by Amy Ruttan
“Where am I?” he asked groggily.
“At my place.”
“Sandra, when did you get here?”
“Sally is still working, and you need someone to watch you. You might have a concussion and you definitely have some broken ribs.”
Kody moaned. “Yeah. I can feel that.”
“Robbie is in surgery still, but Dr. Murdoch said that he’d keep me posted.”
Kody groaned. “Oh, God. I hope... We switched places and that should’ve been me in the rig.”
“But it wasn’t. Robbie is in good hands. Come on, I have actually set up a guest bed this time, so you have a place to sleep, instead of on my couch.”
Kody nodded and she helped him out of her SUV and up the steps into her home. She had his bag slung over her shoulder and her purse on the other shoulder.
“You packed me a bag?”
“You need clothes. You’re still in your uniform. Don’t worry, I didn’t find that stack of naughty magazines.” She winked and he winced.
“Don’t make me laugh. It hurts.”
“Sorry.” She led him to her guest bedroom. It held a queen-size bed and she’d just bought a new duvet and sheet set for it. There hadn’t been much else to do the last couple of weeks that she’d been off.
She got him settled on the bed and then started unbuttoning his uniform. Her hands were trembling as she did that, because the last time she’d undressed him, they’d made this baby together.
“You don’t have to do that. I can,” he said.
“You need to not move around so much. Let me help.”
He nodded, but he wouldn’t look her in the eyes. There was an undercurrent of something there and her pulse began to race.
“Okay, I think you can manage the rest.” She set his duffel bag on the bed next to him.
He nodded. “Thanks.”
“No problem. You would and have done the same for me. This room also has a private bathroom that’s stocked. If you need anything, just holler.”
“Thanks, Sandra. I will.”
She slipped out of the room and shut the door.
This was the right thing to do, but this was also going to be tough.
They couldn’t be together.
They both had commitment issues. It was just, when she was around him, all those fears seemed to melt away and what she wanted was something more from him.
She wanted to be with him.
And that thought scared her.
* * *
Kody got out of his uniform and went into the bathroom. His head was pounding and all the natural light pouring in through the skylight just made his headache worse. He had some stitches along the hairline—superficial cuts, most likely—and he knew he was going to get a black eye. He could feel that.
His ribs hurt bad and were turning all sorts of shades of purple and blue. A slight move made everything hurt.
Still, he’d fared better than Robbie.
Robbie was in surgery. Robbie, who had just proposed to his nurse girlfriend last week, was in surgery, fighting for his life.
And it was all his fault for wanting to switch spots on the rig.
Kody sighed. If something happened to Robbie, he doubted he could ever forgive himself.
It wasn’t your fault. You couldn’t have known.
Still, he could’ve paid better attention to what was happening out on the road, but he’d been so preoccupied with the fact that he’d been missing Sandra’s OB/GYN appointment. He’d wanted to be there. Everything had been so awkward after running into Ted and Myrtle. He didn’t want Sandra to think he was ducking out, because he wasn’t.
That night in the park, when Jenny’s parents had seemed to materialize from nowhere, it had reminded him that he wasn’t supposed to be at a park with Lucy and another woman. It had made him feel horribly guilty.
Myrtle had noticed Sandra too and asked if she was his girlfriend and he’d denied it. He’d told her that Sandra was new to Austin and worked at the hospital, but hadn’t mentioned that she was a surgeon, or that she was carrying his baby.
He couldn’t tell them.
It would be a betrayal. He was already feeling bad about taking down the picture he had of Jenny in his room and putting it away.
Then a horrible thought crept into his mind. What if Sandra had seen the picture in his drawer? What would she think of him?
He winced in pain and headed back to bed. If he didn’t need to be on a concussion watch, he wouldn’t be here. He wouldn’t have let her take him here. He just would’ve gone home and suffered in silence, which was what he preferred to do.
Not only was he feeling bad about Jenny’s parents and Robbie, but he was feeling awful about missing Sandra’s appointment. It was his baby too and he wanted his child and he was really regretting not being there today for the checkup.
Kody climbed back into bed, tried to arrange the pillows the best he could and closed his eyes. He knew that he couldn’t watch TV or read or do anything until they knew that he didn’t have a concussion. All he could do was lie here.
And that was boring as heck.
There was a gentle knock on his door.
“Come in, Sandra.”
She came in, holding a white paper bag and a glass of water. “I have your medications. I figure you might be feeling some pain.”
“Yeah, just a touch.” Kody winced.
She sat down on the edge of the bed and handed him the water glass, then pulled out a bottle of pain medication. “No ibuprofen for you—not until you’re cleared of a concussion.”
Kody took the pills and swallowed them down with the water. He leaned back against the pillows, wincing. He’d never broken his ribs before, and he wasn’t sure that he wanted to again. Everything hurt in the upper part of his body, his shoulders, his back, his sides. It was like a thousand knives stabbing him.
