by Elle Kennedy
“Maybe, but I also needed to be with you.”
His heart squeezed. “You’re with me now,” he pointed out. Then he slid closer and cupped her chin with his hands. “I’m so sorry, Charlotte. I was young and I made a huge mistake. I’m willing to own up to that. But I just want you to know that I’ve grown up. I realize now how badly I handled the situation. For the past fifteen years, I’ve been so damn miserable, wondering if you’d ever be able to forgive me for what I did.”
“You were miserable?” she echoed.
He nodded, wanting so badly to tell her about how many relationships he’d screwed up, but he didn’t feel comfortable bringing other women into this private moment between them. It was true, though. He’d dated after Charlotte left, but never truly opened himself up to anyone. Until Evelyn—but that was an angering memory he didn’t want to dwell on right now.
“I was miserable too,” she confessed. “Every man I was with…I always ended up comparing him to you.”
Lord, he knew the feeling. “I guess it’s pretty obvious then that we never really got over each other.”
“Get over you?” She sighed. “I don’t think I can ever get over you.”
His heart soared. “Does…does that mean you forgive me?”
After a long moment, she nodded, her green eyes flickering with resignation. “I do…I forgive you, Nate. But… What are we doing here?”
“Making up for lost time.” He dragged his thumb along the seam of her lips. “Which I’m willing to keep doing for as long as you want.”
Something he couldn’t decipher moved across her face. “You want a relationship?”
“It’s all I’ve ever wanted.”
Another flicker in her eyes, one that might have looked like guilt if he didn’t know better. “My career is important to me,” she said.
“It’s important to me too.” He bent his head to brush his lips over hers. “I would never interfere with your career. If you need to live in New York for part of the time, then that’s fine. We can make this work, baby. I know we can.”
He knew that what he was saying was far too premature. She’d only been back in Paradise for a couple of days, after all. But he couldn’t stop the words from exiting his mouth. Charlotte Hill was the only woman he’d ever truly loved, the only woman he could picture spending his life with. He’d already let her go once—he wasn’t sure he could do it again.
“Nate…”
He was surprised to see a lone tear leak out from the corner of her eye. “Don’t you cry on me,” he said roughly. “Tell me what you’re thinking.”
“I…” Her throat bobbed as she gulped. “I was thinking about why I came here…and…”
Her reply was a bit odd, but he couldn’t figure out why she was suddenly so upset. He didn’t like either. He’d never been good with tears. Quickly pulling her into his arms, he rubbed her upper back and murmured, “All that matters is that you’re back. You have me, Charlie. For as long as you’re here, for as long as you want to be, you have me.”
She tilted her head up to look at him, her green eyes swimming with both joy and dismay. “I want you,” she murmured back. “I don’t know about the future, but right now, I want you.”
Grinning, he took her hand and brought it to his zipper. “Then take me.”
With a responding smile, she unzipped his pants and did just that.
Charlotte woke up with the most colossal weight of guilt bearing down on her chest. She couldn’t even believe she’d fallen asleep, though three hours of slumber didn’t really count as a good night of rest.
She’d made a big mistake. Coming here to seduce Nate, planning to break his heart…there was no way she could go through with any of that now that she knew the truth.
Nate had broken up with her so she would be able to live her dreams.
The thought still filled her with shock. All these years she’d hated him for what he’d done, and now she wanted to kick herself for believing the lies so easily. Why hadn’t she stuck around to get the truth from him? Why had she been so willing to believe that he had actually meant everything he’d said to her?
Because you were an insecure idiot.
Yep, that about summed it up. Being ostracized by her peers and whispered about by her elders had succeeded in stripping away her confidence. When Nate dumped her, claiming he didn’t even like her, a part of her had thought, It’s about time. Somehow, she’d never believed someone as wonderful as Nate Bishop could actually fall in love with her.
“Idiot,” she mumbled to herself then experienced a wave of gratitude that Nate wasn’t in the room to hear it.
