Without thinking, I give him a shove and he stumbles back. “What do you want from me, Lucas? Am I supposed to wait around until you decide who you want to hook up with on any given night? Look, I know we’re just fuck buddies and I should be thrilled that the Lucas Knight wants more than a one-nighter, but I need to know if what I feel is worth my time and effort. If not, then I need to move on.”
My heart’s pounding when he takes a few tentative steps towards me. I’m mesmerized as I watch his throat bob with a hard swallow. Is he just as nervous as I feel? His large hands glide up my arms and when he frames my face, I can feel his rough fingertips. Too many sensations assault me all at once, and I’m breathless when he leans in and kisses me with a ferocity that screams “Mine.” I kiss him back with enough conviction so no words need to be spoken. He groans as his tongue parts my lips and I allow him full access. His hunger matches my own when his hands slide into my hair, holding me in place.
Both of us are gasping for air when he finally breaks the kiss. It felt like he was staking his claim, but it’s suddenly ripped away as I think of him leaving for months at a time. Is this the kind of relationship I want? Always wondering if he’s cheating on me while he’s on the road? Especially after I’ve given him my heart just for him to tear it right out?
Lucas looks so serious when his forehead touches mine. “There’s so much we need to talk about that has nothing to do with music or the record deal, and I’m sorry I waited so long. I hope it’s not too late. If it’s not, pick me. Please, choose me like I’m choosing you. I want you and me to be exclusive. A real relationship where I can call you mine. I know it’s a lot to ask since things will get crazier from here on out, but there’s no one else I want by my side other than you. Only you. If you’ll have me, I want to be your man.”
A chuckle against my lips pulls me out of my stupor. His laughing eyes meet my furrowed brow and he claims, “Your wheels are turning, baby. Whatever you’ve got going on in that pretty brain of yours, shut it down. You’re all the woman I can handle and I’m hoping you feel the same. I get it must be hard to understand why I did a three-sixty. Hell, sometimes I wonder myself, but you’re the only one I think about when I’m roaming around my empty loft. My nights are cold, Abby, and you’re the only one I want warming my bed. God knows you’re the only one thawing my heart.”
Well, damn if I don’t burst out into a full-on sob. I didn’t expect those three little words, that’s not his style, and I’m okay with that. For now. Just the fact that he’s willing to be exclusive is enough right now. I want to pinch myself to see if this is a dream. “Lucas…”
“Shh,” he presses his fingers to my trembling lips. “All I ask is that you give it some serious thought. You don’t need to give me your answer right away, but it would be nice to know before I leave. Now, should we go to that damn party or should I fuck you senseless?”
Envy
“There is but one man who can believe himself free from Envy;
and it is he who has never examined his own heart.”
Claude Adrien Helvetius
26
Lucas
Abby and I went to the party last night. She was quick to point out that as much as she wanted me to fuck her, we could do that after the party. And that’s exactly what we did. Until the wee hours of the morning. I don’t know why it took me so long to realize that this woman’s my soulmate. Yeah I went there, since it’s nice waking up to a warm body wrapped around me, especially when that body belongs to Abby. Damn if I couldn’t get used to this. I’m hoping she feels the same.
Leaning with my head in my palm, I just watch her sleep. She’s a dark-haired beauty with high cheekbones who hides behind baggy clothes and minimal makeup. Not that she needs any since she’s a natural. A goddess. And she has no fucking clue. I’m hoping that as time goes on, she opens up about the reason why she doesn’t wear the slutty stuff all the girls wear. Not that it matters since she’s perfect just the way she is.
“It’s kinda creepy with you staring at me, Lucas. Just saying.” I can’t help but laugh as I pull her in. Busted.
“I’m learning to appreciate the beauty that surrounds me, and today that’s you.” She shudders when I kiss her crown and hold her tight. “Fuck! I never asked what time you need to be at work!”
Peeking up through her thick lashes, she murmurs, “I’m off for two days, and at the end of the month I’ll be jobless.”
