by Mary Grand
Beth hurried on. It was stupid. Why was Imogen making her feel so guilty?
That evening, Sami worked in the garden while Beth tried to read her book, but she couldn’t concentrate. Clips of the day kept haunting her: Conor’s outburst. All that anger: what had he done? And Elsa, who had been manipulating her? Was it Patrick? Roisin had confirmed Kathleen’s affair was with someone at work. It was such a small circle of people. Really it came down to Sami, Alex, and William, and Beth had to agree that William seemed the most likely candidate. Maybe Imogen’s fears hadn’t all been imaginary? Maybe William had been the father of Kathleen’s child. If that was the case, then it must point to Imogen or William as the most likely people to have threatened and killed Kathleen. However, there were others in the mix. Kathleen could have known any number of things about Conor that he wanted kept quiet. He had anger and passion enough to silence her, but would he really kill his own mother? And then there was Elsa. She may have thought it would be better to have Kathleen out of the way. She even had her own car she could have driven over there. Her dark secret? And then Beth remembered Angela, the portfolio, Elsa. When Rosin mentioned about a child moving into adulthood, what they were capable of, was she hinting about Elsa?
Beth sat back. Today had been Kathleen’s funeral, but everything that had happened had left her with little time to think about the person she had come to mourn. She knew there was something she needed to do, so she went into the garden, and picked a single pink rose that had started to bloom.
‘I’m going for a quick walk,’ she said to Sami.
Before he could ask where she was going, she left. The night was creeping in. She went down her street and crossed over to the church. She found Kathleen’s grave, the flowers from the funeral still on the mound of earth. She knelt down.
‘It’s been a long day, Kathleen, and I wanted to come and say goodnight. I haven’t thought enough about you today, not in a good way. I miss you, my lovely friend. Thank you for all the joy and comfort you gave me.’ She lay her rose, and then noticed a rough bunch of peonies, nothing like the florist arrangements with formal white cards. This was tied with pink ribbon and there was a small piece of paper that read, ‘I forgive you. May you find peace now. xxx.’ No name, no explanation. Beth looked around: there was no one about. Who had left it? Of course, it might be someone who’d had a minor upset with Kathleen, making peace with her now she’d died. However, looking at the flowers, the carefully typed message, she was convinced this was something significant. She stood up and closed her eyes. ‘Goodnight, sweet lady,’ she said, and left.
She started to walk home. She put her hands into the pocket of her jacket, the one she’d worn to the funeral. She could feel paper in the pocket, and assumed it was an old receipt. When she arrived home, she took the piece of paper to throw it away, but could see it wasn’t a receipt. She opened it, and read, ‘I am watching you. I know your secret.’ Beth scrunched up the note: how did that get in her pocket? They had typed on this piece of paper, put their hand in her pocket. Had she been wearing it at the time, had she felt their breath, the warmth of their hand? One thing she knew was that slowly they were getting closer.
27
Beth lay in bed that night. Sami was asleep, but she lay with her eyes open, thinking about the note. It must have been put in her jacket sometime that day. She’d only got it back from the dry cleaner’s a week ago and had been keeping it tidy for the funeral. It had been in the bedroom the whole time at the wake. Anyone could have put it in her pocket. If only she could work out who’d put it there? William? Imogen? Alex? Patrick? Elsa? Conor? Who did it?
Her mind flashed to herself standing at the lectern, looking around at the congregation. It had been one of them, but she had no idea who.
She tucked the note in the unused journal she kept in her drawer.
Beth went to work the next morning, feeling tired and flat. She was glad when the morning came to an end and wished she hadn’t arranged to go and see William. She just wanted to go home.
As she was leaving the school, Imogen caught her in reception.
‘Off for your date with my husband?’
‘Oh yes, champagne and dinner,’ Beth joked, too tired to smile. However, as she looked at Imogen, she saw she was deadly serious.
‘I saw the two of you coming out of the bedroom,’ Imogen said.
