by Tay Marley
His smooth tongue moved expertly against my own as his hands traveled down the length of my waist, across my hips, and onto the soft satin that caressed my thighs. We clawed at each other as if we couldn’t get close enough, the hard brick wall behind me no doubt creating indents on my back, but at that point a natural disaster could have taken place and I don’t think that I’d have noticed.
I could feel his swollen length pressed against my stomach through the soft, silky fabric, and it drew a moan from deep within me. His pace picked up in response, his hands winding in my hair and pulling my head back to expose my throat, which he dragged his hot mouth along, kissing and sucking his way to my collarbone. “In case it wasn’t obvious,” he murmured, still kissing my throat. “You look so fucking gorgeous.”
I stared up the starry sky, gasping in ecstasy, completely at the mercy of his touch and coming undone at his words.
His mouth worked its way back up to my own, crashing against me furiously and urgently. His arm wound around my waist, pressing our bodies impossibly close together, his rock-hard chest felt beyond sensual, and I undid another button as we continued to kiss with need. I ran my hands across his pecs and chest, something I’d wanted to do since I first saw that sculpted masterpiece. My touch drew a throaty groan from him, which reverberated right through me, igniting more need than I thought was possible.
“Come with me?” he mumbled against my mouth, continuing to pepper me with wet, hot, needy kisses.
I wanted to follow him. I wanted to follow him anywhere he wanted to go, but the reality of the situation reminded me that I couldn’t. It reminded me that I shouldn’t even be doing this right now.
“I can’t,” I gasped and leaned away from his dangerous mouth. “Dray, I can’t. I’m here with someone else.”
He leaned against the wall, encasing me between his arms as we both desperately tried to catch our breath. I’d messed his hair up, quite significantly, and I was sure mine didn’t look a lot better. Our breathless panting could probably be heard from miles away. But it didn’t seem to matter. Nothing did. Drayton’s eyes flickered between mine and my mouth, and he looked as though he was going to kiss me again. I wanted that. I wanted it all, all of him, all night long. But I was there with someone else, and even I couldn’t go so far as to leave Cooper at a dance where he didn’t know anyone.
“Yeah,” he huffed and straightened up. “You are here with someone else. I’m sorry.”
He leaned back in and placed a soft, chaste kiss against my swollen lips before he caressed my cheek and walked away. I was left leaning against the wall with the spins. I’d had a lot of kisses and not one had been in league with that.
I could only feel a fraction of guilt for what I’d just done. The high was still very much in place, and Cooper was a faint thought somewhere in the back of my mind. That was until I began walking back inside, only to find him leaning against the gym wall at the corner, a sad smile on his face.
“Cooper?” I attempted to fix the disheveled state that my hair is in. “How long have you been standing there?”
“Long enough.”
“Cooper, I—”
“I guess I should have seen it coming.” He twisted on the heel of his foot and began to walk in the other direction.
“Wait. Ple—”
“You could have told me.” He turned around and I almost bumped into him. I felt sick for being the cause of his distress. “You could have just said, ‘I’m not interested. Go home. You’re wasting your time.’”
“I—It—I didn’t want to be rude. You came here just for me. I didn’t—It would have felt—I mean, I didn’t want to ruin the weekend. It didn’t seem fair to brush you off when you had nowhere else to go.”
I was sobbing. Not because I was scared of losing his friendship—that would be awful—but because he seemed so hurt and frustrated, and I felt terrible.
“Don’t, don’t be upset.” He sighed and sat down on the steps. “You’re not really to blame here. I arrived without warning and with how complicated things seemed between you and Drayton, I should have known that it was wishful thinking that you would be available.”
“I am sorry.” I sat down beside him.
“Don’t be.” He smiled and stared in front of him. The soft night breeze tousled his hair and chilled the surface of my skin. It was getting colder but I was well aware my anxiety over the situation was making me feel ten times worse. “I get it, you know. You guys have this thing. It’s pretty obvious that you’re trying to fight it.”
