatever was ordinary in the real world, was peculiar in Wonderland.
Here, rabbits talked and worried about being late, Duchesses were accompanied by marching bands, and Lone Turtles weren’t lonely and lives in quaint pink houses.
We had to pass through the marching band to reach the carriage, and I had to watch out not to bump into anyone. It was crazy to see elephants that were barely the size of humans, and a lion who winked at me when I passed him by. Something else peculiar about Wonderland was that all the animals had humanlike qualities. They walked and talked like humans, dressed like humans, although they did keep some traits from their animal sides. For example, the rabbit kept stomping his foot.
“Here we are!” The Duchess stopped in front of me, causing me to nearly bump into her. “Isn’t he beautiful?”
I peeked past her, and nearly choked. Shock spread through me at the strange creature in front of us.
So, maybe I didn’t have Wonderland figure out after all, because this wasn’t what I expected at all.
The carriage, if you could even call it that, was basically an unicorn with a carriage attached to it. The unicorn was an unblemished white, except for the horn on its head, which seemed to be made of solid gold. And when I said the carriage was attached to the unicorn, I meant literally. The pink carriage sprouted from the unicorns back legs, as if a mad scientist had melted the horse and chariot together.
“He is, he is,” I said, not knowing what else to say. “Uhm. Hello, Mr. Unicorn.” I bowed for him. “Nice to meet you.”
The Duchess sighed and rolled her eyes at me. “You really have no manners.”
“Obviously it’s Ms. Unicorn,” the rabbit said as he walked past me and climbed into the carriage. “Come on, we don’t have time.”
“Let me guess: we’re late?” I asked the rabbit sarcastically.
“My dearest Bamblebutt,” the Duchess said while she petted the unicorn’s neck, “could you please take us to the Neverever Wood?”
The unicorn, who was called Bamblebutt, a name I doubted the animal had picked for itself, whinnied. “To the Neverever Wood?” she asked. “Isn’t that dangerous this time of the year?”
Oh great. The unicorn was talking too. Of course. What was next? Talking chairs? Talking stars? As crazy as you could imagine it, Wonderland had it.
“The Neverever Wood is dangerous all times of the year, dear,” the Duchess said while she stepped inside the carriage. “But our guest, Alice-who-isn’t-Alice, refuses to believe she isn’t Alice, so we have to go to the Neverever House to show her who she isn’t, if she isn’t Alice.”
“That,” I said, not understanding a word of what the Duchess had said. “Thank you, Bamblebutt, for bringing us to the Neverever Woods.”
I stepped inside the carriage too. There was barely enough room for three people to sit, especially considering the Duchess’s gown took up a space fit for four people. Theodore and I had to share one seat, each of sitting uncomfortably on one side.
Bamlebutt neighed and started pulling the carriage forward; or, given how the carriage was attached to her, maybe she just started walking. Sometimes in Wonderland, it was hard to say.
The marching band started marching too, blasting their infernal music as loud as they could while we travelled through the forest, beyond a cornflower field, a field of blue rosebushes—apparently a native plant to Wonderland—and ended up on a path littered with signs saying “Neverever Wood” and “Go back”. There were also a ton of varieties on “Go back”, ranging from “Return” to “Why haven’t you turned around yet?” and my personal favorite, “TURN AROUND IDIOT.”
I pointed at the last sign, turned to Theodore and said, “I don’t think this Neverever Wood is a friendly place.”
“Whatever made you think that?” the rabbit asked. He seemed startled by my question, or maybe because I had spoken all of the sudden, while we had spent the majority of the carriage ride in silence so far.
The Duchess turned toward me too. She hadn’t said a word since we started riding, besides occasional directions to Bamblebutt.
“The signs. That have been littering the road for at least the last kilometre.”
The rabbit looked at me as if I had lost my wits. “What do you mean?”
“The warning signs. Like: Turn around idiot?” I couldn’t believe he had either purposely chosen to ignore the signs, or he had been so lost in his thoughts he hadn’t noticed them.
“Oh, that. Not to worry.” Theodore gently patted my knee, in a way a grandfather would toward a grandchild who was making a fuss about nothing again. “Those are just to warn people off.”
Wasn’t that exactly the point I was trying to make?
“And why would they do that,” I said, trying hard to stay calm and not snap at Theodore or the Duchess, “if not because the Woods are dangerous?”
“All Woods are dangerous,” the Duchess said .”The Neverever Wood no more or less than any other.”
“In the Woods, you can encounter yourself,” Theodore explained. “That’s never pleasant. Or, sometimes it is, but only for those special kind of people who have learned to love themselves. It’s quite rare.”
