by Angel Lawson
Holden takes a step forward, closing the gap between us. “Let us take care of the specifics.”
I look to Adrian, his gaze intense. “We’ll take care of you, Sierra.”
Being taken care of? I’m not sure I remember what that feels like. Adrian moves closer, he grazes his fingers across the back of my neck, sending a chill down my spine. Holden, tall and lean, stands over me, and I decide maybe it’s time to find out again.
They start slow, with tiny but sensual kisses. The kind that make the hair on my neck stand on end. They alternate, which is good, because both at once would be too much. Adrian focuses on my neck and shoulders, Holden on my mouth. My body reacts to both of them like a needy, starved woman. Which is exactly what I am.
This all takes place in the space between the kitchen and the living room, a no-man’s land. No bed. No couch. No countertops to sprawl on. Adrian pulls me against his body, leaning his back against the wall. He’s a stabilizing force—the guy who found me when I was lost. The one that answered when I called. I feel the swell of his erection against my backside, the hard muscles of his abdomen, and the warm of his mouth as he sucks my skin.
Holden positions himself in front of me, fingers trailing up and down my arms while his tongue explores my mouth. He tastes like beer, his touch heavenly. Gentle, but firm. Strong, while attentive. Neither pressure me to reciprocate. Thank god. My brain can’t even process it.
“Tell me if I go too far,” Holden says, holding my eye with his. I nod, thinking it’s probably not possible. How much water can you give a woman dying of thirst?
His hands start to roam, first down my sides, grazing the underside of my breasts. I inhale sharply, feeling the pebbling of my nipples poking through the thin fabric of my shirt. Holden’s thumbs find them, rubbing over the excited peaks. A jolt of desire rushes down my belly, pooling between my legs. I clench my thighs and allow a deep sigh. My fingers seek an anchor, and they thread with Adrian’s.
Using his mouth and hands, Holden licks and sucks and explores my body, starting with my neck, and heading downward. He pushes up my tank as he goes. He and Adrian work together to pull it over my head. I can’t stop watching him when he sees my breasts, eyes wide and in awe. He cups one gently in his hand and licks the nipple while rolling the other between his fingers.
I may combust. I’m sure I will.
I’ve enjoyed both these men. Felt their bodies, tasted their skin. But this? It rocks me to my core, chipping away at the final barriers I’d set up. It’s hard to maintain artificial boundaries when a man’s mouth is latched to your breast and another one has to hold you up.
I press back into Adrian, his cock hard between us. His mouth is close to my ear and I hear him whisper, “It’s okay to let go, Sierra. It’s okay to feel good.” His teeth tug on my earlobe, sending shivers down my spine. “Let Holden know what you want.”
I part my legs, knees wobbling, stomach fluttering.
Adrian holds me up while Holden notices the shift and travels downward, kissing between my breasts and across my belly, kissing the soft flesh of my navel. He thumbs at the button, unfastening it with deftness. I’m already so close to the edge that I know it won’t take much, that I can’t take much.
“Just touch me,” I say.
He looks up at me. “Anything you want.”
But he doesn’t just touch me. He taunts me. Moving at an excruciatingly slow pace. He tugs down my shorts, easing them over my hips, then kissing the flesh above my panties. My shorts fall to my feet and he kisses my thighs, my knees, my ankles, before lifting them off my feet.
I burn.
As if it wasn’t all enough, Adrian’s hands cup my breasts, once again applying delicious pressure to an area of my body I didn’t realize is so sensitive. Holden takes his time, kissing his way back up, stopping only to barely, gently kiss the swell of my cotton-covered mound before rising back up.
I almost cry out in distress, but he cuts me off with a kiss. It’s strong and forceful, and his fingers run between my legs. I sigh against his mouth, panting, as he strokes me over and over. It’s on one of these passes that he eases under the fabric, our skin finally coming in contact. Wet. Sticky. Slick.
“So close,” Adrian says, feeling the trembles wrack through my body. “So fucking close.”
