She prayed for death before that could happen. Maybe a stroke or an aneurysm. An accidental painkiller overdose, a bad case of food poisoning or some kind of infection. Lord knows the place was filthy enough to give her some kind of disease or dysentery. There was no way she could even hoard her own stash of meds, not with Kali injecting them into her arm every night.
She had taken to speaking aloud as she lay strapped to the bed. There was little else she could do. There was no reading material, no television. Conversation was the only thing she had going for her in the entertainment category, and talking to Junior, Kali, or the corpse of Hank Ballas was better than giving more credence to the blabbering voices in her head. Especially her mother’s. She was tired of Janie Quick’s know-it-all retorts to her every passing thought. They had become so prevalent and demeaning, especially after Nina’s horribly failed escape attempt, that if the woman ever arrived here to escort her home to Des Moines, Nina would have to give the proposition some thought before going along.
This was the time of day she’d come to think of as the “post-lunch strap-nap.” Junior had crept in a few minutes ago to assume his usual position in his corner roost. Her belly was full of canned soup, the leather straps were fastened tightly across her body, and soon she would fall asleep and awake a few hours later to a dinner of cold mystery meat and gravy paired with plain rice or noodles and an overcooked vegetable out of a can. Jailhouse food cooked with a little less love and attention. She would have killed a baby for some of her mom’s fried chicken and mashed potatoes.
Gazing up at the network of ropes over her head, she began her daily conversation, which was little more than a loosely delivered autobiography amid other stray thoughts. “You know, my Uncle Richie used to be a prop guy for the community theater back in our old town. At least when he wasn’t putting time in at the local chicken farm. He’d probably be really impressed by all your rigs and things. Did you do all this yourself?”
No answer. There never were answers. Nina was okay with that. She was comfortable with the sound of her own voice, rough and weak as it was.
“Richie was a cool guy. He was the only one in my family who wasn’t a total asshole. Still a drunk, though. They all were. I think it’s a requirement of living there, at least if you have any kind of self-awareness and you realize the best your life is ever going to get is living in a beat up trailer and spending half your days up to your ankles in chicken shit and the other half throwing spotlights on a bunch of corn-husking high school drop-outs fumbling their way through a shoddy production of A Midsummer Night’s Dream that maybe one out of ten people in the audience can sort of understand. When that’s your life, you either turn to the bottle, or run away before you fall in headfirst. That’s what I did.”
She grunted a laugh. “That’s funny. I mentioned Shakespeare in the middle of my own little soliloquy. Don’t be fooled by my fancy words, though. I put in a few semesters at the local community college before I bailed for the big city. I guess that makes me more educated than the rest of my family, but dumber just the same. I could be sitting in my mom’s trailer right now eating a fried chicken dinner and chasing it with a can of whatever swill was on special at the local quickie mart. That could have been my life if I’d just been a little more . . . dull.”
Her eyes welled up with tears, and she lay silent for a little while, weeping as the steady rattle of her captor’s breathing lulled her to sleep. She was right on the edge when a strange tickling on her feet jerked her away from oblivion. Her eyes flew open, and she saw Junior dangling upside down over the foot of the bed, his unnaturally long tongue darting out and licking between her toes.
She jerked in revulsion, but the restraints around her ankles prevented her from moving more than a fraction of an inch. He was licking her toes. Not only that, but his right arm was jerking in a rapid motion, and she realized he was also masturbating. She didn’t think she could have been more disgusted if she’d awakened to find a large centipede crawling out of her nose. He’d licked her face before, and that was bad enough. She squished her eyes closed and imagined Kali giving her a bed bath, cleaning her feet with the cool washcloth. That almost sufficed to convince her bordering-on-frantic mind until the sucking started.
And then her mind turned traitor. Horrible traitor. The kind of traitor that deserved immediate death before a firing squad. It felt kind of good.
No it doesn’t! That’s fucking sick!
