by Carly Winter
She had no idea who my grandfather was, and she never married. So I understood when my mother claimed she played by her own set of rules, because no truer statement had ever been uttered, especially for a woman who grew up in the sixties.
When Ruby had died three years ago while in bed with the handyman, I’d been heartbroken. The woman represented everything in life I would never be, and I found consolation with the fact she’d gone doing something she loved.
“The nice thing about being dead is my joints don’t snap and crack when I get up from the floor,” she said as she stood.
“This isn’t real,” I muttered, also rising while grabbing the dirty laundry. “Just ignore it. I need medical help. Go away.”
“So tell me where you’ve been,” Ruby said as I walked right through her. “You were gone… what… a week? I tend to lose track of time. Boredom does that to me.”
I dropped the soiled sheets in the hallway, grabbed some clean sheets and towels from the closet, and headed to the next bedroom, making sure to tread lightly over the carpet so I didn’t disturb my guest. Ruby trailed behind me and never stopped talking.
“You saw me for a second, Bernie. Your face gave that away. Just admit that you’re talking to a ghost.”
After taking a deep breath, I opened the door to the guestroom that still needed cleaning. They hadn’t been nearly as tidy and I groaned in frustration as I surveyed the mess. Beer cans lay on the nightstands and on top of the dresser.
Peals of laughter sounded from behind me. “Oh, wow! I wish I had dropped in on this party!”
I meandered into the bathroom and found my white towels stained with red lipstick. “Who wipes their lipstick off with a towel?” I mumbled while studying the spot and wondering if I’d be able to remove it.
“Someone who had no regard for a good lipstick,” Ruby said over my shoulder. “Everyone knows lipstick should be taken off while kissing, not rubbing it on a towel.”
Glancing into the mirror, I saw nothing except my own reflection, yet I felt her behind me, just as if she were alive. A brief memory of me visiting her during the summer when I was seventeen came to mind. It had been so hot, and we’d decided a day trip to Slide Rock, a natural swimming pool, would be the perfect way to cool off.
When we arrived, Ruby dropped our chairs in the middle of a group of college kids and started up a conversation. Before I knew it, my outgoing grandmother became the center of attention as she flirted with the boys and gave advice to the girls. Someone put a beer in my hand while music started to play. Ruby stripped down to her bikini and yelled, “Dance Party!”
I watched from my chair, wishing I could be as outgoing and social as she was, but it wasn’t in my nature. Instead, I tended to be shy and reserved, preferring to watch from the sidelines.
“Your mom is great!” one of the girls said.
With a grin, I nodded and sipped my beer, not bothering to tell her she was actually my grandmother. She’d had my mother early in her twenties and didn’t look a day over forty.
I’ll never forget the sight of Ruby coming down the rock slide with a beer in one hand and a joint in the other while screaming in delight.
She’d always encouraged me to live and push boundaries, while my own mother preferred the straight and narrow path. Ruby’s behavior that day would have horrified her, and she’d have probably said something to the effect that Ruby needed to act her age.
But back to the ghost and my stained towels.
Dang it.
“I know you know I’m here, Bernie. You keep looking at me. So why aren’t you talking to me?”
With a sigh, I grabbed the towels, stripped the bed, and tossed the beer cans into a large trash bag. I even found a few empties under the desk, as well as a spot on the carpet where someone had spilled a beverage. With a curse, I went to get the carpet cleaner and debated whether or not to return their deposit.
“You can’t keep ignoring me forever,” Ruby said. “I won’t let you.” I glanced over at her as she stretched out on the bed I’d just made, a huge smile tugging at her mouth, her blue eyes dancing with mischief. “I tried to get your attention for months after you moved in and you never noticed me. I know you see me now.”
“You aren’t real,” I said, staring at her. “Go away. You are a product of my injury. I’m going to see a doctor and you’ll eventually disappear.”
