“At least the swelling has gone down. How’s it feel?” I place a tender kiss on his knuckles while he mulls it over.
“Better than yesterday, but sore as hell. I know it was an idiot move on my part, but I wasn’t thinking. I was angry that she had the balls to bring up something so personal at the party. All I could see is red.” I’m afraid to speak for fear he’ll shut down. “I keep wondering what would happen if I talked to Caleb, since there was a clause in the contract about no relatives…”
“You’re feeling guilty and that’s understandable, but think of the repercussions that would come from this. If Caleb decided to shelf the album and break the contract, it would hurt everyone involved. Not just you. I’ll stand behind whatever you do, but just give it some serious thought before making your decision.” Sighing, he flips me on my back and hovers over my body. Instinct has me running my fingers through his bed head. So damn hot!
I’d love to read his thoughts right about now. It’s almost like I can see the wheels turning and I don’t know what to say, so I’m silent. It’s for the best. I can’t pump him for information if he doesn’t want to talk.
We’re pulled out of the moment when his phone vibrates on the nightstand. He hesitates but then grabs it. Holding the phone so we can both see the screen, I notice it’s his dad. Lucas has never spoken to me about his family. At all. In fact, I often wondered if Landon told him what happened at his apartment that time. Probably not. I have my answer when he throws the phone on the other end of the bed and drops his head to my chest. I feel the weight of the world on his shoulders. I can’t stay silent any longer.
“I’m going out on a limb here, but I think it’s safe to say you were never close to your family.” He jumps off the bed and begins pacing. I miss the heat of him and regret voicing my fears.
“My dad and I were really close. In fact, he’s the one who pushed the guitar into my hands when I was eight. I knew he wanted me to be a musician, but I never really understood the reasoning behind it. It didn’t matter, because I loved it immediately and pursued it with a vengeance. I started writing songs at eleven and they sucked, but it paved the way. By thirteen, I was pretty good at it and he knew it. Want to hear something funny?”
“Absolutely. Especially if you can find some humor in this situation, I’m all ears.” A ghost of a smile shadows his lips, and it’s contagious.
“My father is co-owner of a recording company. Davis Records. It’s based in South Carolina and not as high-profile.”
What? I’m shocked that he never offered his son a contract of his own.
“I can see what’s going on in that pretty head of yours, baby. He offered a million times, and I turned him down every single time. I wanted to earn that damn contract, and that’s one reason I’m so fucking pissed. I feel like it was a setup and I fell into it.” Devastation is written all over his face. In a flash, I’m standing in front of him.
“None of the judges know Arisha’s your mom, Lucas. She even told you the vote was unanimous. You earned it, so get it out of your head that it’s nepotism. Your social media speaks for itself, your fans love you! In fact, you could have recorded your own albums if you wanted to. You have an enormous following.”
“Yeah, with all the online programs we could have, but I felt like that was cheating. I wanted to sign that damn contract, but look how good that turned out.”
“You got that damn contract on your own terms and even fought Caleb to help Trevor and his mom. You should be proud of yourself. You’re a good man, Lucas.” His lips capture mine in a gentle, sweet kiss.
“Months ago, music and sex were my only focus. Now you’re my motivation, Abby. You make me want to be a better man. In fact, I don’t need this anymore.” He struts over to his desk, opens the middle drawer, and throws a little black book in the garbage. It lands with a plop.
“Is this my cue to thank you for throwing out your little black book?” I say. “In all seriousness, I have you to thank for my new career. If not for you, I would have folded like a cheap lawn chair. Never feeling worthy of the position you so painstakingly knew I could do. Come here, baby. Thank you for giving me all the confidence I needed.”
Pride
“It’s impossible,” said Pride.
“It’s risky,” said experience.
“It’s pointless,” said reason.
“Give it a try,” whispered the heart.
Unknown
31
Lucas
After talking things out with Abby last night, I decided to meet up with my dad and Arisha today. They weren’t happy that I’m doing it with the both of them at the same time, but I don’t care. If we’re going to do this, I want it on my own terms. I’m the one who’s been kept in the dark for over twenty-three years and I want answers. There are always two sides to every story, and having them in the same room will keep them accountable. No more damn lies!
In my crazy twisted way, I love my dad. Hell yeah I’m angry, but if not for him I wouldn’t be doing what I love. So I’ll listen to each of their sides of the story and then decide what happens next. Depending on what kind of role my dad played in all of this will determine whether I want to continue our relationship or cut him out of my life. As far as Arisha, I’ve only agreed to this meeting because Caleb was furious over what happened the other night. For the band’s sake, I’m trying to keep the peace.
We’re meeting up at the Bistro once again and I’m reluctant since I’ve been having a hard time keeping my temper in check. Dad assured me we’d sit outside where I could bust out anytime I needed to. I guess he’s trying, so it’s only fair I do the same. I really wanted Abby to come with, but she declined. It’s for the best, but I have her on speed dial just in case I need her.
