by Laura Pohl
“It’s too much of a coincidence. A whole week missing after decades of meticulous reports?”
“You think someone wiped them out on purpose?”
I nod without turning to look at him. I’m on my third drawer now, barely glancing at the documents, except to look at dates.
“Why would they?”
“I don’t know,” I say, but I have a gut feeling. “I saw something, though. It was on the reports for two or three weeks before they go missing.”
“A spaceship?”
Now it’s my turn to look at him, surprised.
“I can put two and two together, Clover.”
“I’m glad you were an exemplary student,” I say, and he brushes off my comment with an eye roll. “But yeah. An unidentified flying object, heading straight for Earth. The reports are pretty steady, and the size described is close to the one downstairs.”
“And after that?”
“Nothing.”
“Which makes you wonder.”
“Exactly.”
We both go quiet. We’re used to having aliens around now. But if that spaceship really did land here fifteen years ago, that changes things. It means that we’ve dealt with this before. It means that these aliens are not the first of their kind to visit Earth.
I look at the next file and a name catches my eye. andrea walsh is written in black capital letters, along with some other names I don’t recognize. Behind it are a couple of other files, one on a project for a new satellite launch and another file labeled insider.
I take it in my hands just as Adam whispers excitedly, “Found it!”
I almost jump at his words. I scoot over and Adam hands the file to me. There are no names on the front of the folder, which is strange.
I open the file. On the first page, there is a date. I turn the pages and hold my breath. There are more than fifty pages of a thick manuscript, and another attached file.
I recognize three things immediately.
First, Melinda Deveraux’s signature is on every page of the document.
Second, a faded photo shows what looks like a meteor but has a strange shape to it.
And third, every single page has been redacted.
Chapter 30
On the morning of D-day, while everyone is getting ready, I separate some water and rations for Sputnik. She keeps circling around my legs, her fluffy tail beating against my jeans, as if she can feel the tension in the air.
I eat breakfast while Avani and Rayen review their checklists. My pulse is electric in my veins. Rayen guides us to the armory and shows us our options. We pick up pistols, rifles, and anything else that might be useful. We’re each equipped with three powerful stun guns, in the hopes that we can short-circuit the aliens before they attack. Rayen gives me bullets for Abuelo’s gun and a rifle, in case I need them.
Sputnik follows me back to the dormitory, her paws padding softly against the floor. I put food in her bowl, but she sniffs it and doesn’t touch it.
“You be good,” I tell her, crouching down and putting my hands behind her ears, cradling her big face with my hands. “No jumping or scratching at doors.”
She wags her tail.
I need to move, but I can’t.
Sputnik has been with me since Week Five. That’s when I found her, in the garbage, trying to find something to eat. Her eyes were hungry and desperate, but there was something about her that caught my attention. And ever since then, I’ve never left her behind. She’s often the one who kept me from going over the edge. She always managed to pull me back on time.
She circles around me, like the satellite that she is, and waits for me to say something else.
For the first time, I consider that maybe this plan really is stupid, that maybe we’re all going to end up dead because of me. I put this plan in motion, but I might not be the one who gets to see Sputnik again.
“Hey,” I tell her, my voice breaking just a little. “It’s going to be okay. It’s going to be all right.”
She licks my face. I can’t go back now. I hug her neck, squeezing it tight, my face against her fur, but I don’t let go.
“Everyone is waiting for you.” Adam steps inside the room, his hands in his pockets.
I get up, my throat tight. “I was just finishing up,” I tell him.
He looks over at me and Sputnik and steps closer.
His eyes meet mine for a second, and there’s tension there, the same tension I so often felt with Noah.
I don’t want to be the same way with Adam as I was with Noah. I want things to be simple, and for all of these people to like me, flaws and all. I want to feel like it doesn’t matter who I am or that I’m an outsider—I just want to belong here. I want to be friends. I want to have friends. I want Adam to joke around with me and Brooklyn to flash that crazy smile of hers. I want to bond with Avani and Flint over science, play video games with Andy, and have target practice with Rayen. I realize that even Violet is part of this—she’s the boss, but she’s more like me than any of the others.
“Hey, Adam?” I say, looking up. My fingers pick at my newly washed jeans.
“Yeah?”
“Can I be one hundred percent honest with you?”
He looks startled for a second, and I can hear my rational side telling me to shut up. But I also feel like I might regret it for the rest of my life if I don’t take this leap right now.
“Okay. Go ahead.”
I almost wince. “You know this thing? Whatever you think is going on between me and you? It’s not happening.” I might as well have punched him, by the look on his face. My stomach churns.
He nods. “Is this because of your ex-boyfriend?”
I bite my lip. “Yes… No.” I sigh. “I don’t really know.”
Adam nods again, trying to understand. “Do I remind you of him? Did you love him?”
“I don’t know.” I give him an apologetic smile and look at my feet. But there’s nothing to apologize for—there’s only the truth that I’ll never find out.
When I look up again, Adam is laughing. “I thought you knew everything.”
“Seriously?”
“Yeah. How can you not know? Why did you two even go out in the first place?”