Ruby laughed, a sound that had always made everyone in the room join in. It wasn’t a delicate little sound, but an unapologetic loud guffaw that came directly from the gut, and I couldn’t help but smile. Admittedly, I was enjoying my brief brush with insanity.
“First, I’ll try meditation, to focus my mind,” I continued. “If that doesn’t work, I’ll head to the doctor.”
“You aren’t going to be able to concentrate me away,” Ruby said as she rose from the bed and stood directly in front of me. “And you don’t need a doctor, Bernie. I’m dead, and I’m here.”
I stared into her eyes and for a brief moment, I believed her. Maybe I wasn’t crazy. What if the lightning had opened up some type of connection to the dead? Oh, my gosh. Would I start seeing ghosts wherever I went?
No. I didn’t believe in the paranormal. I’d been hit by lightning and something in my brain had short-circuited. That was the only logical excuse. Heck, maybe I just needed some rest.
“I’m finishing up this room, and then I’m going to take a nap. When I get up, you’ll be gone.”
“You go ahead and believe that, but I’ll still be around. You do look tired, though. Did you go on a bender and not invite me?”
“I don’t do benders,” I muttered as I straightened the pillows on the bed. “I was back in Louisiana for Tilly’s wedding.”
“How was it?”
I began to tell her about the disaster I’d witnessed, but then remembered I was talking to my own imagination. “You aren’t real,” I whispered.
“Okay, you believe what you want,” Ruby said with a sigh. “You’re absolutely no fun, Bernie.”
She strode from the room, leaving behind the scent of marijuana and lavender soap. I stared at the doorway for a long moment and then shook my head. “See? She’s gone. A figment of your imagination.”
I gathered my cleaning supplies, the dirty linens, and glanced over the room one last time with a critical eye. Much better than when I’d walked in.
After hurrying down the stairs, I started the laundry then went into my own bedroom, falling across the bed. I glanced around the space, which used to be Ruby’s, and didn’t find any sign of her. Nothing. “Thank goodness,” I whispered as I pulled a pillow under my head and curled up on my side.
My cat, Elvira, came out from under the bed and snuggled up next to me. “I’m so happy to see you,” I whispered as I stroked her head. “I missed you.”
She glanced over at me, then shut her eyes, which seemed like a really good idea, so I followed suit.
I didn’t know how long I’d been out when I was jerked awake by Ruby’s voice.
“Bernie!” she yelled. “Get up!”
Shooting to my feet, my breath sawed as my hands shook. “What?! What’s wrong?!” I found her sitting in my rocking chair. Elvira tore from the room, obviously as upset as I was that our nap had been disturbed.
“Jeez, Bernie. You still sleep like you’re dead.”
“Oh my gosh! Why are you doing this?” I yelled as I grabbed my head. “Why are you hassling me?”
“Don’t be such a drama queen,” Ruby said. “And I woke you because you need to call the police.”
I stared at the ghostly image of my grandmother and wanted to throttle her, but then I realized what she’d said. “Why do I need to call the police?”
“Your guest upstairs? He’s a goner.”
“What does that mean?” I asked, rubbing my tired eyes. “Are you saying he left already?”
Ruby sighed and shook her head. “He’s dead, Bernie.”
Chapter 3
He
r statement jolted me out of whatever sleep had been left. My heart thundered as I turned on my heel and ran out of my room and up the stairs. Ruby leaned against the wall next to my guest's room with Elvira standing at her side, staring up at her. I knew at that second my cat could see Ruby and had been watching her since we moved in.
“Okay,” I said, standing in front of the door and rubbing my sweaty palms on my jeans. “How do you know he's dead?”
Ruby nodded her head toward the room. “Take a look. It's pretty obvious.”
As I laid my hand on the doorknob, I paused for a moment. What if this was part of my hallucination? What if I barged in on my guest and found him sitting on the toilet? What if he then wrote a scathing review about the B&B owner who forced her way in on her customers unannounced?
Knock first.
“What's his name?” I mumbled, shutting my eyes. “Gardner? No that's not it. Gomez?”
