by J Marie
the table to rest my head in my hands. Knots tore away in my stomach while my
head throbbed with a knowing pain at my temples. I could see Hank from the
corner of my eye, watching me intently as I sat in silence and focused on my
breathing rather than the impending torture of Darren’s presence.
And then suddenly the footsteps stopped, and I felt a giant looming shadow
behind me. I shuddered when I felt his warm breath against my skin.
I sucked in air as Darren’s large warm hands came to rest on my bare shoulders.
Heat bloomed under my skin where he touched me, and even though I hated him
with every fiber of my being, I almost wanted more of it. I just wanted to feel good. I
wanted to feel loved and cherished … and when he touched me like that, it felt real.
Darren dipped low and placed a gentle kiss on my neck. I closed my eyes as his
lips on my skin forced my blood into an all-out marathon.
“Hello, princess,” he drawled smoothly into my ear. My body immediately
stiffened.
Fuck, that voice of his.
The knots in my stomach tightened from the mere sound of his voice. The deep
baritone that could terrify and entrance all at the same time, and it made me
shiver. His hands moved to gently pull my hair out of the ponytail and casually
drape it over my right shoulder, and I couldn’t help but flinch from his touch.
His breath tickled my neck, leaving behind a tingling sensation that I fought
with all my might to ignore. Despite what this man had done to me, he was still
able to leave me breathless with just the touch of his hand. I hated him for it, but I
still craved it. The tip of his nose traced up the side of my neck, quietly inhaling me
while his hands continued to burn into my shoulders.
“How I have missed you,” he breathed into my ear.
My body was on the verge of trembling, not only from anticipation but also from
fear. It may remember the pleasure, but it also remembered the pain. It knew he
was the reason for my wired jaw, my useless wrist, and the sharp ache of each
breath I took. But apparently, none of that could compare to how good he could
make me feel, and it had been some time since he’d made my body erupt in total
volcanic bliss.
Eventually, Darren stepped away from me, and my body shivered from his
sudden lack of body heat. He pulled his chair out, unbuttoned his light gray suit
jacket, and took his seat at the head of the table. He wore a white dress shirt
underneath with a silver tie, matching his gray slacks as per usual. It was rare to see
him out of a suit. Even on the island, he still conducted business via webcams or
meetings on the nearest land outside of the island. At least, that was what Ginsby
had been telling me.
I could feel Darren’s eyes on me, but I just stared straight ahead out the window
that gave me a perfect view of the white sandy beach outside.
Thankfully, the island staff brought out our dinner, interrupting the silence
before Darren could. A tall bowl containing beef broth and teeny-tiny vegetables
and noodles was placed in front of me with a large straw. It was still all I could
manage until my jaw was unwired. I was beyond sick of this liquid diet. I longed for
something solid in my stomach; so much so, that I wouldn’t put it past myself to
beg Darren for a fucking steak when I could finally open my mouth again. Darren
started on his plate while I sucked small amounts of soup from my straw.
“I spoke to Sid today about the progression of your recovery,” Darren said as he
bit into the fresh island fish he’d been served.
I merely glanced at him to acknowledge I heard him. I knew he didn’t like to be
ignored.
“He said you’re healing just fine, but he worries about your mentality.”
I looked back at Darren confused. My mentality? The fuck was that supposed to
mean?
“Hmm?” was all I could manage. I had been reduced to muffled sounds in order
to communicate now unless I wrote it down my tablet.
“You’ve been diagnosed with depression, Jaden. I’m concerned.”
I snorted. I couldn’t help it. It never ceased to amaze me that he would never
understand why I felt the way I felt. Of course, I was depressed—this wasn’t news
—but he would never guess why even if I spelled it out for him in capital fucking
letters.
“Do you find this funny, Jaden? Do you think your recovery is nothing but a joke
to me?” he replied sternly.
I raised my eyebrows in surprise, but then again, how could I be? He was the
frickin’ cause for my recovery in the first place. Darren apparently didn’t see the
irony and continued to glare at me until I backed down. I finally sat back in my seat
and took another sip from my straw. I didn’t have the energy to argue with him,
nor did I have the verbal capacity.
“Tomorrow, the wiring in your jaw is being removed. If Sid doesn’t see a change
in your attitude by the end of next week, I’m putting you on an antidepressant.”
My gaze immediately shot to him, my eyes lit up in shock. He would drug me
with fake happiness? Fucking seriously? I gave him my pleading puppy dog look
and shook my head. He glared back at me with a warning in his eyes to let me know
how serious he was. I had to do something to prevent this.
I quickly turned to my tablet and pulled out the stylus, writing intently with my
stupid left hand since my right was still in a cast, and flashed the pad to Darren so
he could read it.