He’s right, all the angst, the fear, the sorrow and frustration wells up inside of me, bound in a bundle of exposed nerves. Adrian pinches my nipples while Holden sucks my tongue. His fingers swirl in the wet heat between my legs, building me up, up, up.
“It’s so much, so much,” I choke, the words caught in my throat. I break like water, a stone dropped in a crystal-clear lake, waves rippling away from me in magnificent shudders. My brain fogs over, my body scalding. I feel, I feel, I feel so much of everything, so much of nothing. A lightness, a freeing. I fall against the man behind me while still riding the hand of the man in front of me, his fingers slowed but still stroking.
As my body recovers, I float back down, exhaustion and relief settling in my bones.
Once again, I’m covered in small, sweet kisses as both men help me back in my clothes. I should feel embarrassed, or exposed. I just feel safe.
Adrian tugs my shirt over my head and Holden buttons my shorts, then cups my face in his hands. “That’s how this works, Sierra. Your terms. Your body. You’re in control.”
I nod, feeling shaky. Not just from the orgasm but from the idea that a moment like that even exists. From the truth that I could have it over and over again. It’s exhilarating. Thrilling. Terrifying.
Because our time in this house is limited, and I don’t know how we exist beyond these walls, or if it’s even possible.
30
Sierra
“A package came in the mail,” Adrian says, walking through though the front door and over to where I’m caulking a window. He plants a kiss on my neck, sending shivers down my spine.
I glance at the thick envelope. “That’s probably from Monica—the realtor. She said she was sending over the paperwork.”
“You think the house is ready?”
I look around at all our hard work over the past few weeks. We’ve sanded, primed, and painted. The wood floors are shiny, the carpets clean. All the boxes and items for storage or charity are in the garage or shipped off. Dexter still needs to come get his things, but beyond that, the house is in good shape.
Although we should all be pleased--proud, really--of the hard work we accomplished this summer, the moment is bittersweet. I still haven’t decided where I’m going from here. Back to Lee Vines? Somewhere else? I’ve been so busy with the house and falling for the three handsome Rangers that overtook my life, that I haven’t made a decision.
I keep wanting to talk to them about it, but I keep putting if off. Even if I didn’t sell the house, even if I asked them to stay…this thing we have going on? There’s no way it can last forever.
“Yeah, I think I’ll call Dexter to let him know I have the papers and make sure all of that is squared away.”
“I’ve been thinking,” he says, leaning against the doorframe that leads to the kitchen, “what if—”
Heavy boots on the front steps interrupt him, and we both look at the door. Holden and Smith both appear, sweaty and dusty from work.
“Hey,” Holden says, eyeing the two of us. Smith hangs his hat on the hook by the door, before walking over and kissing me on the cheek. “Brent caught us on the way out of the park.”
“Oh yeah?” Adrian’s eyebrow raises.
“He says our housing will be ready to move into this weekend. The building passed inspection today."
“This weekend? Wow, okay, last I heard there were plumbing hold-ups.”
Smith shrugs. “I guess they resolved them.”
No one looks very happy about this good news. An ache has developed in my stomach.
I gesture to the paperwork and swallow past the lump in my throat. “This is from Monica. Looks like everything is falling
into place.”
Carrying the caulk gun, I walk past them, heading to the laundry room work sink. I turn it on and start scrubbing my hands, working to get the dried caulk off. I hear a tap and look over my shoulder. Holden stands in the doorway.
“You okay?” he asks, voice concerned.
“I’m fine.”
I lather my hands with soap, burning them under the hot water. I’m fighting panicked tears when I feel Holden behind me and his arms wrap around my waist.
“We’ll figure this out, okay?”
I nod, not believing him, no matter how much I want to. It’s hard not to take a little comfort when feel the tickle of his beard on my neck.
“Come on,” he says, handing me a towel. My hands are red. “Smith promised to make dinner tonight, and you promised we could play the Supernatural drinking game.”
