“What’s your first memory in Merellä?” Pan asked, coming at the question from a different angle.
“Um . . . it was dark.” Eliana stared up at the ceiling and squinted. “Nighttime. I was sitting on the roof of one of the houses here, watching the stars, and I was thinking . . . I was wondering how I was going to go about finding someone.”
Pan sat up straight on the stool. “Who were you trying to find?”
She shook her head. “I don’t know. I don’t think I even knew then.”
“Then how do you know you were looking for someone?” I asked.
“Do you ever walk into a room, and you know that you came in there for something, but you can’t remember what it is? It’s usually simple or silly, maybe a book or a mango. But you don’t know. You can’t remember, but deep down you’re certain you went in there for something,” Eliana explained as best she could. “That there’s something that you’re missing.”
“She might have been coming to see you, Pan,” Dagny suggested. She stood off to the side of the room, watching the whole conversation unfold.
“You mean the Inhemsk Project? Does that sound familiar?” Pan asked.
“We already asked her about it,” I clarified.
“It sounds familiar now because they’ve talked about it, but I don’t remember hearing of it before. I just knew . . .” Her brow furrowed as she concentrated. “I think I heard that the Mimirin is where you come to find someone.”
“That is true.” Pan leaned forward now, resting his arms on his legs. “I can help you find who you’re looking for.”
“How?” Eliana asked doubtfully. “If I don’t even know who it is, how can you possibly find them?”
“It’s my job,” he said matter-of-factly. “Right now I’m helping Ulla try to find her mother, and she has a few leads, but none of them are concrete. All she really knows is that she didn’t spring fully formed from the earth, so she has to have a mother out there somewhere.”
“How do you know that she didn’t?” Eliana asked.
Pan looked confused. “Didn’t what?”
“Spring fully formed from the earth?”
He laughed softly. “Because she’s a troll, and that’s not how trolls are made.”
“So, you think I’m a troll?” Eliana reasoned.
“You think you aren’t?” he asked.
“No, it’s more like Dagny and Ulla don’t seem so sure that I am one.”
“Her hair is unlike anything we’ve seen before,” I said, simplifying my position on the whole thing. “We didn’t want to make any assumptions just because she has some trollian features.”
“Her hair is unusual,” Pan allowed, staring at her now-vibrant purple locks. “But it might be an advanced psychokinetic color mutation in the Kanin. I’m gonna say the names of some places. Let me know if any of them sound familiar to you. Doldastam. Iskyla. Tramsa. Kalltheim.”
She shook her head. “No, I don’t think I’ve been to any of those places.”
“That’s okay.” He gave her a reassuring smile. “I haven’t been to most of them either.”
“Are you Kanin?” she asked him.
“Partially. But my mother raised me among the humans to keep me safe. Maybe your mother or father did the same. They wanted to keep you safe?” Pan suggested.
“Maybe.”
“Do you think you can help her?” Hanna asked, her voice small and anxious.
“I will try, but I have to be honest: It’s going to be difficult working with what I have now. Even in my most problematic cases, I have some information to go on—birth dates, city of birth, names of adoptive parents or an orphanage. Something.”
Hanna’s eyes widened, and she indignantly asked, “So, you won’t do anything, even when she needs your help?”
“I didn’t say that,” he corrected her gently. “I will do my best, but I don’t know how much I can do, not without help from other sources.”
“Other sources?” I asked, but his gaze had already drifted over to Dagny.
“Like me and my boss Elof,” Dagny said.
“You told me that Elof took your blood.” Eliana shook her head emphatically. “No, no. I don’t wanna do that. I’m not bappers. I don’t want anyone stealing my life force.”
When we’d first started talking to her about Elof and a possible blood test, I had made the mistake of going through the process, thinking it would ease her fears, but at the mention of blood, she immediately became agitated. And that’s how we learned that she hated anything that sounded at all like a häxdoktor to her.
