by Emily Albert
Lenna came to one regretfully familiar road—the one where she had stumbled upon Coira. Truthfully, it had been less like stumbling upon her and more like being bombarded. Sure enough, there was Coira with her tangled hair and shabby clothing. As soon as Lenna spotted her, she turned and hurried away, but she wasn’t quick enough.
“My queen! My queen!” Against her better judgement, she turned around and was faced with Coira’s childish smile. Lenna put on a smile. “So good to see you again, your Highness—um, your Majesty. Wanna have your fortune told this time?”
“No, I need to go… I have somewhere I need to be.”
“I’ve got somethin’ you want,” Coira said in a singsong voice.
Lenna rolled her eyes. “What?”
Coira thought for a moment. “Wisdom, of course! I’ve got not only psychic abilities, but also a knack for counseling.”
“And whom have you counseled? What wisdom could you possibly have?”
“I’ve got lots of years livin’ on the streets, dealin’ with bad town stuff, bad life stuff. You learn some things. You understand things.”
Lenna tried to hide her interest. “So if someone needed some of that street wisdom, you could provide insight on the issues out here?”
“I don’t know about that insight stuff, but like I said, I got wisdom. I know things. I could tell someone,” she raised an eyebrow, “anythin’ they wanted to know about this city.”
“Well, that is great. I’ll keep that in mind.” She started to walk away.
“Hey! I mean... your Majesty, wait. I’m not too busy right now if that person wanted to have a chat.”
Lenna looked at the surrounding people. Everyone gave Coira a wide berth, even when she was with Lenna, so she gave in. Slowly walking toward Coira, she said, “Maybe you could be useful. What do you know about the economy around here? How bad is it?”
“If you mean the money, it’s bad. It’s real bad. People livin’ on the street, goin’ without food for days, doin’ god-awful things to their children—oh, but you already know about all that…”
“Wait, what exactly are people doing to their children?”
“You don’t know? That’s a shock, because they’re doin’ it all for you. Well, not you exactly, but you know, for your connections. Your mother sure sheltered you.”
“Hey! As far as you’re concerned, I am your queen. What are they doing for me?”
Coira was at a loss for words. “They just… well… maybe I should just show you… but no, that’s worse…”
“Just tell me!” Lenna raised her voice, then remembered her vow to show kindness. “Just tell me,” she repeated more quietly. ‘Please.”
“All right, all right. You really haven’t heard about the sacrifices?”
“Of course I have, but that’s just farmers killing chickens and cows to get our attention. It’s insignificant. They couldn’t be...”
Coira shook her head sadly. “You haven’t heard much town news in a while, have you, all cooped up in your comfy castle? Chicken sacrifices are a thing of the past. People can’t feed their babies anymore anyway, so they think, ‘Why not just slaughter ‘em?’ you know? Well, not exactly like that. They do it for the royal family, so you’ll put in a good word for us. You know, tell the gods to bring us food and money and all that. They really believe it, too. Me, not so much. I mean, look at this place—it hasn’t gotten any better!” She rubbed her face. “You’re tryin’ as hard as you can. It’s a hard job, I know… But anyway, they believe this stuff works. The chickens weren’t good enough, but maybe babies will be, is what they’re thinkin’, I guess.”
It’s all for you. They need you.
Lenna felt nauseous. Now she understood why the city had a bad name within the castle. “At least someone doesn’t agree with it. It really doesn’t bother them?”
“Yes and no.”
“What?”
“It gets under people’s skin for sure, but they learn to tolerate it. They’re desperate. And it’s just what we do now. We’ve come to terms with it. But you should still probably do somethin’ about it before humans go extinct in Haeden… your Majesty.”
“But why did you say, ‘yes and no’? That’s a blatant contradiction.”
Coira cocked her head.
“Yes and no are opposites. If you connect them, they’ll never make sense. You either can’t pick a side or you are not intelligent enough to explain what you really mean. You could have just said what you did afterward.”
“Maybe you’re the one that isn’t intelligent enough. If you don’t understand a couple simple words put together, I don’t think you’re as intelligent as someone who can.”
“Watch it! I am to be your queen! You will not disrespect me!”
Be calm, child. Cruelty will get you nowhere. Show them you care.
It had felt good, but she had to settle down. She took a deep breath.
Coira put her hands up in dramatic submission and Lenna forced a feeble, forgiving smile.
“I understood you the first time. I understand what yes and no mean, and I know that you meant people were upset about it but needed to accept it. I got that. I was just saying it’s ignorant to say it like that. It doesn’t make sense.”
“Okay, well… Now that we got that out of the way, have I satisfied your craving for wisdom?”
“It was information, really. Not so much wisdom.”
“Okay, fine. The wisdom will come next.”
Lenna was still hungry for information, but she doubted Coira could give her much more. Then wondered how much longer she could stand her.
“I have all I need.” Lenna nodded at her and turned away.
“You’re welcome!” Coira shouted.
Smile. Be kind.
Lenna looked over her shoulder and smiled as best as she could manage. “Thank you for your wisdom.”