“I’m failing,” I admitted.
“I’ve been in Drayton’s position before—I’ve had to watch the girl that I love move on with someone because a future wasn’t in our cards. It hurts.”
“Drayton doesn’t love me.” I quickly denied the notion, not wanting the ache in my heart to become any worse.
“I wouldn’t be so sure about that.” He nudged my arm with a playful smile. “The way someone looks at you can say a lot about how they feel. You both look at each other as though . . . as though no one else around you exists.”
“So, what happened? With the girl that you love?”
“Her family was originally from India, really traditional. They moved here when she was young, and we went to high school together. We went to separate colleges, but we made it work. I loved her. Unfortunately, her parents had arranged for her to marry someone else when she was a child. It’s not super common but it does exist in some families.
“So anyway, when it came time for her to get engaged, she tried to end things between us. But it never worked. We always found our way back to each other. It was so hard to know that her heart belonged to me. I begged her to call it off, to be with me. I was willing to marry her if that’s what it took, but she knew that she’d get shunned from her family and she felt that she couldn’t lose them.”
His tone was almost bitter, like he resented the families involved. I supposed I would have too.
“Anyway, after they got married, her husband moved them back to India. I think he knew something was going on. We had one last night together, and I haven’t seen her in over six months. If she was to show up here, right now, I’d go to her in a heartbeat.”
By the end of his story he looked worn and defeated, and I swiped the tear that slipped down my cheek as I sniffled.
“I know that feeling you two share,” he continued with a firm voice. “You’ll always find your way back to each other because no one else can compare. And Drayton hates me—I know that because I hated Priya’s husband. A lot. But I wouldn’t want to come between what you have.” He rested his hand on my knee. “Don’t lose it. Make it work.”
“I don’t know if it’s that easy.”
“Because of the distance?”
“That,” I confirmed with a small sob. “And his reputation. My inability to trust men. The fact that my feelings for him overwhelm me doesn’t help. It sort of scares me.”
“Communicate. Talk it over and figure out what it is that you both want. You’ll never get anywhere if you don’t.”
The thought of telling Drayton just how much I cared about him scared me, even if what Cooper said was logical. I wasn’t used to being so vulnerable and exposed. “I really am sorry for messing you around.” I gently dabbed at the teardrops on my cheeks so that I didn’t ruin my makeup too much. “You deserve a lot better than someone who’s hung up on another guy.”
“Like I already said, don’t worry about it.” He stood up and offered me his hand, pulling me to my feet with ease. “Would it be horrible if I said that I was kind of using you too? Trying to get over Priya?”
“That actually makes me feel better.”
We both laughed and a sense of relief washed over me. Cooper said, “Look, I’m going to head home. I’ll stop at your place and grab my things first.”
“I’ll come with you.” I started down
the concrete steps but was intercepted by his tall frame.
“Please stay. Salvage the rest of your homecoming dance, okay? Talk to Drayton. It’s fine—I’m sure that your brother will be more than happy to see me out.”
I groaned. “I’ll call him and tell him to ease up.”
I waited with Cooper while he ordered an Uber, the conversation taking a less heavy turn as we discussed idle topics. I promised that when I moved to California, I’d seek him out as a new friend so that I didn’t have to battle being a first year alone. Things felt like they were in a good place when the Uber pulled away, and he gave me a small wave from the passenger window.
“Where have you been?” Gabby asked as I walked back into the gym. She and Josh were huddled by the punch bowl.
I didn’t immediately offer an answer because I was too busy scanning the area in hopes of finding my quarterback. Cooper was right—we should at least have a conversation about what that kiss meant. Did he want to be more than friends? Did he just want something physical? I wished I knew but it was so hard to tell with him.
“Is that a hickey?” Gabby shrieked.