I swipe the tears she doesn’t realize are falling. Jobless? What the fuck is that supposed to mean? “Are you quitting the shop, Abby? I mean that’s great if you have another job, but you really…”
“Adam’s selling Java Joe’s, and the new owners take over at the start of next month. I’ve been applying online to other places, but they don’t pay for shit. I have no idea what I’m going to do and how I’m going to pay my bills. I’m so damn angry and yet my parents don’t think he did anything wrong. They defend him, saying things like ‘That’s his job, Abby’. Yeah, I get it, but he could have told his employees that it was coming.”
I suddenly get an idea, one of the best ideas I’ve ever had. “I don’t know why I didn’t think of this earlier, but you can work for the band! Oh my god, baby, you can go on the road with us and I can see you every day. It’s perfect, really. You need a job and we need a business agent. Say yes, Abby!”
That brow scrunches up one more time, and when she looks at me like I’m crazy, I start believing I am. “Ah, too soon in the relationship, ya think?”
“No, that’s not it. I truly appreciate the offer, but I can’t accept it. You need someone with experience and it’s not me. Yes, I have a degree, but I’ve never worked in the field and wouldn’t know where to begin.” My beautiful girl has no confidence at all.
“We need someone to crunch the numbers, baby. You told me that’s part of your job at the shop, so you got this. Beside, I’m sure you’d love Quinn, she’s our booking agent, and I bet she’d love to have another girl around. It would balance things out perfectly. Three guys and three girls.” Something lurks beneath her skin. It’s written all over her face. I’ve often wondered why she never perused a career in her field, but clearly she’s afraid for whatever reason. “What are you so afraid of, Abby?”
“All my life, they’ve bullied me. Not skinny enough or pretty enough or whatever. I never fit in, and I don’t have the confidence to be in charge of something so huge.”
“Bullies are people with no self-esteem. They hate themselves, so they take it out on the ones who have everything they don’t. They feed off your fear and low self-esteem. I’m sorry they did that to you, but what you don’t realize is how strong, independent, and perfect you are. Why do you think I’m drawn to you? Well, your gorgeous body might be what attracted me at first, but after all the orgasms were over, it was your positive attitude and smarts that kept me coming back for more. Did you ever stop to think all those bullies might have done you a solid?” Her snort stops me in my tracks.
“Lucas, are you being serious right now? I’m a weak woman who chased after my crush. I used my body as a weapon, since I thought that was the only way I could connect with you. I appreciate you trying to build me up and put me on that pedestal, but I’m not as strong as you’d like to believe. I’m falling apart at the thought of not having a secure job and losing everything I worked for.”
“I won’t let you lose anything, Abby. Not on my watch. Come to the studio with us on Monday, meet Quinn, and get a feel for the entire process. Hell, we’ll all be learning together since I have no idea how everything is going to play out. I want you there and I know you’d be a significant addition to the team. Say yes, baby.”
“What if I fall flat on my face?”
I roll on top of her, pressing in between her thighs. Her gaze is hungry and I sure could eat right now, but I want to drive my point home before I lose all train of thought. “What if you don’t? What if this is your element and you’re great at it? Give it a go. You have nothi
ng to lose and everything to gain.”
“Okay. I’ll go with you on Monday and see what happens, but I’m not making any promises.” I seal the deal with a toe-curling kiss, but she has no idea she just sold her soul to the devil.
***
Abby
Lucas had some errands to run after giving me several explosive orgasms. I haven’t been able to stop smiling since he left, and truth be told my jaw is sore. So worth it. For the first time in a long time, I’m happy. Job or not, Lucas is all in and that’s enough for me to get through all the other bullshit.
After showering, I scrutinize my body in the floor-length mirror that I normally avoid at all costs. All I can see is thick thighs and cellulite staring back at me, and if it weren’t for all the dirty words Lucas whispered in my ear last night, I’d be in tears. Obviously, he sees me in a very different light than I see myself. But it gives me a bit of hope that maybe someday I’ll see myself through his eyes and everything will be fine.
Throwing on a pair of comfy yoga pants and an old concert tee, I grab my phone. Guilt slices me to my core when I see several missed messages from Joel. He truly is a great guy, and I had no right leading him on the way I did. He deserves a girl who looks at him the same way I look at Lucas. Like he can walk on water. I’m reluctantly about to call him back when the doorbell rings. Saved by the bell.