I laugh. Noah and I were the unlikeliest of pairs, and I think that’s why we became such good friends in the end. “He wanted to steal my homework. So he asked me out.”
Adam wriggles his eyebrows. “And you accepted?”
“It was…” I can’t finish the sentence. Conflicted feelings are roaring inside me. “I wanted to know what it was like. Everyone has this thing about finding love, everyone wants that romantic thing so desperately… And I wanted to know if Noah was my chance at that.”
Adam listens silently to my confession, nodding. I struggle with the words and the explanations and the feelings that, after all this time, still haven’t settled.
“I never felt that romantic connection with Noah. But I’ve never liked anyone that way,” I say, motioning with my hands. “Sure, I’ve thought guys were hot before. Girls, too. It wasn’t a big deal. But feelings never had anything to do with it.”
I find my fingers behind Sputnik’s ears. She helps ease away the anxiety burning in my brain. I’ve never told anyone these things before. I’ve never discussed them out loud. But when I look up at Adam, he’s still paying attention. He doesn’t look weirded out.
“And so?”
I shrug. “I never felt anything more for him than just being friends. We broke up a month before the aliens attacked.” Silence fills the room for a moment, then I continue. “But it was really hard to do, because he was just so nice. How could I tell him that I didn’t love him the way he loved me? I thought I was broken somehow. I realize now that it wasn’t really about Noah—I’m just not into romantic relationships. With anyon
e. I guess I just need people who I can call friends.”
I give him a small smile, and he nods. Maybe he understands, maybe he doesn’t understand at all. My feelings about Noah are still conflicted. I enjoyed his company, but he was needy all the time. We almost never agreed on anything. He was my friend, yes, but he wanted us to be something that I don’t need. And deep down, the meanest part of me still thinks that he should’ve run faster. A part of me is just glad that it was him and not me.
There isn’t pity in Noah’s eyes. Adam’s eyes. And for the first time, I can see the difference between them.
“You couldn’t have done anything to save him,” Adam says. He’s levelheaded about it. “You know that, Clover.”
“I do,” I say, and I mean it sincerely. “I just wish that I could feel bad about it. I should feel bad about it. So I just keep running the scene over and over and over again in my head.”
And it never changes. Not one single thing. I always watch Noah die.
“You don’t have to feel bad about it.”
“I should, though.”
He shrugs. “Who knows? I mean, it’s not our fault that we survived the end of the world. We’re just the losers who got forgotten. We spend enough time feeling sorry for ourselves. I don’t think we should have to feel damn sorry for everybody else, too.”
“We’re fucked up.”
He laughs. “Yeah, we are.”
“I just wanted to be honest,” I finally say. “I like you, Adam. Enough that I felt like I could tell you the truth.”
“And what’s the truth?”
“That I’m a horrible human being?” I shrug. “Maybe that’s why the aliens spared me.”
“I hear that,” he says, and I can tell that there’s some meaning behind it. I don’t know Adam well enough to know what he’s done in his life. But I know human beings, and we’re all capable of doing our worst.
Maybe Adam is more like me than I thought.
Maybe all of them are.
I look at Sputnik again, my heart hammering in my chest. As scary as that was, I’m glad I got it out. Because even if we have the advantage of being invisible, I’ve still got a bad feeling about this plan.
I scratch behind Sputnik’s ears one more time.
“One of us has to come back here, okay?” I say to Adam. “I’m not going to let this dog starve.”
He stretches out his hand, and I grip it.
“I promise you, we’ll all come back,” he says. “Promise me you’ll come back fine.”
“I’ll come back fine.”
We shake on it.
“You ready?” he asks.
I nod.
I’m not. But I can always lie to myself.
Chapter 31
The drive is bumpy. Adam, Rayen, and I ride in the truck that pulls the plane. This time, I leave the speedy Blackbird behind, choosing the reliable F-15 Eagle, which can be flown with one pilot and is highly maneuverable. It’s equipped with eight missiles and an internal machine gun that fires from the right wing. I’ve flown in it once before, when Abuelo took me for a ride for my birthday, which reassures me that I’m not going to mess this up.
Ahead of us are Brooklyn, Avani, and Flint in a jeep that carries the electromagnetic pulse machine. Leading the way are Violet and Andy, keeping a steady pace in a big jeep with the cryogenic chamber, designed to contain the alien’s body.
Adam taps his fingers rhythmically on the steering wheel. Rayen pretends not to be irritated by it. I pretend that everything is fine and that I’m not worried, even though my stomach keeps knotting up.
I go over the plan in my head one more time. That makes it even worse, since every time I examine the plan, I find a hundred little flaws in it that depend totally on chance. I just hope that I’m living up to my name, so that we’ll at least have luck on our side, even when nothing else is.
We approach our coordinates, and Adam slows down until we come to a full stop. I wipe my sweaty palms on my jeans. My heart is pounding in my ears.