For the thousandth time, I realized there was simply no way to talk with these two. Sighing, I said, “So, you’re telling me someone went through all the trouble to put up all those signs for no reason? The Woods aren’t dangerous, any more so than any other type of Woods in Wonderland?”
Theodore shrugged. “The Neverever Wood does house a Bandersnatch, and those are nasty. But that’s not the direction we’re going in.”
Meanwhile, a sign w
ith bloody markings saying “RETURN BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE” popped up to my left, and I pointed at it with my thumb.
“Shouldn’t we consider going back? Given the bloody handwriting on said sign?”
“With what must one write if one runs out of ink?” The Duchess said, as if writing messages in blood was the most common thing in the world. “Besides, we can’t turn back, we’re almost here.”
The path meandered onwards for another half a kilometre, until we entered a line of trees, with a sign in front of them saying rather fittingly: NEVEREVER WOODS. YOU’RE TOO LATE NOW.
And underneath that, in smaller writing: Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
The carriage hobbled onto the road ahead, the unicorn expertly evading trees and bushes. The moment we left the main road and turned onto the Neverever Wood, the forest seemed to block out most of the sunlight.
In a matter of seconds, it seemed to have turned from middle of the day into the dead of night. A shiver ran across my spine.
“Why is it so dark now?” I asked the rabbit, hoping for once that he would give me a straight answer.
“Roof of tree leaves.” The rabbit leaned outside the carriage and pointed at the sky above us. “Blocking out all the light.”
I shivered as I poked my head out of the carriage and looked at the canopy of trees above us. Even though I had spent but five minutes in the Neverever Wood, I already knew it would never be my favorite place. It had a claustrophobic, dark feel to it, and I understood why people would avoid it.
“How much longer until we’re at the Neverever House?” I asked my companions.
“Who worries about time?” The rabbit asked, which was no doubt the most contradictory statement I had heard from him yet.
I hugged my arms around myself, trying to ignore the cold wind picking up from around us in the Neverever Wood, and tried to think of happier thoughts.
Mom’s face appeared in my mind. How happy she had looked before I had gone to prom, taking a million pictures just so she could remember this day forever. Then, there was Heather, my best friend, who had done everything she could to make me enjoy prom, even if Finn had stood me up. Thoughts of Mom and Heather made me feel slightly better, but at the same time, they also made me feel worse.
I had no idea how long I had been in Wonderland already, or what was happening in the real world while I adventured away with Duchesses and talking rabbits in a make-belief world. Was I really missing? Would Mom miss me? Or was I lying in a coma somewhere, my broken-hearted mother crying over my limb form as I was stuck in a dream I couldn’t wake up from?
I had no way to know, and it gnawed at me. Was Mom okay? Was Heather okay?
Was I okay?
The rabbit tapped me on the arm. “It’s here,” he said before leaning his head out of the carriage on his side, gesturing for me to do the same on mine.
I peeked out of the right side of the carriage. At first, I saw nothing but trees coming straight at us, but then the trees gave way to a clearing.
A house stood in the middle of the clearing. The house seemed to come straight out of the eighteenth century, a manor house with at least fifty-something rooms, sprawled across the open field. It looked as out of place as a bull in a china shop.
“This is the Neverever House?” I asked the obvious question, while Bamblebutt came to a halt, and the carriage slipped on the mud.
Rabbit nearly fell out of the carriage, and the Duchess had to hold on with both hands not to be thrown out.
“Obviously,” the Duchess said. She pushed past me, her skirts nearly suffocating me as she slammed me against the back of the carriage. Once she was outside, I followed after her, relieved to be taking in some fresh air, even if the Neverever Wood was every bit as ominous as the signs had made it out to be.
The tree canopy overhead covered everything in an eerie darkness. The Woods itself were completely silent, a stark contrast to what I expected from a forest. Back home, forests were usually vibrant with energy, filled with noises of critters and birds. The Neverever Woods were as quiet as the grave.
“Let’s go. What are you waiting for?” The Duchess gestured for me to follow her. She struggled to lift up her skirts as she waded through the sea of grass toward the House.
“Thanks, Bamblebutt,” I said to the unicorn, who nodded at me in return. Bamblebutt leaned down to eat some grass; she certainly didn’t seem phased about our location. Neither did the Duchess, who was walking ahead like a lone warrior carving a path for her comrades. Theodore was right behind her, glancing at his watch, and mumbling how late it was.
Everyone seemed unphased about our location, except for me. Something about the Neverever Wood put me on edge, even though I couldn’t pinpoint what it was. Was it the signs warning us? The darkness? Or something else?
All I knew was that I felt as if we were being watched. I had that feeling since our carriage crossed the borders of the Woods, but it was even worse now we were out in the open.