But it does. Remember when Joey did it that one time and you came so hard you ripped a hole in the sheet with your fingernails?
“Shut up!” she screamed. “Get off me! Now! Get off!”
Sharp, piercing pain erupted in her big toe. Junior looked up at her and showed her his filed teeth, reminding her he was perfectly capable of biting off any number of digits from her body if the fancy struck him.
Or an ear, or perhaps a tit. Don’t forget that, girlie.
With that, the unflappable Janie Quick did her daughter the best possible favor. The traitorous bubble of arousal at the sickeningly sensual way the freak was caressing her toes with his tongue burst, and she embraced the remaining bitterness and disgust like an old friend who had been thinking of moving away, but decided at the last moment to stick around. A moment later, he made that all too familiar grunt Nina had heard hundreds of times in her previous line of work, and her saliva-slick toes were coated in warm fluid.
He climbed back up to the web and crept out of the room, pulling the door closed behind him. Nina began to tremble, and the dam of tears burst, letting out a fresh hot torrent of sobs. She finally acknowledged her terror. Not at what the freak had done. What had just happened wasn’t too different from a typical Saturday night in her old life. No, she was afraid of the new and ghoulish part of herself that seemed to enjoy it.
***
Kali came in with the dinner tray several hours later, setting it down on the nightstand so she could undo the straps and help Nina sit up. A little while ago, she didn’t think she would be able to muster up much of an appetite, but something was different about the food this time. It actually smelled good. Really good. Garlic, tomatoes, beef.
With the tray arranged across her legs, she could hardly believe her eyes. Before her was a huge plate of spaghetti with three meatballs the size of a child’s fist, four thick slabs of crusty fresh bread with herbed butter, a bowl of salad with shaved parmesan cheese, olives, and croutons, and finally a monstrous wedge of New York style cheesecake with a red, gooey sauce that could have been strawberry or raspberry.
“What in the world . . .” she murmured.
“He’s feeling generous tonight,” Kali said. “I picked this up at a place in Little Italy. Many say it’s the best in New York.”
She couldn’t wait any longer. A thought passed through her mind that the food was poisoned, that Junior was giving her the dignity of a final meal before killing her and turning her into a marionette’s play thing. But all that was drowned in the explosion of ecstasy at her first bite. She plowed through the noodles, while using the bread to mop up the sauce, pausing only to cut her meatballs into chunks so she could stuff even more into her mouth.
Joey used to take her to some great Italian joints, but they all paled in comparison to this feast. It didn’t escape her that her current perspective on food was a little warped after weeks of cheap scraps, but it didn’t matter. She was now eating the best meal of her life. She wasn’t sure after all the pasta, meatballs, and bread she would have room for dessert. Her meals before this had been small, just enough to keep her from starving. Now her gut felt like it was going to burst. But she also knew if she didn’t eat it all now, Kali would take it away and it would never come back again.
So she dug into the cheesecake, and the dense creaminess coupled with the tart raspberry flavor of the sauce immediately dulled the fullness sensors in her brain. She powered through the slice and even scraped the plate of all available fruit puree before dropping the fork and pushing away the tra
y.
“I think I’m going to be sick,” she said, but it was a lovely feeling to be that full. She could feel her body using it already.
Kali plopped two tablets into a glass of water, which immediately began to fizz. “Drink this. It will help get rid of the bloat.”
Nina drank and a few seconds later, she let out an enormous burp and felt a little better. “Thanks.”
“You’ve made a mess.” Kali pointed to the front of Nina’s gown, which was speckled with marinara.
“Sorry.” She wasn’t, really.
After taking the tray and setting it aside, Kali went to the room’s dresser and pulled out another gown. It seemed there was an endless supply of them. “Why do you suppose he was in such a good mood? Is he trying to fatten me up for something?” Nina let Kali pull off the stained garment and helped her carefully thread the IV tubing and bag through the armhole. It had become a bit of a silent dance between the two of them lately.