“It's Gonzalez. At least that's what I thought I heard when he checked in.”
I glanced over at the ghost. “Thanks.” Taking a deep breath, I knocked on the door. “Mr. Gonzalez?”
No answer. Crud.
“Mr. Gonzalez?” I called, louder this time. “It's Bernadette Maxwell, the owner. Are you okay?”
Silence.
“He's dead, Bernie,” Ruby said as I pressed my ear against the door. “He's not going to answer.”
“Are you sure that's his name?”
“Not really, but me remembering his name doesn't make him any less dead.”
I swore under my breath and opened the door. Mr. Gonzalez lay on the bed, his eyes open and staring at the ceiling. “Oh, no,” I muttered as I walked in.
“See? Deader than Elvis.”
I strode over to the side of the bed and gently placed my fingers on his neck. Nothing. His mouth had a strange white foam around it. I stared at him a moment, then the dry heaves overtook me. I raced from the room and back into the hallway. Hands on knees, I took some deep breaths and tried not to throw up.
“Death ain't pretty, Bernie,” Ruby said softly from behind me. “Call the police.”
She was right. I walked with wooden legs down the stairs to the living room where I grabbed my phone and dialed. Once I'd reported the body, I sat down and stared at the floor, unable to erase the image of the dead man from my mind.
“Are you okay?”
Glancing over, I found Ruby sitting on the other end of the couch. “How did you find him? Why were you in there?”
“You like to say this place is haunted, so I help you out from time to time,” she replied with a shrug. “When I went in there, he didn't look too healthy, and I realized he was a goner.”
“You were going in to haunt him?”
“Sure. I haven't got much else to do.”
It was then I realized that I was indeed speaking to my dead grandmother, and it didn't seem as upsetting or strange as it had before my nap.
“What exactly are you responsible for around here?” I asked, narrowing my gaze on her. “What do you do to my guests?”
“There isn't a lot I can do, Bernie. Sometimes if I blow on their neck, they'll say they have goosebumps. If I rush at them, they'll mention a cold draft.”
Sirens wailed in the distance as I nodded. It was what the customers had reported. I had no idea they were actually experiencing Ruby instead of their own imaginations. “How do you think he died?”
“Don't know. I'm not a doctor, and I didn't play one on television when I was alive. Although, I always thought I'd make a great movie star.”
A knock sounded at the front door, and I rose to answer it. Glancing over my shoulder, I noted Ruby remained on the couch, staring at me expectantly with Elvira at her side.
I opened the door to find Deputy Adam Gallagher, and my cheeks immediately flushed. With his blond hair and the bluest eyes I'd ever seen, I'd had a silent crush on him for months. I felt like an insecure, flustered fifteen-year-old-girl instead of a confident thirty-five-year-old woman who owned a business whenever I saw him.
There wasn't any friendly greeting as he pushed past me and our arms brushed against each other, sending a tingle over my skin. “Where's the body?”
“Upstairs. First door on the right.”
He nodded and bound up the staircase.
“My goodness, he's a cute one,” Ruby said.
“I know.”
“Don't date cops, though, Bernie. They're absolutely no fun.”
I nodded absently as I sat down again. Adam returned a moment later and took a seat on the couch across from me. Or, I should say, us.
“How're you holding up, Bernie?” he asked as he pulled a pen from his breast pocket and tapped it on the notepad in his hand.
“Okay, I guess,” I said. “I'm obviously upset about this.”
“Sure you are. Can you tell me what happened?”
“Well, I was taking a nap and—”
“Probably not a good idea to mention your dead grandmother woke you,” Ruby interrupted. “Makes you look a little bonkers, kiddo. You better pivot and change up the story.”
She was right. I cleared my throat, studied my hands for a second and tried to conjure a lie, which I had never excelled at. “I was napping, and when I woke up, I decided to check on my guest and I found him.”
“Why did you want to check on him?”
Yes, why indeed. It wasn't like I had ever just randomly barged into another customer's room to see what they had going on.