Beth stared. ‘You are joking, aren’t you?’
‘Why would I be joking? Why are you arranging this secret one to one?’
‘It’s clearly not secret, and I didn’t arrange it. William asked to see me.’ Beth cringed, that was probably completely the wrong thing to say.
Imogen raised her eyebrows in disbelief and came closer to her. ‘Just because things are going badly with your marriage doesn’t mean you can come running after William.’
Beth was horrified. ‘There is nothing wrong with my marriage. This is stupid. Yesterday, you said you wanted us to be friends again.’
‘That was before you made a date with my husband.’
Beth glared. ‘This is madness. What the hell has got into you lately? At this rate you will lose all your friends and the support of your staff.’
Beth saw a flash of anger in Imogen’s eyes. To criticise her work would always be a step too far. ‘Are you insinuating I am not up to my job?’
Beth stepped back, but she wasn’t giving in. ‘Of course not, but you are so irritable, snapping at everyone. The staff were happy to try and meet your demanding standards when they thought you were being fair, but they are fed up with your rudeness.’
‘How dare you speak to me like this? You’re not even on the teaching staff. You’re getting above yourself. Now, I suggest you go home and when you come back tomorrow, I expect a marked change in your attitude or I shall be going to the governors about you,’ shouted Imogen.
Humiliated and angry, Beth was suddenly aware of the silence in the reception area. The staff were staring at her, open mouthed, but no one was coming to her rescue.
Afraid now of bursting into tears, Beth walked quickly to the door and out of the building. She stood still outside, breathed deeply, swallowed back the tears. Creating a scene like that was so unlike her, but then Imogen had never spoken to her like that before. What the hell had got into Imogen?
Beth walked the short distance to the surgery and told the receptionist, who went through to William and then told her to make her way to his room.
‘Sorry I’m late,’ she said breathlessly as she sat down.
‘It’s OK. I had an emergency to pop out to. Thanks for coming. Hang on—’
William got up and opened the door, to slip a sign across saying, ‘Do Not Disturb’.
‘There we are. They know better than to interrupt us now.’
Beth sat in the patient’s chair, with all the nervousness of a patient waiting to list her problems in the allotted time.
William was quite relaxed. ‘This must all seem a bit odd but there are a few things I wanted to talk to you about.’ He stopped. ‘Are you OK?’
‘I’ve come from a row with your wife. She seemed to think I’d arranged this meeting and she was really jealous about it. What is going on?’
William groaned. ‘I’m sorry. I hope it’s not starting all over again. She got like this with Kathleen. I know Imogen is insecure. I suppose I just to have to keep reassuring her and telling her how much I love her. What worries me is that it could indicate she’s not coming off the medications she should. They can make her paranoid.’
‘Do you think she is going around doctors again?’
William clicked the pen in his hand repeatedly. ‘It should be virtually impossible now. Everyone has been warned and I make no secret now about keeping tabs on her. I drop her off at school in the morning, pick her up when I can. If not, I ring and check where she is, and I’ve got Elsa on the case as well. She goes to a physio for her back once a week, but the physio is a friend of mine. He rings me when she arrives and leaves. I�
��m watching her all the time.’
‘It sounds exhausting.’
‘I want her to get better. I found a new box of pills in her drawer. She said they were left over from before, but I had been through everything. It’s a nightmare.’
‘At the funeral she seemed better. We’d had a bit of a falling out, but she seemed much calmer, and then today she was all over the place again.’
‘Imogen told me about the conversation you two had. You must realise how upsetting it was for her to be accused of having anything to do with Kathleen’s death.’
Beth felt pushed on to the defensive again. ‘I know Imogen felt I should not be suspecting our friends, but everything points to one of us being the person who Kathleen was so terrified of, and that person may possibly have had something to do with her death. I’m still not convinced Patrick is as innocent as he says. I don’t know what to think.’
