by J Marie
deep into her submission she thought she really was, and what she really wanted
from me besides her goddamn freedom.
The hardest thing to break her of was the desire to escape. She still saw her life
with me as only temporary; that she would one day be free of me and this would all
be over. Her determination and will to beat me was much stronger than I gave her
credit for. I needed to give her a better reason to stay, to actually want to stay.
Threatening her family wasn’t enough, granting them mercy wasn’t enough, and
I’d already given her plenty of reasons to hate me. I needed to find a way to reverse
that heated passion into something else and give her a reason to want me, to love
me.
Stockholm syndrome was bullshit. Since when could anyone tell you who you
could and couldn’t love? Just because people put a label on falling for your
kidnapper didn’t mean it had to be a bad thing. Stockholm syndrome was just a
survival tactic for the mind, adapting to the situation by lessening the threat and
identifying with the captor. Yes, it occurred through trauma, but forming a bond
with Jaden during that delicate phase would ensure her loyalty to me. I didn’t give a
shit that Stockholm syndrome carried a negative connotation. That didn’t make it
any less real. And I’d make damn sure it was as real as it could fucking get.
My fingertips drew lazy circles around Jaden’s shoulder blade as my mind drifted
back to the last thing she’d said before she bolted from her therapy session.
Just like it worked out for Darren’s mother?
I’d revealed too much. She’d use that information as a shovel to dig for more.
She’d want the full story about the death of my mother and what it cost my father,
what it cost me. She’d have to earn her right to that privilege, but still, it bothered
me that she worried. She likely had a misguided opinion about my mother, and I’d
have to fix that. I wouldn’t allow her to form a biased opinion on something she
knew nothing about, something she would probably never understand. But then
again, maybe if I told her what happened, she might have a better understanding of
why I kept her under lock and key so tight. Either that or she’d never want to leave
the safety of the estate again.
24
CHANGE
Something had changed in Darren. I didn’t know what caused it, but I suddenly
gained a little more freedom. I could now walk in the woods, and I could do it
without the watch of my guards. I was only allowed an hour every day, and if I were
a second late from emerging from the trees, it would be taken away. I was so
grateful for his “gift” to me that I’d thanked him myself without prompt the entire
morning. He seemed to appreciate the rewards of his generosity as well while I
found it odd that I could reward him so easily for one good deed after six months of
bullshit. But it was my method of survival. If I showed him how happy I was when
he treated me well, then I hoped he would favor the response and do it more often.
If he could condition me, then I would do the same with him.
I did find it odd that he never brought up the conversation I’d had with Sid—the
one I knew he’d been listening in on. Maybe he didn’t want to admit that I was
right. That he didn’t want me obedient all the time, and that he wanted me to fight
him. That he missed it. But he never budged, not even at the idea of his mother,
and what I obviously thought of her and how she handled her situation with his
father.
I had to wonder if it wasn’t smarter that she had persuaded Darren’s father to
purchase her rather than someone she knew nothing about, someone who might
take pleasure in simply killing her instead of someone who took pleasure in simply
having her. Had Darren’s father loved her? Had he cared about her? I hadn’t even
thought to ask of his demise. Had he been killed, too? Does anyone die of old age in
this life?
I wanted to understand more of the world Darren lived in and the rules that
governed it. But I didn’t know how much information he would share with me. He
still liked to keep me in the dark with just about everything. I think he liked me
blissfully ignorant of the darkness he dealt with every day, but at times, it was hard
not to see it reflected in him. I’d notice on certain days he’d come home with blood
on his shirt, smelling like gunpowder and completely bury himself deep inside me
like it was his fucking sanctuary. And afterward, he’d shower all the death off the
both of us, carry my exhausted ass to bed, and tuck me into his side for the rest of
the night.
I still hated the man with every fiber of my being, but when the rare moments
came that he was gentle and almost loving, I couldn’t stop myself from diving
headfirst into the comfort he provided me. He was always so stern, intense and
brooding, yet somehow, he was still capable of leaving it all at the bedroom door
and showing me a softer side that existed only for me. Of course, that was only
when he felt like it and if I deserved it.
Before he’d left for the day, he gave me one of his Rolexes so I would know when
my hour was up in the woods. The damn thing was so big; it fit around my fucking
forearm, not to mention it felt like a damn weight strapped to my arm. I tried to
reason with him that I would likely lose it, but he warned me of the consequences if
that happened. He promised to replace it with my own at dinner.
That day, I’d spent most of my time outside, jogging in the water and walking
back waist deep as I had with Holly. Every moment I spent training, I couldn’t help
but think of her and remember how pissed off I still was at her death. It shouldn’t
have happened. I should have done better at keeping her safe from Darren’s
suspicions. She might have annoyed the hell out of me, but she got me back on my
feet, and she didn’t deserve to die.
