by Emily Albert
Lenna slammed her hands on the table, reminding her of the times she fought her council. Her fury was coming back, and she couldn’t stop it. No, she would embrace it. She needed to be hard now. She saw the man she loved only days ago, the man she wasn’t sure she had stopped loving yet, and her stomach turned. The little time she had been with him had been happy, but she knew better than to continue that mistake. She would be happy when she ruled the world.
“This is my country,” she said. “You can’t bring your people in from your country, take my people out, and expect them to advise me. My advisors belong here. Yours don’t. This isn’t your domain, and you can’t make changes without asking me.”
“Lenna,” he said softly, but with a hint of hidden menace, “I am King of Haeden. I can do what I wish.”
“No!” She hit the table again and Marco’s new people flinched. She turned to where they sat. “Didn’t expect me to fight, huh? You thought, ‘Well, King Marco has gotten this far, worn her down, so she must be easy. She must be stupid and weak.’ That’s not the case. You thought I loved my king so much that I would let him walk all over me, but I will fight. I’ll fight the people I once loved with no hesitation. None of you expected that, did you?”
Marco looked at her coolly. His relaxed eyes and slight smile gave her chills. He still didn’t believe her.
“Lenna,” he repeated in the very same tone, “I am the king of this country, and I still have some control over mine. You may be my equal, but you cannot stop me from doing what I need to do for myself and my country.”
His condescending tone put a scowl on her face. “You may be King of Haeden, but I am its queen, and the baby of its beloved Ollivan and Fay. I am the one who is devoted to this kingdom, and the people will learn that. I will be the Queen, and you will be the irrelevant husband.”
Marco leaned forward. “You fell for me. You’re weaker than you think. I got through that shell. The weakness is in there somewhere. I will always be stronger, because there’s none of that in me. That’s just who I am.”
Your shell must be thicker than ever if you are to win now. So thick that you can crack his open. Everyone has a weakness.
“These are my people. They will be mine no matter what, always.”
Marco smiled; it was a sinister one with a sickly sweet coating. “They don’t like you. You know that, don’t you? You’ve done nothing for them. You couldn’t even raise enough money from your wedding to give them the food and new homes they need. A fresh face is what they desire. Someone who will change things. They believe in me.”
“You need to leave. You all need to leave. These aren’t going to be my advisors. You all need to go.”
Marco interlocked his hands on the table. “That’s your go-to tactic, isn’t it? When you can’t win, you make people leave. First your brother, then Grace. You can’t make me leave, though, and you can’t make my advisors leave. I am your king, and we are going to have this meeting.”
Marco’s advisors squirmed, and Lenna’s advisors followed suit.
Lenna felt acid rising up in her throat. “And I am your queen. I am a child of Haeden; this is my kingdom. This has always been my counseling room, my parents’ before that, and so on. You are a new king here, so very new. You leave when I say you leave.”
Marco settled deeper into his chair without taking his eyes off her. “Our first order of business, advisors, is where we can get more money to send back home for our… repairs.” He smiled at her knowingly.
“I told you to get out.” Silence. “Leave this room at once! You have no right to be here!”
This is a new beast. You can’t remove him with force. He isn’t scared of you like all the rest. You have to be smart to fix this grave mistake. And if you can’t… you will be a greater disappointment than even your father.
Marco settled pointedly into his seat again. “I was inspired by Darrian Greyor, from the stories I’ve heard. He sold all the valuables in the castle, did he not, Lenna? I think that is a fabulous idea. We did agree on modesty, no? We don’t need everything in here. We can live a life of minimalism to help Elawar.”
Lenna took a breath, hoping it wasn’t noticeable.
“So you would rather share with your brother, the King of Elawar, than help your new country, which is all yours, become the best it can be?” Lenna hesitated a bit as she said “all yours.” She was reluctant to give those words away.
Marco just kept smiling sickeningly. “Your country is too far gone. You’re smart, so I’m sure you know that. It’s in shambles. The people coming to your open meetings ask for food, clean water, and for their chapels to be fixed. They beg and grovel, trying to get the good side of you to appease them. It’s pathetic, and I know you can see it. Do you really think it’s wise to throw money away on bread and stone just to barely make a dent in the problem? You think that will make you great?”
“Maybe a cynical eye would say they’re past the point of no return, but you’re not looking hard enough. You’re not looking at the castle with its surplus of valuables and overabundance of food. There’s so much that we don’t eat everything on the table. We have plenty to share, as long as we’re not spending the money on jewelry and imported wives for the nobles in Elawar.”
Lenna finally found a smile in herself. “I heard you had some financial troubles in your own towns not too long ago. Right before King Adrian took the throne, I believe.”
Marco’s eye twitched. “That was—”
“I heard he fixed it all. Patched up every single problem, brought in more food and fixed the broken buildings. Created a clean water supply and better disposal. And if I remember correctly, that was after he cleaned up the mess with the plague you had. I remember hearing about it only after it was wiped out—that’s how quickly he worked. I’ve never been to Elawar, but I heard it’s perfect now, not a single problem to speak of. So what is it, you’re trying to outdo him? You’re so jealous and resentful that you’re trying to scrape up any little bit of redemption for yourself? Am I wrong in saying it’s because you mean nothing there?”