“You have to be careful. They’re hairline fractures, but, still, you don’t want to make a hairline fracture something more and risk injuring your soft tissue or your lungs,” Sandra warned.
“How long am I off work?” he muttered.
“Six weeks for fractured ribs.”
“What?” Kody gasped, and then it hurt to take that deep breath.
“Calm down.” She handed him another pill. “It’s a muscle relaxant. It should help.”
“I can’t live here for six weeks. Lucy’s only gone for one.”
“You’re going to need help. You can’t do any heavy lifting, but you should be able to mostly manage in about a week. And hopefully you don’t have a concussion, because that will just prolong everything.”
Six weeks. He was going to be out of work for six weeks. And if Robbie survived, he would be out even longer.
He wasn’t supposed to be the injured one; he was supposed to be out there helping others and doing his job. He was supposed to be saving lives.
“I know you’re frustrated. I get it.”
“You seem calmer than usual, though,” Kody remarked. “I take it the appointment went well.”
“It did.” She smiled. “And now I understand why you didn’t make it.”
“Yeah. I’m sorry.”
“No apologies. I get it.”
“I’m glad everything went well,” he said, and he truly meant it.
Sandra pulled out a picture, handing it to him. “Here’s your copy. Our baby.”
His heart warmed as he stared at the blurry, grainy picture of a little alien-looking creature floating around in what looked like outer space. He always thought that was funny. He always thought it was cute to see and this was no exception.
He smiled. “I’m glad.”
“I go and see Jocelyn again in a month. She also took blood work to test my DNA and see if I have any genetic worries.”
“I thought you did that already?” he asked.
“I put it off, but it’s done now.”
“I’m glad you got it done.” He gingerly set the picture on the nightstand, so that he could see it. “What else did she say?”
“She came up with an idea to keep me active. I’m not much of a crafty-type person and there’s only so much television I can watch.”
“Oh? And what is this great idea to keep you busy and not hurt yourself?”
“I’m putting together a proposal for one of my old research ideas. The proposal is due in a month and if the board of directors approves, I’ll get grant money and time in the research labs at the hospital. So, I’ll be at work, but not doing anything that would endanger me or the baby.”
“That’s great! So what’re you going to work on?”
“I don’t know. I haven’t had a chance to go through my files and find something yet. Someone got in an accident.”
“I didn’t do it on purpose!”
She smiled. “I know. I just like teasing you. You’re fun to tease when you can’t fight back.”
“Ha. Ha.” He yawned; the medicine was starting to take effect. Muscle relaxers and a painkiller—he was feeling very sedated.
“I think you need sleep,” Sandra whispered. She got up and pulled the duvet up around him. “Try and rest. We’ll see how you fare and whether you need to go back to the hospital to get a CT for a concussion.”
“Right,” he murmured. “If you hear anything about Robbie...”
“I’ll let you know.” She walked to the door and closed it.
Even though he didn’t want to be here and didn’t want to burden Sandra, when all was said and done, he was glad she’d taken him in. He would have had nowhere else to go. Sally was working and busy with her own life.
And he didn’t want to disrupt Lucy’s trip to Disneyland with her grandparents. So he was glad that Sandra had offered to take him in. Even if it was for just a week.
He was glad he could count on her friendship.
Even if he wanted more than friendship.
So much more.
CHAPTER NINE
KODY HEARD THE phone ringing, in what he assumed was the middle of the night. It made his head pound and the room was dark. There was no clock in the guest room, and he’d forgotten to charge his phone.
He really was out of it. When he tried to move, it was painful, and he hoped that Sandra would come and tell him the news. Although, news during the night was never a good sign.
Please don’t let Robbie die.
And he felt responsible for Robbie because he was supposed to be in the back of the rig. It should have been him and he felt guilty that it wasn’t.
There was a knock at the door.
“Come in,” he called out.
Sandra slipped in. “That was the hospital.”
“Tell me something good.”
“Robbie’s stable and in the ICU. He survived the surgery. They’re not sure if he’ll walk again, though. I’m sorry, Kody.”
Kody sighed.
Oh, God.
Robbie was so young and active. It wasn’t fair.
When was life fair?
“If I hadn’t switched spots with him...”
“You could’ve been killed. You don’t know how your body would’ve taken it compared to his.” She came and sat down on the bed next to him, putting her hand on his shoulder. It was comforting. “And that would leave Lucy without any parents and our baby without his or her father. It’s not your fault, you didn’t know. You couldn’t have known.”
“You’re right.”
“Well, he’s in good hands and he survived the surgery. They didn’t think that he would.” Sandra was trying to comfort him. He appreciated it, but it wasn’t helping.
“That’s good at least.”
“Well, I should get back to bed. It’s midnight.”
“I was wondering what time it was, but you don’t have to leave. I’m wide awake—why don’t you stay awhile?”