She’d heard him heading downstairs an hour ago but had been too exhausted to climb out of bed. The faint sound of typing came from below, making her deduce that he was on his laptop. He’d mentioned last night that he was slacking on inputting the pub’s expense reports into the database on his computer.
Although she was wide awake now, she wasn’t quite ready to go downstairs and face Nate. Everything he’d said to her yesterday—the truth about the breakup, his desire to have her in his life despite her hectic career—it all buzzed around in her mind like a nest of restless hornets. A part of her was still annoyed with him—why hadn’t he just told her the damn truth instead of pushing her away? But she couldn’t fault him for making a stupid mistake, not when she’d made a pretty big mistake of her own. She had to tell him the truth about why she’d come back. Sure, she could probably forget about it, never mention it and Nate wouldn’t be the wiser, but Charlotte knew they couldn’t move forward until she lay all the cards on the table first.
A lie had been responsible for their breakup, and she couldn’t, not in good conscience, let a lie begin this new relationship.
And she wanted a relationship with Nate. Badly. She’d been so lonely for so long. She’d been empty. Nobody had ever been able to compare to Nate, and now that she had him back, she didn’t want to let him go. She wanted to hold on to him for as long as she could.
Which was why she decided to take the coward’s way out and tell him the truth tomorrow.
Padding down the stairs wearing the button-down shirt Nate had discarded on the floor last night, she found him in the small study tucked off from the living room. “Morning,” she said softly.
He glanced up from the laptop and shot her a smile that curled her toes. “Morning. Want to get some breakfast at Betty’s?”
“Sure. But I was thinking of going for a run first. Can I rummage around in your drawers for something that fits?”
“Sure.” His head was already turning back to the screen. “Stay on the path though. Wild animals are always roaming this area.”
“Yes, sir.”
With a smile, she headed back upstairs where she slipped into a worn gray T-shirt with the Paradise Panthers football logo on the front then found a pair of basketball shorts with a drawstring that she managed to get tight enough that the shorts stayed on her hips.
It was a surprisingly cool morning for July, and when she stepped outside, goose bumps rose on her bare arms. She took off on the path Nate had indicated and soon sweat coated the front of her shirt. Charlotte’s ponytail swished back and forth, and she was so focused on running the guilt right out of her body that she shouted out in surprise when a black-clad figure stepped out from behind a patch of trees.
“Didn’t mean to scare you,” came a rough voice.
She collected her breath and looked into a pair of eyes so dark they were nearly pure black. The man who’d blindsided her was a few years younger, probably mid to late twenties, and the sex appeal rolling off his lean body actually caused a response in her own. Her nipples peaked against her bra, and she awkwardly crossed her arms as she demanded, “Do you make it a habit of scaring total strangers?”
“Sometimes, but you’re not a stranger, are you?” His voice was deep, insolent even, and those black eyes swept up and down her body, making her feel self-conscious in the oversized clothe
s she’d borrowed from Nate. “You’re Charlotte Hill.”
“And you are?” she asked coolly.
“Cooper Grady. I live about half a mile from here.”
“Oh.”
She wasn’t sure what to say after that—small talk wasn’t her forte—and he seemed amused by her silence. One large hand reached into the back pocket of his black jeans and pulled out a pack of Camels. He tapped the pack against his palm, extracted a cigarette and used a silver Zippo to light up.
“So you’re Nate’s neighbor,” she finally said.
“And his best customer,” a dry voice came from behind.
Charlotte spun around to see Nate emerge from the path behind her. His shirt was still unbuttoned and his shoelaces weren’t tied, as if he’d simply thrust his feet into his sneakers and rushed out here.
“I heard you scream,” he said in explanation, coming up beside her. “I figured you might have encountered one of the animals that like to roam the property.” Nate gave a rueful smile. “And I see you did run into a wolf.”
“That’s not a very nice thing to say,” Cooper drawled before lifting his cigarette to his sensual lips and taking a deep drag. “I’m just a regular old pussycat.”