Lenna could see Marco’s chest shaking, but he calmed himself almost immediately.
“I care about my country,” he said flatly. “I grew up there, just as you grew up here. Surely you should understand.”
“I understand that you’re desperate to be better than your brother. You have two countries now, both in which you will always come in second place, huh?”
Marco’s representatives looked slowly from wife to husband, realization dawning on their faces. Marco saw it and said to them, “We do need money for our country. You all know this.”
The silence was so uncomfortable that every single person shifted in their seat and avoided eye contact. The person nearest to Marco finally looked up. “What are you trying to gain, your Majesty? Some luxuries for your country, or your pride?”
Marco slapped him, and the sharp sound ripped through the room. “How dare you question me! What are you going to do, run back home and tell everyone that I’m selfish and egotistical? And you expect them to believe you? You’re wrong, and you’re ungrateful. How dare you!”
Lenna smirked at him. “You’re more like me than you’d like to think, aren’t you? You’ve got weaknesses you wouldn’t dream of facing. But thanks to you, I’ve already faced mine. And you think you can trample me? Hah! We’re the same, you and I. We’re the same, only I’ve learned to fight my demons, while yours encompass you.”
“No, not even close! I’m—”
“You came here because you thought you could earn my trust and make me lose control so you could take over and be the hero of two countries? You thought it would be that easy? You think you’re stronger than me even now that I’ve squashed the one thing holding me back. You didn’t anticipate me fighting back. You thought I would fall onto my back for you and not get up. But I got up fast, and I’m not going back down. I’m much stronger than you know.”
Marco seemed to be looking fo
r words that didn’t come.
“You want to be important so badly, but you never will be. You’re no one’s first choice—your brother has made sure of that, and I’ll make sure of it when I prove to my people that they were right when they counted on me. You’re just a weak, watered down version of your brother that will never be good enough.”
Marco said, “You let your people kill their children and believe you can communicate with the gods. They thought you would help them, and now they’re seeing that you won’t. But they trust me, because who else will they trust?”
You will make sure they know who their real ruler is. He will never care for the kingdom, not like you.
“You’ve shown that you have no interest in helping them, and I’ll be happy to tell them that the money they were promised went to your country instead. No matter what show you put on, they’ll always hear the truth from me, and they’ll always know I’m the one who’s loyal. Soon enough, I’ll show them I can do better.”
Marco’s smile had vanished. “I guess we’ll just have to see, won’t we, your Majesty?”
○○○
Lenna pulled down the bedsheets on her side. She hoped that somehow, not pulling Marco’s side down would cause him to not come to bed. She sat alone in her bed for a while, heart racing from the mere thought of the door opening. The alone part of this situation hit her very hard. The high from her power over Marco had worn off, and she wondered if she could face whatever came next. She knew standing up to him hadn’t been a mistake, but it was the uncertainty that scared her. Did Marco have more fight in him?
You can take whatever comes next. You will beat him time and time again if you need to.
The door eventually squeaked open, and Lenna inhaled sharply. She closed her eyes, and the thought of opening them made her chest ache. She told herself to be strong; she could be strong.
“Hello, my beautiful wife,” Marco said in a dangerous singsong voice.
She took one last breath before daring to open her eyes. He was standing at the end of the bed, loosening his belt. His burgundy shirt looked ragged. An easy sigh escaped him.
He was drunk.
The dim light was chilling, and Lenna wished she had brought in more candles.
“I thought you would have found somewhere else to sleep.” Lenna used a sneer to cover how defenseless she felt.
It was a fair fight, she told herself. He was no stronger than she was. This had been a bold threat in the counsel room, but now it was desperate summon for bravery. He was older. He was physically stronger. She felt like a young child who had no idea what an angry, impaired man was capable of.
“Why would I do that? I want to sleep next to my wife.” He was speaking in the way a husband in a normal marriage would after missing his wife all day. He made himself sound hurt by what she had said.
This wasn’t what was on the inside of him, she knew. The facade was more terrifying than the truth would have been. She might have preferred to be faced with the man whom she had triggered earlier and who clearly had it in his power to lash out and hurt her. She could fight if he initiated it, but this was different.
“You look so afraid,” he said kindly, but with slurred speech and a devilish smile. “What’s wrong?”
“Sleep somewhere else.”
He pouted his lips. “You’re going to push me away after one little argument? We just got married. We can get through it.”
“You slapped your representative.”
“Oh, he betrayed me. I had every right.”
“I betrayed you, did I not? I raised my voice to you.”
“I suppose. But we are married, and we can settle it in different ways.”
“In what ways?” She shivered.
Marco sat on the edge of the bed with his back to her, and she pulled her legs up to her chest. His eyes looked somewhere very far away.
“Do you know how easy it was to get you softened up? I knew you were angry, and a little crazy, but… you must have been so lonely, so sad. That’s what made it easy. A little attention, a little love, and you were all mine.”