I rushed after the Duchess and Theodore, eager to stay as close to them as possible. Safety in numbers, and all that.
As we crossed the distance toward the house, I caught something moving in the corner of my eyes. “Uhm… Guys,” I said, trying to catch the other’s attention.
“What?” The rabbit snapped at me as he turned around. “We’re almost there.”
“I know, it’s just… Never mind.” I chalked it up to my imagination. This place got on my nerves somehow, that was it. If something was watching us, surely the Duchess or Theodore would’ve noticed by now.
Just before we moved again, a branch squeaked to our right. I stopped dead in my tracks. “I don’t think we’re on our own.”
The Duchess gestured at me to be quiet. “Sh!”
“But we’re being followed,” I insisted. “We’re not alone.”
The rabbit pulled me by the sleeve, down to his level, and whispered in my ear. “Of course we’re being followed.”
Again, I couldn’t believe my ears. They knew—both of them knew? And they acted like everything was all right, and it was perfectly normal we were being followed?
“What is following us?” I ask-whispered to Theodore.
“The Mysterabobs,” Theodore answered.
I waited for him to say something else, but apparently that was the only answer he was going to give. Great. We were being followed by Mysterabobs. That really cleared things up for me. Not.
Shivers ran down my spine. How many of these things were watching us? It felt like a thousand, if not more.
I looked back over my shoulder, at Bamblebutt, and I longed to be back in the carriage, despite my entire leg itching from only being able to sit on half a chair. At least in the carriage it had felt somewhat safer than out here.
“What are Mysterabobs?” I asked Theodore, also keeping my tone to a whisper. We still had a good distance to cross before we made it to the Neverever House, and I didn’t want to alert them.
“Nobody knows,” the rabbit said. “That’s why we call them Mysterabobs. We don’t know what they look like, what they do, if they’re dangerous or not. All we know is they exist.”
“Has anyone ever seen them?” His explanation sounded strange, but then again, so did almost everything here. I glanced behind me, trying to make out one or more of these Mysterabobs—although I secretly hoped I didn’t—but I saw nothing but grass, and the trees beyond.
“No. At least, not that I know, but there’s a lot I don’t know.” The rabbit shrugged his shoulders. “Best to keep on going, not to ask too many questions. The Neverever Wood doesn’t like questions.”
If the Wood didn’t like questions, then how were we ever going to find any answers here?
I didn’t dare to ask the question out loud. Instead, I followed the Duchess’s lead. I had to give it to her, despite being at war with her excessive gown, she was trudging along bravely. Each step must’ve been exhausting for her, dragging along that much fabric.
A giggle erup
ted from my left. It only lasted a second, but I heard it clear as day.
“Ignore it,” the rabbit recommended. He took my hand and dragged me along. “Come on.”
But I couldn’t ignore it. Even as I stumbled to keep up with the rabbit, I kept glancing at the direction of the sound. First, another giggle to the left. Then, a branch creaking to the right. Footsteps from behind us, a screech up ahead.
And suddenly, it dawned on me.
I gulped as the realization hit me. I pulled the rabbit’s sleeve. “Uhm, Theodore?”
“Yes,” he said impatiently, still trying to drag me along so I would keep up with him and the Duchess. “What it is now, Alice-who-isn’t-Alice?”
“I… I know what the Mysterabobs are.”
“What?” The Duchess interfered in our conversation. She stopped, turned toward me, and shot me a curious look. “Nobody knows what Mysterabobs are. You’ve been in Wonderland not even a whole day, and you claim you know?”
“I do.” I licked my lips nervously, glancing around us. “You see… There’s only one thing it can be.”
I gestured for the Duchess to lean closer, before I whispered to her and Theodore. “It’s the grass.”
For a second, neither of them moved. The Duchess looked from me to Theodore and back. Then, she screamed so suddenly it almost gave me a heart attack.
She screamed and screamed, wailing like a banshee, while she made a run for it. Lifting up her skirts, she scurried over the grass, towards the NeverEver House, obviously terrified.
“Now you’ve done it,” the rabbit said before he dashed after the Duchess. “Duchess! Duchess! Wait!” he cried out after her, waving for her to stop.
I remained still, unsure why my observation about the Mysterabobs had made the Duchess so terrified. Still, I should go chase after her, make sure she was all right.
I was about to run when something moved beneath my feet. Something actually moved. Like an earthquake, but happening right underneath me.
The grass.
Or, more precisely, the Mysterabobs.
All of the sudden, it seemed as if the entire field was alive. Every inch of grass was a wicked, living thing, ready to grab me. The earth moved, trying to make me fall down.
Kingdom of Crowns and Glory Page 61