by Naomi Martin
I try to focus on the energy coursing through me, easing my pain. I’ve never used my power to heal myself before. I didn’t even know I could. As the pain ebbs, I try to teach myself how to consciously do this since it’s a really beneficial thing to know.
Once the pain fades away completely, I get to my feet and take a seat in my chair again. I take a deep breath, then channel a little bit of power and continue testing myself, testing how far I can push it before I zap myself—and then work on teaching myself how to use my power to heal.
It’s a hit-and-miss process that’s often brutally painful. But by the time I collapse into bed later on, wrung out and exhausted, I can’t help but smile. Painful though it might have been, it was a very productive evening. I now know I can channel bits of my power. Not a lot, I certainly can’t use my power to my full abilities—the collar does still prevent that. But I can still use it.
As I drift off to sleep, I start to think about how much more I need to learn. How much more testing I need to do. I have to continue probing the boundaries of what I can do, teaching myself how to circumvent the collar to use my power—at least, until I can find a way to destroy the collar once and for all.
This is how I’m going to save my boys. This is how we’re going to get out of here.
Chapter Nineteen
Gray
When I wake up, Raven is sitting on the chair beside my bed. I give her a smile but when I turn to move, I’m gripped by a pain worse than when I shift. Every bone and muscle in my body screams out in agony and I groan. Raven puts her hand gently on my chest.
“Don’t move,” she says quietly. “Just try to relax.”
“I’ll be fine,” I grunt.
“You can barely smile without it hurting,” she points out. “Just lay back, tough guy.”
I chuckle, and even that makes me grimace. But I do as she says and lay back on the bed, trying to will away the pain. I hate the thought of her seeing me like this, weakened and in pain. And most of all, I hate seeing that look of pity on her face. The last thing I want is for her to feel sorry for me.
“How long have you been sitting here, staring at me like a stalker?” I ask.
She shrugs. “A little while. I saw them bring you in this morning.”
“Yeah, another wild Saturday night with Captain Sherman.”
“Why didn’t you tell me about the fighting pits?” she asks.
“Didn’t seem important,” I reply. “Plus, it never came up.”
A frown pulls the corners of her mouth down and I can see the anger in her face. Her small, delicate hands are balled into fists and she looks like she could seriously rip somebody’s head off their shoulders.
“I hate that man,” she growls. “I’m going to kill Sherman if it’s the last thing I do.”
I flash her a grin. “You have quite the list working,” I tell her. “Sherman, Villa...”
“Don’t forget Fry and Keene,” she adds.
“And the list gets longer.”
“All of them deserve it.”
“I don’t deny that,” I say. “I just worry about what killing them all will do to you. To your soul.”
“You assume I have a soul.” She grins.
I catch her gaze and hold it, allowing myself to sink deep into those icy blue depths for a long moment, then give her a smile.
“Raven, you have the most beautiful soul I’ve ever seen,” I tell her, and I mean it.
She blushes and looks away, but she can’t hide the smile on her face. Her sudden shyness is adorable. But when she turns back and looks at me, her expression is sober. Raven purses her lips for a moment before she asks the question I can see in her eyes.
“How bad was it?” she asks.
I give her a small shrug and immediately grimace with the pain of the effort. “No worse than it usually is.”
“How many times were you made to fight?”
I give it thought for a moment and realize that I don’t actually know. “Four? Five?” I guess. “It all kind of blurs into one giant beating after the first couple of times you’re in the cage.”
“They put you in a cage?”
“Of course,” I tell her. “Everything is tightly warded. We get some of our strength back, but not enough to shift. Just enough to make the matches bloody and interesting.”
Raven reaches out and takes my hand, giving it a gentle squeeze, a look of absolute rage in her eyes. Her concern for me is touching and makes my heart swell with emotion.
“These fucking monsters,” she grumbles. “They need to pay for this. They will pay for this.”
I’ve never had anybody care for me the way I can see she does and honestly, it’s overwhelming. I feel myself choking up a bit. Clearing my throat, I cut my eyes away, not wanting her to see just how emotional she makes me.
At the same time, it scares me. Raven has a temper, and she’s often rash and acts before she thinks. Especially when her blood is up. When she’s pissed off, she lets her anger get out of hand. She’s always got a snarky answer and something to say. Which is amusing, but it can also lead to big problems. And without her powers, assholes like Clint or Sherman will always try to beat her into submission.
They’ve both tried to take advantage of her, but it’s not about the sex. Because they’re both perceived to be strong, powerful men, they’ll always find girls willing to spread their legs for them. Whether it’s because some of these women need to be protected or they think that being close to somebody thought to have power will somehow improve their life, some of the girls who pass through this prison will fall all over themselves to be used by them. It’s sad, honestly.
But for them, for Sherman and Clint, it’s not about the sex. It’s about the sense of power they get from dominating somebody. They get off on the fact that some girls are willing to debase themselves for them. Their feeling of superiority comes from being able to take what they want from anybody. Whether it’s food from some kid at lunchtime or making a girl do whatever they want sexually, the fact that they can do what they want, when they want, is what gets them off.