As I open the door, I realize I won’t need to call him since he’s standing right in front of me.
“I hope you don’t mind me popping in, but I couldn’t stop thinking about you. Are you okay?” Yep, he’s going to make someone so happy one day.
“I’m doing great. How about you?” I feel obligated to invite him in, so I make a gesture with my hand. I’m no good at this shit since guys usually dump me before I can dump them. Before I finish that thought he leans in for a quick kiss.
“I’m okay,” he says. “Look, I know we’re just starting to get to know one another, but I thought we connected and I’d love to see you again.”
“I like spending time with you. You’re a great guy…”
“I sense a ‘but’ coming on. If I had to take a wild guess, I’d say I’m too late to the party.”
“I’m sorry, Joel. Lucas and I have a history. I thought it was over, but I was wrong. You’re a great guy and I had loads of fun. I’m not sorry that we had this time together, but I’m sorry if I led you on since that was not my intention at all.” I sound like I’m making excuses, but it's true.
“I appreciate your honesty, Abby. I’m not going to lie, I could kick myself in the ass for not asking you out back in college. You see, I had the biggest crush on you, but I was too afraid you’d shut me down.” He laughs, and it’s music to my ears. As selfish as it sounds, it was worth those few dates just knowing he liked me. My god, maybe my life would have turned out so differently if he had.
“I wish you did because my answer would have been a resounding yes. If it’s not too weird, could we still keep in touch? Unless you think things would be awkward since we just connected.” Wow, that sounds lame out loud.
“I’d like that, Abby. Now that we reconnected, I’d hate to lose touch again. I was actually heading to Barry’s, and since it was on my way, I thought I’d stop by. I hope everything works out with Lucas. If not, I’d like to pick up where we left off. Sounds like things are going to be crazy for the two of you with his new venture.”
“You don’t know the half of it, but I can tell you all about it sometime if you’d like. Take care, Joel, and thanks for being you.”
“Bye, Abby, and take care of yourself.” Joel pulls me in for a quick hug before striding out the door. I’m not sure if promising to keep in touch is a good idea, but I really didn’t know what else to say. Surely Lucas won’t mind.
Curling up on the sofa with a steaming mug of coffee, I contemplate what my future will bring. Can I be the business manager that Lucas wants me to be? Not sure, but I’ll never know if I don’t try. Lucas told me if I took the job and decided it wasn’t for me, I could just walk away. No contract unless I decide it’s what I want to do, and he promised he wouldn’t pressure me. I’m so glad he erased the doubt that my crazy mind loves to cling to.
He promised to stop by once he was finished with his lawyer. Apparently, he’s going over the contract before they all sign and that’s a smart move. It’s so easy to get blindsided when your dream is happening to disregard the most important things. I cross my fingers and toes that everything is negotiable, and it all works out for them. It’s a huge deal and since they’ve worked so hard I’d love to see it happen.
While I’m waiting for Lucas, I pull out my dust rag and vacuum. I have too much energy after my coffee and Joel’s visit. I can’t keep still. Besides, I’m not used to having two days off in a row and I want to keep busy. Otherwise my mind wanders to uncharted territory and it’s not pretty. Self-doubt and low self-esteem have always niggled the back of my mind.
I pop in my earbuds so I can start streaming my music app. It gives me the incentive I need to get this done!
I’m belting out a song at the top of my lungs when powerful hands grab my hips. I whip around so fast, I get dizzy just to look into Lucas’s deep brown eyes. Elation greets me and his sexy grin warms me from head to toe. “You scared the shit out of me.” I give him a playful shove only to get tackled and land flat on my back. Thank god I hit the couch, but only for a beat before Lucas lands on top of me.
I moan when his lips caress the sensitive part of my neck. He’s whispering words that I can’t hear since Halsey’s screaming in my ears. I’m desperate to hear what he’s saying, so I yank my earbuds out and place them on the coffee table.
“I didn’t hear a word you said, Lucas. What did you say?”
