I clenched my teeth. “I did that because I had no choice. If I handed his ass to him, which I know I could, the other half-demons and I would be in a much bigger trouble right now, and you know it!”
“I understand your reasoning, but that doesn’t mean I want to see my daughter hurt.”
“And I don’t want to see this.” I gestured to where the mice lay on the stone floor, staining it with their blood.
My mother let out a long sigh. “We could try this with … I don’t know. Cockroaches? But then we would have to kill thousands of them each time you tried the spell. Their energy is too little to be manipulated.”
I liked the idea of killing cockroaches much more than killing mice, but I knew it would be hard.
I glanced at the mice and closed my eyes. “I don’t want to do this.”
“Please, Erin. I’m trying to help you here. You need to be able to do more than cast darkfire and swing a sword if you’re going to survive until graduation.”
Graduation was less than two years from now.
I frowned. “You think my father will come for me before I graduate?”
“I can’t be certain, but I believe so. Honestly, I don’t know what is taking him so long. The only thing I know is that he likes games.” She shrugged. “Maybe he’s taking his time to play with us.”
“That is just cruel.”
My mother let out a hollow chuckle. “That is who he is. Cruel. Evil. Vicious.” She placed a hand on my shoulder. “Please, Erin, just try. The mice are already dead now. Let me run you through it while you try. Okay?”
I didn’t like this. Actually, I loathed this. But I understood what my mother was saying. I understood why she was doing this.
Breathing through my mouth, I turned to the mice. “Just for the record, I don’t like this.”
“It’s okay.” Standing half a foot behind me, my mother put her hands on my shoulders and pushed me forward. “You don’t need to like it. You just need to learn it.”
I wrinkled my nose again. Holy shit … Blood covered the mice, staining the stone floor underneath them. If I squinted, the blood mixed with the darkness and I could almost pretend the mice were sleeping instead.
Yeah, that was better. I would think the mice were sleeping.
“I’m ready,” I told my mother, even though I didn’t feel like it. But if I waited until I felt ready to steal the energy of dead mice, then it would be never.
“All right,” my mother started. She went on a long speech about how I had to channel my magic and use it to guide the energy out of their bodies. I had to use the dark side of my magic and shape it like a giant, invisible hook that I would fish the energy with.
It sounded so simple, but every time I tried to send my magic to the mice, it faded. Not because I couldn’t hold on to it, but because I didn’t seem to get what I was doing. I lost the nerve before my magic even touched the dead mice, and my power faded.
“I can’t do it,” I said with an exaggerated sigh.
“You’re not trying hard enough!” my mother protested.
I turned to her, my eyes fuming. “I am trying, but I can’t. Think about it. I can’t do this with mice; you really think that someday I’ll be able to do this with demons? Or with people? Even if I know the theory, I won’t be able to do it.”
“Then you’re dead!” my mother shouted. I flinched at her words and the tone of her voice. She let out a long breath. “Sorry. I didn’t mean it like that.”
“I know what you meant,” I muttered.
“Erin, please, try it once more.”
I couldn’t. Not right now. I shook my head. “I’m done for the night,” I whispered before walking away.
I thought my mother would yell at me, curse me, demand I return, but she didn’t do any of those things. I was glad she didn’t, because I was about to either puke or breakdown, or both, and I didn’t want her to see me like that.
What my mother was asking me to do … that was dangerous. Dark. Evil. Not just because I had to use dark magic to perform the spell, but because I was stealing the last energy of dead bodies. It was like stealing their last breaths.
I hated it.
Although this spell might not be for me, I understood what my mother was trying to do and I tried accepting it—she was looking for an advantage for me. Something I could do that would give me a chance, that would at least buy me more time.
I just wished I didn’t have to use dark magic to accomplish it.
8
Rey
For about a week, I tried following Randall around, but he was aware of his every move, as if he suspected someone was following him. Even when I shifted into my raven form, he still seemed to hold back.
So that was a bust.
In class, Erin continued the same. In the last week, we had had two other classes, and she acted like the first class. She didn’t participate. She didn’t even look in my direction, or open her books, or do any of the work I assigned.
She was getting one bad grade after the other, and what upset me was that I knew she was a great student. She was doing it to spite me.
It was fucking working.
To be honest, I thought she would come after me with a vengeance after she spent the night in my bed last week. I knew she was upset that I disappeared and didn’t go back all night. I gave her all the space she needed, and hopefully, she slept in before heading to her dorm room.
Our disciplinary action was supposed to be a week ago, exactly on the day she got hurt, but because of that incident, we postponed it.
Her detention was tonight. I was in my classroom in the Hyacinth building, waiting for her, trying—and failing—to grade papers from a quiz I had given earlier in the week while I waited.
I probably looked cool and uncaring on the outside, but my heart hammered hard against my chest. In a few minutes, Erin would arrive, and we would be alone in this classroom for ninety minutes.
It would be torture.
It would be fucking paradise.
A knock came from the half-opened door.
I sat straighter. “Come in.”
Erin stepped into the classroom. “I’m here.” She was dressed in jeans, a black blouse, and flats. Her hair was loose around her shoulders and down her back, and her face was makeup-less. She looked beautiful as always.