“It’s just basic science, Eliana,” I said as soothingly as I could.
“I don’t care what you call it. Stealing my blood and performing all kinds of strange magic on it doesn’t set well with me.”
“It’s not magic. All we do is look at your blood to see what it says about you,” Dagny explained, and then motioned toward me. “Ulla is fine.”
I nodded. “I had my blood drawn, and nothing bad happened to me. I’m still me, as normal and healthy as I ever was.”
“What did your blood say?” Eliana asked.
“Well, she hasn’t gotten her results back yet. It takes time, but she should hear back in a few days,” Dagny explained.
“Dagny’s boss is one of the most well-respected experts of troll biology,” Pan said, still speaking in his calm, reassuring tone. “If anyone would be able to help you, it’s him. I’m not telling you what to do or where to go. But I am saying that you seem lost, and you have some of the best resources in the world to help you navigate your way back to where you need to be.”
She stared at him, chewing her lip, and then she nodded once. “Okay.”
“Okay?” Hanna said.
“Okay, what?” Dagny pressed further.
“I’ll go with Dagny to meet her boss,” Eliana said. “I know I’ll find whoever I need to, but I can’t ignore the fact that Dagny might be how I do it.”
“Great. Excellent. I’m going to call Elof and get a time set up for you to meet him before you change your mind.” Dagny was already rushing over to the phone.
“See?” Hanna said with a relieved smile. “I told you there was nothing to worry about. They’re my friends too, and none of us would ever do anything to hurt you. We all wanna help you help yourself.”
“I should probably get going,” Pan said, getting to his feet. “I’m sure I’ve wasted enough of your time.”
I waved that off. “No, don’t be ridiculous. If anything, we’ve wasted yours.”
“Why don’t you stay for supper?” Hanna suggested. “I’ve got a goat cheese and fried green tomato casserole all ready to throw into the oven.”
“Yeah?” Pan said, looking uncertainly at Hanna and me.
“My mom only taught me recipes big enough to feed a family of ten, so I’m always making too much. There’ll be plenty for you,” Hanna assured him.
He looked at me, gauging my response. “If you’re sure it’s no trouble.”
“Stay,” I told him. “It’ll be fun.”
30
Tabled
It wasn’t until the middle of dinner, when Hanna abruptly asked Pan what his intentions were with me—causing him to nearly choke on the sangria he was drinking, and me to blush nearly the same shade of beet-red as said sangria—that I realized that I’d never brought a boy I was dating home.
Back in Iskyla, there hadn’t really been any boys worth dating, but once I’d gotten settled in with the Holmeses in Förening, I had dated some. My only semi-serious relationship had been with Callum Janssen when I was sixteen. He was a tracker-in-training, and he’d always been too nervous to come over to my house because of Finn’s reputation.
But now, with Hanna attempting to interrogate Pan, I realized that Finn had never been the biggest threat of romantic embarrassment in the household—it was always the kids.
“Hanna!” I gasped, while Dagny chuckled. “Don’t say things like that.”
&n
bsp; “Why not?” Eliana asked, looking around the table. “I don’t really understand what she was asking.”
“She was just . . .” I cleared my throat and motioned to Hanna. “Well, Hanna, since you asked it, why don’t you explain what you meant?”
“It seems like the two of you have been spending a lot of time together lately,” she said with exaggerated innocence. “I was wondering if it was normal for you to hang out with interns this much, or if there was something more going on.”
“Oh.” Eliana’s confusion only deepened. “That doesn’t sound like a bad question.”
“It isn’t,” Pan said reasonably. “Not really.” He shifted in his seat. “I haven’t really kept track of how much time I usually spend with interns. When they get here, I do make a point to show them around and help them get settled in. It can be a bit lonely when you first get here, as I’m sure all of us can attest.”
“I was too busy with my work to notice any loneliness. But I will admit that it has been more fun since Hanna and Ulla got here,” Dagny said, somewhat grudgingly.