William continued to fiddle with the pen on his desk. ‘This pregnancy clearly indicates Kathleen had an affair—’
‘Of course. I think Kathleen wanted to keep her marriage and it’s possible that Patrick was prepared to accept this pregnancy as a miracle, but no one else seriously believes that.’
‘As you now know, Kathleen told me about the pregnancy. I was convinced it was someone on her course in London. More of a one night fling than an affair. I believe Sami agrees with me.’
‘He did, but I now know that’s not the case.’
‘How on earth could you be sure of that?
‘When Sami and I went to London, I went to Kathleen’s academy to see if anyone could tell me anything.’
‘Really?’
‘Yes, I’d contacted one of the students on Facebook.’
‘Good grief. I’d never have believed you’d have the nerve to do something like that.’
‘Well I did. I had a long chat with someone called Angela who had become good friends with Kathleen. It was clearly no one up there, and,’ she hesitated, ‘Kathleen told her sister that she’d slept with someone who she knew from work.’
‘Sounds unlikely.’
‘But I think it’s true, and there are only a few men here.’
William screwed up his eyes, but to her relief he smiled. ‘It wasn’t me.’
The response ‘Of course not’ danced around on the tip of her tongue, but something inside her gave her the courage to say, ‘But Imogen said Kathleen was always on the phone to you, and Elsa told me she thought Kathleen was breaking up your marriage.’
William’s face went grey. Beth saw him tighten his fist, and thump down on the desk. ‘This is all nonsense. Imogen became obsessed with me and Kathleen, and she passed on that neurosis to Elsa.’
Like wild animals challenging each other, they held the other’s gaze.
‘But it had to be someone,’ she said, her voice shaking now.
William leant towards her. Beth was suddenly aware how close she was to him. She moved back, her heart beating fast. ‘You believe I had an affair with Kathleen? To stop her telling anyone, for the sake of my marriage and my job, you think I drove over to Freshwater and killed her?’
‘I don’t know—’
‘You’re serious, aren’t you?’ He pointed at the door. ‘You do know that my car was outside there all that morning?’
Her mouth was very dry. ‘There’s the pharmacy car—’
William sat back, put down the pen with one hand; the fingers of his other tapped his knee. There was a flash of anger in his eyes. ‘You have hidden depths, Beth. You look so sweet and innocent. No one knows what goes on inside your head, do they?’
Steeling herself, Beth made herself maintain eye contact. ‘Kathleen told me there was someone at the house party with a dark side.’ From the open window came the sound of a blackbird’s frantic warning song. Beth ground her teeth together.
‘I will tell you what actually happened,’ said William firmly. ‘The morning Kathleen died, I drove here at about half six, did paperwork, sent emails. I was the only doctor doing early appointments on a Monday. We try to share them out. Everyone else was starting at 8.30. At quarter to eight I saw my first patient. I never left the building. Just inside the front door, we now have CCTV. I told the police about it. It shows no one came in or left the building between 6.30 and 7.30.’
Beth fiddled with the edge of her bag.
‘I know you want everything tied up neatly, but that’s not always possible in life. From what I hear Alex was cycling around the island, and I think you were alone in the woods. None of that matters of course, because the police, who have been very thorough, are sure Kathleen’s death was an accident.’ He paused, then added, ‘But you are still wondering who the father of Kathleen’s baby was, aren’t you?’
William looked out of the window as if he was daydreaming, but when he looked back his face was resolute. Unable to hold his gaze, Beth stared out of the open window, and for a moment was distracted by a goldfinch sat on the roof of the old chapel. The sun shone on its bright red face and yellow wing patch. She could hear the fluid twittering song.
‘I am going to tell you something that no one else knows. Before I came to the island, I had a vasectomy. I was in an unhappy marriage and had no wish to have children with the woman I was with. I’ve not told anyone. I haven’t even told Imogen.’
‘Why ever not?’
He blushed. ‘It’s not the kind of thing a man wants to go on about. If Imogen had wanted children, I would have considered having it reversed, but she was sure she didn’t. She was committed to her career, which suited me.’
‘But why not tell her?’