I laugh. It’s something I could never do with the guys and also the only way I could get Smith to watch the show. “I did, didn’t I.”
“Yep. Adrian’s making some kind of theme punch.”
He links his fingers with mine, and I follow him out of the room, ready to spend the night with my guys. I may not have many left.
“Everyone have their card?” I ask, holding up mine. I’d bought them at a conference. Supernatural Bingo. I’ve been dying to play. “Each square has a scene, like, 'the boys have a heartfelt bro talk', and you cross it off. If you don’t have it, you have to drink.”
“How about we make this more interesting,” Adrian proposes. Smith made spaghetti with the most divine sauce for dinner, and now we’re sitting in the living room, the three boys on the couch. I’m standing in front of the paused TV, drink in hand.
“I’m listening.”
“We do what you said, losers have to drink, but the person who has the square…they get a kiss.”
I look at the guys. That’s a lot of kisses. I’m definitely game.
“Deal,” I say, grabbing the remote and taking my seat in the arm chair.
I start the episode and within two seconds, Holden announces, “Someone dies in the opening scene. I’ve got it!”
I press pause, and the rest of us scan our cards. I don’t have that one. Me, Adrian, and Smith take a drink. Holden stands up, saunters over, and pulls me out of the chair. His arms wrap around my waist and he bends over, mouth close to mine. He doesn’t rush, even though we’re playing this game, and I lick my lips in anticipation. When he finally kisses me, it’s gentle, with the tiniest bit of tongue. Warmth spreads through my body. We part, and I look over at the other guys. Smith swallows thickly, and Adrian has a mischievous smirk.
I sit back down and press play, my lips still tingling, thinking Crowley must be around the corner, because agreeing to play this game? It’s like making a deal with the devil.
31
Sierra
“Babe?”
I scrub the pot, round and round, with the sponge.
“Babe…Sierra.”
I look up and see Adrian leaning against the counter. How long had he been there?
“Yeah?”
“I think the pot is clean.” He shuts off the water, then takes the pot and sponge from me. I dry my hands on a towel. “What’s going on?”
“I guess I’m just nervous about Dexter coming to the house today.” I don’t mention how I’m sad that they’re moving out tomorrow. Their stuff is packed, and the house already has an empty feeling. I’m dreading staying here alone. “What if he doesn’t like the changes?”
“He could have come down here at any point and helped out.”
I frown. “I guess.”
“Anything else?”
Don’t go? Stay with me? Let’s run away together? There’s a sense of dread combined with the nervousness. Things the last week or so have been good. No, they’ve been amazing. Any issues that I thought may come up, jealousy, awkwardness…it hasn’t happened. We laugh, eat, sleep, and play happily. We screw with abandon. I had no idea it could be like this, but even in the glow, I have a very distinct feeling that once the guys move out, and I sell the house, we can’t keep this going. I’m not ready for it to end.
The reflection of a car coming down the road draws our attention to the window. I take a deep, settling breath. Adrian pulls me into a hug and whispers in my ear, “I think he’s going to be impressed.” He gives me a kiss of encouragement. “I’m going to take off. I know you want some privacy to do this alone.”
I nod, squeezing his hand as he heads for the back door. Smith and Holden are at work already. Adrian stuck around to help me tidy up, but he’s right; Dexter and I need to talk about this alone.
Adrian grabs his backpack and heads out the front door. I walk over to the front window and stop short when I realize all the guys are here. Dex gets out of the front seat and Jake from the passenger. Charlie and George climb out of the back. I didn’t expect them to all come.
I watch as my brother and one of my lovers meet in the driveway, shaking hands and making small talk. I try to imagine what they’re saying as they both glance up at the house, but I can’t tell. This is going to either go great or badly. I have no idea which.
Adrian leaves, getting in his truck, and I step outside, waiting for the boys on the porch. Dexter comes first, assessing the house as much as me.
“Hey, baby brother,” I say, stomach twisting.
“Hey, sis.” He smiles. “You look good.”