‘Compromise?’ I wrote.
He barely even glanced at the tablet before the word no quickly left his mouth as
he took a sip of his red wine.
I looked at him incredulously before rolling my eyes and setting the tablet down.
Of course, it was a no. Darren slammed his fist down on the table in response,
causing me to flinch in my chair.
“Goddammit, Jaden, this is not a game anymore!” he bellowed at me. “There are
no more compromises. You will do what you’re told, and that’s final.”
I looked at him with so much pain in my eyes I could practically feel them
burning. No longer able to stand the sight of him, I shot out of my chair, ignoring
the intense pain that raged through my ribs as I turned to leave the room. Hank
immediately halted my attempt as he moved right in front of me, blocking my exit
to the hallway. He then gently, but firmly, gripped my upper arm and escorted me
back to my seat. Darren remained perfectly calm and seated as he nonchalantly
took another bite of his fish while Hank forced me to sit back down. I crossed my
arms and huffed an irritated breath through my nose as I stared straight ahead.
“Finish your dinner, Jaden,” Darren ordered without looking at me.
I didn’t move. Just stared out the window with hate in my eyes.
“I swear to God, little girl, you do not want to push me today,” he warned,
staring at me intently, that dangerous glare back in his eyes.
Fear gripped my heart again as I felt my body shudder from the look he was
giving me. Honestly, what more would he do to me? He couldn’t hurt me physically
since he was so "concerned" about my recovery. If he took away any more
privileges, I would definitely succumb
to my depression, which would further slow
my recovery. All this I had against him, yet I was too afraid of him to use any it. I no
longer felt the need to test him because he would always exceed my expectations.
Always.
Swallowing back my fear, I tried to keep my hand from trembling as I reached for
my bowl and took a small sip from my straw, hoping to placate him. He seemed
happy enough as he returned his attention to his dinner. We were silent for the rest
of the evening. I managed to finish almost all of my water and most of my soup and
took my evening medicine without complaint.
When we were finished, Darren gently took my hand and carefully pulled me
from my chair to him. His other hand rubbed my arm up and down, softly caressing
my skin as he looked me over. I kept my eyes down. I couldn’t bear to look at him
anymore.
Darren tugged me along to the parlor where a fire was flickering away in the
white marble fireplace. Still holding my hand, he laid down on the couch and
carefully pulled me down to lay on top of him.
Even with broken ribs, I had to admit for as solid as he was, Darren was quite
comfortable to lay on. My cheek pressed against his chest while he continued to
clutch my hand near his heart, his other hand gently soothing me by rubbing my
back and playing with my hair. I stared off into the fire, listening to Darren’s heavy
pounding heartbeat.
What I would give to hear it stop ...
Eventually, his hands began to travel into my hair, and I found myself lulled into
a trance of warmth and comfort. Darren might be a raging hurricane, but his softer
side almost made him tolerable. I craved this part of him; the part that made me
feel special and cherished … even though I didn’t want to be.
Darren’s lips brushed against my forehead as he kissed me sweetly, rubbing my
arm up and down until he finally exhaled a long heavy breath.
“You’re going to go for a walk on the beach tomorrow,” he suddenly said. I
tensed slightly, confused at his words. “I think the sunshine will do you some good.
You’re looking paler than usual,” he finished.
I nudged him slightly, letting him know I heard him. I didn’t have much interest
in venturing outside my room or the island itself. I’d rather sleep my pain away
than deal with it. But maybe he was right. Maybe some sunshine would do me some
good. My skin was looking pretty pasty, after all.
Eventually, I felt my eyelids grow heavy. I knew it was still early, but my meds
often made me drowsy, especially after I had eaten something. I closed my eyes and
released a heavy sigh as I allowed myself to slip into sweet unconsciousness.
2
SOOTHE
A bsolute calm. That was all I ever felt when I held Jaden like this. When she’d fall
asleep in my arms, and all I had to focus on, at that moment, was her—her
breathing—her heartbeat—her warmth. Absolute peace. I didn’t realize how much
I needed it in my dark life until I almost lost her. When she escaped from me, I
hadn’t known how deeply she had sunk her claws into my wretched heart; that was
until she ripped them out and left me to bleed with rage in her absence.
I knew I would get her back. The GPS on her collar saw to that, but I had learned
my lesson in underestimating her, and I had a feeling she had learned hers as well.
I doubted she would make the same mistake twice, but it didn’t matter much since
she would never be given an opportunity like that ever again.