“That you’re gorgeous and I don’t know why I waited so damn long to make you mine. Oh, and we signed the contract.” His smile lights up the room, and mine is kinda bright too.
“I’m so happy for you, Lucas. Only good things from here on out!” He nods and dips low for a sizzling kiss. The kind that leaves me wet and needy for him to be inside of me.
“I know what you want, sweet girl, but that will need to wait until later. Now, we’re going to Bistro to meet Quinn and the band. I told them I offered you the position as our business manager, so they want to meet you.” Going to Bistro is going to be so awkward just knowing Joel’s the owner.
“This is the exact reason I avoided applying for a business position. I don’t interview well. If I mess up, they’ll be angry with you.” He hushes me when his finger presses against my lips. I try speaking, but he shakes his head.
“It’s not a damn interview, baby. Just a meet and greet, dinner, and a few drinks. That’s it. Period. The guys know I wouldn’t recommend someone who isn’t qualified. Sit back, relax, and enjoy. That’s all we’re going to do.”
27
Lucas
Abby’s a natural. I don’t know why she was worried about being a good fit. Everyone loved her and we had a great night just talking and planning. Quinn is amazing at what she does and we’re all so psyched to get this started. And I’m going to show her tonight what a great fit she is when I slide my hard cock into her tight pussy. Thank god we’re almost home since my cock is throbbing in my jeans.
“I had a great time tonight,” she says. “I think I can do this.” She glances over as I slip my hand in hers. One hand on the wheel as I guide us home. Cold Play is playing on the radio and it gives me hope that one day soon that will be me.
“Confidence looks good on you, baby. Just wait and see. You’re going to kick ass and I’m glad I have you on my side.” I bring her hand to my lips and plant a gentle kiss. She shivers at my touch and I’m so glad I’m pulling into her driveway, ‘cause I’m going to be balls-deep inside this woman in a hot second.
Abby is very independent, so she doesn’t wait for me to open the door for her. I’m not offended, but I want her to know that it gives me pleasure to do those things for her. Sh
e links her fingers through mine and we walk up the walkway. Little does she know, the moment she opens that door, I’m going to pin her up against the wall.
“I hope you remember the promise you made me earlier today.” In a flash, I kick the door closed, grab her wrists, and push her against the wall.
“Oh, I didn’t forget, baby. I’m going to fuck you every which way to Sunday, so I hope you’re up for it.” She moans when my mouth crashes against hers. Carnal and needy, I take what’s mine. Our tongues tangle and crash as my hands grip her plump ass. She jumps and wraps her legs around me. Her core grinds into my hard cock. Pleasure zings through every part of my body. This girl is the match and I’m the fucking fire. Why I waited so long, I’ll never know, but I’m here and I’m going to make up for lost time.
“Argh, I need you inside me now. Please, don’t make me beg!” she screams. She’s so damn hot when she begs.
Since my hands are busy holding her ass, her nimble fingers make quick haste with my jeans. Before I know it, they’re sliding to the floor along with my boxers. Either she’s very talented or my kisses strip her bare of all inhibitions. These are the times I wish she was wearing a dress with no panties like in the movies, but unfortunately not today. She strokes my throbbing cock in her small hands, while I nimbly strip her from the waist down. Easy peasy, since my naughty girl wasn’t wearing any underwear.
After sheathing my cock with a condom I struggled to get out of my wallet, I once again grab her sweet ass and slide into her wet heat while her legs wrap around my waist. Her feet grip my ass hard, setting the pace she wants. Fuck, this woman will be the death of me, but what a way to go.
“Harder. Fuck me harder.” Is there any other way?
“You want me buried deep inside your wet pussy, don’t you sweet girl. Can you feel how hard you make me, Abby? I’m so fucking hard that it hurts. After you come all over my thick shaft, I’m going to lie you down on your bed and make you beg me to stop. All. Night. Long.” Her tight grip and pulsing core tells me she’s more than ready. And when she’s done, I’m going to let her milk my cock dry. One day, I’m going to fill her sweet pussy with my seed. “That’s it, baby. Come all over my hard cock. Then the countdown begins.”
Lucas: A Rockstar Romance (The Sinful Seven Series Book 1) Page 16