Fourteen
Lenna had slept well. She dressed hurriedly, and on her way out of her bedroom she said to one guard, “Will you find Lord Stantio and bring him to the council room?” She walked off before she heard a reply. Today felt like the day to start working on her plan for Devon. All her guardian’s encouraging words replayed in her head. She had never felt so certain that she was capable of this, and never had she had such a solid plan.
She walked swiftly to the council room, feeling exceptionally confident in the hallways. When she got there, it was empty. She sat at the head of the table with contented sounds swirling in her head, matching her mood. Waiting, she mindlessly traced the wood patterns of the table and smiled.
The door creaked open and Devon stepped inside. He walked toward her, smiling apprehensively. He put his hand on the back of the seat next to her, and Lenna said. “Yes, please sit. Get close.”
“How are you doing, your Highness? Did you sleep well?”
“Very well, actually. I am looking forward to hearing what you have to say.”
“Well, that’s wonderful. Where shall we begin? Hmm…” His eyelids flickered as he thought. “First, I suppose you should understand that no king or queen has ultimate power. They all must go through the wisdom of the elders, counselors, and most importantly, Parliament. There will be a vote on every idea, and we will discuss it among ourselves and the rest of Parliament until we come to a reasonable conclusion.”
“Yes, I gathered that from the meeting. Quite frustrating, wouldn’t you say?” She eyed him.
He cleared his throat. “I suppose, in a way… hm… But it has been tested and proven effective.”
“But what do you think about it? My idea makes sense. There have to be consequences. He murdered someone, so he shouldn’t get to live. What do they think is going to happen? I’m just going to drop dead while I don’t have a backup? I don’t need someone behind me waiting to rule if something happens to me. And what about the regent? I thought he was supposed to be the backup. Isn’t that enough?”
“The regent isn’t optimal… A permanent ruler makes the co
untry run more smoothly. And a regent can never have legitimate royal heirs… But the points brought up all have merit. Of course, you’re right that the law dictates a murderer should be punished, but there are extenuating circumstances. The whole kingdom can’t go into a state of chaos if something were to happen. I-I’m not saying anything would happen, as you are very strong and able. I’m sure everyone sees that, but their concerns are valid. This is their kingdom after all—”
“This is my kingdom. Not theirs, not yours, not Remy’s.”
Devon was taken aback by her forceful tone, but quickly recovered. “Of course, of course. I did not mean to slight you. I was only trying to say that they are a part of it, and they don’t want to see it become tumultuous.”
“If I brought it to Parliament myself, could they approve it?”
“No… The advisors are the only ones who can bring ideas to them. They’re like the filter you have to use to make things fair. And I’m going to be straight with you—no matter who brings it up, there isn’t much of a chance they would approve it with the way things are. But you know, there is a chance for you to become Queen with Remy alive, even if he is in the dungeon. There’s usually a way.”
Lenna perked up, her keen eyes scanning his hesitant face. “What do I need to do? I don’t know what they want from me!” She looked into his eyes and hope sprung up inside her. She couldn’t imagine he would give into her plan this quickly, but she could try. He wanted her to succeed. “Say, is there someone with more influence who could sway the vote?”
He glanced away for a moment as if in thought.
Devon’s nervous eyes flicked back up. “You could… um… well, there is something that would make it more likely. I just don’t know…”
“Yes, go on.”
He paused. “Theoretically, if you acquired… well, if you got married, there would be someone else to take the throne if you were unable to rule.”
“Why would I want someone to share my power? Then it’s even harder to make my own decisions. The whole point of this is to be able to control decisions in the castle myself. This would have the opposite effect. I don’t know why you would even suggest that.”
“I thought you might feel that way, which was why I was so hesitant to bring it up. But at some point, you will have to marry and have children to assure there will be someone to take the throne next. That is your responsibility as a royal. You can get it over with and get settled, and then maybe you can learn to work together. At least the promise of a partner might help assuage their concerns. Is there anyone you think might be a good fit?” He looked at her as if compelling her to agree.
Security, expansion, legacy—all of these a husband can bring.
She knew both of their points had merit. Maybe a husband would help her in some ways, but he would also drag her down. She didn’t want to risk that. Marriage was something she would consider years down the line, after she had established her power in Haeden. She had plenty of time to have children.
“No. I am not getting married. It isn’t necessary. I’ll find another way to convince them.” Lenna leaned back, crossed her arms, and stared at him. His eyes settled on the table. As she sat silently and stubbornly, he fidgeted, thinking it over. He was such a strange thing. Lenna wouldn’t have even spoken to him if it hadn’t been for the idea of him influencing Parliament.
“I… I don’t believe there is another way,” he said, disappointed at her refusal. He leaned back in his chair.
“Isn’t there someone reasonable in Parliament I could talk to about setting people straight? Someone who would put in a good word for me?” she tested.
He finally looked her in the eye and stayed there, searching. “No… I don’t… I don’t believe anyone would be willing… I think marriage is your only option, other than praying for someone to change their mind.”
“Well, I’m not much of a praying girl, and I’m certainly not the marrying type.”
You’re being foolish, child.
