by Vera Hollins
I bit my lip. His hand was even closer to my thigh now, his pinky almost touching me.
“I thought about how I want to be that person who will take care of you.”
I turned my head to look at him, but it was a mistake because his face was only inches away from mine, and all I had to do was just tilt my head toward him and we would be kissing. It was too tempting, which was why I had to snap my head back and fix my eyes on Mel.
“It’s not fair, Blake, because you won’t ever be that person. You have your priorities settled.” I didn’t want to sound bitter, so I said this in a neutral voice, wanting him to know I wasn’t accusing him of anything.
“I know.” His whisper carried so much pain.
“Then what are we doing now? What are we? Friends? Acquaintances? Nothing?”
His fingers slipped over my thigh in a feathery touch and stopped. “Just two people who are trying to figure out how to go on with their feelings.”
I looked at him. “That’s not good enough, Blake. I…I don’t know how to act around you. I don’t know what to expect from you.”
“Don’t expect anything. I can’t give you anything.”
“Then why is your hand on my thigh?”
He pulled it back as if he’d been burned and looked away. I willed myself to breathe evenly. This was bad. It was becoming torturous to sit next to him and know there would never be anything between us. I’d thought I would be able to handle it, handle his nearness and act like everything was okay, but right now, I couldn’t. I couldn’t get rid of the constant fear that reminded me of how limited our time together was.
I needed to get out. I needed some fresh air.
Mel ended her speech, inviting witnesses of bullying to stick up for victims instead of keeping quiet, and one junior came out to share her story, but I couldn’t stay here a moment longer.
Feeling the sudden urge to get some space, I whispered to Kevin that I was going to the restroom and stood up. I had to pass Blake first, and I held my breath when I stepped in front of him, more than aware that my butt was right in his face because the space between the rows was so narrow. I let the breath out only when I was off the bleachers and scurried out.
I burst through the gym doors and rushed down the empty hallways in search of…what? Clarity? Answers? Anything that would dull this ache and longing that were becoming unbearable. Music. Music was the answer.
The sunrays blinded me when I stepped outside, and I shielded my eyes with my hand as I went to the parking lot. I needed music badly, and my headphones were in my car.
“Jessie!” I spun on my heel and halted, my eyes widening when I saw Blake running toward me. “Wait!”
I stared at his ridiculously sexy body as he rushed over. Each muscle was accentuated, flexing and unflexing, and it was too much. My body didn’t care about logic or reality. It didn’t care that I would never be his priority or above his need for revenge and the lost love of his life. It just wanted to take and give.
He stopped a bit too close to me as he grabbed my face to pull me in for a kiss, and I lost myself in the contact of our lips. It felt too good. His hands went down to the small of my back and pulled me flush against him as his tongue stroked mine with great need. I clutched the lapels of his jacket, not caring if anyone could see us or not.
Was it too foolish to have this overpowering hope in my chest that survived each bump in our road? Was there any chance, no matter how tiny, that Blake would give up on ruining or risking his life?
I pulled my lips away, wishing this was more than just a stolen moment. “Wait—”
He pressed his face into the crook of my neck and continued kissing me, battling against my reason.
“Wait,” I repeated, willing my hands to push him away, but I was so needy for his kisses, already leaning closer to him for more… I pushed him away and took a step back. “Do you have any clue how scared I am for you?” I asked. “Do you know how scared I am that any day now, I won’t even see you anymore? I’ll come to school and hear you’re dead, or jailed for life. And the more I think about your revenge, the more horrible scenarios I come up with, and I feel so lost because you’re so hellbent on that revenge and…” My words dwindled away when he cupped my cheeks with his hands.
“I know.” He leaned his forehead against mine. “I know, and I’m so sorry. I don’t want to lead you on. I don’t want to hurt your feelings. I want to be with you, but…”
“But you won’t change your mind. Nothing will ever make you change your mind because you don’t even want to consider a life free of your revenge.”