I stared at her as a million thoughts crossed my mind.
She looked well, though a little bored. The healing potion I had given her, and the one Claire was putting into her coffee every morning, was helping; there were no more visible bruises on her pretty face.
I was glad she had stood up to Professor Martha about syphoning the life energy of those mice. Yeah, I was a creeper, a stalker, because I had been following her much more closely now. After what happened with Tom and his friends, I wouldn’t risk it, not even for a few minutes. So, I followed Erin around whenever I could.
Because she had been with her mother that night, I hadn’t stayed too close, especially because they would see a suspicious raven flying near the turret, but I had seen enough. Professor Martha was insane if she thought having Erin dig deeper into her dark magic would help her win against King Brikan.
Only a miracle would save Erin against the supreme demon.
And I would either be this fucking miracle or I would come up with one, because Erin would win. It didn’t matter how, but Erin would win.
“I see.” Letting go of the papers I was grading, I stood. “You can start by polishing the swords we used in class this week.” I pointed to the back wall, where a cabinet with the weapons was. “You’ll find a rag, the polish, and everything you need in the cabinet.”
She frowned. “That is all? Polish the swords?”
“For now, yes.”
She nodded once, then retreated to the back wall.
And I had to force myself to sit down and resume grading my papers. Though, I had to admit, I would grade everything wrong. So, I pushed the papers aside, but tried to plan my
lessons for next week. Even if I listed topics, at least I was doing something useful.
My eyes shifted to the stack of papers I had been grading. Right on top, was Erin’s quiz. She hadn’t answered one question. It wasn’t that she hadn’t answered them right. She hadn’t even written her entire name on it. Just “E.”
I stared at her across the room. She pulled the swords from the cabinet and spread them over the sparring mat. Then, with the rag and polish in hand, she sat down in the middle of the swords. She reached for the closest one, placed it on top of her folded legs, and began polishing it.
Looking at her right now was like looking at her in class—she was there, but her mind wasn’t. She didn’t pay attention to a word I said, or to whatever she was supposed to do. There was a permanent dull light in her eyes, as if it was too painful for her to do anything else other than mope.
Than mourn.
I hated seeing her like this.
She was so absentminded, when she changed swords, one slipped from her and fell to her side with a faint clank.
Erin gasped and clutched at her index finger.
“What is it?” I asked, already halfway to her. I hopped over the swords on the floor and knelt beside her. “What happened?”
“Nothing,” she said, not looking at me. She still held on to her finger.
“Let me see.” I grabbed her hands and pulled them toward me. A red line stained the tip of Erin’s index finger. “You cut yourself.”
“It’s nothing.” She tugged on her hands.
I tsked, not in the mood to argue. Instead, I shot up, went back to my desk on the other corner of the room, opened a drawer, and got gauze, an antibiotic cream, and a Band-Aid from the first aid kit. When I went back to her, Erin finally looked at me, her golden eyes huge. Wary.
I sat down beside her. “It’ll be okay,” I said, taking her hand and placing it in my lap. I cleaned the cut with the gauze, wiping most of the blood away. The cut was small but in a sensitive spot. It began bleeding again right away.
I pressed the gauze to the cut, hoping to stop the bleeding with the pressure.
“You don’t need to do this,” Erin said, tugging her hand back.
I held on to her wrist. “Some of these swords are old and rusty. We should make sure this cut won’t give you trouble later.”
“Then I can do it myself.”
I stared at her. “Erin, I want to do this.”
She swallowed hard.
“I’m sorry,” she said in a whisper.
I frowned. “For?”
“For my friends taking me to your house that day. If I had known they were taking me to your house, or if I had been more conscious about what was happening, I wouldn’t have let them. I would have rather taken my chances in the infirmary.”
“You’re so averse to me that besides spacing out during my classes, you would have rather been mistreated and injured more, or worse?”
Her eyes hardened. “I’m averse to you? Are you for real?”
“Then what is it?”
“You’re the one who wants nothing to do with me! I was dumped at your house, and then you disappeared because you couldn’t stand having me there.”
My jaw went slack. She thought I had disappeared because I disliked her? Was she crazy? “I won’t answer that,” I muttered. It was killing me to let her think that, but if it meant she would keep her distance from me, then so be it.
“When I woke up in the middle of the night and saw my clothes beside the door, I left,” she said. “I wish I had a way of letting you know. Oh, hey, I just left your house. You can come back now.”
“You left? In the middle of the night?” I asked, my gut tensing. “What time was that?”
She shrugged. “I don’t remember exactly. Maybe three in the morning?”
Holy fuck, she had been walking alone around campus at three in the morning, while I was trying to nap in my office. What if something had happened to her?
One more reason I should never take my eyes off her.
Something vicious swam in my veins, and I clenched my teeth hard to contain it inside of me. I wasn’t mad at her. I was mad at this fucking situation.
I took a deep, calming breath. “Erin, you can’t go around alone, okay? Especially not in the middle of the night.”
Her brows curled down. “Should I hire a babysitter twenty-four-seven?”
