by Dyble, S R
I closed my eyes and nodded before gulping hard once again.
* * *
After that, I had to wait for the doctor to come and see me, and when he did, he explained everything I’d already been told by the nurse. That the impact of my injuries had made my body shut down in order to heal and as he spoke, I recalled each and every lashing of abuse I’d received from Ralph and his men. Just thinking about him made my skin crawl and as I laid back in my grandparents’ company, I heard the door open.
“Am I okay to see her?” The sound of Nick’s voice made me sit up so fast that the bruising on my body hurt like a bitch.
Both grandparents and Lilly looked at me and I nodded. At that moment and under Nick’s stare, Lilly got up and left without even looking at him.
He followed her with his eyes until she was gone and regret could be seen on his face as my grandparents, too, got up and gave us some time together.
Cautiously Nick approached me and looked me up and down.
“Have you looked in the mirror yet?” he asked me and I shook my head.
“Why, is it that bad?” I replied.
He didn’t answer my question.
“They’re gone now, Eve, they can’t hurt you again, I swear it,” he said, his words laced with hatred.
“You were there that night, Nick, I heard your voice."
Nodding he moved closer and glanced around behind him to make sure no one was here.
“I was the one who shot Ralph, it was me who came to you and picked you up afterwards."
“You were in a black mask and with a machine gun?”
It couldn’t be hidden, I was scared because looking at Nick, if so much violence could be hidden beneath such a face then the world was a lot scarier than I had thought. Men with guns usually looked evil, just like Ralph and his bodyguards.
“Don’t be afraid of me, Eve. I’m a good guy, I swear it, and so is Kit."
At the mention of his name, I stared down at my hands and felt my chest tighten.
“You don’t know what he is, Nick. I know he’s your brother but-”
“I know he lied to you, Eve, we had to. We had no choice."
“We, as in him and you?”
“The group you saw, the group of men in black with the masks on, they were men from Delta. Delta is the security firm your dad started, and the security firm that Kit and I both work for."
“Those men? So, why do they wear masks?. Why do you wear masks?”
“It’s to conceal our identity, we deal with the most dangerous men in the world, we have to protect our identity because if not we’d all be dead."
Fear must have coated my face and he must have seen it because he was staring at me but made no effort to sugarcoat what he’d said.
“Ralph worked for Delta, he was your dad’s partner and supposed friend. It was never thought that he was the one that had them killed so he could take over. After your dad died, he took over command and we were all called to a meeting to discuss you, his daughter. We were told that you’d be in danger and that you’d need protecting and that’s where Kit came in. We were told to take care of you, to pretend to be normal guys enrolling onto a course but we were there to conceal you, to make sure you wouldn’t be taken. The day you were kidnapped we’d been informed that there had been rumours, rumours that meant you were going to be kidnapped and Kit was going to tell you everything but it was too late ..."
“Why are you telling me all of this?”
“Because you need to know. I know it should be Kit telling you but you need to know the truth so that I can ask what I’m about to ask of you."
“And what is that?”
“No one knows about Delta, Eve. It’s kept a secret for a reason. The police will be here soon to question you and they have no idea what Delta is or who we are."
“How can they not know?”
“Delta is top secret, only the government knows of our existence."
Holy crap.
“So, what happens now? Ralph mentioned something about me inheriting my dad’s wealth, did he mean the firm?”
Nick nodded, “You don’t need to worry about any of that. Someone has already been assigned the role of taking over from where Ralph left off. There will come a time where you’ll be spoken to about your dad’s firm, for now, just heal. Things are all up in the air right now at Delta, the last thing on anyone's mind is dealing with your dad’s inheritance, as brutal as that sounds.”
I was glad because I wasn’t ready to deal with anything like that.
“So, I just have to wait for someone to come and talk to me?” That sounded weird...
Again, he nodded. “Unless you’re eager to go into Delta right now and sort it yourself, then yeah. Your grandparents will know nothing about Delta, your father will have told no one but your mother in order to protect you all. The more people who know about Delta, the more people we have who need protecting."
“So, you’re telling me that I’m going to need protecting now?”
Just as Nick was about to answer, we both heard the doors open and along with the nurse, two policemen stood there smiling at me.
“Miss Johnson, do you mind if we have a word?”
I looked at Nick who gave me a reassuring smile before getting up, to my shock he placed a kiss to my cheek, which was probably the only part of my face available to kiss. I still hadn’t had a chance to look in the mirror, and I was putting it off. After feeling my face, I knew there was a huge bandage wrapped around my head. My left cheek felt swollen and pained me like a bitch. What hurt the most was my head and the pressure of the bandage made it hurt more.
Once Nick left, the nurse followed him and I tried to remain confident, knowing I was about to lie to two officers of the law.
What seemed like hours later, I’d finally come to the end of my explanation and each of them looked up at me from their notepads to make sure I was finished.
“That’s everything?” one of them asked.