“Your intentions are to help her get settled in, then?” Hanna pressed.
“Hanna, will you stop?” I hissed.
“What?” she asked huffily. “Eliana and I have burned through all the shows I had saved on my laptop. I’ve gotta come up with something to fill the long hours here, and I’ve decided on gossip and your extracurricular activities.”
“I don’t have a curriculum, so none of my activities are extracurricular,” I pointed out tersely.
“Technically, I think that makes them all extracurricular,” Hanna countered.
“Dagny, you’re the smartest one in the house,” I said. “Tell her she’s being ridiculous.”
“Nah.” Dagny stabbed at her food with her fork. “I’ve decided not to weigh in on any conflicts between the two of you that don’t interest me.”
“And here I thought I was missing out by not having any roommates,” Pan muttered.
“You live alone?” Dagny looked over at him, her interest now piqued. “In Merellä? How’d you swing that?”
“By having a tiny studio apartment that could fit in your living room, and it’s above a salmon-tanning shop,” Pan explained.
Dagny nodded in understanding. “Oh, yeah, that’ll do it.”
“Is it expensive here?” Hanna asked.
“Yeah, but most everyone here only stays for a short time,” Dagny said. “A thousand a week isn’t that bad if you’re only here for a week.”
“And I’ve been here for about two years, which is why I have two jobs.” Pan glanced up at the clock hanging on the wall. “Speaking of which, I hate to dine and dash, but the esteemed work of the peurojen beckons.”
“What’s a peurojen?” Eliana asked.
“He’s like sheepherder but with giant moose elk,” Hanna told her.
“Giant woolly elk,” he corrected her.
“Oh, like a geitvaktmann!” Eliana said brightly.
Hanna looked at her strangely and shrugged. “I have no idea what that is, but sure. Just like that.”
“I’ll walk you out,” I said as Pan got to his feet.
There wasn’t even the pretense of privacy in the apartment, so I followed him out to the landing and shut the door behind us.
I tucked my hair behind my ear and smiled at him. “Thanks for being so cool about all of this.”
“There’s nothing to be cool about.” He shrugged it off. “You’re just helping a lost girl, and I’m just doing my job.”
“Eliana’s nervous, but that is understandable, since she can’t remember if someone is after her or who she can trust.”
“But you trust her?” he asked, quieter now, so no one would overhear.
“Yeah, I think so,” I said, keeping my voice low to match his. “She might be wrong about some things, but I don’t think she’s lying. What about you?”
“I trust you.” His dark eyes met mine, and a flush of warmth ran through me. “And that’s enough for me right now.”
“So, you never did tell me,” I said with a coy smile. “What were you gonna do to cheer me up?”
“Nothing too exciting. Grab something to eat at a café in town. Check out the bazaar on Wapiti Way before it closes. Maybe take you to the beach to see the ocean.”
“I have been a couple miles from the ocean for nearly a week, and I haven’t gone to see it yet,” I admitted.
“We’ll have to rectify that soon.”
“I’d like that.”
“Me too.” He looked like he wanted to say something more, but he lowered his gaze and started toward the steps. “Have a good rest of your night.”
“Yeah, you too.”
Pan had only taken one step down before he paused and looked back up at me. “Stay safe.”
“You say that like you think I might not be safe.”
“Well, I meant it like I would be upset if something had happened to you.” He paused. “So. Stay safe.”
“I’ll do the best I can.”
31
Unusual
At the crack of dawn on Sunday morning, Dagny demanded that we all get up and get ready if we wanted to tag along with Eliana to meet Elof. Although, to be fair, Hanna was more of an emotional-support buddy than a superfluous escort. I didn’t exactly need to be there either, but with Hanna going, I felt like I had to accompany them to make sure everything went smoothly.
“It’s so quiet,” Hanna whispered as we walked down the long, open corridors of the Mimirin. None of us had worn shoes, so we breezed right past the lockers.