Adam and Rayen get out first. Dust rises when they jump down, and the whole desert is empty. The others park a little ahead of us, and we all get to work unloading. Adam and Rayen help me unhook the plane from the back of the truck. Flint and Avani heave the enormous electromagnetic pulse machine out of their jeep. It’s about the size of a tiny car, and it pulses blue with electricity. When everything is in position, we gather around to hear Violet’s last-minute instructions—she’s still the boss.
“Okay,” she says, her voice firm. Her blond hair is tied back in a braid, and the desert sun makes her blue eyes stand out even more. “We all know what to do. Don’t miss your cues. We’ve only got one chance.”
We all nod.
“Andy, get inside the jeep,” Violet says, and the smaller girl looks relieved. “We might need to get out of here fast, so I’d prefer to have one driver at the ready.”
Andy climbs into the driver’s seat.
“Clover, after we fire the first electromagnetic pulse, you’ll be unprotected for eight minutes while the machine recharges,” Violet says grimly, bringing me back to reality. She conveniently leaves out the fact that I might be unprotected the whole time, if the first pulse doesn’t work. “You good to go?”
I look up to the sky for reassurance. It’s a perfect day for flying, with a bright blue sky that’s clear for miles. Somehow, my fear vanishes. I’ve flown before and I’ll fly again. I’ll rise.
“To your posts,” Violet shouts.
The F-15 has twin turbofan jet engines and can fly up to nine hundred miles per hour at low altitude, reaching Mach 2.5 at high altitude. It’s damn fast and I’m dying to try it out. I’ll have a good speed advantage over the spaceships. Their fighters are not as fast as mine. I guess it’s the difference in the atmosphere—our jets were built for these conditions, but their ships were designed for outer space. Still, even with that advantage, I have to count on Rayen to not miss her shot with the pulse machine.
I put on my G suit, climb into the cockpit, and strap myself in. I turn on the engine, slowly but surely, and the plane starts warming up. I put in my earphones, then put on my helmet.
“Test, test,” I say over the mic.
“Clover is a motherfucking alien slayer!” Brooklyn’s voice crackles over the intercom. “Oops, sorry, Violet. But yeah, we can hear you, Clover.”
“Good,” I say. “I’m ready for takeoff.”
My adrenaline pulses as I realize what I’m about to do. For the first time in seven months, humans are ready to fight back.
The plane slowly starts moving forward, and in a few seconds I have the acceleration to take off. Suddenly, I’m in the air, fighting against the wind as I gain altitude.
This time, the aliens are onto me much faster, as if they were expecting me.
I won’t disappoint them.
“I’ve got them,” I say over the intercom. My radar beeps twice as they appear on the screen. “Two showing up on my radar.”
They’re speeding up.
“I see them,” Violet confirms. “We’re ready to go. Set?”
“Set,” Avani and Rayen respond at the same time.
I grip the joystick harder as I hold my own speed. Any second now, they’ll catch up to me and start shooting.
But the shooting doesn’t come. And I know I’ve made a mistake.
“Shit,” I say out loud.
“What?” Violet shouts. “Clover, talk to me!”
“They should be shooting,” I say, “but they’re just staying steady on my tail.”
“That’s bad?”
“They’re scouts,” Adam says for me. “I think they were waiting for Clover.”
And sure enough, there’s a third beep on my radar. Something else has arrived.
“Fuck,” Brooklyn says. “That ship is
big.”
I can’t see it through the window panels, and I can’t afford to turn my head to look at it properly.
“Change of plans,” Violet announces. “We take the big one out first. Clover, what’s your guess? How many are in there?”
“Hold on.”
I spin the plane around in a wild swing toward the ground. The scouts drop from my line of vision just enough that I’m able to take a look.
My heart stops. It’s huge. It must be three times the size of my own plane. It’s not as big as the cruiser hidden at Area 51, but it’s obviously a destroyer. They’re not taking any chances with me this time.
I’ve got two scouts and a destroyer after me. I force myself to breathe.
“I see it,” I tell them. “It’s a big destroyer, but it’s probably not crewed by more than four of them. Maybe six, tops.”
Violet groans over the intercom. “That’s probably more than we can handle.”
“We either handle them or we’re dead,” Flint says quietly.
This ship was clearly sent here with the mission of taking my plane down. I don’t want to say it out loud, but at least half of that big-ass ship is loaded with weapons.
“Take the big one out first,” I hear myself saying. “I’ll take the scouts myself.”
“Are you sure?” asks Adam. He sounds worried.
“I’ll take care of the two scouts,” I say again, more firmly this time. “You guys handle the other ship.”
A second later, the destroyer fires its first blast. My radar starts beeping faster as it approaches, and I spin the plane madly to avoid it. This is nothing like before. This is heavy artillery that I’m not prepared to take.
But I’m taking it anyway.
“Be ready,” I warn the others as I narrowly avoid another blast. I’m doing insane maneuvering, but I’m limited by the scouts, which stay close beside me.
I point the plane down, heading directly for the ground, but before I hit, I pull the joystick and the plane turns over, its belly to the sky. I’m spinning under the big ship. It’s too close to drop a bomb or blast, so it tries to follow me, but it’s too big. It hovers in midair and tries to turn around. It’s only for a few seconds, but that’s enough.