“God, we’re so stupid.”
“Very,” he agreed.
“So, what now?”
“Whatever you want,” he replied, his hands still on my hips. There were no sudden movements, no unapproved caressing, no nonconsensual liberties taken.
“What if I freak out?” I asked.
“Then I stop, and we try again later,” came his easy response. “Maybe we go to couple’s counseling for some guidance if we keep getting it wrong.”
“And if I can never bring myself to give you a blowjob? Then what?” Those were the worries. Those were the fears. A long time ago, I heard the saying, whatever you don’t do for your partner, there’s always someone else out there that will, and that stuck with me. The worry that I might not be enough was real.
Lorcan’s expression soften. “Then I’ll never get a blowjob.”
“But-”
“Rowan, I’m past the age where I’m ruled by my dick,” he said. “I just want you, baby. Any way I can get you, that’s how I want you.”
Believing him, it was time to make a decision.
Chapter 38
Lorcan~
I felt like the rest of my life was in this moment. With Rowan perched on my lap, looking at me, scared out of her fucking mind that I was going to judge her, this was where we decided if we were worth the effort and heartache guaranteed to come.
And even though I got vindication for Molly all those years ago, I knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that I was going to gather everything I could on Officer Connors and remind him of his past. If Rowan couldn’t live in peace all these years later, then the bastard shouldn’t be able to either.
“I like the way you kiss me,” Rowan said, and she said it so softly, it took me a second to register what she’d said.
“You do, huh?”
She nodded. “It’s like…like you put everything you feel into them.”
“Everything I feel for you,” I clarified.
“It…it was always over my clothes,” she said, and it took me a second to follow her line of thought. When I finally did, I understood this was her way of giving me her permission.
“Rowan, let me be clear here,” I told her. “I have no understanding about what you’ve been through. While I can grasp that it was horrible, I’m not a woman. I’ll never know how you feel, and how what’s happened to you has changed you. So, if we do this, I need you to lead because I don’t know what I’m doing. And the last thing I want to do is hurt you or me.”
Rowan nodded slowly. “O…okay.”
“Then take my hands and put them where you want them, baby,” I told her.
Untying the belt on her rob, Rowan let it drop off her shoulders, and that’s when I saw she was only wearing a purple tank top and white cotton panties.
My breathing was quickly speeding up with anticipation of where we were going tonight, and not only the physical part of it. This woman was trusting me with something she’s never given anyone else, and I was going to guard it fiercely.
My hands tightened on her hips as Rowan reached for the hem of her shirt and pulled it up and over her head. Those huge tits she couldn’t disguise, no matter how professional her attire, were right in my face, and they were as magnificent as I knew they would be. Big, heavy, and firm with hard, pink, nipples, ready for my mouth.
Rowan grabbed my left hand with her right, and placing her hand over mine, intertwining our fingers, making our two hands one, she brought it up and placed it on her right tit. Letting out a low moan, she used my hand to squeeze that big mound, and my dick was filling rapidly beneath her.
When she went to grab my other hand, I closed my eyes and dropped my head back, relishing the feel of her tits in my hands. Her skin was soft, supple, and I wanted to lick it all over.
I wasn’t sure how long we played with her tits, but soon, she was panting. “Lorcan, I want your mouth on me.” My head came up and my eyes snapped open. It was on the tip of my tongue to ask her if she was sure, but I didn’t want to rattle her confidence. Then she really fucked me up when she said, “No one’s ever put their mouth on me before.”
Sweet Baby Jesus.
If no one has ever sucked her tits, then it was probably a safe bet to say that Rowan’s never had her pussy eaten before either. And the thought of being the first man to make her feel those sensations had me damn near losing my mind with it.
“Rowan?” With her hips moving back and forth over my hard dick, she opened her eyes and looked at me. “I need specifics, baby,” I told her. “Tell me what to do.”