But Raven isn’t like the girls who grovel at their feet. She’s tough. Strong. And she takes no shit from anybody. She calls them out and stands up to them. Neither Clint nor Sherman likes that, and so they’ll do everything in their power to break her. They want to take what she’s not willing to give in an effort to make her submit to them. To prove their dominance.
No, it’s not the sex. It’s all about the power for them.
“You need to be careful, Raven,” I tell her. “Guys like Sherman and Villa—and even Clint—can make your life a living hell. And the last thing I want is to see you get hurt.”
“I’m not going to get hurt,” she tells me.
“No offense, but you’re not the biggest girl around,” I remind her. “They’ve all got at least a hundred pounds on you. Or close to it.”
“Fighting isn’t about size.”
“No, but it helps,” I laugh. “And without your powers—”
She cuts me off. “Who says I don’t have my powers?”
I look at her and see a mischievous glint in her eye and a playful smile on her lips. She looks like the cat that ate the canary, like she knows something I don’t. I assume it has to do with the flash of power she showed out in the yard. But since they beefed up her collar, she hasn’t been able to summon that power again.
“Raven, you can’t—”
“Do you trust me?” she interrupts again.
I cock my head. “What? Of course, I trust you,” I say. “Why would you even need to ask me that?”
That mischievous smile grows wider. “Then hold still.”
She reaches out and lays both hands over me, palms down and hovering a few inches above me. An expression of pleasure crosses her face, and she smiles. A moment later, I feel a tingle that starts in my belly. My skin grows warm and the heat starts to spread through me, that tingling beginning to intensify.
And a
s the tingling grows stronger, it makes me shudder, and I feel my entire body is vibrating. Raven moves her hands, sliding them up and down over me, and the warm tingles that race across my skin continue to grow and spread through me.
“What are you doing?” I ask. “You’re going to—”
“Shush.” She grins. “Just lay there and be quiet.”
“So forceful,” I chuckle.
She continues running her hands over my body and I’m overpowered by the sensual energy that’s gripping me tightly—all without her ever touching me. And amazingly, the pain that had gripped me so tightly, that feeling like my insides were being boiled in acid, begins to fade. I lay there watching Raven in stunned disbelief as her power fills me, its warmth driving out the pain. It feels like my body is knitting itself back together, the cuts healing, my bruises fading. The sensation is extraordinary and makes me almost… giddy.
What’s most extraordinary, though, is that all of my pains, all of my hurts… they’re just gone. Gone, as if they’d never been. Gone, as if I hadn’t just spent the entire night being punched and kicked, slashed and cut—being pounded into ground meat for the amusement of rich men.
Finally, she lowers her hands and looks at me. I sit up on the bed and stare at her with wide eyes and a stupefied smile on my face. Then I gaze at my own hands, looking down at myself in absolute wonder.
“How do you feel?” she asks.
“Amazing,” I reply honestly. “I-I can’t remember the last time I felt this good.”
Raven gives me a satisfied smile and leans back in her seat. I look down at myself again, still not believing how good I feel, then turn my eyes to her.
“How did you do that?” I ask. “I thought the new collar—”
She shrugs. “I’m not sure either. All I know is that I can channel some of my power,” she replies. “It’s not a lot—I mean, it’s not like I can blow this place up. Yet. But I can do some things. And, best of all, I can control it.”
“That’s amazing,” I say.
She nods. “I’m practicing with it,” she confides. “Testing my limits and seeing what I can do and how much I can channel before I get zapped. This could be our way out, Gray.”
“Be careful, Raven.”
She flashes me a grin. “I’m always careful.”
I snort. “Yeah. Okay.”
We fall into silence for a few long moments, staring into each other’s eyes. And, once again, I feel that bond between us—like a bright, white line that runs from her heart to mine, connecting us with an intensity that’s overwhelming.
“Thank you for sitting with me,” I finally say. “And for healing me.”
“Of course,” she replies. “Now, come out and get some food. You must be starved.”
My stomach rumbles, as if reacting to her suggestion. After a night spent fighting and a morning spent recovering from that fight, my body has burned through a lot of calories. I am starved. I give her a nod.
“I want to clean up,” I tell her. “I’ll meet you down there.”
Raven gets to her feet and hesitates for a moment, then leans down and gives me a quick peck on the cheek before she turns and flounces out of my cell. I watch her go, a small smile touching my lips as I think about how much and how deeply I feel for Raven. The emotions she’s stirred up inside of me, I thought I had buried well. But she’s dug them up with ease and has made me feel something profound for her.
And I know she cares for me, too. I can see it in her eyes every time she looks at me. But I’m not a fool, and I know she has similar feelings for Zane and Elliot and they, in turn, care for her. I’m not quite so sure how I feel about that. I know plenty of shifters who don’t mind sharing. In some packs, it’s the way things are done. But I’m not a guy who typically likes to share. Not when it comes to women, anyway.