When I decided to venture out into the trees, I made sure Darren’s stupid watch
was wedged tightly against the muscle of my forearm before I left Clive and Owen
on the patio. It was 12:30 p.m., so I had to be back by 1:30 p.m.
I jogged through the trees, observing every single thing I could of the
landscaping. I passed the hammock and small stream Darren had brought me to so
long ago, the memory of him pushing for info about my dad suddenly pissing me
off as I strolled past. Eventually, I finally came to the clearing and found a nice
shady spot where I could sit. Closing my eyes, I quieted my mind and meditated for
a while. It was hard to meditate in that house when so much darkness and cruelty
surrounded me. I was glad Darren was giving me a reprieve from it all.
Once I felt clarified, I removed Darren’s watch, carefully placing it in a spot
against a tree, and practiced some yoga, working on my handstands and advanced
poses. I couldn’t practice with the giant clunky thing dangling from my wrist. The
fact that the ground was grassy and extremely uneven made it more difficult, and I
liked the challenge in that. I moved on to practice my advanced spinning and jump
kicks, trying my best to get them higher and higher every time.
Needing a break from t
he exertion, I took a walk, purposefully heading to the
fox’s den to see if they were there. Creeping up to the tree, I carefully peered
around it, only to be flooded by disappointment. Not even a peep. Maybe they were
sleeping in the den. Turning back around, I sat on the ground and slumped against
the tree, but when I finally raised my head, my stomach dropped.
The mother fox was staring right at me no more than ten feet away from where I
sat. Remaining as still as possible, my eyes scanned every inch of her, recognizing
her posture as non-aggressive but still cautious. She stood to her full height—her
ears forward, tail down, and her eyes right on me. I tried to relax, making myself as
least threatening as possible and hoping I wouldn’t have to hurt her if she attacked.
Darren would kick my ass if a wild animal hurt me out here, and then he’d probably
never allow me back out.
After a few minutes of staring, she moved closer to me, her nose leading the way
as she sniffed the air. Step after hesitant step, she made her way to me, and I
regretted letting her get as close as she did. If I got bit, there would be hell to pay.
No more than a foot away from me, she continued to sniff, her jaws opening to
breathe me in and allowing me to catch the remnants of her sharp little teeth. I
thought about maybe scaring her away, but then she might retaliate to protect her
kits, and I’d still end up with a bite mark. So I remained as still as ever, trying to
keep my heart calm. But then the small cry of something behind me drew her
attention, and she quickly scampered away. I released a breath of relief and turned
around the tree to see her usher a stray kit back inside her burrow. Hopefully, now
that she had my scent, she wouldn’t see me as much of a threat anymore.
Reaching up to flick my stray hair back, I suddenly noticed it lacked a certain
weight. My stomach immediately twisted in knots as I realized I’d left Darren’s
watch by the tree in the clearing … and I had no idea what time it was. Jumping up,
I dashed through the trees as fast as I could until I finally came to the clearing and
saw the shiny silver Rolex dead ahead. My heart pumping like crazy, I snatched up
the hunk of metal and looked for the time. 1:28 p.m.
“Shit!”
Wrapping my hand around the metal band, I raced through the clearing and back
into the trees. I was at least ten minutes away from the house, but if I ran fast
enough, I might just make it in time. I worked my legs like pistons, pushing them
as quickly as they could, jumping over stray branches and hoping like fuck I didn’t
tear my clothes in my haste.
Glancing down at the watch, I had about five seconds left before that timer
would go off, and I’d be fucked. I pushed harder, leaping my way over the stream as
I passed the hammock, finally back on the trail. The entrance was about a hundred
yards away when the timer went off, announcing the shit day I was going to endure
for the rest of the afternoon.
On a growl, I kicked it up one final notch and blasted my way through the trail
and finally shot of the woods. As soon as I hit the grass, my eyes landed on the
estate to find Clive and Owen standing on the edge of the patio. Owen lifted his
watch to his mouth before the two of them descended down the slope of the grassy
hill, heading for me.
I rolled my eyes and slumped to the ground as I fought to catch my breath and
calm my heartbeat. I felt like I was going to pass out from the terror and exertion.
Bad combination.
When the two of them finally reached me, they looked down with disappointed
smirks and shook their heads.
“You’re late, Miss Jaden,” Clive said, amused.
I looked at the watch still clutched in my hand.
“By three minutes,” I huffed between breaths.
“Three seconds or three minutes makes no difference to Mr. Davis,” Owen
added.
Right. I’d forgotten about his severe detest for tardiness.
“You guys gonna spank me now? Or do I have to face the corner until he gets
home?”
