by Lori Wick
Lily took a peek at them and found them all quite sober. In turn, she finished on a somber note.
"It's no one's fault that this happened. I've had to pray constantly since I woke early Saturday morning. It's not often that I have pain great enough to induce me to such thoughtfulness of my Savior. I'm thankful that this happened, if only to remind me of the horrible place hell is. Not that I'm comparing my pain to that, but it does give one a glimpse. Many people still need my prayers and blameless witness so they will turn their lives to Christ.
"It's always tempting to ask God why He chooses hard paths for me. This time, however, I did not ask. I worked hard to see the reason myself, and I found it. I think this happened to make me more aware of the lost world we live in."
Lily glanced up, first at Ashton and then swiftly to Bailey. At last she looked at Gabe and could not look away.
84
"Was it wrong to say that to you?" "No. You rescued us, Lily. Thank you," said Gabe. "Thanks, Lily." Ashton put his word in, and both men went on their way.
Lily's gaze went back to Bailey. The older woman was smiling a little.
"I have something for you." "Okay."
Bailey held up a scrap of fabric.
"I got sunburned a number of years ago, and the worst part was my shoulders. I wore this in the house and found it offered great relief."
"What is it?"
"A tube top."
"I don't think I've heard of it."
"It's exactly what it sounds like. It's stretchy and surrounds the body without straps or sleeves, just like a tube. In fact, with as slim as you are, you could step right into it and pull it over your breasts, and then you can slip out of your shirt. You're not wearing a bra, are you?"
Lily answered in the negative, even as she was gaining a picture of what Bailey was suggesting.
"I'm not sure I can sit around here and be that bare," she made herself admit.
"It's true that your shoulders will be exposed, Lily, but you're not going to be immodest. Your small figure will be perfectly covered in this tube top, and you'll be remarkably comfortable compared to wearing any type of top or shirt that touches your shoulders."
Lily was tempted, but her face heated at the thought of the men returning and seeing her sitting there without a shirt. "I don't think I can."
"Okay," Bailey said, knowing she would have to let it go. "I'll leave it with you, though. Maybe you'll just want to wear it to bed with a pair of shorts."
85
"Thank you."
"Are you up to seeing the children?"
"Yes, that's fine, but I think I should mention one other thing to you. These water blisters are going to start to burst, and my bed is such a nice one. Maybe I should try to sleep elsewhere."
"No, it's fine, Lily. Your bed has a mattress pad, and whenever the sheets need to be changed, we'll just do it."
"Okay. Thank you."
The children came and a video was started, but Lily didn't last very long. She dozed in and out, wondering if she would ever have energy again.
"I didn't know she had that many words inside her," Ashton said to Gabe when they both ended up in the kitchen an hour later.
"And so eloquently said too. Had she looked at me too soon, she would have found my mouth hanging open."
"I must admit to you, Gabe, that the different things Jeff has said over the years didn't make sense until Lily spoke to us today."
Gabe was on the verge of agreeing when the phone rang. He was closest and picked it up.
"Hello."
Ashton watched him smile as he listened and knew exactly what was going on.
"By the way," he heard Gabe say matter-of-factly, "I've decided not to marry you."
Gabe listened then and laughed at his own joke.
"Give me the phone," Ashton ordered, and after a few more words, Gabe obeyed.
"Is it really you this time?" the woman on the other end asked. It was Ashton's fiancée, Deanne Talbot.
"Yes. One of these days he's going to keep from laughing, and you'll think I've really broken off with you."
"We'll have to come up with some code word."
86
"Either that, or you could drop out of school and come home and marry me right now."
"You don't know how tempting that is." "Why? What's going on?"
"I'm just tired, I think, and even though I studied for hours on my U.S. history exam, I didn't do that well. But mostly, California is not Hawaii."
"It's just a few more months," Ashton said for himself as much as Deanne. Just hearing her voice made him ache with longing. "It's three months, eleven days, and approximately six hours." "I love it when you do the math."
Deanne laughed on the other end, and they talked for most of the next hour. By the time they hung up, California was no closer to Hawaii, but both of them felt a little better.
Evan didn't see his wife until he was almost done with his laps. She had pulled a chair close and was sitting at the edge of the pool, watching him. After spotting her, he swam the length of the pool underwater, his blond head breaking the surface at the three-foot end and coming up to smile at her.
"Hi."
"Hi, yourself." "Wanna come in?" "Maybe later."
"You sound sad," he commented. "I'm not just tired." "Typical for this time of year."
"I'm always surprised by that. I always think I'm going to have more energy when the guests are gone, and here I need a nap."
"Give it a few more weeks. How are you doing with Lily around?"
"You know," Bailey said, as though she had just thought of it, "it's easy. She's neat and polite and keeps to herself so much of the time. I mean, I feel a certain amount of stress and pain with her
87
being so burned, but she's one of the most undemanding people I've ever known."
"What is she doing now?"
"She's still sitting with the kids in front of the television, but I think most of the time she's sleeping."
"I told the kids we would swim later. Are you going to join us?"
