Describing why she reached for the iPad, Jennifer said, “Because it’s an option, I feel compelled to exercise that option.… The choice is there so I feel compelled to act on it.”49 Most of us can empathize. That said, if a loving, responsible mom unconsciously chooses her mobile devices at the risk of her daughter’s life, what can we realistically expect from our children and teens? Our kids need our help.
Changing the Way Our Kids Do Homework
Tech industry spin has convinced many parents to place no limits on their kids’ smartphone use, with a resulting dramatic transformation in how our kids do homework. While most parents wouldn’t consider allowing their children to study with the TV on, today’s parents generally think nothing of allowing their kids to study with a constantly buzzing, pinging, flashing smartphone that distracts and detracts from homework much like the TV.
I suggest that you set the same limits on smartphones as you do the TV during study time. That means prescribing the hours when kids can use smartphones, if you permit them at all, especially during weekdays after school. If you don’t limit TV during homework, start to do that, too. For example, you could allow your teen to use the phone from 9 to 10 p.m. on weekdays. This seems to work better than saying kids can’t use their phone until homework is done, to circumvent the incentive for kids to rush through their studies.
Of course kids will complain that they need their phones to communicate with peers about homework. This argument belies the truth of how our kids really use their phones. There’s also no doubt that many kids will protest denying them continual access to texting, gaming, social networking, and the like, yet such tech habits have emerged from a culture taken with industry-sponsored myths. What is very real is that American students need to catch up with the rest of the world academically. To do so, we need to make tough choices.
How Parents Can Set Limits on Mobile
Let me be clear. The best way to set limits on kids’ use of mobile devices is to not provide them with a smartphone or other mobile device in the first place. If a child has a mobile device, make every effort to limit its use. Setting such limits starts with you being a good role model. Are you using your own device to play indiscriminately or do you use it primarily for work or necessary tasks?
I also suggest following the advice of Rosalind Wiseman in Queen Bees and Wannabes: “There needs to be a family rule that, when people walk into your house, their cell phones go in a basket in the hallway or the kitchen. You get a pass if you are a doctor or therapist and you’re on call—but only when you’re on call. This also should go for any other child who is over at your house.”50 You also can place limits on kids’ phones by using parental control features (accessed through your cell phone provider) that limit how much and when they can be used.
How can kids stay in touch with their peers? I suggest you maintain a home landline for this purpose, and once kids reach middle-school-age, it’s also appropriate for them to converse with friends via email on a computer. Phone calls or emails that come in during dinner and other family moments, as well as during homework time, can be returned later. The alternative, of kids having continuous access to mobile, means that their attention to family and schoolwork are continually threatened by a compulsion to return a text, check social networks, or game.
Kids should never be allowed to sleep with phones or other mobile devices in their bedrooms, as many do. Preteen and teen drama and the desire to game can go late into the night, denying kids the sleep they need to perform well at school.
How Schools Should Address Kids’ Smartphones
Because kids’ smartphone use is centered around entertainment technologies shown to hurt academic success, I believe it detracts from teachers’ ability to do their job. I therefore suggest that schools place strong limits on kids’ use of smartphones, and that parents ask for them. For example, rules that kids should keep their phones at home or in their lockers better support learning than allowing them at passing periods, lunch, etc.
BUILD UNITASKING, NOT MULTITASKING, SKILLS
Mobile devices have fueled an increase in kids’ efforts to multitask between entertainment technologies and schoolwork. Fifteen-year-old Sherry’s study habits are typical of the kids with whom I work. “I do my homework better if I’m texting and have the TV on,” she insists. The latest Kaiser Family Foundation study found more than half of kids aged 8 to 18 multitask during homework either most or some of the time.51 Because multitasking is typically applauded by popular sources, you may believe you have little reason to be concerned about your child’s ability to split focus.
The Multitasking Mirage
The belief that kids (or adults) can competently multitask is another invention of our present-day culture. As developmental molecular biologist John Medina says in his book Brain Rules, “The brain cannot multitask. Multitasking, when it comes to paying attention, is a myth. The brain naturally focuses on concepts sequentially, one at a time.”52 To put this in practical terms: Although the brain can complete two simple tasks simultaneously (e.g., walking and chewing gum), it simply cannot attend to two attention-demanding tasks (e.g., texting a friend and completing chemistry homework) at the same time. Attempting to multitask results in toggling attention back and forth between various tasks, increasing the time to complete them and the chance of errors.
Many kids (and adults) claim they can effectively multitask. Can they be right? Not likely. Stanford University researchers found frequent multitaskers are actually more distractible and more likely to be sidetracked by irrelevant information than those who multitask less or not at all.53 To explain this, the Stanford scientists suggest that the brains of heavy multitaskers may become primed to attend to distractions, and end up being more disrupted by them. As study co-author Clifford Nass said of those who claim to multitask well, “They’re suckers for irrelevancy.… Everything distracts them.”54
Evidence of the costs of multitasking is emerging. A recent study observed the learning habits of middle-school, high-school, and college kids, and found that those who checked Facebook at least once every 15 minutes had lower grade point averages than kids who were less frequent Facebook users.55
Teaching Kids to Unitask
The good news is that unitasking is a skill that we can help our children (or ourselves) develop. Because the brain works much like a muscle, by setting up the environment to encourage unitasking, this skill can build over time. Consider the following strategies to help your child develop focus skills.