You were only strengthened by that mistake. His strength is all in his head. You can defeat him a hundred times over.
She straightened her legs again and sat up taller, still shaking a little.
Put him in his place but keep him in your grasp. You will need him.
“How…” Lenna decided to not finish her question to her guardian. She didn’t want to think about needing him for anything. She just watched Marco, waiting for his drunken trance to break.
When his eyes were focused and he had taken off his shoes and belt, he twisted toward her and put one knee on the bed. “I’ve had some thoughts.”
Lenna’s eyes stayed on his, then flicked down to the blankets. She could hear both of them breathing.
“We’ve never consummated our marriage. I think it’s about time. After all, we will have to make little heirs one day. Do you hear what I’m saying?”
Of course she knew what he was saying, and she wished she had put a pillow between them, even knowing it would do nothing. He moved toward her and put his hand on her leg.
“Not right now,” she whispered. Not only was she terrified of him and his touch, terrified it would turn hostile, she also clung to her youth. She had never been with a man before Marco, let alone with someone many years her elder. She was frozen.
When she showed no signs of moving toward him, Marco’s face went sour. There was an obvious and automatic shift in the tension in the room. “Why not? It’ll have to happen sooner or later.”
He got even closer, and Lenna stood. This made Marco’s face grow grim, and he stood as well. The candles on Marco’s side flickered with the gust of air from him getting up clumsily.
“I said not tonight,” she said, trying to make it sound forceful.
Slowly, he crept around the bed toward Lenna, and she stood tall.
“There are things that husbands and wives, kings and queens, must do, my Lenna.” Any trace of playfulness in his voice was gone. “There are things I must teach you.”
You can take control here. You can make your heirs on your terms. You must.
“What!” Lenna screamed at her guardian, clutching her head. The loud noise seemed to trigger Marco to lunge at her.
He was stronger than she had expected, even having seen his brawny body. The powerful force of his muscular arms pushed her down. In the disorienting moment, all she could think of was his impossible strength. He had been kind and sweet, but his force told a different story.
He shoved her onto the bed. She fell hard, her head slamming against the headboard. The pain rang through her head, sharp and loud, and her eyes went cloudy. In the amount of time it took for her body to settle on the bed, he was on top of her. The weight of him was dull and almost numbed by her disorientation. There were nails digging viciously into her wrists, holding them down above her head. Her clothes were being torn off frantically. There was a small, hateful laugh, so slight she could have imagined it.
After a moment, something was different—her hands? Yes, her hands were free of the claws. She saw the blurry shape of Marco reaching toward his pants button.
Take control. You must listen. Your heirs will be of your doing.
The voice sounded so faint and fuzzy that she could not focus on it; all she could do was rub the piercing indents on her wrists and whine at the word ‘heirs.’
Before she could process the blood on her wrists, they were wrapped in the claws again. Her eyes shut tightly, and a tear appeared on the corner of each one. In that moment, she was nowhere. She was not in her bedroom being ripped apart by this man whom she used to love; she was in a blackness, a nothingness, somewhere she could not understand but was in enough pain to accept. Her consciousness had abandoned her, saving her mind from the pain her body felt.
For an instant she was aware enough to hear his coarse voice whisper, too close to her ear, “Don’t you see? I will always en
d up on top, right where I belong. You can fight and lose, or you can play along.”
She was haunted not only by this man who was crushing her, but by her guardian’s voice saying, Take control, child. Do not let him be on top. Do not let this happen.
Finally Lenna was able to open her eyes. She could feel every sensation she had ignored flooding in. Her stomach turned; she expected it was from being aware of Marco and her pain, but it was really from disappointing her guardian. She couldn’t move to take control, no matter how much it wanted her to.
She looked at Marco’s face, which was staring off somewhere, looking crude and absent. Though he thought himself fierce, he looked vulnerable in this state. His grip on her hands loosened, and she jolted awake.
Finally. Do something. Don’t let yourself be this weak.
Slipping one hand out of Marco’s grasp, she reached over to her bedside table. When she found the handle of her small mirror, she breathed a sigh of relief. She gripped it as tightly as she could, then smashed it into Marco’s head. It shattered, some pieces of glass raining down onto her face. He didn’t recoil for long and came back to punch her. She touched her cheek, the pain from his knuckles lingering.
“What was that?” he yelled, his speech liquid as he got off of her. “How-how could you? Do you have any idea who I am? Not just your husband, but your king! Your king!”
If this was his worst, she could be much stronger. She was much stronger. From now on, she promised her guardian, she would always be on top.
Forty-Two
Marco had already left when Lenna woke up. All night, he had held her body tightly against his, trapping her. In the morning, she still felt dirty. Her wrists had fingernail-shaped gouges with dried blood around them. Her whole lower body was sore and full of sharp pain when she moved. Most noticeable was the aching in her chest at the thought of being violated, being taken over. She felt small.
There was something else, though. She had beaten him. He didn’t know it, but with the mirror, she had won. It made her feel just a little bit bigger.