A slapping noise sounded as I brought my hand to my neck, covering the spot where Drayton had been devouring me not more than twenty minutes earlier. Josh and Gabby watched me while I stuttered to come up with some excuse that they wouldn’t believe for even a moment.
“Were you and Cooper getting in a little quickie action in the janitor’s closet?”
“I don’t know a single person who’d screw in the janitor’s closet. Have you been in there? It stinks, it’s cramped, and it’s full of cleaning supplies. We have locker rooms or classrooms that’d work far better.”
Gabby rolled her eyes but what caught my attention was Josh, who was staring at me with an accusatory glare. “Drayton just came through here not too long ago.” He pointed at me with a calculating grin. “He looked all scruffy and undone.”
“Where is Cooper?!” Gabby sucked all of the oxygen out of the room.
“He . . . He—he left. He went home.”
I explained the entire situation from beginning to end because honestly, I wanted to talk about it more. I didn’t think I’d entirely recovered from the mind-blowing session. My best friend was many things—loyal, hilarious, tech savvy—but she wasn’t calm, and news that thrilled her, killed her. She was doing her best not to burst into an ear-piercing scream, which I appreciated, because they did my head in.
“What does this mean for you both?” She stepped forward and folded my hand between her own. “Are you going to tell him how you feel?”
“I think I have to,” I told her, taking a moment to sweep the room for the millionth time. “I suppose I’ll have to find him first.”
“He disappeared pretty quickly,” Josh informed us. He pulled his cell phone out of his suit pocket and tapped the screen with his thumbs. “I’ll call him.”
“Hey, man, we’re looking for you? Where’d you go?”
Josh listened for the response. He turned around and lowered his voice, which only prompted me to step forward so I could hear what was being said.
“Why can’t I tell her?” he asked in a hushed tone. “She wants to talk to you about something, bro. Just come back.”
Josh’s shoulders rose and fell with a deep breath as he ran his hand through his hair. The conversation wasn’t giving me a very positive vibe and my stomach sank when he ended the phone call, turning around with an apologetic look etched on his face.
“He . . . He wasn’t feeling well.” Josh gave me a tight smile.
He was lying, I knew. And he knew that I knew. The urge to press for details simmered under my tongue. But I didn’t want to put him in an uncomfortable position, so I kept my mouth shut, reduced to a feeling of utter disappointment.
“Excuse me, babe.” Gabby folded her arms with a pointed glare. “Tell us what he said.”
“Please don’t make me,” Josh pleaded. “You know that I love you, but respect the Bro Code.”
“I will do no such thing,” she bit back. “My best friend wants to talk to that idiot and you bett—”
“Gabs, stop,” I cut her off, placing an arm on her shoulder. I appreciated the fierce instinct to get the information that I so desperately wanted to hear, but I would rather not get between her and her boyfriend or him and his best friend. “I don’t need to know. I’ll just—I’ll talk to him on Monday.”
“No! What if something happens in that time? Like, what if he has to move across the country? What if your feelings go away or you change your mind!”
“I didn’t talk to Drayton for an entire month and the moment that he approached me, we were eating each other’s faces,” I said sarcastically. “I don’t think another day is going to change the way I feel.”
“I suppose,” she pouted defiantly. “You know how long I’ve been waiting for you to realize this though, right? Now I have to wait even longer. It sucks.”
Deep down I shared her feelings. It wasn’t like I’d planned on running into his arms and declaring my undying love, but a simple confession that yes, I did have feelings for him, and, yes, it was scaring me, and I wasn’t sure exactly what to do with this new, or not so new, revelation, was more of the approach I’d been planning.
My dress was draped over the end of my bed. There was a small gap in the curtains that allowed the dim light to peep through. This morning felt colder. I reached out and snatched my cell phone from the side-table drawer before I snuggled deeper under the comforter. There were no new messages from Drayton. He hadn’t responded to the one that I sent him last night. I hadn’t wanted to overdo it, so I kept it simple.