He grimaced and dropped his hands. “Don’t, Jessie. Please don’t say it. I—”
“The world is so much more than you think, Blake. It’s not all negative. It can be happy and full of joy, and I wish you would let yourself experience it. But you won’t even try.”
I turned around and continued walking toward my car with a suffocating feeling clawing at my chest.
“Jessie!” he called after me, but I didn’t stop, my eyes set on the pavement in front of me. I wanted to lose myself in music and forget about everything.
I fished my keys out of my pocket. “I want to be your friend, Blake. Maybe even something more, but that doesn’t matter,” I said when I heard him stop behind me, opening the car door with my shaky hand. I bent to reach inside. “It can’t matter when you could lose your life—” I froze, my eyes going wide when they met the end of a gun.
“Finally,” Isaac, Blake’s friend from the track, drawled with a crooked smile. He was sitting in my back seat with his gun pointed directly at me. “Now we can get this party started.”
Before I could even process what was happening, Blake rushed between me and the gun incredibly fast and shoved me behind him, shielding me.
“Blake, are you crazy?” I shrieked. Terror bolted right through me because he was risking his life to protect me. “You can’t—”
“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” Blake asked Isaac, and the realization hit me hard. It was him—the guy I’d seen behind me here yesterday. That was Isaac. That was why he’d looked familiar.
Isaac’s smile grew bigger. “Blake, my man! I have to say, this has just become ten times better. We planned to take your girl as a bait, but now that you’re here…this is perfect! It’s like, like…” He snapped his fingers. “Like poetic justice, yes!”
His casual way of speaking only added to my jumbled up thoughts. I scanned the parking lot for any witnesses, but there was not a living soul.
“Isaac, what the fuck are you on?” I wanted to peer further around Blake to see Isaac better, but Blake’s arm held me back. “Stay back,” he hissed at me.
Isaac chuckled. “What? You thought we were friends? Think again, man.”
Blake’s muscles locked up. “You were feeding me the info on Bobby Q and his guys.”
He grinned. “And I fed them the info on you.”
“What?”
“I told them about your plan to get back at them. They had a good laugh, really. Almost as good as mine when you told me why you were looking for them. Seriously, it’s totally ridiculous, but you get brownie points for the thought.”
“You hung around me from the start. You acted as if we were friends. So why?” Blake said through clenched teeth.
Isaac’s smile dropped, giving way to a scary expression. “Let me jog your memory,” he said in a completely changed voice, one that was deep and rough, sounding like a totally different person.
Blake let out a choked gasp. “No.” He staggered. “No. It can’t be you.”
“Oh, it’s me, all right.” He cocked his head to the side. “And let me tell you, her pussy was sooo tight…” His eyes found mine. “Right before I put the bullet in her head.”
Everything in me went cold. A silent cry formed on my lips as the meaning of Isaac’s words settled in my mind. Isaac was the one who… He was…
Blake’s whole body went rigid, his breathing
accelerating rapidly, which activated alarms in my head. I feared he was having or was about to have a flashback.
I rubbed his hand that was still on my waist the way I’d seen him do and whispered, “It’s all right. I’m here.”
The words were supposed to reassure him, but how I would be able to reassure him when I was terrified myself I didn’t know. My gaze made another sweep of the parking lot. There was no one at all. The damn cameras were supposed to get installed around the school the next day, and I wanted to scream in frustration.
“Okay, enough chitchat. Here’s how this is going to play out. Both of you are going to get in this car. The chick will be driving. And if you even think of refusing or running, there will be consequences.”
This seemed to pull Blake out of his daze; his terribly cold hand gripped mine as he pushed me further behind him. “She isn’t going anywhere with you,” he said in a hoarse voice, and I clutched his jacket. “You can do whatever the fuck you want with me, but I won’t let anything happen to her.”
Isaac chuckled. “How noble, tough guy, but you don’t have a choice. I won’t hesitate to shoot you if I have to.” He looked at me. “Would you want that?”
