by J Marie
behind. The force made me cry out in pain and absolute fucking bliss. His cock
stroked every inch of my core, knowing exactly where I liked it as though he had
written the goddamn manual. I couldn’t stop the moans and cries as I gave up my
fight and let him have his way. Because as deep as my denial went, I loved being
taken by him like this. The indisputable raw passion, obsession, and lust that
manifested at these moments took me to a place I was unfamiliar with, a place I
found myself eager to explore and conquer. Because it felt like salvation when I did.
My nails bit into Darren’s shoulders until my knuckles turned white. His groans
of pleasure ringing in my ears as he took me over and over again reminded me of
how much he loved it, too. A sharp smack came across my ass, and I screamed,
wanting to move my head, but Darren only yanked my hair harder. A few hard
strokes later, Darren flipped me onto my back, wasting no time as he entered me to
pin my wrists above my head. And that was when he found the spot, and I nearly
howled from how good it felt. I hated the man, but he could fuck like a goddamn
Olympian. I guess you learned a lot when you had so much expendable pussy on
hand.
“Wrap your legs around me,” he ordered. I complied without hesitation,
allowing him to drive even deeper than before.
“Oh, my God!” I screamed, needing and wanting every single inch of him I could
get.
“Fuck, you’re soaked,” Darren groaned, his grip on me tightening. “Do you feel
that, Jaden? Do you feel how much your pussy loves this?”
God, I did. His cock filled me completely, pushing beyond the limits of my walls
and stretching me to the brink. It wasn’t much longer before a storm of an orgasm
ruptured through me, sparking every nerve ending to life as wave after wave of
pleasure crashed through me.
“That’s my girl,” Darren growled in approval. At least he was gentleman enough
to let me come first.
Darren began to pump himself even harder, my breasts bouncing from so much
force it became uncomfortable. After not much longer did he release a heady groan
followed by hot jets of cum filling me before he collapsed on top of me. After a few
moments of catching his breath, he finally rose up on his elbows and gazed down at
me.
“You can deny it all you want, but your body knows who it belongs to. And
eventually,” he said, the tip of his forefinger pressing into the middle of my chest,
“so will this.”
“Never,” I croaked, fighting back against the exhaustion of my adrenaline rush.
“It’s inevitable. You’re mine, Jaden. And one way or another, however long it
takes, you’ll succumb. Every. Single. Inch.”
I shook my head on a scowl; raising my eyes to the ceiling to avoid his heated
gaze, I was no longer interested in the argument. He was still lodged inside me and
still very hard. He hadn’t softened one little bit, which meant I was in for a long
night.
“Do not fight me,” Darren ordered after a moment. He picked my dead weight
off the bed, keeping himself inside me while he pulled me to his chest. “Wrap your
legs around me and hold on.”
Reluctantly, I did what he asked, and he proceeded to carry me out of the room
and up the stairs to his bedroom where we continued to fuck well into the night
until I finally passed out from exhaustion.
When I woke up, it was a little after two a.m., and Darren was nowhere to be
found. Thank fuck. I needed a break from his dick and constant alpha male antics.
Attempting to go back to sleep, I twisted and turned in the sheets, but my mind was
too busy racing over the last few hours. My body might have been exhausted, but
my mind was wide awake with worry and anxiety.
Surrendering, I rolled out of bed, not giving a fuck that I was still naked, and
walked over to the windows. I didn’t bother trying to leave the room. Wherever
Darren put me for the night was where I was likely meant to stay. I didn’t know
what the fuck he could possibly be doing at this hour, but what did I care?
White iridescent light from the full moon flooded into the room, beckoning me
to reveal myself in it. I sat down on the carpeted floor just outside the window,
completely encompassed by the moon’s glow and stared off into the world I was
barred from.
The view was beyond beautiful. With the ocean off in the distance, the light of
the moon reflected off the water while the stars twinkled above, and it was nearly a
perfect night. I found myself wanting to go down to the beach and walk the night
waves, but I knew that wasn’t happening.
I tried to ignore it, but my mind kept going back to the sharp words I’d shared
with Darren. I’d never thought I knew the monster so well until he revealed how
he’d planned to exploit my trauma into something he thought would benefit him.
That I would succumb to my distress and break, allowing him to claim the loyalty he
wanted so badly from me.
Even the idea of pretending to love him to get him to trust me was enough to
make me vomit. I couldn’t keep that charade up even if my life depended on it …
and it sort of did. I could not look at him with adoration or feel anything but
absolute hatred and disgust. I had no idea how long I would have to fake that shit,
and I didn’t think I had it in me to keep it going. He’d figure it out eventually, and I
didn’t want to think of what he would do if he thought I was lying about something
as important as that.