Hey. Cooper’s gone home. I just thought that we could talk. Let me know when you get time?
It was ten in the morning and there was a definite urge to send him another message. But I resisted and leaped out of bed, leaving the phone behind so that it was out of sight but, unfortunately, not out of mind. Sort of like last night’s kiss. I touched the wall as I wandered down the hall toward the living room. I felt like I needed to ground myself whenever I remembered what it was like experiencing the best kiss that I’d ever felt before. Feelings made a hell of a difference during a lip-lock.
“Morning, kid,” Nathan mumbled from the couch where he was sprawled with the remote in his hand and his boxer shorts on. Sunday.
I waved lazily and wandered into the kitchen in search of coffee. I realized that I should have put on something warmer before I left my bedroom. Little shorts and a tank top didn’t protect a whole lot from the midmorning chill. But my robe was so far away. I’d deal for now.
“So,” Nathan called while I poured milk into a cup. “Carter packed up and left lightning fast last night. What happened there?”
“His name is Cooper,” I sighed. “And nothing happened. That you need to know about.”
“He hurt you? I’ll shiv him.”
“Relax,” I slid the coffee jar back into its spot beside the microwave and picked up the hot coffee. “I was the one who hurt him. Sort of.”
Nathan watched me with confusion as I walked in and sat down on the single seater beside the sofa. I took a sip and he sat up. “Wait. What the hell happened?”
“And men call women gossipers. Look at you. Desperate for the details.”
“I need to know,” he defended himself. “You’re my little sister. It’s a matter of protection and all of that.”
“I kissed someone else at the dance and he saw it,” I groaned. “Okay?”
“Wow. What a coldhearted witch. After he came all that wa—”
“Nathan.” I threw a cushion at him—being cautious not to spill the coffee—and he laughed.
“I’m kidding, who was it? The quarterback, I bet.”
“It was.”
He gasped. “It was?”
“Enough.”
“When did this arrive?” I placed the coffee on the floor beside the chair. I turned the envelope over and almost choked on air. “Nathan! It’s from CalArts.”
Paper tore. My heart pounded and the words were almost a blur while I attempted to read each line. Nathan stood in front of me while I mumbled under my breath.
“I got an audition!”
We both screamed. Well, I screamed. Nathan shouted with a deep voice but total enthusiasm. I stood up and we hugged while I bounced up and down. It couldn’t have come at a better time. This was a blessing—the perfect way to lift my spirits and remind me of what was important—my goals and dreams.
“So proud of you, kid.” Nathan held me at arm’s length and smiled an enormous smile full of pride. “California here we come, huh?”
“It says the audition is December 17.” I read the letter again. The paper trembled in my hand. It was going to be framed. “That’s a month and a half from now.”
“You’re sorted.” Nathan shrugged. “You’ve been practicing the routine tons, right? It’s that one to the song ‘I Get To Love You’. By Ruelle.”
“That’s the one.” I folded the paper and inhaled a deep breath. “But it has to be perfect. Perfect.”
He gave me a nudge in the shoulder. “It will be. You’re talented as hell. You’ve got this.”
My dream was closer. I hadn’t heard back from the other two colleges, but the fact that my dream school had allowed me an audition was surreal. Nathan sighed and picked up the television remote. “I have a date later. I should get sorted.”
“Another one,” I mumbled with mild distaste. I was still reading the letter over and over again. “Is this a repeat date or another newbie?”
“Her name is Alana.” He grinned. “She’s a new teacher’s aide at the junior high. That’s all I need to know.”
It would have been nice if he’d suggested that we go out for a celebratory meal or at the least had a beer together. Whatever. It was what it was. I’d almost forgotten that I had a coffee. So I picked it up—still clutching the letter—and sipped it while Nathan flicked through the television channels. We’d just sort of come to a standstill in the living room, as if moving or sitting back down could shatter this dream state that we were in.