Jaden would have round-the-clock supervision, and as soon as we returned
home, she would have four bodyguards to watch her when I wasn’t there—two for
the day and two for at night—twelve-hour shifts, no breaks. Until she had accepted
her life, that would be the case. I already had two perfect soldiers lined up for the
job. They were among my best men, and I felt I could trust them with Jaden’s safety
as well as her tricks. They were sharp enough to recognize her deceptions and
smart enough to remain professional at all times unless they wanted to be fed their
dicks for breakfast.
Things were slowly getting back to normal back home. The damage to my house
was repaired, and after some more serious damage control and blackmailing, the
news tape of Jaden speeding off on my bike was now a pile of ash. The guards who
had allowed her to escape had been dealt with, and new security measures were
being put into place at the estate to ensure what had ensued would never happen
again.
Jaden would not get away from me a second time. I was committed to her
conditioning now more than ever as I realized how strict I needed to be with her.
Her fragile state would make it easier. She wouldn’t fight me while she was still
broken if she wanted to recover sooner, but then again, neither would I. Jaden just
couldn’t know that. I was still worried about her recovery, and I didn’t want
anything to interfere with that, but she still needed to accept her place.
I knew Jaden was depressed even before Sid told me. I had anticipated it. Jaden
was beyond vulnerable with her broken body, and she hated it. She hated that I had
rendered her defenseless and useless, but she needed to understand that her
skillset was a privilege under my roof, and I could easily take it away if I wanted to.
I'd made her broken body her own prison, and I could see it was destroying her
inside. Vulnerability was terrifying, especially for someone like her, and I hoped the
fear of that alone would be enough to keep her in line. But still, her depression did
worry me. I'm not so cruel as to wish constant misery on her. I wanted her happy
with me while at the same time fearful of the consequences for opposing that.
Regrettably, I knew her depression was a step in the right direction. It was a sign
that she was coming to the conclusion she wouldn’t win against me, that there was
no escape, and that she was better off accepting her life with me. It would still take
her some time to come around, but once she recovered, I could start to show her
how enjoyable life with me could be.
I looked down at Jaden, sleeping soundly on my chest, and it warmed me like the
sun. She was so small yet so ferocious. How was it possible that someone could be
so adorable yet so diabolical at the same time? She had honestly impressed me with
her successful escape plan, but it didn’t piss me off any less. I wanted her safe.
Always. And if she was able to escape, my enemies would smell weakness and come
running.
If I couldn’t demonstrate my ability to control my own future wife, then how
could I be trusted to control my own empire? Every decision was judged like a
goddamn reality show; everyone was watching, and no one could ever afford to look
weak. Otherwise, they were quickly chewed up and spit out, allowing the vultures to
circle the remains until nothing was left.
And I was the shark who enjoyed eating the vultures.
Jaden stirred, and it brought my thoughts crashing back to her. My hand gently
caressed the side of her face, just admiring the softness of her skin. I had to admit I
was excited about the removal of the wiring in her jaw. I knew it was my own fault,
but
I didn’t want the headache of her screaming and arguing with me or anyone
else for that matter while I cleaned up the giant shit storm she’d created.
For the first few weeks, I had just wanted her silent and submissive. For the
most part, she had been, but I knew it wouldn’t last. Once she was able to speak
again, she would start expressing her complaints and objections in an array of cuss
words that would only make me want to reinstall the wire. I’d have to find a way to
instill her fear of me without fucking up her recovery. The only problem was I
wasn’t around enough to continue to remind her of who owned her. I already had to
fly back out tomorrow morning to deal with more shit, but I somehow managed to
have one day this week that allowed me the time to come and visit her. It was
overwhelming how much I missed her.
Just feeling her silky red hair between my fingers was enough to remind me of
how much I needed her. And it pissed me right the fuck off. In her presence, I’d
become obsessive, but in her absence, I’d become pathetically dependent. She was
always on my mind. Always. I felt like a goddamn drug addict just waiting for my
next fix.
In a very short span of time, Jaden had become the lifeline to the other side of
my world where others didn’t often venture. A side that was warm, and bright, and
safe, and Jaden was the fucking bouncer. I couldn’t get in without her. She was my
gateway drug that led straight to paradise, the place where I could forget everything
and just drown myself in her. The only problem was I treated her like a damn dog
treats its chew toys. I just had to remind myself not to chew too hard lest I ruined
her completely.
Jaden was still so much an experiment—my perfect little puzzle. I was still
figuring out what worked and what didn’t with her. If all else failed and she still
refused to break, I had one last card in my pocket to draw. My final ace—one I
hoped I wouldn’t need because the damage of that could be irreparable. It was a
dangerous and fragile method, and I feared that if I used it, neither one of us were
coming back from it. Ever.
There was a price for everything and mine just might be Jaden’s sanity …