Clear your child’s study environment of phone and screen distractions. Earlier in the chapter, I suggested ways to limit the distractions of mobile devices. It’s also important to keep TVs off during homework time; even having a TV on in the next room can rob kids of the focus they need to do their best in school. If siblings have completed homework, encourage them to read or go outside rather than turn on a TV that will distract their brother or sister.
Keep computers off unless kids need to use them for an assignment. For kids who are especially prone to digital distraction, consider using the computer’s parental control features or purchasing parental control software so they can only access the functions they need. If you don’t feel you have the technical know-how, turn to a relative or family friend who can help.
Designate a family study time. One family I worked with had two teen boys who were failing their classes because of incessant multitasking. Nothing the parents tried made things better until they implemented a family study time. Working alongside your child in a common area can make for pleasing, relaxed family time—and it also limits kids’ tendency to shift away from studying. Balance your checkbook, read, or catch up on some work while your kids get their homework done.
Build in study breaks. Study breaks help keep the mind focused and limit potential technology distractions. Because unitasking is a learned skill, children may need more frequent study breaks as they develop this ability. Go for non-technology breaks, since kids who turn to gaming, t
exting, or TV find it difficult to return to homework. Running around the yard, jumping rope, playing with the dog, listening to music, or engaging in conversation are break options to reinvigorate kids’ minds and help them do their best work when they get back to their studies.
FINDING DOWNTIME IN A 24/7 CULTURE
Limiting kids’ engagement with screens and phones provides them the downtime vital for memory formation and other thinking tasks. When kids give their minds a break, by resting on the couch or running around outside, the hippocampus (a brain structure vital to creating memories) can communicate with the cortex (the brain’s outer layer where memories are stored) to create long-term memories. “Your brain is working for you when you’re resting, so rest is important for memory and cognitive function,” New York University cognitive neuroscientist Lila Davachi explains. “This is something we don’t appreciate much, especially when today’s information technologies keep us working round-the-clock.”56
A study in Pediatrics reveals how kids’ use of one entertainment technology may threaten the downtime our kids need to remember what they’ve studied. Mirroring typical academic demands, researchers gave 12-to 14-year-old boys vocabulary words to study in the late afternoon. They divided the boys into three groups that engaged in different activities later that evening. In one group, the kids didn’t use any screens at all, a second group watched an exciting movie, and the third group played an action-oriented video game. Remarkably, when the kids were tested on the vocabulary words the following day, those who video gamed showed significantly lower performance than the other two groups.57
Why would video gaming interfere with the creation of memory? The answer may be related to the very high level of dopamine gaming triggers. Throughout human history, dopamine has served an evolutionary function. Emotion-filled events vital for people to remember, such as a chance encounter with a predator, prompt the brain’s release of dopamine, which gives the memory priority over the thousands of other mundane events that happen in a day. For today’s kids, the amount of dopamine produced by emotionally-engaging video games may lead kids’ brains to prioritize gaming memories over school experiences.
You can encourage downtime for your child by following the American Academy of Pediatrics’ recommendation to make kids’ bedrooms an electronic-media-free environment—including Internet-connected devices such as computers, smartphones, and tablets.58 You can make an exception for listening to music without video, since it isn’t associated with lower academic performance.
HOW CAN SCHOOLS AND COLLEGES CHALLENGE DIGITAL MYTHS?
We know the tech industry is quick to blame failing education systems when disappointing PISA scores or similar reports highlight American children’s learning struggles, and that they suggest the solution is even more access to ever newer e-gadgets. You’ve also seen how the same industry ignores the fact that our kids use these gadgets primarily to gain access to entertainment technologies that drag down academic performance.
For the most part, schools and teachers have not countered such claims, in spite of surveys showing that teachers believe kids’ overuse of digital technologies reduces their ability to learn,59 and despite the fact that many hold schools and teachers almost solely responsible for students’ learning deficits.
I suggest that schools, from elementary to high school, take leadership on the issue of children and technology. Parents and other members of the public need to understand that no matter how good teachers are, students can’t succeed in the face of continuous exposure to digital amusement.
When I speak at forums that bring groups of parents and teachers together, such as parent-teacher meetings and back-to-school nights, I recommend that schools encourage parents to limit kids’ entertainment technology in the interest of learning success. I also suggest that schools share pertinent research and talk directly with students to help them recognize that overusing entertainment technologies threatens the goals kids have for themselves, including getting good grades and attending college.