This little unit we’ve formed is strange, to say the least. But, so long as I get to spend time with Raven, I’m okay with it. At least for now. And the good thing is, I don’t have to decide anything at the moment, anyway. For now, I’ll just enjoy being around her as much as I can and let the future sort itself out, the way it always does.
With that thought in mind, I get myself ready to go down and have some lunch with her.
Chapter Twenty
Elliot
“Try again,” she urges.
I take a deep breath and let it out slowly, then cup my hands together and focus on the energy welling deep within me. A surge of nerves flutters through me as I anticipate getting zapped—again.
“Don’t think about it, Elliot,” she says. “Thinking about it will only make it happen, because you’ll make a mistake.”
“Kinda hard not to think about it when it hurts so damn much,” I chuckle.
“Try. Focus on drawing in a little bit at a time. Just a few threads,” she says, her voice dead serious. “And pay attention to the heat in your collar. If you pay close attention, you’ll know when it’s getting ready to zap you and you can back it down before that happens.”
I take another breath and patiently exhale, doing my best to focus like she said. I want to be able to channel power like her, but I don’t think I can. There’s something different about Raven. Something that allows her to do things I, and others like us, can’t do. I don’t know what it is, but she can do things she shouldn’t be able to do with that collar around her neck.
I draw in the threads of my power, concentrating on not taking in too much at a time, like she said. But it’s difficult. Ever since I slept with Raven, I’ve felt my power growing. Surging. Even with the collar around my neck, I feel it churning inside of me—and it’s harder to control. I don’t understand it. It’s as if she’s the key that unlocked a box inside of me that stored more of my power.
Beads of sweat trickle down my forehead as I focus on pulling in small threads of power. I try to be careful and not let too much of it out at once, otherwise—
The pop is loud, and I cry out as I’m blown backward onto the bed, my body racked with a blindingly intense pain. I arch my back, writhing and convulsing as it shoots through my body. Raven reaches out and grabs hold of my wrist, squeezing it tightly. She closes her eyes and I feel her hand growing warm. A moment later, the pain that racked me fades and I’m able to sit up again.
“I don’t know how you do it,” I say. “You make it look so effortless.”
She shakes her head. “I don’t know either, to be honest,” she admits. “It just seems to come naturally.”
“You’re lucky.”
She frowns and looks down. “Doesn’t always feel that way.”
“I know.”
She sits down beside me and rests her head on my shoulder, and I wrap my arm around her before planting an affectionate kiss on the crown of her head. I smile, reveling in the warmth and softness of her body against mine. There are so few moments in this prison that bring me genuine comfort and joy that I want this one to last forever. As if reading my mind, Raven looks up and presses her lips to mine, our kiss soft and yet intense. The emotions pouring out of us are palpable and make my heart swell.
She pulls back and gives me a gentle smile. I trail the tips of my fingers down her cheek, letting them settle on her collar. I examine the etchings closely. I’ve never really looked at them before. I trace the symbols with my fingers, my mind working as I try to understand the patterns carved into the metal.
“What is it?” she asks, her voice almost dreamy.
“I don’t know,” I admit. “Just looking at the collar. Trying to understand it.”
“I don’t get them, either,” she says. “I wish I knew how they worked and how to break them.”
“You’re a lot closer to it than anybody who’s ever passed through this place,” I tell her. “Nobody I’ve ever known has even been able to channel power like you. They all end up getting zapped, like me.”
“So, what’s the difference?” she asks. “Why can I do it and not you?”
I raise my eyebrows
. “You’re obviously stronger.”
“I don’t know if it’s that simple.”
“Then what do you think it could be?”
She considers the question for a long moment, then shakes her head. “I wish I knew. I just don’t understand any of this,” she says. “I don’t understand my powers. I didn’t have enough time to learn about them before they came for me.”
“That makes two of us.”
We lapse into silence for several long moments, simply enjoying being together. The common area outside is noisy; people are laughing and screaming, banging chairs and talking loudly. It’s chaos out there. Which makes me glad I’m in here with Raven. In here, I feel like we’re in a bubble of our own. In here, I can pretend it’s just the two of us. That everything happening out there doesn’t exist and we can just shut it all out. Just enjoy each other.
But I know that I have to share her affection. I know I’m not the only one taking up space in her mind and heart—and I’m not sure what to think about that. I mean, I’m thankful that at least I occupy some small corner of that space. She makes me feel things nobody ever has before. And I feel them strongly.
The simple fact is, I don’t know how I feel about sharing. I know she cares deeply for both Zane and Gray. And although I like the both of them, I don’t know that I like them enough to share Raven with them. The very idea of it just feels… weird.
“What are you thinking?” she asks.
A wry smile twists my lips. “Nothing.”
“No, seriously, what is it?”
I shrug. “I was just thinking about what a strange little group we are,” I say. “You, me, Zane, and Gray.”
She grins mischievously. “You sound jealous.”
“Maybe I am.”
She sits up and, though she favors me with a smile, her expression is sober. Raven takes my hands and gives them a squeeze.