“Why must you always ask questions? Why can’t you just accept his generosity and leave it at that?”
“Because he’s holding me prisoner here, and I have no idea what his plans for me are. Why hasn’t he killed me yet? Why is he letting me lie here day after day, like he’s just waiting for something to happen?”
Kali pulled the clean nightgown over Nina’s head and down her knees before pulling the blanket back up, tucking her in. “If I tell you one thing, will you promise to be quiet?”
“Yes, I promise.” Of course she wouldn’t.
The woman clasped her hands at her heart and took in a deep breath like someone getting ready to reveal great news. “You won’t be a prisoner much longer. Soon you will be like me.”
Nina gaped at her, horrorstruck at all the possibilities hidden in those words. “What does that mean, be like you?”
The nurse gave her a strange Mona Lisa smile as she began to fasten the straps around Nina’s legs again. “We will know soon enough. Now lie back. Not all the way. You still need to digest that huge meal.”
Nina’s patience was receding like a tide before a tsunami, exposing raw nerves. She supposed they were hoping fancy food would make her into a docile calf, but they were wrong. “No. No, you can’t say things like this and expect me to just take it. Whose side are you on? Whose side do you expect me to be on? Do you think I’m just going to join you and help him do this to someone else? That’s just sick!”
But you liked what he did to your toes, didn’t you? You won’t be able to shake that out of your head, no matter how hard you try. You’d even let him do it again, just so you could close your eyes and think about Joey. Try to deny it.
Shut up shut up shut up!
This little piggy went to the market.
Kali leaned in close. Her eyes were wide and earnest, and Nina could see she’d lined them delicately with liquid liner. Or maybe they were tattooed.“You are very close to good things. Please don’t make this more difficult for yourself.”
This little piggy stayed home.
Nina shoved the taunting voice away to little avail. “In case you didn’t notice, they already are difficult for me. I’m tied to the goddamned bed, my body has been ruined. I’m . . . I’m having a fucking breakdown over here!”
Kali slapped her hard little hand over Nina’s mouth.
This little piggy had roast beef.
“Keep . . . your . . . voice . . . down. I will put a gag in your mouth and keep it there every day if I have to. Barring that, I’ll cut out your tongue. Do you understand?”
This little piggy had none.
Nina fought the urge to gnash her teeth and bite at the cowardly woman’s flesh. That would only make things worse. Instead, she nodded, and a few seconds later, Kali lifted her hand.
“I’m scared. Don’t you understand that? I know you do. I can tell you’re afraid of him, even though you’re helping him. I’m afraid of what he’s going to do to me. What he’s doing to me now.”
And this little piggy went wee wee wee all the way home!
Kali smiled. Maternal and insane all in one go. “You don’t need to be afraid. You are his special girl, Nina. He’s been waiting for the right one, and he chose you. That he is being so generous shows you have passed nearly every important test he’s put before you. All that is left is one.”
“What sort of test?”
Kali stood up straight. “I still feel it is too early, but he did say I could do it at any time. And if you don’t pass the first time, we can always try again in a couple of weeks.” She left the room, closing the door most of the way. When she came back, she was reaching into the pocket of her red robe.
Nina pulled away a little, fearing it would be a knife or some other torture device. Would the test be for some new pain threshold? Maybe they were going to carve some sort of symbol on her body or fill a goblet with her blood and drink it and engage in a demonic ritual.
“Don’t . . . please don’t. I don’t want to know. I’ll just lie here and be quiet. See?”
“Don’t fret. Look.”
It took Nina a minute to figure it out. What Kali pulled out of her pocket wasn’t a knife or any other weapon or torture device she’d seen before. It was a white plastic wand with a purple cap. What in the world?
White wand, purple cap. You’ve seen these things before. Seen them a lot, especially in your line of work. Don’t tell me you’ve gone completely stupid. Maybe it’s because you’re only seeing the back of it.