Her blue eyes dilated with power, and I had no problem letting her be on top all the time if that’s what she needed. “I…I want you to suck on my tits.”
My dick jumped, and Rowan telling me all the things she wanted me to do to her was a turn on I never saw coming. I was the one who usually did the commanding in the bedroom. Apart from women begging for it harder or faster, I was always the one directing the show. But I could easily get behind this new adventure.
“You need those pretty, little nipples in my mouth, baby?” I asked, and when she let go of my hands, displaying her first sign of complete trust, I leaned forward and took her left nipple in my mouth, and teased it with my teeth.
And she moaned.
She fucking moaned, and the relief I felt was palpable.
With both her tits in my hands, I alternated between both breasts and lavished them with equal attention. I played and sucked on her full tits until her hips were wild in my lap.
My hot breath on her skin, I asked, “You like that? Am I making you wet, Rowan?”
Her arms came around my head, anchoring my face to her chest. “Yes. Oh, God…oh, God, Lorcan…”
“Where else do you want my mouth?” I asked between sucking and biting on her tits. “Where else do you want to feel my lips and tongue?” She froze, and I cursed my stupidity. “Row-”
She pulled back and lust and desire were still swirling in those blue depths. “Can…can you do it without your fin…fingers?”
“I can do it however you want me to,” I growled. “If you just want my tongue between the folds of your wet pussy, then that’s what you’ll get. My tongue only, Rowan.”
“I’ve never…no one’s ever…”
“Tell me, Rowan,” I said encouragingly. “Tell me how you want me to eat your pussy.”
Her entire face openly vulnerable, she said, “I want you to take me to my room, undress, and eat my pussy.”
She didn’t have to fucking tell me twice.
I grabbed her by the hips, lifted her as I stood, and carried her back to her bedroom, wrapped around me like she should always be.
Making our way through her bedroom doorway, Rowan reached out and flipped on the light before I laid her on the bed. And as she removed her panties, finally completely naked for me, I quickly removed all my clothes. Making sure to grab the condom from my wallet, I tossed it on the bed next to her, and when I was finally naked in front of her, I made sure to keep my dick far away from her face as possible. I stood at the edge of the bed, prepared to crawl my way up her body.
“Spread those legs and let me see that pussy, baby.” She did as I asked, and I could see how slicked up she was already. “Show me,” I demanded, and she widened her legs more as she ran her hands down her body, reaching her paradise, and separating her folds and showing me everything.
“Lorcan, please…” she whimpered, and it was everything I wanted to hear from her.
Getting on the bed, I made myself comfortable between her thighs. Her scent filled my nostrils, and she smelled so fucking sweet, I couldn’t wait to taste her secrets.
There was also no question on whether I was in love with this woman or not.
Chapter 39
Rowan~
I was far from freaking out.
Granted, we hadn’t touched on anything that might make me freak out yet, but the way he let me control his hands over my body had been so sensual and seductive, I
think I would have enjoyed that even without my issues.
And now, I could feel his hot breath on the most sensitive part of my body, and I couldn’t wait. I’d never been this turned on before, and Lorcan’s quiet way of demanding I tell him what to do was just so fucking hot.
Lorcan Cavanaugh wasn’t the type of man to be led around. Lorcan was a man always in charge, and the way he was letting me direct how he could please me was like an aphrodisiac. It felt like every part of him was here purely for my pleasure, and that was a different kind of pleasure all on its own.
With his hands on my thighs, pushing me up wider, I felt the first swipe of his tongue through my folds, and I never knew something could feel so decadent. “Oh, God…”
Making out with my pussy, he broke off the kiss long enough to ask, “How does it feel to have your pussy eaten, baby?”
“So good,” I moaned as he went back to what he was doing. There was no way to explain the feeling, and looking past my breasts, the picture he presented looked positively carnal. His dark head was nestled between my legs, his face shiny whenever I caught him looking at his handiwork.
He looked like fucking sin.