“No!” I cried out in sheer fear. “No, Blake. Don’t be stupid! Listen to him.”
“Jessica, run into the school and—”
“No, I—” I started, but he pushed me backward and away from him.
“Run in and alert them—”
“Not so fast,” said a strangely familiar voice behind me, and I felt something solid pressing into my back. I grew stiff, every muscle in my body turning tense. It was a gun.
My heart rate went through the roof. “B-Blake…,” I said breathlessly.
“If either of you takes a step, she’s dead,” the newcomer said, pressing the gun harder into me and paralyzing me from head to toe.
“Lawrence?” Blake looked over his shoulder, his face ashen and eyes full of fear.
“Recognizing my voice after all this time, Jones? Touching. Now, do what Isaac said. Get in the car, or I’ll pull the trigger.” He turned the safety of his gun off, the soft click resounding in my mind loudly like a hammer against metal.
Blake’s eyes met mine over his shoulder. His expression of regret sent shards of icy pain into my heart. My mind raced to come up with any solution to this but had no success.
“Please, Blake, do what he said,” I pleaded in a trembling voice, worried he might do something that would put him in danger. Anguish rolled over his face, and he held my hand in an almost unbearably tight grip as if he didn’t want to let go of me.
“No,” he whispered regretfully. “This was not how it was supposed to be.” He glared at Lawrence. “If you hurt her, I’ll kill you.”
“I’m the one holding the gun here, so don’t make me laugh. Move.”
I willed myself to release his hand. The lack of his touch and strength against my skin made me feel like I’d lost the last pillar of support, but I didn’t let it show on my face. I needed to stay strong for both of us, so I put on a brave mask as I gazed back at him. He grimaced and moved reluctantly, dragging his feet across the pavement as he went around my car to the passenger side.
“And don’t try anything funny,” Lawrence told him.
“Or what? You’ll grab the camera to record us before you kill us?” Blake asked him with a sneer before he sat inside my car. So Lawrence had been the one holding the camera in the video. It was no wonder his voice was somewhat familiar to me.
“Your humor is drier than your grandma’s pussy,” Lawrence replied, and I grimaced with disgust. He nudged me with his gun, signaling me to move.
I took a wobbly step closer to the car, but then Lawrence pulled my phone out of my back pocket with his gloved hand.
“You don’t need this anymore,” he said and flung it into the distance, where it landed with a loud crash.
I yelped, watching this with round eyes. As long as I’d had my phone with me, there had been hope I could use it, no matter how far-fetched that might have been, but now…
“Get in the car,” Lawrence ordered, pressing the gun into my back to make me move. I took another wobbly step and then another, my cold fear getting stronger because each step, each breath I took, each second felt like it would be my last.
I got behind the wheel and pulled the key out of my pocket, trembling. I was only able to insert it in the ignition after the third try. Isaac reached with his gloved hand for Blake’s phone and threw it out the window before he told me the address, which was on the outskirts of Enfield.
I looked around once more as I started the car. Not a single person. But even if there was someone, what could I do? Both Blake and I would be dead before I could even alert them.
Dead. I shuddered with a fresh wave of fear and looked at Blake, who stared straight ahead. His face was almost unrecognizable with the strong emotions passing across it. What were they going to do to us?
“Drive.” Isaac’s sharp order had me wincing in my seat. I barely remembered that I had to buckle up, but I stopped myself before I reached for the seat belt. Maybe, just maybe, the cops would pull me over for not wearing it, and that could be our chance to get out of this. But no, Isaac and Lawrence would see through me once the seat belt warning went off, so that wasn’t an option.
My panic increased as I shifted into first gear. I could ram the car into something and hope they would get hurt enough for us to escape, but then I would also risk Blake or me getting hurt. Maybe I could just drive too fast and hope to get stopped for speeding.