Getting him to love me would be easier, but that didn’t mean he would
automatically trust me. I just wanted his sympathy, but who knew if that was even
guaranteed? He might be even more resentful because I didn’t reciprocate his
feelings.
God, I just wanted to give up. I didn’t want to do this anymore. There was an
obstacle at every turn, and I had no idea how many turns were in this fucked-up
maze that was my life. I had nothing going for me—no purpose—other than to be
fucked on a daily basis whenever and however Darren wanted me. That was no life.
I needed more. If I was going to be here for as long as I was, then I needed
something to hold on to, something that moved with me, not left me behind. But I
didn’t know what to ask for. And I didn’t know if I would even get it.
It didn’t take long for my tears to unconsciously roll down my cheeks, falling to
my knees as I held on to myself. I tried counting the days of how long I’d been here,
and I came to realize since that almost the end of July, it had been about five
months. God, it felt like it was forever. It was December now; the weather changes
were rolling in, and though it was only in the sixties in California, it was getting
down to the thirties in Michigan. That also meant Christmas was around the corner
somewhere. Fuck, I missed the snow this time of year. My family and I would
usually go up north around this time and spend a whole weekend at Boyne
Mountain, snowboarding until the sun went down. I’d race my brothers down the
hills and occasionally let them win. Occasionally. I could never beat Jason, though.
He’d been snowboarding since he was a kid.
I
hated that my mind had brought him up, but with Christmas clearly around the
corner, I couldn’t help but think of him and our Christmas mornings. It was my
favorite holiday. It meant I got to be surrounded by my family, basking in all the
lights and colors, the food, music, and unexplainable magic in the air I felt
whenever that time finally came back around again.
I couldn’t imagine sharing my love of that magic with Darren. I didn’t even
know if he celebrated Christmas since he seemed to forget all about Thanksgiving.
Maybe I should ask. Maybe I should forget about it. I was stuck between asking him
to make my life less miserable to keeping it miserable so I would remember to hate
him.
I would not fall in love with him. I majored in psychology, for fuck’s sake. I
would be able to decipher reality from fantasy. I was too strong to lose track of my
ultimate goals. Even though most of the time I loved the way Darren fucked me
when he wasn’t punishing me, I still wasn’t gone enough to know it was wrong. He
was wrong — evil and callous. Whether I became his wife or the mother of his
children, I was still a captive. Darren and Sid could try to twist the philosophy of it
however they wanted, but if I wasn’t allowed the choice to leave, I was a captive.
End of. But I could choose what kind of captive to be; whether that was a
cooperative captive or a rebellious captive, it was my choice.
But where would cooperation lead me? Right into the devil’s arms.
To Darren, this would always be a game of wills. And if I wasn’t careful, if I
unconsciously gave in to my trauma and surrendered my internal fight from years
of exhaustion, I’d never forgive myself. From the moment I’d first come into his
ownership, it’d been nothing but manipulation. So far, I’d been able to withstand
and counter, but I had a feeling his efforts were about to increase tenfold. I had to
stay sharp, stay aware, and keep my heart guarded against the evils that sought to
destroy me. I might have to bend to Darren’s will, but I would not yield to my own.
28
SNOW
My knuckles ached. After my night with Jaden, I still had too much energy to
dispel, though I had no idea how. Fighting with her always put me on edge, and
while I had to be somewhat gentle with her, it wasn’t required for the scumbags
who owed me money.
Every now and then, when I was in the mood, I’d handle the debtors myself and
take whatever pent-up rage and violence I’d been harboring out on them. Some
survived, some didn’t. Some were never the same again. If they happened to have
the money, I might just break a bone here or there for making me wait. Interest
didn’t have to be in the form of money. It could also be in blood. And it was always
at my discretion.
Scott would sometimes have too much fun with them, to the point I would
applaud his creativity. The more blood he spilled, the more satisfied he seemed. He
was a sick son of a bitch, and I loved him for it. But tonight wasn’t about blood loss;
it was more of a blunt force trauma kind of night.
I’d cracked three skulls in the last hour, each one worth about ten grand in
comparison to their gambling debts from the underground poker parties—money I
didn’t give a shit about. I’d made that in an hour alone. I didn’t hide from my urges
to create pain; I didn’t deny myself the enjoyment of instilling fear in others and
then reminding them of why they had good cause to be afraid. It was exhilarating.
Choosing whether to grant life or death and then act out that choice was an
experience to behold.
My father had always taught me about the importance of life—that it was
important to give and important to take. When their purpose was gone, they no
longer held value and instantly became a liability. We didn’t deal with liabilities—
we eliminated them without hesitation. You didn’t leave the family simply because
of this principle. You might be granted leave to retire past a certain age, but if you
were called upon—no matter the reason—your loyalty remained unquestionable.