I could feel his grip on my thighs tightening, and when his tongue traveled farther south, that was something I never saw coming. “Oh, God…oh, fuck…” I closed my eyes and threw my head back against the pillow, wondering how something so dirty could feel so damn good.
Lapping up everything, Lorcan said, “If you think that tight, little ass isn’t mine also, you’re very mistaken, baby.”
My fingers no longer holding me open for him, my hands tangled in his hair in tight fists. “More,” I begged. “I need more.” His tongue went back to working my clit, but that’s not what I needed, and I was terrified to ask.
And my body must have had a tell, because Lorcan immediately stopped and asked, “What’s wrong?”
I lifted my head and looked down at the gorgeous man, positioned between my thighs, and made a very conscious decision to trust him. “I…I need more, Lorcan.”
Understanding dawned, and he said, “If you freak out, we can start over tomorrow.” He wasn’t asking me or suggesting it, he was telling me.
Nodding, I whispered, “Okay.”
His tongue went back to my clit, and soon, we were back in the rhythm of pleasure and his expertise. But just when I thought he was going to ignore my request, I felt his right hand abandon my left thigh, and the wet sounds of one of his fingers sliding into my pussy filled the room.
And I didn’t freak out.
I felt full and on the verge of satisfaction. I no longer felt empty. I felt the dual sensations of his finger teasing me and his tongue tantalizing me, and now I understood why women insisted on foreplay in the bedroom.
Holy shit, this was hot.
With Lorcan working me up so badly, it wasn’t long before I was reaching for that heavenly explosion. “Lorcan…please…”
“Tell me what you want, baby,” he commanded again.
“One more…one more finger…please…” As soon as a second finger joined the first, I was tipping over. My entire body arched in pleasure, and I was cumming all over his face. “Lorcan…”
“Fuck yeah,” he hissed against my clenching center. “Give it to me, baby.”
I felt nothing but pleasure. No fear. No old ghosts. No regrets. No anxiety. Nothing but pure pleasure, and I knew he was nowhere near finished with me.
My body twitching in the aftermath of euphoria, I was vaguely aware of Lorcan making his way up my body, his lips peppering soft kisses all over my skin.
When his face was above mine, he said, “Open up for me, Rowan. I want to show you how delicious your pussy tastes.” I could feel my entire face flush with the dirtiness of it all, but I complied. I pressed my lips against his, my mouth opened for his tongue, and I could taste my release all over him. We tasted sweet together, and I wasn’t embarrassed by it at all.
I could feel the head of his dick rubbing at my center, and I moved my hips, reaching for the fullness I knew I’d get with Lorcan inside me. “Please…” Past the point of caring about how desperate begging made me look, I fucking begged for the man.
Lorcan reached over to grab the condom, his voice a breathless growl. “I got you, baby.”
“Lorcan?”
He froze, his eyes darting to mine. “Yeah?”
“After…after tonight, we…we get checkups, okay?”
His lips slammed down on mine, and it was another mind-blowing kiss between us. When I was practically dying for it, he whispered in my ear, “You want my cum all over you, Rowan? You want it leaking from your body.”
“Yes,” I cried, wanting to experience everything I’ve denied myself for so long.
Lorcan let out a string of curses as he put on the condom and repositioned himself between my legs. In one swift motion, he was buried to the hilt inside me, his thick length stretching me wide.
“Fuck,” he growled, and this was fucking and making love all at the same time. “Your pussy is so fucking perfect for me.”
“I need you, Lorcan,” I confessed. “I need you so badly.”
“You have me, baby,” he grunted above me. “You have me.”
We were nothing but desperate bodies slapping against each other after that. Neither of us holding back, but both of us very aware of the boundaries.
Baby steps.
When Lorcan hooked my leg around his elbow, there was no stopping his relentless thrusts, and I knew the explosiveness of what to come was going to knock all common sense from my brain. This gorgeous, sexy man was always going to turn me stupid with what he was capable of.