Charlotte eyed Cooper dubiously. Yeah right. There was definitely something feral about this man. She wondered when he’d moved to town—he definitely hadn’t been living here when she was.
“He wasn’t rude to you, was he, Charlie?” Nate asked, his posture suggesting that if Cooper had indeed been discourteous, Nate wouldn’t hesitate to clock him.
“No, but he did scare me,” she answered, scowling at the sexy man by the trees.
Cooper blew out a plume of smoke and gave a mocking smile. “I do have that effect on women.”
She found herself grinning. “I’ll bet.”
Nate’s hand was suddenly on her arm. “Why don’t we leave Coop to his morning stroll,” he suggested. “We should go get that breakfast.”
It was funny—although Cooper Grady was practically radiating heat and masculinity, her temperature didn’t spike until the moment Nate touched her bare skin. Would he always get that response from her? Was he the only one who could? So far, she hadn’t found a man who could evoke such primal desire inside of her, and she wasn’t sure she wanted to go looking.
Nate was the only man she wanted.
“Let’s go,” she said, slipping her hand into his. She glanced at Cooper and added, “It was nice meeting you.”
“Pleasure was all mine.”
She and Nate turned and retreated down the path. She noticed his grip on her hand had tightened possessively. “Coop is an incorrigible flirt,” he grumbled.
Charlotte gave him a sidelong look. “Is that jealousy I hear in your voice?”
“No.”
“Liar.” She laughed. “You don’t like him, do you?”
“I don’t mind him.” Nate shrugged. “I just mind when he hits on my woman.”
“Who’s your woman?” she asked innocently.
Before she could blink, he’d thrust her against him, the hard ridge of his arousal pressing into her belly. “Who do you think?” he muttered.
And then he kissed her, leaving no doubt as to whom he meant.
An hour later, they were seated in the same diner booth Charlotte had occupied yesterday and leaning back to let their stomachs recover from Betty’s famous breakfast. As Nate ordered another refill for their coffees, Charlotte was reminded of yesterday morning when Lexie had confronted her here and filled her head with nonsense. Now, she couldn’t help but purse her lips and glance at Nate warily.
Amusement creased his features. “Why are you looking at me like that?”
“Are you involved with Lexie Price?”
The question popped out like a candy bar from a vending machine, instantly bringing heat to her cheeks. Nate looked just as surprised by the sudden inquiry, but then he chuckled. “No, I’m not involved with Lexie.”
“Does she know that?” Charlotte said coldly.
Nate’s chuckle turned into a full-blown laugh. “Who’s jealous now?”
“I’m not jealous. Just confused. She verbally assaulted me yesterday, you know. Came in here and told me to stay away from you. Oh, and she accused me of leaving you with a broken heart. What the hell is that about?”
To her bewilderment, Nate’s expression went cloudy with…guilt? She suddenly remembered her earlier suspicions, that he’d blamed the breakup on her to look good in front of the townspeople. But that couldn’t be true. Right?
“What exactly did you tell people about our breakup, Nate?” she asked in a careful tone.
“Nothing.”
“Nothing?”
“I didn’t tell them anything.” He sighed. “Which was probably a mistake since everyone assumes you dumped me and left town.”
Charlotte glared at him. “You let them think that?”
He looked defensive. “You know I don’t talk about my personal life with others. If they wanted to believe you left me, then big deal. The two of us knew the truth.”
“You put another black mark on my name!” She quickly lowered her voice. “So everyone thinks I was just some slut who dumped her boyfriend so she could move on to bigger and better things?”
“Why do you care what they think?” Nate grumbled in frustration. “These people mean nothing to you. Hell, most of them mean nothing to me.”
“Lexie means something to you,” she couldn’t help but snap.
“She’s a friend. Nothing more.”
A frown puckered her brow. “I can’t believe you’re even friends with her. She was terrible to me.” Nate didn’t answer, prompting Charlotte to scowl at him. “What, are you going to deny that?”