No one ever wanted to become a liability, yet I had granted one exception. The only
liability worth all the trouble.
By the time we got back to the house, and I was satisfied, I couldn’t help but look
forward to finding Jaden naked and asleep in my bed. I wanted to feel her soft skin
against mine, her solid tiny frame in my arms while her glossy hair draped over my
shoulder. She had the ability to calm and enrage me at the same time; it was a
dangerous combination, but feeling her against me was one of the best feelings in
the world.
So when I passed the guards standing post at my bedroom door and opened it to
find her not in my bed, irritation and a small amount of panic set in because she
wasn’t where I expected her to be. My eyes quickly scanned the room until I found
her sitting on the floor in the moonlight by the window. Her pale naked skin
practically glowed in the light, making her look like something straight from
Heaven. With her red hair draped down her bare back, the light of the moon
changed the hue of the colors, making them darker, almost blood-like. Beautiful.
She didn’t turn around as I entered, but I had a strong feeling she knew I was
there since I noticed her go hands move to wipe her face as she sniffled. She’d been
crying again. Regarding her carefully, I kicked off my shoes by the couch and
removed my blood-stained t-shirt, not wanting to taint her perfect skin.
“You should be in bed,” I said as I approached her.
“Couldn’t sleep.” Her voice was quiet, reserved, submissive. She wouldn’t be
fighting me much anymore tonight. I’d successfully extinguished those flames
again.
I moved to stand over her, my hands in the pockets of my jeans as I smirked
down at her. “I fucked you for nearly three hours. How can you not sleep?”
She scoffed. “Because my mind is stronger than my body,” she said.
And wasn’t that the goddamn truth. Her mind was racing again. She was likely
thinking thoughts she shouldn’t be thinking, plotting, deliberating with herself
about me and what to do with her life. She was still clinging to that resistance, and I
was prepared for that fight, but sometimes, it pained me to know she was only
making everything worse for herself.
On a drawn-out sigh, I sat down on the floor behind her, my legs stretched out
on either side of hers and pulled her to my chest. She settled against me without
protest, her chilled bare skin calming the heat in the center of my chest and
warming hers.
“You’re doing that thing again that you shouldn’t be doing,” I said softly in her
ear, her hair tickling my jawline. My hands rested on my bent knees, effectively
caging her body in mine, but she didn’t react, just relaxed as best she could.
“Are you going to punish me for thinking about snow?” she asked quietly,
sniffling again.
I furrowed my brows. “Snow?”
“Yes, snow.”
“And why does snow have a place in your mind right now?”
“I was thinking about how much I miss it.”
“Mmm,” I said, resting my lips a
gainst her hair while my knuckles brushed over
the skin of her arm. I didn’t know if I liked where this conversation was going.
“What brought this on?”
“It’s Christmas next week,” she announced.
“I know,” I murmured against her skin, as if it was something I was supposed to
care about.
We didn’t often celebrate Christmas in my house after my father passed. He was
the only one who pushed to get all of us together, and now that he was gone, my
brothers and I just stuck to our own busy schedules. Dan celebrated with his wife’s
family, Dom partied in Vegas, and I was too busy running everything else to give a
shit about a fucking holiday. I did give my staff one hell of a Christmas bonus,
though. That was as festive as I got.
Since I’d missed Thanksgiving, I didn’t think that I could potentially start my
own holiday traditions with Jaden as Dan did with his wife, but it might do her
some good to experience a little holiday fun. I was sure I could think of something
to make her eyes sparkle. Especially if she missed the snow.
I could feel Jaden start to sink into me more and more, her sleepiness starting to
take over again. Taking her in my arms, I lifted her up and carried her back to the
bed without a single moan of protest. She was still awake, but I wanted to hold her
closer. Gently laying her down in the bed, I removed my pants and crawled in,
resting her cheek against my chest. She sighed sleepily, resting her hand on my
abdomen while my fingers drew lazy circles on her shoulder. My other hand drew
lines up and down her arm as it rested on my torso, lulling her to sleep. That was
when she suddenly, but softly, wrapped her fingers around my wrist to pull my
hand up for her to see.
Curious, I let her fingers continue their exploration, her small hands expanding
my fingers to open my palm. She turned my hand around, exposing my raw and red
knuckles. The darkness of the night shielded only what it could from the
moonlight, but it wasn’t enough. I could feel her face tighten as she focused on the
remains of blood that dirtied my father’s ring on my middle knuckle. Her thumb
traced just below my knuckles, her touch soft and gentle, as though she were trying
to avoid hurting me.
She sighed through her nose, acknowledging the damage I’d done tonight and