“That wouldn’t be a bad idea,” I snapped. She couldn’t talk seriously about this? She had to answer like that? She pulled her hand from mine. “Stop being so stubborn and let me see it.” I grabbed her hand and pulled off the gauze. The bleeding had stopped.
Gently, I applied the cream over the cut, then wrapped a Band-Aid around it.
A force stronger than myself and my will hit me hard. I placed a kiss on top of the Band-Aid. Erin went still. Before I could stop myself, I turned her hand, leaned closer, and kissed the inside of her wrist. Erin inhaled sharply.
I locked my eyes on hers, and something there pulled me in. I couldn’t stop myself even if I wanted to.
And I sure didn’t want to.
Pulling her to me, I leaned over her. Erin didn’t resist. In fact, when I lowered my mouth to hers, she answered right away. I brushed my lips on hers and she let out a long sigh, as if she had been waiting for that. She parted her lips for me, letting me in.
My mouth glued to hers, I snaked my arm around her waist and laid her down on the mat, careful with all the swords around us, and pressed my body to hers. Her taste was sweet on my tongue, and her enticing rose scent filled my nostrils, and intoxicated my mind.
Erin wound her legs around my hips, locking me close to her. She snaked her hands around my shoulders and buried her nails in my back. Even through my clothes, I could feel how sharp and long they were. This kind of pain was pleasure.
Slowly, I slipped my hand under her blouse, feeling the warm and silky skin of her stomach, the hard planes of the muscles underneath. My hand went up and up, until my fingertips teased the outline of her bra.
Gasping against my mouth, Erin arched her back into my touch. Unable to resist, I pressed my hips into hers. Could she feel how much I wanted her? How much I craved her?
This … this was heaven. I could die right now and I would die satisfied.
Erin’s hands traveled south, around my middle, down my hips. She grabbed the waist of my pants, her fingertips sneaking underneath as she undid the button.
I stilled.
Wait.
This was heaven, but I didn’t deserve heaven.
Breaking the kiss, I jumped up and moved several feet from her. “This isn’t right,” I muttered.
Erin propped herself on her elbows, her eyes round. “Are you serious?”
I shook my head, trying to clear the fog from my mind. While she stayed here, the risk of losing control was too great. “You should go.”
Cheeks reddening, Erin unfolded from the floor. “I don’t understand …”
“There’s nothing to understand.” I averted my gaze, lest the disappointed and frustrated glint in her eyes make me regret this decision. “I’m your professor; you’re a student. This is not just wrong, it’s forbidden.” If she didn’t hear any other of my reasons to stay away, she had to hear that. Because if we were caught, I would be fired, and if I was fired, I couldn’t protect her. “This disciplinary action is done. Over. You can go now.”
For a moment, Erin didn’t move at all. I thought I would have to say something terrible to her so she would finally run from me, but it wasn’t necessary. When she marched away from the classroom, I got a glimpse of her face and I could see that besides her disappointment, her eyes also told me she was mortified.
Holy fuck.
I needed a breather. I needed some time far away from her, to calm my mind and body, before I broke down and told her exactly how I felt.
But I couldn’t get away from her.
Like the fucking creep I was, I sucked it up and went after her. Outs
ide the Hyacinth building, I shifted into my raven and followed her as she ran to the Gardenia building.
Hadn’t I told her to not walk alone around campus? Especially at night?
That was why I was following her. After what happened with Tom, I didn’t feel right leaving her alone for a minute. Though I needed distance from her right now, I couldn’t abandon her. I would rather suffer through my agony, my desire, my pain, than risk having her hurt again.
I perched on the branches of a tree beside the building and watched as Erin ran through the front door, wiping at her face. Fuck, she was crying.
I felt like a giant jerk right now.
I stayed on the tree branch until the lights of her room came on. Then I flew away. I would fly around for a few minutes, hoping the cool air of the night sky calmed my racing heart and brought reason to my mind.
9
Erin
Worse than being pushed away after being kissed by Rey? Having to go to his class. I ignored him and his lectures and lessons even more now.
During the first half of class, I kept my book closed and my eyes out the window, trying hard to shut all of his words out. During the second half, I sat down on a corner of the mat—the same one we had tangled together on—and pretended nothing was going on.
One day, Claire sat down beside me for a moment. “Everyone is noticing something is wrong,” she told me. Of course, she knew what had happened between Rey and me.
That night, I had run back to my dorm, with tears burning my eyes. Once I was inside my bedroom, I let myself cry for two minutes. Then I was done. Until the next day when Claire asked me how the disciplinary action went and I started crying again.
I had felt dirty and ashamed. If I let the dark thoughts in my mind do the talking, I would believe Rey was toying with me. Kissing me here and there, then kicking me out like a stray dog. And every time I remembered he had pulled back right when I reached for his pants, my cheeks warmed with embarrassment. What? He thought all that kissing wasn’t going anywhere? My body screamed for his every moment of the day. I wasn't sure if it was part of the soul bond, but I was tired of it. And now Rey probably thought I was a whore, reaching for his pants like that.
The Soul Bond (Rite World: Blackthorn Hunters Academy Book 3) Page 6