Bailey looked at him a moment.
"Are we going to swim a little later on our own?"
Evan smiled. "I think that could be arranged."
Bailey smiled as she moved to put the chair back.
"I'd better check on the kids."
"All right. I'll be coming in a bit."
Evan watched her walk away, enjoying her figure from the back. He eventually went back to his laps, but exercise was not really what he had on his mind.
"This is Nan," Celia said to Lily, nearly shoving a photo in her face. "Oh."
"Her name is Deanne," Peter filled Lily in. "She's gonna be our aunt."
"How nice," Lily said, still feeling a bit out of it.
She blinked owlishly at the screen and then noticed that Bailey was asleep next to Peter. At almost the same moment Lily realized that she needed to be excused. She tried to focus on the video but soon gave up. There was no help for it. It was going to hurt to move, but move she must.
Walking slowly, Lily headed for the small bathroom situated just off the foyer. It seemed to her that everything took forever, and she wondered at the fact that most body parts were taken for granted, at least until they were injured.
"I think I need food," Lily said quietly to give herself courage as she finished in the bathroom and walked to the kitchen.
88
something cold and sweet sounded good. Maneuvering gingerly, Lily went straight to the refrigerator.
When Gabe came in a few minutes later, Evan on his heels, they found her trying to cut a slice of watermelon.
I'm glad to see you," Lily forced herself to say the moment the outside door closed. "Will you please help me get some watermelon?"
"Sure." Gabe was already headed her way. Although he had thanked her for rescuing them, it had been hard to leave her today. He had gone for a run on the beach in an effort not to sit around and stare at her. Evan had finished his la
ps in the pool, and they had come in together.
"How wide?"
"Maybe half an inch."
It was hard to cut it that thin, so Lily ended up with more than she needed, but in a blissfully brief amount of time, she had a plate in front of her and was taking that first cool bite. It tasted so good that the nausea she had been experiencing immediately began to recede.
"How are you feeling?" Evan asked, taking a seat across from her.
Lily stopped and thought. "My stomach needed food, so that's better, but the burning is unlike anything I've ever known. I almost want to shiver at the thought of what happened to my skin, but then that would be moving, and I don't wish to do that."
Evan blinked at the change in her voice. She still didn't have much eye contact with them, but she sounded the most confident he had ever heard her.
"Did you get some sleep?" Gabe asked, having started on his own slice of melon.
"I did, yes." Lily glanced up as she answered, absently wondering why it was easier to have eye contact with Gabe.
"Good. And what will you do for the rest of the day?"
"I don't know. Do you know if my brother is calling today?"
"I'm not certain. Maybe he will this evening."
89
Lily nodded, thinking that would make sense because Jeff was working. On the heels of that thought, she tried to remember the time difference on the mainland. While taking another bite of watermelon, Lily wondered, not for the first time, exactly where Jeff was.
Suddenly she wanted cheese. She had eaten only about five bites of the fruit in front of her and might want more, but cheese sounded very good to her at the moment. Going against the feelings inside of her to keep to herself and wanting to make a genuine effort to make this "home," Lily rose and went to the refrigerator again. She knew where the cheese was kept and pulled out a block.
For a moment the pain on her shoulders was so intense that she halted. She shut the door to the fridge but moved no farther.
"Are you all right?" Evan asked to her back.
"I think I will be," she said.
Celia chose that moment to join them. She saw the food and went right to Lily. "I have cheese?"
"Certainly," Lily said, but her voice was strained.
The men hadn't even waited to hear from her. Gabe was not about to let Lily wait on Celia in her condition. So while Evan saw his daughter to a chair, Gabe took the cheese from Lily.
"I'll cut you some and put it on the table. You can sit back down when you're ready."
"Thank you."
Gabe hesitated. "Can I do something for you first?"
"No, thank you. I just need a moment."
Gabe took her at her word, although it took some effort, and returned to the table. He made himself carry on, but the horrible helplessness and blame was returning. He had told Jeff they would take care of her, and he'd let his friend down.
It did much for his heart to see Lily eventually come back to the table and eat some of the cheese he had cut. It wasn't much, but he figured her stomach might still be upset.
90
And he was right. Lily would have enjoyed a little more food, but her skin still smelled like the hospital, and that was making her feel a little ill. She would have liked a bath but knew how much she would have to use her arms to get in and out of a bathtub. Without giving it much thought, she asked, "Did the doctor say if I could swim or not?"
Gabe had all he could do to keep his mouth closed.
"You can't go out in the sun, Lily," Evan informed her.
"Oh, that's right."
"Did you want to swim?" Gabe questioned.
"Not really," she answered, wishing she had kept her mouth shut. "I can still smell the stuff they put on me, and I wasn't sure I could stand a shower or bath."
"If we could make the pool work, we would get you out there, Lily," Gabe told her before he realized he had the answer. "I know! We'll cool the water in the hot tub and have you get in that. It's small and easier to manage."