They repressed their sighs through their noses and reached down to haul me to
my feet.
“Let’s go, Miss Jaden,” Clive said, escorting me back to the house while Owen
grasped my other arm.
“You can let go now. I’ll be a good girl,” I growled at them, yanking my arms free
of their grasp. They let go without issue.
I was shunned to my room for the rest of the day, which was fine since I was
about ready for a nap anyway.
When it was time for dinner, I was escorted down to the dining room and waited
for Darren to arrive, which he did after about five minutes.
He kissed my temple when he arrived, and I couldn’t help but clench my jaw in
fear. “How was your day?” he asked as he sat down.
“Good,” I replied, making an effort at some pleasant conversation, hoping he
would ignore the giant pink elephant I knew he was waiting to address. “Yours?”
“Successful,” he said happily as he placed his folded hands on the table, leaning
toward me. I nodded and turned my eyes toward the window. I heard him take a
breath. “I understand you were late coming back from the woods today.”
I scoffed. “Did my tattletales tell you that?”
Darren’s eyes darkened. “They didn’t need to. Your cuffs have been modified to
register your heart rate, body temperature, exercise and sleep patterns. Your heart
rate spiked at 1:25 p.m. and then again three minutes later.”
I sighed, annoyed at his obsessive stalker tendencies, and placed my face in my
hands. “I accidentally left your bowling ball of a watch by a tree while I practiced
some yoga. Afterward, I went for a walk, and several minutes later, I suddenly
realized a ten-pound weight was missing from my wrist, then immediately ran
back to retrieve it and found out it was 1:28 p.m. I ran back as fast as I could. I’m
sorry; please don’t be mad at me.”
He sighed, just as annoyed as I was, and slid his chair back. “Come here.”
I groaned, wincing back my irritation. I’d known this was going to happen. On a
deep breath, I stood from my chair and took the two short steps toward him.
Grabbing my arm, he swiftly pulled me over his lap and hauled my dress up,
exposing my bare ass. I didn’t even fight him. Just gritted my teeth and dug my
fingernails into the rug below as my hair fell over my face and onto the floor.
“I was lenient with you yesterday, practically rewarding you for your disregard
for my rules. And now, when I’ve granted you more freedom against my better
judgment, you prove me right and defy me.”
“It was three minutes!” I shouted in my defense.
The first strike was quick, the pain of his palm spreading over my cheek and
causing me to gasp.
“I don’t care!” he roared down at me, and I immediately flinched, the sound of
his angry raised voice absolutely terrifying. “You know what is expected of you.
Deviate and I will be there to put you back in line. Do you understand me?”
“Yes, Darren,” I murmured. My monster had returned.
Do not cry. Don’t you dare fucking cry.
“Count.”
His
hand came down again, and the burn on my cheek matched the burn in my
throat from holding back my tears.
“One,” I mumbled, the cheeks on my face burning with just as much
humiliation as the ones raised over his lap.
His hand came down, over and over again, the humiliation searing into my ass
as he beat me back into submission. When he was done with his ten and my ass
thoroughly reddened, he yanked me back up to straddle him over the chair. My
hands laid limp at my sides while Darren glared up at my face. I knew it was red
from hanging nearly upside down bent over his knees and though my eyes were
wet, not a single tear had dropped.
“Now kiss me,” he ordered.
On instinct to obey his command, I licked my lips and bent down slightly to give
him what he wanted without a second thought. He’d trained me so well. The
moment our lips touched, his hands gripped my hips, holding me still as he took
what he wanted while I combatted with my own aggression. My hands shifted from
my sides to find themselves clutching his massive shoulders, deepening the kiss
and pulling him closer.
Instead of lingering on the spanking he just gave me, the one that left my
insides dripping with heat and my mind solid with degradation, I dove deep into the
memories of last night. His tenderness, affection, and the undivided attention he
gave to my body was enough to make me forget all the horrible things he’d done to
me … but only because I allowed myself to forget. Even though he could create such
pain and shower me with such cruelty, he was still capable of kindness, a world of
promised pleasure at his fingertips if I obeyed him. I wanted to see more of it. I’d
grown accustomed to his possessive primal glare, but I wanted to find the adoration
I saw in his eyes last night.
On a growl, he broke the kiss, lifted me up, and knocked everything off the table
with one sweep of his arm. Slamming me down where his empty plate had just
been, he replaced his absent meal with my body, shoving my dress up and ripping
my thong from my hips. Forcing my legs apart, Darren thrust his tongue into my
already slick pussy and devoured me like I was the goddamn main course. All fucks
aside, I moaned in ecstasy, relishing the soft wet strokes of his masterful tongue
over my clit. Fuck, I could barely breathe; it felt so good.