We hug, and as much as I believe in the saying tattooed on our arms, there’s also something about real family. It’s different. Especially when you’ve been through as much as me and Dex.
The other guys climb the stairs, Jake gives me a tight, wary smile. George pulls me into a hug. Charlie stops before me, pushing his glasses up his nose.
“Hey,” I say, heart threatening to break. They’re not boys anymore, but men. They’d done that without me. “Congratulations on the scholarship. I’m so proud of you. All of you.” I glance at Jake, his eyes shifting to the ground.
“You guys want to see the house?” I ask, hoping to cut the tension.
“Woah,” George says, taking in the changes in the room. “You changed things around.”
“I like the paint,” Charlie says.
Dex looks runs his hand down the mantle. “Did you get the HVAC fixed?”
“Yep. Took the last little bit of the insurance money, but I think it was a good investment.”
“It looks way better than when we were stuck here in the snow storm.”
I grimace. That snow storm had been what started a lot of our problems. The boys and Starlee went missing during a sudden storm. They’d thought fast and taken shelter in the house. Unfortunately, a vengeful girlfriend had gotten police got involved. From the tight set of Jake’s jaw, he remembers all this, too.
“You rearranged,” Dex says, noting the new furniture placement. “Did you do all this yourself?”
“I tried,” I admit, thinking about how the bookcase almost crushed me. Thank god for Smith. “I had help.”
“Adrian?” I nod. “He seems cool. He said you were awesome and let him stay after the fire.””
He wanders down the hall to check out the back of the house. I follow, overwhelmed by the urge to be truthful with my brother. He pauses in front of the bedrooms. I hadn’t gotten a chance to clean them up. It’s obvious that one of the guys is staying in my old room. Male clothing is folded neatly on a chair. My bra is by the pillow.
I take a steadying breath. “Adrian’s not the only one staying here. Smith and Holden, the other Rangers, are staying here, too.”
“You’re dating?”
“Yes, but not just him. All of them.”
The boys, crammed in the narrow hallway, process this information.
Dex runs his hand through his hair, his jaw clenches. “All of them. What the hell, Sierra?”
“Don’t tell me you don’t understand.”
“I understand that guys are perverts, even when they seem okay. What do you even
know about them?”
“I know that they’re good guys. I know they had tough backgrounds, kind of like you. I know that we didn’t just jump into this; that it took work and understanding and compromise.” I’m rambling, justifying myself. “I’m a big girl, I can handle it.”
But even as I say it, I’m not sure it’s true. Sure, I can handle them here, playing house together, but once we get outside, what’s going to happen?
Dexter shakes his head and heads down the hall. “I need some air.”
I start after him but a strong hand grips my shoulder.
“Let him go,” George says. “He’s your brother. It’s hard enough thinking about you with one guy, much less three.”
“You’re seriously seeing all of them?” Jake asks, breaking his silence.
“Yes.”
“Even after you tried to push Starlee away from us?”
“That was different. The situation was tense. My foster care license—”
“It’s bullshit and you know it.”
“Dude,” George says in warning. “Sierra warned us what would happen. She was protecting us. It all worked out.”
“Barely. The shit that went down with you and your dad.” Looks at Charlie. “That got bad, and Sierra promised to stick by us. She bailed. And now, she comes back with three guys she’s screwing, wanting us to pretend like everything is normal? It’s not normal.”
“Are you sure they’re not taking advantage of you,” Charlie cuts in. “I know we’re in a similar relationship with Starlee, but it’s unconventional.”
I take a deep breath. “Jake, I’m sorry I hurt you. All of you. Walking away that day…I just couldn’t handle it anymore. For my sake and yours, I needed a break. I wasn’t a mom. I was barely older than you. I just lost it.” I look at Charlie. “Thank you for your concern. I felt the same way about you guys and Starlee. I was worried someone would get hurt, but I get it now. Sometimes attraction is bigger than two people. They’re respectful and kind and,” I gaze around the house, “they helped me pull this off.”