I nodded. “I told you, I have no idea why it happened to me, my boyfriend (at the time) followed them when they kidnapped me and he was able to get inside and rescue me, but he was shot in the process."
I was terrified because mine and Nick’s conversation had been brief. He didn’t tell me what to tell them. What if they’d been fed a totally different alibi by Kit? One that didn’t match my own?
Both of them nodded once more, wished me a fast recovery, and said they’d be in touch before I was released from the hospital. I knew they were referring to some sort of protection for me, there had to be a reason why I’d been kidnapped which meant it was likely to happen again. At least, that’s what they thought, and I nodded and hoped Nick would come back in to speak to me as they left.
“You okay?” he asked as he came back into the room.
I sighed in relief and nodded. “How do I know I’ve told them the right thing?”
“Don’t worry about it, they’re already on the case at Delta, by the time they get back to the station, the case will have mysteriously been handed to higher-ups and they’ll have no involvement in it anymore."
“So, Delta has the ability to just remove them from the case?”
“Yep, it was important to do things that way for now until it’s sorted through Delta because the last thing we need is two police officers suspecting something and delving too deep into their research."
“They can do that?”
“It wouldn’t be the first time an officer has gone further than his role to try and figure it out."
“And did he?”
“No, of course not. We’re as secret as the damn aliens are at area 51,” he smiled.
“Not really a secret, though, everyone suspects there are aliens there."
Nick smirked and it hurt that I saw Kit in him, it hurt so damn much.
“You’re right, but they’re still a secret and so are we."
I nodded and laid my head back.
“He’s going out of his mind,
Eve."
I knew who he was referring to but I wasn’t ready to talk about him.
“I can’t talk about him, Nick, I’m sorry."
Nodding he got up. “I get it, but you will be ready to talk to him at some point and I pray it’s sometime soon, I’ve never seen my brother so messed up."
“Wait,” I gripped onto his arm as he was about to walk away.
“What happens now? You said something about protection."
“Although the threat has been detained- ”
“You mean killed?” I cut him off.
“Yes, Eve. Now that Ralph has been killed, the threat goes with him, you won’t need any further protection but there will always be a close eye on you."
“This is all so fucked up,” I said, throwing my head back but as soon as I did, I yelled out in pain.
“Jesus, Eve, careful. You’ve got stitches in the back of your head.”
“I have?” I stared at him, running my hand along the back of my head.
“I need to see,” I said as I tried to get up.
“You shouldn’t be getting up, wait, I’ll go get someone."
“Nick, help me,” I said, looking him in the eyes.
Nodding, he placed his arm around me and gently lifted me from the bed, careful to not pull the cannula or the drip from my arm. As he helped me walk, he pulled the drip along with us.
“You okay?” he asked and I nodded, all I could focus on was the mirror that was on the far wall that was slowly becoming closer.
Just as I reached it, we both heard the door open and Lilly rushed in.
“What the hell are you doing?” She glared at Nick and came around my other side to help hold me up.
“I need to see,” I told her desperately. I needed to see now more than ever what had actually happened and as I neared the mirror, I saw it all.
The huge bandage wrapped around my head was like a headband, it started at the forehead and went all the way around under my hair.
My cheekbone was red and bruised and even with such a large bandage on I could see the purple and blue marks coming from beneath it.
Lilly told me to stop as I ran my hand around my head and under my hair to where the bandage wrapped around the back of my head.
“You have stitches in the back of your head and in your forehead,” she told me and I looked at her.
She must have seen the fear in my face because she brought her hand to my shoulder and gripped me a little tighter.
“It’s over now, Eve,” she promised and I nodded as my eyes filled with tears.
“Did they have to cut my hair?”
“Yes, they had to in order to stitch, once the bandage is removed it’ll be covered by the rest of your hair."
The hatred I felt left a sickening taste in my mouth and as they helped me back to my bed, I reached for the water on the side and sipped at it.
“Your throat may be a little sore,” Lilly said.
I had already felt the slices to my throat as I drank and I knew the pain had come from screaming so much. Even a week later my throat felt so sore, I feared for what it would have been like if I were awake a week ago.
Glancing over at Nick, I couldn’t help but see him watching Lilly, who made every effort not look at him.
“You both need to talk,” I said without thinking and I saw the hope in Nick’s eyes, something seemed different about him but I wasn’t sure what. I didn’t know Nick that well. In fact, today had been the most I’d ever spoken to him but I understood him. He was a player, he didn’t do the romance thing and wasn’t looking for it, but still, he had changed. I could tell.
“Eve,” Lilly warned. “Let’s just get you better."
“I’m gonna go, you’ve got my number if you need anything?” Nick asked and I nodded, smiling at him.
“Thank you for coming."
We had to be careful what we were going to say because Lilly was listening now and knew nothing of Delta or Nick and Kit’s real jobs. It would have to remain that way, in order to protect her.
“Thank you for letting me see you,” he said, and I knew what he’d meant. It didn’t hurt that Nick had lied to me, and that was why I was able to talk to him. He hadn’t lied to me, made me fall in love with him or taken my virginity and told me he’d loved me when there was no way he could. That was all Kit.