Lily wanted to ask if he was certain, but she kept quiet, partly because he was old enough to tell her the truth, and partly because the pain was crowding in again.
"Hey, Lily." Bailey came to the kitchen to find her. "Someone set a little bag of medicine on the dining room table. Have you been keeping up with this stuff?"
Keeping up with this stuff was a new phrase to Lily, so for a moment she didn't answer.
"Is it mine?" she asked at last.
"Yes," Bailey said and handed it to her.
Lily remembered as soon as she looked inside.
"If those are pain pills, Lily," Bailey went on to say, not wanting to sound like a mother but no longer willing to assume anything where this woman was concerned, "you're probably in need of one. You've been home for almost four hours, and that's about how long they last."
Lily could have sighed with relief. At the hospital they had led her to believe that she would feel a little better every day, and here she was feeling quite miserable again.
91
"Thank you, Bailey," she said simply and began to read the instructions. She rose to get a glass of water, hoping and praying as she took the pills that relief was on the way.
"Its time for the tube top." Bailey surprised Lily when she came to her room after dinner to find her. "Why is that?"
"Aren't you going in the hot tub?" "Yes."
"It's like this, Lily. Trying to get the suit over your shoulders and miss your burns will kill you."
The older woman gave her a moment to compute this. It didn't work.
"I'm afraid I still don't understand."
"You have strap marks on your shoulders, right?"
"Yes."
"Well, trying to get the suit in just the right place never works until after you've rubbed your burn more than you want to. And I would have to guess that you don't want your burned shoulders rubbed at all."
"No, I don't."
"You can just wear the tube top and some shorts. I'll go out with you. Don't worry about the guys. They'll leave us to ourselves."
Lily knew it was time to acquiesce. "Maybe it is for the best." "Come down whenever you're ready to go." "All right. Thank you, Bailey."
"No problem," she said with a smile and went on her way.
They're so kind and caring, Lord. I still feel like an interloper, but not because of them. Help me to be a gracious receiver. I had determined to come here and contribute to the household, and now that I can't, my pride has surfaced.
Lily found utter peace as she continued to stand in her room, dressing slowly in her swim outfit and confessing her sins to the
92
Lord. She saw how much she had been moving on her plan and not His. She had not been thankful, and by constantly second-guessing all of her actions and words, she was making herself ill.
Is God in charge here or not, lily? When did He call and tell you to take over? Be yourself with these people! Say the things you're thinking and stop fearing their rejection. What kind of friends would Jefferson have if they treated you with scorn because you might say the wrong word or thought?
Confession made, pep talk over, shorts in place, and tube top stepped into, Lily moved to the door. She stopped for a towel in the hallway and then went below, thinking that no amount of physical pain could compare with being at odds with God, her Creator.
"It simply doesn't work," she said quietly. "What doesn't work?" Bailey asked from the bottom of the stairs.
Lily had not even seen her, but she still admitted, "My being in charge. I'm just not that good at doing God's job."
Bailey laughed and added, "And you know the worst part? I have to relearn that almost every day."
"I know just what you mean."
The children accompanied Lily and Bailey to the hot tub. It was right in the pool area, which was now quite shaded, but Lily had never noticed it. And it was large. It looked as if eight adults could sit in the molded seats very comfortably.
"I'm going to get out and look all around this place one of these days," she said as she followed her hostess. "I didn't even know this was here."
"We'll do a grand tour as soon as you feel up to it."
"Have I thanked you, Bailey?" Lily stopped and asked. "Have I told you how much I appreciate all of this?"
"Yes, Lily, you have. You not only say the words, but we can tell you're thankful."
"Our memory verse on Sunday was about thankfulness," Peter suddenly told them.
93
"What was it, Pete?" his mother asked as she stepped aside to let Lily go in.
"'Oh give thanks to the Lord.'" "Where is it found?" "I forget."
"1 Chronicles 16:8?" Lily asked.
"That's it!" Peter said, his little mouth rounding in surprise. "Do you know that verse?"
"I think I do. Does it go on to say, 'Call upon His name; make known His deeds among the peoples'?"
"I don't know. We just learned 'Oh, give thanks to the Lord."*
Lily also wanted to thank the little boy. Talking with him had taken her mind off getting into the water, and so she had simply done it. It was not completely comfortable, but getting better all the time. The temperature was at almost the same level as her skin, and so other than her back, shoulders, and arms, she could barely feel it.
"Do you want to be splashed?" Celia suddenly asked. She was standing on one of the built-in benches next to Lily.
"Well," Lily began, a little confused.
"Another time, CeCe," her mother intervened. Then she explained to Lily: "Our rule on that issue is that you only splash people who want to be splashed."
Lily nodded and turned back to the little girl.
"As soon as I can go swimming again, you can splash me. How will that be?"
Celia nodded. "I do splashing good."
Thinking that Celia looked adorable in her little blue swimsuit, Lily smiled and shifted her back so her shoulders could sink below the water a bit more. At the same time, her head went back against the curved seat. She closed her eyes, and for the first time since she woke with the burn, Lily let herself relax.