“Tell him the guest told you an hour ago he had an appointment but wanted to take a nap and needed someone to make sure he was awake,” Ruby said.
I repeated her story and Adam stared at me for a moment, his forehead pinched in confusion. “I thought you were napping?”
My hands became sweaty as I tried to continue the lie. “Well... the customer...”
“Oh, for the sake of everything holy, Bernie,” Ruby said with a sigh. “You've always been a horrible liar, and it's a skill you need, especially when talking to the police. Trust me on that. Tell him the customer came to you and wanted to be woken in an hour because he didn't have an alarm clock, and you thought a nap sounded like an excellent idea, so you decided to take a snooze as well!”
Once again, I parroted Ruby and that seemed to smooth Adam's puzzlement. He jotted down a few notes on his pad just as Sheriff Bruce Walker strode in. In his seventies, he had a head full of gray hair and a spring in his step. He glanced around before settling his serious gaze on me. I smiled, but he only nodded.
“Hey, Bruce,” Adam said.
“Adam. Where's the body?”
“Upstairs. First door on the right.”
“I didn't know old Bruce was still around,” Ruby said. “He's the reason why I told you not to date cops. That advice comes from personal experience.”
Of course, I didn't know much about my grandmother's former dating habits, but her free lifestyle wasn't a good fit for being involved with an officer of the law. Some of her favorite activities were illegal.
The sheriff hurried up the stairs and I returned my attention to Adam. Our gazes locked, and a deep blush once again crawled over my cheeks and down my neck.
Ruby sighed. “You don't want to date a cop, so quit looking at him like he's the best thing since sliced bread, Bernie. The simpering, blushing girl act doesn't suit you.”
If only she knew it wasn't an act. The man made my insides feel mushy.
Adam cleared his throat and tapped his pen on his pad once again. Had I noted a tint in his cheeks as well? “So, just to go over this one last time, your customer came downstairs... what's his name?”
“Mr. Gonzalez.”
“Right. He came downstairs and said he needed a nap and wanted you to wake him because he didn't have an alarm clock.”
“Correct.”
“What about his cell phone?”
I recalled seeing it plugged in, sitting on the bedside table. “He said the battery had gone dead and he was having trouble
keeping it charged. He asked me to wake him in case it didn't go off.”
“Nice one,” Ruby muttered. “Very nice play, my girl.”
I smiled and nodded as Adam scribbled in his notebook.
“Then you decided to lay down,” he stated, glancing up at me.
“Yes.”
“And when you woke, you went upstairs to rouse Mr. Gonzalez, and found him dead.”
“Yes.”
Wow, it was getting hot in the room. Was it Adam, or all the lies I needed to track?
“Okay. That seems pretty cut and dry. I didn't see any blood or anything.”
“Me neither.”
We sat in awkward silence for a long moment, then the sheriff came halfway down the stairs. “Adam, can you grab me a crime scene kit out of my car?”
“Sure,” the deputy said, shooting to his feet. “Be back in a minute.”
Walker turned and hurried back up the stairs.
“What do they need a crime scene kit for?” I whispered, turning to Ruby.
“Old Bruce must have seen something that convinced him it's a crime scene,” she answered.
“Like what?”
“I don't know. Do you want me to go find out?”
“Is that legal? Can you do that?”
Ruby shrugged. “Of course I can go spy on the sheriff, and who cares if it's legal?”
That was my grandmother. Laws didn't pertain to her, even in death.
“Okay, yes! Go!”
My grandmother smiled and disappeared into thin air. Now that I was alone for a brief moment, I had to question my sanity once again. Speaking with Ruby's ghost had proven to be beneficial to me in coming up with a plausible story for the cops. Real or not, I'd take her help as long as she wanted to stick around.
Adam returned and raced up the stairs, blowing right through Ruby as she descended. He stopped mid-stride, grabbed the banister and turned to look at me, his face once again set in a perplexed grimace, then he smiled.