“You might be wide awake, but I’m exhausted.”
“Just stay.”
Sandra sighed. “Fine, but I’m getting under the covers and if I fall asleep don’t wake me up.”
“Deal.” He shifted over slightly so that she had room. She placed her phone on the other nightstand on her side and curled up on her side, away from him.
He recalled the feeling of her behind against him when he’d spooned her in the cabin. How he wished he could spoon her now. How he wanted to curl up next to her and hold her in his arms, but he could barely move, and he didn’t want to do further damage to his ribs. It was bad enough that he was going to be missing out on six weeks of work.
Robbie’s going to miss a lot more.
Kody shook that thought from his head.
He didn’t want to think about that possibility. Robbie was alive and he’d help his friend any way he could. Right now, he wanted to sleep, even if he couldn’t.
“So I thought you would’ve turned this room into a nursery?” he asked.
Sandra yawned. “There’re two more bedrooms. One is closer to my room—that will be the nursery. The other room is on the opposite side of the house and it’s not finished yet.”
“Well, don’t be thinking of doing any major renovation.”
“You really want to talk about home renovating at midnight?” she asked, her tone slightly surly.
“I do. It keeps my mind off other things.”
“Like what?” she asked, her voice muffled into her pillow.
“I was thinking about how we fell asleep in the cabin. How nice it felt to have your bottom pressed against me.” He was teasing her, there was no way he could do anything about it right now, but he couldn’t help but think about her since she was sharing his bed.
He thought about that night a lot.
Sandra rolled over and glared at him in the darkness. He could see the glint in her eyes from the moonlight streaming in through the wooden blinds. “Why are we talking about this right now?”
“Hey, you got some good teases in earlier. I’m sure I was quite funny on painkillers.”
“You were and I got it on video.”
His blood ran cold. “What?”
“You know how when people are high after dental surgery or after receiving really strong pain meds after their broken bones are set?”
“You did not.”
She chuckled wickedly. “You were sitting in a wheelchair laughing and laughing, telling me how much you were in pain. It was hilarious. And then you drooled all over your shirt on the ride back to my place.”
“You did not video me.”
“No,” she finally admitted. “But I should next time. It might be good for blackmail.”
“You’re slightly evil, Dr. Fraser.”
“So I’ve been told. Now go to sleep.”
“You have to get used to this,” he persisted.
“What?”
“People keeping you up. Kids keeping you up. I’m just training you for the inevitable.”
“If you weren’t injured, I would seriously slug you,” she muttered.
Kody chuckled softly, but it hurt too much. “Good night, Sandra.”
“Night,” she murmured, and it wasn’t long before he heard gentle snoring. He tried to relax against the pillows, but he couldn’t sleep. His brain was just running. Usually, when he couldn’t shut his mind down, he went and did some physical activity. Lifted weights, did some cardio, but all of that was out of the question.
He slowly slipped out of bed and found the charger to his phone. He plugged it in and waited for the screen to turn on. He was worried that he might’ve missed a call from Lucy or a text message, but he hadn’t.
Myrtle and Ted knew that he was working long hours
this week. Or he was supposed to be. He checked his social-media feeds and saw pictures of Lucy dressed as her favorite princess and having a great time.
He was envious of their vacation.
He wished he could be there, but work had to come first. It was how he provided for her and how he would have to help provide for the new baby.
He set his phone back down and climbed back into bed next to Sandra, trying not to disturb her. He wished he could roll on his side to sleep—that was usually how he slept. He never slept on his back and that was probably why he was having a hard time shutting his mind down to get rest.
You know that’s not the reason.
Try as he might, he knew the real reason that he couldn’t sleep was the fact he was in bed with Sandra and there wasn’t a damn thing he could do about it, even if he wanted to.
Well, he wanted to physically, but he wasn’t going to hurt her. He wasn’t going to do anything to hurt her the way she’d been hurt in the past and unless he could give his whole heart to her, then he couldn’t give anything of himself to her.
It wasn’t fair to her.
You gave a piece of yourself. She’s carrying your child.
His head was starting to hurt, and he knew that he needed to get some rest. He seriously doubted he had a concussion, but there was no point in tempting fate. He closed his eyes and tried to drift off to sleep.
Even if the rest of him was wide awake.
* * *
Sandra woke the next morning, startled at her location and the fact she was sharing a bed with Kody. She’d forgotten that she’d come in last night to give Kody an update on Robbie and that Kody had begged her to stay. She’d only been intending to stay for a little while. She hadn’t planned on spending the entire night.
She usually tossed and turned in her sleep and she was worried that she’d somehow hurt Kody, but she gently rolled over and saw that he was fine. He was on his back, his mouth wide open and catching flies.
And she couldn’t help but laugh quietly to herself.
She took this as a good opportunity to slip out of bed and get started on her research proposal, which was what she had been excited to start when Jocelyn had first suggested it, before the accident happened.