I could only hope to be able to do the same to him.
“I’m cumming, Lorcan,” I cried as the rise of desire started to simmer in my core. “I’m…don’t stop…don’t stop…”
“Not even after you cum all over me, baby,” he promised, and a few more thrusts later, pleasure was like a starburst consuming my body.
Consuming everything.
Chapter 40
Lorcan~
Guzzling my second bottle of water, I left Rowan asleep in her bed. Because Rowan was a no-nonsense kind of personality, the woman had a box of condoms under her bathroom sink, and I’d been able to take her two more times after the first.
Each time more explosive than the last.
We had also talked a bit in between sessions, and it had brought on incredible relief at how she’d been comfortable with me enough to dissect what she was feeling about what we’d done.
The fingering had been concerning for me, but she had assured me that she enjoyed it. The feeling hadn’t been painful and hadn’t felt wrong. I figured it had been because she had already been in the throes of passion, that pain and discomfort had been the farthest things from her mind.
The third time we fucked, she had tested her limits and had begged for four fingers, and it had been dirty and wild. Rowan had even let me finger her ass, and, Christ on The Cross, the woman was wilder than either one of us thought she would be.
Now, I wasn’t stupid enough to believe that just because we got through tonight without any hiccups that there wouldn’t be some in the future. I knew there was chance that her demons might catch her unaware, just like mine might and probably will if I see some asshat hitting on her or something like that. But just like her demons had nothing to do with me, mine had nothing to do with her. They were just issues that we both had to learn to master.
Feeling two soft arms wrap around my waist, I set the empty bottle on the counter, and covered her arms with mine. “Thought you were asleep.”
“I was,” she mumbled against my bare back since I was only dressed in my jeans. “But when I rolled over, you were missing.”
I turned around, and she dropped her arms, heading towards the fridge. She was dressed in my shift, and I liked it.
A lot.
“How are you feeling?”
Rowan looked over her shoulder an
d smirked. “Sore. But something tells me you’re fine with that answer.” Grabbing a water, she shut the refrigerator door and walked back over to me.
I took the bottle from her hands and opened it for her. “Something tells me you might be right about that.” She laughed and shook her head before taking a drink of water.
When she was done, I grabbed her by the hips and planted her fine ass on the counter. “In the kitchen?”
I huffed, offended. “Baby, by the time I’m done with you, I will have fucked you on every surface of your apartment.”
She opened her legs, so I could step in between them. “Is that so?” she said coyly.
I nodded. “Yup, and just wait until we’re at my place.”
Rowan took another drink of her water before saying, “I…I think it’s going to be okay.”
“Baby steps, Rowan,” I told her. “Just because tonight worked out, it doesn’t mean we’re both cured.”
“I know that,” she quickly replied. “I do. I just…I feel like it’s…possible, you know? Like all the things I thought weren’t going to be for me are possible now.”
“That sounds a lot like hope, baby.”
She smiled. “I think that’s exactly what it is.”
I pushed a loose strand of her blonde hair behind her head. “I want to discuss something with you, and…and I’m hoping it doesn’t ruin tonight.”
Her face grew serious. “What is it?”
“For a few reasons, the man in me wants to hunt down that sonofabitch who did this to you,” I told her. “And I already had it all planned out in my head what needed to be done.” Rowan’s face softened, and I really was in love with this woman. “But then I realized I might be doing more harm than good, making a move like that, without discussing it with you first.”
“Lorcan, the man went to jail and his life was ruined for what he did to me,” she said. “I’m okay with that justice.” She shrugged a delicate shoulder. “At first, I wanted him dead, but with time and maturity, I realized that much more worse has been done to many other women who have never gotten justice for what they’ve endured.” She sighed. “I’m not looking to be greedy. And, frankly, the man’s been a part of my life long enough.”
Our Cracked Pieces (The Pieces Series Book 2) Page 14