“On the weekends during the summer, they really try to discourage any unnecessary work around here,” Dagny said. “It’s the only time they can make repairs and clean things up.”
Eliana paused and pointed to the plastic sheeting draped over an archway. Scaffolding and cans of paint poked out from under the corner. “What’s back there?”
“That’s the main library. There’s a lot of original artwork and stained glass that they’re restoring.”
Apparently unsatisfied with Dagny’s explanation, Eliana broke away from us and peered into the work zone. Hanna followed suit—dashing after her—so I went over to take a look myself. Other than the construction equipment—lots of paint cans, drop cloths, and various masonry tools that I didn’t recognize—the room was empty. A massive antique bronze chandelier had been lowered from the ceiling and rested in the center of the half-torn-up marble floor tiles.
There were a few built-in bookcases on the far wall, stone shelving with carved endcaps. The rest of the walls were wide open, leaving plenty of space for the beautifully detailed murals of troll history. In the farthest corner our oldest histories and legends were depicted, from building the First City together beside a waterfall to the Viking ships on angry ocean waters, with our ancestors stowed away in the bellies of the ships as they fled persecution in Scandinavia.
As the mural story continued, the dark blue of the water gave way to the stark frozen wasteland of the original North American settlements, and eventually the green grass of summer and prosperity as the tribes began to spread out over the land.
“Isn’t a library basically a book atrium?” Eliana questioned.
“Yeah . . . basically,” Hanna replied. When I looked at her, she shrugged and muttered, “I assume that it’s exactly what it sounds like.”
“Where are all the books, then?”
“I don’t know for sure, but they store them somewhere safe, maybe in the catacombs,” Dagny replied.
“Where are all the workers?” Eliana pressed.
“It’s too early. They haven’t started for the day yet. Now come on,” Dagny commanded. “Elof is waiting for us. We should go.”
We made it up to the third floor, where the Department of Troglecology and Elof’s lab were located, without any further diversions, which really was saying something. Eliana got distracted by nearly everything she saw, asking a million questions that Dagny a
nswered as quickly and succinctly as she could, but Hanna managed to keep her moving forward, no matter what.
When we finally made it to Elof’s lab, he was already there, sitting at an island and looking over paperwork that was spread out before him. He didn’t look up right away, so Dagny announced our presence with a bright, “Good morning, Elof. Thank you for fitting us in.”
“It is a good morning indeed, Dagny,” he said, outmatching her with his own loud cheer. “But it is I who must thank you for bringing this all to my attention. You know how fascinating I find psychokinetic deviations.”
“This is Eliana.” She motioned to Eliana, who finally stepped out from where she was glued to Hanna’s side.
“It’s so good to meet you, sir,” Eliana said with a dramatically low curtsy.
“It’s very kind of you to show me such deference, but I must tell you that I am not royalty and I do not require such displays,” he explained to her.
“Oh, sorry.” Eliana laughed—her normally airy laugh sounding now tight and fragile. “I assumed based on how Dagny talked about you.”
“You mistake respect for mandatory worship,” Dagny said dryly, and she headed back to start gathering the blood-draw equipment.
Elof smirked, then turned his gaze to me. “Ulla, I didn’t expect to see you again so soon.”
“Have you heard anything yet?” I asked hopefully.
He shook his head. “Not yet, but I promise you that I’ll have Dagny alert you the second I hear something.”
“So . . .” Eliana walked slowly around the island, her fingers trailing on the smooth gray quartz countertops as she admired the high ceiling far above us. “You’re not royalty. Does that mean you’re just an ordinary troll?”
“I was once a Markis, but I gave up that title a long time ago,” Elof admitted.
Eliana paused and furrowed her brow. “What’s a Markis?”
“A Markis or Marksinna is sort of like a Duke or Duchess,” he said, and she shook her head. “They are royalty, as you said, and here that means that they usually get more money and respect than the rest of us.”
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