William gave a sheepish grin. ‘I know. It’s silly. I always tell my patients to tell their partners. I tell them they are making a responsible choice and all that and that you are no less of a man for having one, but for all that,’ he lifted his hands in despair, ‘what can I say? It was my pride.’
‘I think you should tell Imogen; you know.’
‘I’ve been thinking of it for a while, keep putting it off. The point of me telling you this is to make you realise that there is no way I could be the father of Kathleen’s baby. If you want proof, I could bring up my medical records, or you could ask Alex. He may remember I bought some pain relief from him afterwards, when we were in London. I’m not good with pain and I knew Alex would be discreet.’
‘I’m sorry. It never crossed my mind.’
William’s shoulders relaxed. He sat back, and his face melted into a reassuring smile. ‘Why should it? Look, things have got a bit intense. Let’s step back. I’m sorry I got upset, but you must realise how offensive it is to be accused of being unfaithful to Imogen, to have done so with a patient, and then to even suggest I might have been involved in murder.’
‘I’m sorry but—’
‘My concerns for Kathleen were purely professional. I never felt any kind of attraction to her. I can promise you that. I found her rather needy in fact, but she was a patient and a friend of Imogen’s. I had been concerned about her for a while, which is why, as I tried to explain to Imogen, I allowed Kathleen to ring me at home.’
‘Why were you so worried about her?’
‘Kathleen, of course, had been through the terrible ordeal of Alex’s wife’s accident, and at the same time she was going through a difficult patch in her marriage. She was concerned Patrick was getting bored with her. I didn’t think she had any grounds for this, but I think she was a woman who looked for constant reassurance. I thought she was fortunate to have someone like Patrick; he was extremely patient with her.’ He paused. ‘After Christmas, she rang me, told me she was pregnant. I knew, as you do now, that the father could not have been Patrick. She wouldn’t tell me who it was. Now, I told Imogen I thought it was someone on Kathleen’s course, but actually I had someone else in mind, someone who Kathleen worked with, but I don’t think you are going to like it.’
Beth grabbed the side of her chair. ‘Who was that?’ she asked.
‘Hang on, Beth. You d
idn’t have any worries about Sami, did you?’
‘It’s gone through my mind. He kept secrets from me, you know.’
‘Everyone has secrets. He had his reasons, I’m sure. He’s a good man, your husband. I’m sure he would never be disloyal. No, I wasn’t thinking of him.’
‘But who, then?’
‘I was thinking of Alex.’
‘Alex?’
William picked up his pen, and started clicking again. ‘He’s a funny one, Alex. Keeps himself to himself. You know, I knew him in London.’
‘I didn’t, no.’
‘He ran the pharmacy attached to the practice I was in, so we got to know each other professionally. Very talented, high flying. He was innovating all kinds of things. His pharmacy was used as a beacon of good practice.’
‘I hadn’t realised.’
‘After I’d left, I heard his wife had severe mental health issues following a car crash. I was surprised to hear he’d left the practice to become a locum. I understand it was to have the flexibility to care for her, but it was a huge sacrifice, and for a man like him, pretty frustrating I should think. The constant need for care and supervision can go on for years. It can grind the carer down.’
‘But then she died, of course.’
‘Yes. A tragic accident. I know Alex feels guilty for being away the night of her accident, but it sounds like it could have happened any time.’
‘Kathleen was so upset,’ said Beth. ‘Her sister said she’d tried to reassure her it wasn’t anyone’s fault.’
‘Exactly. Although I know Alex feels he bears some responsibility.’
’But how could he? He wasn’t even there.’
‘Confidentially speaking, I heard that there had been some confusion over Amy’s medication. I think it was mentioned at the inquest. I heard all this second-hand from a colleague I worked with. Of course, there was no suggestion of anything of a criminal nature, just an unfortunate error. It might well account for his wife’s added confusion. Of course, we will never know but, for Alex, it all adds to the sense of guilt. It was devastating for Kathleen as well, of course.’