Colleges Should Also Challenge Digital Myths
With evidence that gaming, social networking, and texting diminish the academic achievement of young adults, I believe universities and colleges will benefit their students by helping them understand the risks posed by obsessive use of entertainment technologies. While this will help both genders, such discussions are especially important for young men because, as we will see in Chapter 5, boys and young men spend much more time with entertainment technologies, especially video gaming, than do girls and young women. Sadly, I have talked with many parents whose bright young men have been asked to leave university for failing grades caused by the overuse of video games.
Colleges should emphasize prevention. Build awareness by talking openly with incoming freshman at orientation and welcome week. Make systematic efforts to catch problems early. Encourage resident assistants and school counselors to watch for signs of tech obsession or addiction, and to be aware of resources that can treat the problem before it leads to student failure.
I also suggest colleges encourage their students not to multitask in the classroom to establish a better learning environment for all students. A study published in Computers in Human Behavior showed that college students who multitasked with Facebook or texting during class had lower grades than students who did not.60 Another study simulated a typical college classroom to find that multitasking not only hurt the performance of the multitasker, but also nearby students who became focused on what the multitasker was doing.61
4
Protect Children from Video Game/Internet Addiction
An episode of Katie Couric’s talk show, Katie, focused on video game addiction. Guests included Mark Petric, whose 16-year-old son Daniel murdered his mother and shot his father because they took away his Halo 3 video game.1 Daniel had become obsessed with Halo, playing the game for up to 18 hours a day, stopping only to eat, sleep, and use the bathroom. He became enraged when his father took the video game away because of its violent content.
The day of the murder, Daniel’s parents were relaxing on the couch. The teen walked up to them and said, “Would you guys close your eyes? I have a surprise for you.” Mark said he expected something pleasant. Instead, the teen shot his father in the head—he was severely injured yet survived because the bullet missed his brain—and then turned the gun on his mother, Susan. He shot her in her arms, chest, and back of the head.
A few minutes after the shootings, Daniel’s adult sister arrived with her husband to watch a baseball game. They found Daniel trying to clean up the horrific scene with a bucket and cloth. While the others attended to Susan and Mark, Daniel ran out of the house and drove away in the family van. Apprehended a short time later, the only item Daniel had taken from home was his Halo 3 video game.2
Trial judge James Burge sentenced Daniel to 23 years in prison for the murder of his mother and attempted murder of his father. Judge Burge said the evidence led him to conclude that video gaming played a significant role in the violence. In his closing statement, the judge expressed hope that the tragedy would inspire a greater understanding of video games and addiction, and that this would help “achieve a greater sense of justice.”3
UNDERSTANDING IT’S AN ADDICTION CHANGES THE GAME
In more than 20 years of working with families, I have encountered many, many kids addicted to technology, primarily video games. Typical of these cases is 15-year-old Cameron, whose mother, Gloria, brought him to treatment because she couldn’t understand what was happening to her son. She said he regularly gamed online past 2 a.m. on school nights barking orders to fellow gamers, and that his gaming obsession had led him to neglect his homework and fail classes.
In the week prior to bringing Cameron to therapy, Gloria had approached her son about her concerns, but he ignored her. When she insisted that he limit his gaming, this six-foot teen slammed his fist through a wall, then stood over her and got her to back down. That’s when she decided to seek help.
In our first meeting, in contrast to his mother’s distress, Cameron was calm, even distant. He told me that he saw nothing wrong with his gaming and insisted his life was going well. He said school was overrated, and he planned to work in video gaming. When I asked how he felt about his aggression towards his mother, Cameron was unapologetic. He blamed her, saying she had no right to limit his gaming.
YOU’RE NOT ALONE
Because addiction to video games or the Internet is rarely discussed in the popular media, many parents, like Gloria, don’t recognize what their children are experiencing when they show profound anger or other symptoms as the result of the addiction. If they do understand their child is struggling with a tech obsession, they tend to feel alone with their problems and that their child or teen is experiencing something unique. However, pediatricians and mental health providers across the country and around the world see increasing cases like Cameron’s. As a result, video game and Internet addiction has been extensively researched, and there are now hundreds of high-quality published studies that collectively support the addictive potential of certain technologies.
Video games (especially those played online) appear to have the greatest potential for addiction, followed by social networks.4 In turn, an increasing number of kids show unhealthy attachment to the devices that deliver this content, such as video game players, computers, phones, tablets, and handheld gaming devices.
Who’s at risk? Any child, teen, or adult. Some suggest that tech addiction is really just a sign of an underlying psychiatric problem, e.g., the reason a kid is stuck gaming in his room is because he’s depressed or anxious. And it’s true that tech-addicted kids often suffer from other psychiatric problems. However, a study of 3rd, 4th, 7th, and 8th graders published in the journal Pediatrics found that symptoms of obsessive gaming often came before signs of anxiety or depression.5 This evidence, along with other research, suggests that tech addiction is its own disorder and that other psychiatric problems are often the result of the addiction. This is what I see frequently in my practice: previously high-functioning kids who first become addicted to technology and then develop anger, defiance, and/or depression.
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