“No.” He spoke guardedly. “But…are you sure it was one-sided, Charlotte?”
She gasped. “Are you kidding me?”
He reached across the checkered tablecloth and took her hand, squeezing it gently. “All I’m saying is that you didn’t go out of your way to make friends.”
“Because everyone in this town was a jerk to me. Especially Lexie Price.”
Before Nate could respond, the cell phone she’d left on the table began to vibrate, causing the little milk containers to shake in their saucers. Clenching her teeth, Charlotte picked up the phone and glanced at the screen. When she spotted Georgia’s number, she banished the pang of guilt it evoked and swiftly pressed the ignore button. Damn it, she couldn’t deal with this now. Georgia had called her five times since last night, and each time Charlotte had ignored the call. Just seeing her assistant’s name on that screen reminded her of why she’d come to Paradise, and with the memory came a rush of remorse.
She felt that same rush now, and it was strong enough that she promptly dropped the subject of Lexie Price. So what if Nate’s friend believed Charlotte had broken Nate’s heart. That surely couldn’t be as bad as what Charlotte had set out to do.
She gulped some coffee. Damn it. She needed to tell Nate the truth. They actually had the opportunity to make things work this time. To be happy. Maybe her original intention hadn’t been to get back together with him, but now that she knew why he’d broken up with her all those years ago, she wanted nothing more than to be with Nate Bishop.
Only that couldn’t happen, not unless she was totally honest with him.
Tomorrow, she assured herself.
She was going to tell him everything tomorrow.
Cooper Grady grinned when he spotted the surprise visitor on his porch. She looked poised and sophisticated as usual, wearing a sky-blue silk blouse tucked into a pair of sleek black pants, with her polished red toes poking out of black wedge-looking shoes. Her blonde hair was tied up in a neat twist and her flawless features were free of makeup, which he’d always appreciated. He didn’t like fake rosy blushes on a woman’s cheeks—he preferred putting the flush there after a round of hot, sweaty sex.
“Hey, darling,” he drawled. “What brings you here s
o early in the morning?”
Lexie stood up at his approach. “I’m having a bad day.”
He chuckled. “It’s not even nine o’clock yet. How can your day be bad already?”
She followed him into his cabin and dropped her leather purse on the shabby couch in the main room. “Nate’s not picking up his phone,” she huffed. “I think he’s avoiding me.”
“Nah.” Cooper lifted one eyebrow. “I think he’s just busy getting it on with a smoking-hot redhead.”
Her eyes narrowed. “How do you know that?”
“I ran into them on the path twenty minutes ago. They looked…close.” He shot her a mocking look. “Bet that gets your panties into a knot, huh, princess?”
“Not for the reason you think,” she grumbled.
“The reason is you’re in love with him.”
“I’m not in love with Nate,” she said with the roll of her eyes.
He sneered. “Sorry, I forgot. That honor goes to Gabe Lockhart.”
Lexie’s blue eyes flashed. “Shut up, Cooper. You don’t know a thing about it.”
The fury burning in his gut was seriously annoying. He’d brought up Lockhart in order to mock her, yet the barb affected him more than it seemed to affect her. Why the hell should he care, though? Lexie Price was just another fuck. Another silly female who thought a roll in the hay with big, bad Cooper Grady would make her feel alive or some shit.
Still, he couldn’t stop the embittered words that slipped from his mouth.
“I know more than you think, princess.” He cocked a brow. “I know you fuck him whenever he waltzes back into town. I know you drive to Denver twice a year to see him.”
She looked surprised for a moment then shook her head and gave him a smile that lacked any ounce of amusement. “Why are we even talking? We both know that’s not what this is about. That’s not what I came here for.”
“No, of course you don’t want to talk.” He laughed harshly. “You came to fuck your boy toy, didn’t you, darling?”
She met his gaze head on. “Yes.”