But as I proceeded to the exit on my right, planning to drive through the busiest streets, Isaac instructed me to go to the left and then follow the road that led away from the busy streets and areas where I could expect to see cops.
I did as I was told, terrified about what was waiting for us after this ride. I took one quick look at Isaac. He’d raped and killed Emma. It was difficult to understand how one person could be so evil.
“Why are you doing this shit?” Blake asked. “You short on dough again?”
They chuckled. I glanced in the rear-view mirror to see them give Blake a derisive look.
“Not really, tough boy,” Lawrence said. “Did you really think we would just sit and do nothing while you plotted your childish revenge? I thought we taught you to be more obedient and stop snooping around in other people’s business, but I guess you haven’t learned your lesson.”
Blake let out a choked breath. “So, while I plotted to take you and Bobby Q down, you plotted to—what? Kidnap me and torture me to death?”
“Nope. Just killing you was good enough,” Isaac said sardonically. “But then Bobby Q and I saw you getting real cozy with this cutie here, and it was like a sign from above because what’s better than coming full circle, right?”
“This has nothing to do with Jessica. Let her go.”
“And miss the fun we can have with her?”
I gripped the wheel, nauseated by the implication in those words. I feared how Blake was going to handle this for the second time.
“I’ll kill you,” he growled through his teeth, to which both Isaac and Lawrence laughed.
“Oooh, I’m shaking,” Isaac mocked.
“You will be when I’m done with you,” Blake muttered under his breath and covered my hand on the gearshift. I glanced at him. “I’ll protect you,” he mouthed silently, and I could see it—guilt, regret, fear, determination.
I offered him a small smile, wanting him to know I trusted him. I felt safe with him.
“Who would’ve thought, eh?” Isaac said in his cheerful fake voice, his aim remaining fixed on Blake. “That I would find you when I joined T’s gang last year? The world is so small. And you didn’t even recognize me!” He let out a poisonous chuckle. “But that’s the point of ski masks. No one can recognize you with it, get it?” He smacked his hand against his thigh, breaking out into laughter that grated on my ears.
“So, what? You knew wh
o I was from the start and decided to pretend to be my friend? You even changed your voice so I wouldn’t recognize it.”
Isaac grinned darkly. “Yes.”
“Why?”
He shrugged. “For fun. It was hilarious to see you hang around the person who fucked and killed your girlfriend.”
Blake fisted his hands on his thighs. He did it so tightly his veins bulged out. I swallowed the bile in my throat.
“But I never expected you to come to me and ask about Bobby Q,” Isaac continued. “That was huge.”
“I only asked you about Bobby Q because I heard you two moved in the same circles.”
Isaac smacked his lips. “Gotta love the irony. And now, here we are.”
I curled my lips in disgust. He’d done unspeakable things to an innocent girl but was roaming free around the world, and for a moment, I understood Blake’s burning desire to put an end to his miserable life. I wondered if a life sentence would be enough for the likes of him.
“Was that you yesterday?” I asked Isaac.
“Yesterday?” Blake asked me.
“There was a guy in the parking lot when I left the school. He looked familiar, but he was standing in the distance and wearing a cap, so I couldn’t be sure. Then you showed up, and he was gone.”
Isaac nodded with a grin. “Yep, that was me.”
Blake cursed. “What were you doing there?”
“Just keeping tabs on her.”
“Son of a bitch,” Blake growled.
“You’re not going to get away with this,” I told him, despite knowing how improbable that was. They had gotten away with Blake and Emma’s kidnapping.
Lawrence barked a mocking laugh. “We’ll see about that.”
The ride felt long and short all at the same time, killing all my hope that we could get out of this before we reached the address. My heart dropped into my stomach when an ominous-looking gray Victorian house came into sight at the end of the road. There was nothing here but meadows and more meadows, which increased the dreadful feeling that this wouldn’t end well. Isaac ordered me to park in the small driveway and hand him my car key; his aim at my head never faltered.