Then the realization set in, and she suddenly wished it was a torture device. Perhaps a big, dull rusty buck knife they would use to slowly cut off pieces of her. Anything but this.
“But I’m on the pill,” she whimpered.
“You haven’t been on the pill for the last six weeks. Besides, the pill isn’t a hundred percent, and I would wager, busy working girl such as yourself, you’ve missed a dose more than once.” That Mona Lisa smile returned, and Nina realized the bitch was actually enjoying this. Possibly was even the orchestrator behind the whole sick charade. Maybe Junior was her pet and not the other way around. Either way, Kali would never be on her side. What else was new? No woman ever had been, really. She bent down beside the bed and came up with the catheter bag and the plastic tub she emptied it into twice a day. “You know, it wasn’t so long ago these tests only worked when a woman was at least eight weeks pregnant. And you had to use the very first urine of the day. Technology has come so far. But still, I like to be careful, which is why I’m not going to put too much faith into a negative result at this time.”
“So this whole time I’ve been here, you’ve been trying to get me pregnant?”
Kali didn’t answer; she didn’t need to. She removed the end of the catheter tube and let the urine wet the end of the pregnancy test as it splashed into the tub. Afterward, she closed off the catheter and replaced the cap on the end of the test and set the wand on the dinner tray.
“They say to wait a few minutes, but I have found that a positive test shows itself much sooner. It’s fun to watch that second line appear in the result window. Would you like to see?”
Nina turned her head away. How many times had Kali done this? And to how many women? She felt stupid for not figuring it out sooner. It was so obvious when she thought about it, and each new realization slammed into the other like dominoes in her head, leading her to a greater understanding. No wonder they were feeding her and nursing her to health. No wonder Junior had stopped playing his little puppet games with her and taken to just watching her from his little nest in the corner. It seemed like he had been waiting for something, and here it was, a little slip of paper encased in cheap plastic.
The thought of carrying this freak’s baby inside her . . . She had no words for the disgust and horror she felt. Suddenly, her huge meal was having second thoughts about its new home.
Morning sickness already, huh?
“That test can’t be positive. It just can’t.”
“On the contrary, you’d better hope it is. Ma
ybe not this test, but certainly the next one. He’s impatient enough as is, and frankly so am I. If he decides you aren’t going to be a fit vessel, then he will . . . not be kind.”
“He’s done this before, hasn’t he? How many times? How many women has he chosen?”
Kali didn’t answer.
Nina shivered while the woman leaned over to check the stick. It wasn’t the Mona Lisa smile she was wearing this time. It was a full-on toothy grin, equal parts happiness and pride. Nina didn’t need to see the results to know what they were. Not with a winning smile like that.
“It looks like you won’t have to worry about any of that.” She held up the stick, and Nina, who had read a number of pregnancy test results in her day, both for herself and a few unlucky girls at the Weeping Willow, knew exactly what she was looking at.
“Kill me,” she pleaded with the woman who was too overjoyed at the moment to hear her. Soon Kali was running from the room, sari flying behind her like a bloody flag. “Good news, my love! Wonderful wonderful news!”
“I’ll kill us both,” Nina whispered to the newly discovered passenger inside her. “Don’t get too comfy in there.”
Chapter 11
Ramón in the Nile
AC was a bad idea. For a reformed gambling addict, going there was like sending a depressed diabetic to a donut shop and daring him not to eat a baker’s dozen, but there weren’t many other options, and besides, the Cassini influence wasn’t particularly strong here. He was better off at this place than in New York. When he arrived, he checked into a cheap little motel a few blocks away from the main strip, paying cash for a week’s stay. He wasn’t ready to approach Benny Rosen just yet. He wanted to get the lay of the land first, know who or what he was dealing with. Jonny Spank had said Rosen wasn’t OG, but it was likely the man didn’t see new fish unannounced. Ramón might need to find someone who could vouch for him first. It was easy enough to do that if he spent a few days poking his nose into a few places around town, listening for the right kind of gossip.
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