Lenna didn’t know what her guardian was thinking; she was certain a husband would only bring her down.
Devon cleared his throat again and sounded defeated when he said, “Well then, while we consider all our options, shall we talk about how Parliament handles finances?”
Fifteen
An idea came to Lenna easily. It was born out of anger, and immediately took over her thoughts. As she walked through the halls, she found herself going to the dungeon. If no one would let her have her brother killed, there were other ways of punishing him.
Her hands still ached from the night in the throne room, but the bruises on her knuckles were lighter and the places her skin had split were mostly healed. The fact that soon, her pain would only worsen did not deter her, however. She punched one hand into the other palm.
There was one guard by Remy’s cell, and when Lenna got close, she looked him in the eye. “I need the key to the Prince’s cell,” she said with a hard edge to her voice. “And you might want to give us a little space. A little… alone time. You might not want to be here for this anyway.”
The guard reached into his pocket and started to pull out his ring of keys with his eyebrows furrowed. He didn’t take his eyes off of her. With his hand still in his pocket, his eyes went wide. “But your Highness, all due respect…”
Lenna gave a short laugh. “Whose kingdom is this? Who appointed you guard? Whose ancestors created this very dungeon, this castle! He is my prisoner. Don’t forget that.” He grudgingly took the keys out of his pocket and Lenna snatched them from his half-outstretched hand. He left, looking back at Lenna every few steps.
When she stood in front of Remy’s cell, his eyes flickered but he did not look up. “So, brother, apparently there are small things standing in the way of your execution, but I’m sure I can find other ways of punishing you.”
“Isn’t this punishment enough?” He whispered after a long moment.
“Not even close.”
Remy finally picked his head up as Lenna found the key labeled with his cell number. She dramatically turned it in the lock, staring at his drained face all the while. He looked up at her, frozen. Lenna smirked at him.
She slid the door open and stepped into the cell. She slinked to the farthest wall from him, rubbing her hands together. Earlier, she had had a vision of getting her anger out with simple, straightforward pain. She had wanted to hit him badly; she still wanted to. But that would be too easy. He needed to suffer, not just feel physical pain. She also felt the compulsion to scream at him for everything he had done, and she knew it would hurt him to hear it. He would be tortured by the guilt and rejection from his sister, but still, was that enough? He needed not just pain, not just regret or distress, but a deep, twisted, soul-crushing agony. She crossed her arms. He gaped at her like an animal spotted in the woods.
There was nothing he truly cared for that he hadn’t already taken from himself.
She expected her guardian to weigh in, but it said nothing but You’re above him, above it all. Do you feel the power? Own it. That’s right.
Remy opened his mouth, trying to speak, then thought better of it and closed it again. Lenna raised her eyebrows, daring him to speak. After a long, tense moment he whispered, “Please…”
This time Lenna tried to speak, but Remy said, “I know you loved her, and you have to know I loved her too, more than anything. I know you miss her. Do you think I wanted to not have a father, then lose my mother? I did what I thought I had to, because I believed it would help her, even if it made us suffer. Please just… please try to understand. She isn’t suffering anymore.”
Lenna dug her nails into her palms. She couldn’t think of a long speech to give him, at least nothing she hadn’t already tried. She saw now that there were no savvy words to make him understand that there was no excuse for what he did. Her heart raced with the fury and frustration. She couldn’t stop herself, and she punched him. He recoiled and tried to put his hands over his face, but it was a weak effo
rt.
“You idiot! You don’t get it! We could have helped her! You killed your mother! Do you not understand how horrible that is!” Every few words were punctuated with a punch. They started to come faster and harder.
Feel that, take it in.
“I used to trust you, and love you, and take care of you! You just don’t get it!” She kept going in silence for a moment. “She was—you just—” Then she slowly broke down. She felt herself starting to cry, and she stopped.
Was this who she was becoming?
It’s wonderful. It’s who you’re meant to be.
Remy lay there breathing shakily. She turned away from him as the first tear fell. When she felt that she had to choke back tears, she ran out of the cell, not bothering to lock it. As she passed the guard, she pressed the keys against his chest, not stopping at all. She managed, “I’m done.”
Only then, as she ran down the hallway, did she feel her hands throbbing, covered in blood once again. She tried to rub it off on her white dress, but the stain was disturbing, and it had already stained her knuckles. With a racing mind she went upstairs to her room, feeling like all she wanted to do was hide.
It’s okay. The power will lift you up.
In that moment, it didn’t feel that way.
○○○
Everyone had cleared out of the throne room after expressing their many concerns to the Prince, Princess, and regent. Now Lenna was pacing around the room. She vividly remembered the night of sending a man to the asylum. It was a hard memory to swallow. She was supposed to care for him, and she had ruined his life.
You were gaining your power, that’s all, child. You must hone it, not discard it. No one will find out about your secret.
She tried to rationalize it. She was defending her mother. But she wasn’t even sure that much was true. She hadn’t been thinking of her mother, but the feeling of anger and power. She also did not believe that Joran had done anything wrong. The only thing that was true was what her guardian told her: she was honing her power. That reason was barely enough for her to forgive herself.