“What’s going on with you two?” I asked Lilly after he’d left.
“Nothing,” she shook her head.
“You’re lying."
Closing her eyes, Lilly shook her head. “Let’s just say you were probably right, Eve, I can’t do the friends with benefits thing, it just doesn’t work."
I could hear the hurt in her voice and I knew there was so much more to what she’d said but I didn’t want to push her to tell me right now.
Instead, I nodded and took her hand.
“What happened with you and Kit?” she asked and I had no idea what to say.
“I’d just rather never talk about him again, if that’s okay?” I asked her and I waited for her to deny my request but instead, she nodded as if she totally understood.
“As long as we can promise never to talk about either of them."
She was talking about Nick, and that told me that something had definitely happened, maybe that was why she understood that I never wanted to talk about Kit again.
“Deal,” I nodded.
Her eyes seemed to reflect mine because they were filled with hurt too and I knew we’d both been stung by the Carson brothers in some way, and that hurt even more.
“Thank you for being here,” I said, squeezing her hand.
“Eves, I wouldn’t wanna be anywhere else."
Spending three days stuck in a hospital was my idea of hell and the longer I stayed, the worse it got because the sense of feeling trapped made the nights even worse. Every night I’d disturbed the nurses by waking up in a screaming fit.
Being enclosed meant all of the thoughts were playing over and over in my mind until each night they’d wake me up with horrific night terrors.
I kept seeing Ralph’s face and hearing the gun being fired as I watched the bullet disappear into Kit’s chest, not knowing if he’d survive or not. What hurt even more was that even when I woke up to find he was okay, the second lot of hurt came when I realized and remembered who Kit really was. My head hurt so much but I wasn’t sure if it was from my continuous crying or from the wounds that were still wrapped up tight.
As I laid there, I kept remembering my parents and thinking of my dad, now knowing the secret he’d kept from me. I tried so hard not to let it ruin the image I had of him. What if it meant I didn’t know my dad at all? That he had been a completely different person and the person I thought I knew didn’t exist? It hurt so bad to think about that, but the fear only got worse, and it was safe to say that I was losing my mind inside the four walls of the hospital room.
When I finally could go home, it wasn’t without counselling being set up first and I agreed only so that I could finally be sent home instead of some sort of mental house.
“Right, you ready for these bandages to come off?” the nurse asked as she came into my room and smiled at me.
“Never been readier,” I answered and I stared at both of my grandparents as they smiled at me from across the room.
I closed my eyes as the nurse started untangling the bandages and I didn’t know why, perhaps I was preparing myself for what was to come but I kept them closed until I felt the last part of the strip being tugged from my forehead.
“The stitches will need to come out in two weeks, they need to be kept dry until then."
“You mean, I can’t wash my hair for two weeks?”
“Jesus, that’s the most horrific part of this whole ordeal,” my grandad said, taking the piss out me with a huge grin on his face.
“Shut it, you, you don’t have enough hair to know my pain,” I said back and he shook his head, smirking.
“Unfortunately, no, you can’
t wash your hair until the stitches come out, but trust me, you won’t want to anyway until they’ve healed some more,” the nurse said.
It was time for me to see myself in the mirror properly. Every day, I’d looked at myself and watched as the bruising got worse and then slowly improved. Now, as I moved across the room to take a look, I gulped hard and tried to prepare myself for the worst.
Although on first impressions I looked god-awful, I was so relieved that the gash to my head hadn’t been direct across my forehead but had been between my hairline. That way if it was to scar, I wouldn’t have a huge mark on my forehead like Harry Potter.
My grandma told me to be careful as I ran my fingers around my head to the huge bald patch under the rest of my hair and as I ran my fingers over the shaved skin, I could feel each stitch and risen piece of skin.
I didn’t carry on touching it because it still hurt.
“You’ll need some strips of bandages to keep them clean,” the nurse said from behind me and I nodded.
“Maybe you have more hair than me after all, grandad,” I commented as I headed back to the nurse.
“Don’t be daft.” My grandad frowned at me.
It was my time to finally go home and once outside the hospital I gulped the fresh air.
Then, holding my arms around myself, I walked forward cautiously.
I remembered feeling like this only a year earlier when I’d been discharged. Only, last year I had left the hospital missing three people in my life.
* * *
Being home after such a dramatic turnaround felt weird, like everything had changed, but it hadn’t. My grandparents’ house was just the same, everything looked the same but I felt so different. I stared at the chair my dad would sit on and thought about the conversations we’d had. Everything felt tainted, like none of it was true and it hurt so bad that I took shelter in my bedroom and didn’t really leave it for the next two weeks.
Lilly came and went and brought me food, we watched films together and she left me to heal in my own way, being careful not to pressure me too much into talking about everything. I appreciated that more than anything because I honestly just wanted to forget the full thing and forget about Kit.