Twenty minutes later, I’m pulling into the parking lot and I notice my dad’s Porsche is already here. Well, let’s get the show on the road. “Reservation for Knight.”
“Perfect. Follow me,” says the hostess. I do, with trembling legs and a knot in the pit of my stomach. When I see both of them sitting there, I just want to make a full U-turn and walk right back out. Just like when I step on stage until the crowd cheers, but there’s no one here to cheer me on today.
“Lucas, thanks so much for coming.” Dad stands and holds out his hand. Yeah, not a huggy-feely kind of guy. Arisha wears a cautious smile, as she should. I hope she’s not expecting an apology because that will never happen. I take his hand in mine and give it a firm shake. “Have a seat, son. What would you like to drink?” He waves at the server and she rushes over.
“I’ll have a beer. Whatever’s on tap, thanks.” I need all the liquid courage I can get. It’s going to be a long-ass lunch.
Clearly, no one wants to start the conversation, so, being the ballsy guy I am, I do. “I recall you mentioning that my birth mom was a bar singer, why’d ya lie?”
“He didn’t lie, Lucas,” Arisha says, eyeing my dad. “I was very young when I started out. In fact, I was too young to be in those sleazy clubs, but I had a fake ID like everyone else in the city. When we met, I had stars in my eyes and he was a recording guru who could further my career.” I can’t help noticing the insulted look on my father’s face. Hmm, truth is hard to swallow, even after all these years.
“So, you slept with the boss man and I just so happened to be the catastrophic mistake to further your career.” Wow, if I hated her before, I hate her even more now.
“You were never a mistake, Lucas. I think you should address these questions to your father instead of berating me.” Ah, I knew it was a matter of time before the waterworks started.
“Arisha’s right, Lucas. If you need someone to blame, that would be me. I was so angry that she didn’t reciprocate my feelings that when I found out she was pregnant, I made her sign an NDA giving up all of her parental rights. She was desperate to keep you, but had no financial means to hire a lawyer to fight me. It’s a mistake I live with every day. So, if you’re going to be angry, then ai
m it at me.”
Well, I guess I had this all wrong from the get-go. I should have known that he would manipulate someone who was weaker than him.
“Let me ask, what did you hope to accomplish by having this little chat today? That all three of us would kiss and make up?” I’m fuming, but since I’m only doing this once, I want to hang tight and get it over with.
“I can’t speak for your father,” Arisha says, “but I want to get to know you. The man, not the musician. I realize that’s asking a lot, but now that everything’s out in the open, there’s no reason to continue with the facade. I have no intention of telling the world I’m your birth mother if that’s what you’re afraid of, but I’d love to be your friend.”
A friend. How fucked up is that. Only weeks ago she was a stranger, a singer on the radio. A damn good one, but someone so untouchable I never thought after the audition I’d ever see her again. I should have known something was up when she started hanging out at the studio.
My head swings over to my dad, who is giving me the evil eye. “And what do you hope to accomplish today? Forgiveness? You’re a smart man so I hope you know that will never happen.”
“I don’t expect your forgiveness, son, but I was hoping you’d understand why I did what I did. If your mother—sorry, Mrs. Knight—thought Arisha was a threat, she would have made our lives miserable. Best-case scenario was for me to raise you and have Arisha step away. I knew she’d have an amazing career and be a star. I didn’t think of the long-term repercussions or I never would have done what I did. I apologize to the both of you for being such an asshole and keeping you apart all these years. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ll let the two of you catch up. Lunch is on me.”
I’m not sure if he thought I’d stop him, but I don’t. Maybe he’s doing me a solid by walking away and letting me get to know my new friend.
***
Abby
While Lucas is having lunch with Arisha and his dad, I take the time to get my apartment and life in order. Now that we’ll be on the road for months at a time, Lucas thought it would be best if I didn’t renew my lease. I’m elated he asked me to move in with him, but afraid, too. I’m hoping that being together every waking moment won’t put a wedge between us. I know I’ll never get sick of him, and I hope he feels the same.
Thank god it’s a furnished apartment, so I don’t have to worry about any of the bulky pieces. The only piece of furniture I brought with me is my sleigh bed and mattress. Whatever I’m keeping needs to go into a storage unit, and my personal stuff will be brought to the loft. I still have to pack up my dishes and all of my small kitchen appliances. Lucas promised he’d help me sort things out when he was finished with lunch.
I’m easily distracted, so when I come across a box of pictures I found on the top shelf of my closet, I can’t help but rummage through it. Sitting on the edge of my bed, I flip through the old photographs. It’s bittersweet when I come across the ones of Adam and me when we were younger. Who knew way back then he’d be a snake in the grass and pull the rug out from underneath me? I love working with Lucas and my confidence has grown a thousandfold, but I really loved being a barista. There’s something truly gratifying about creating art in a cup of coffee. It lights up the customers’ faces and puts a smile on many a grumpy lip first thing in the morning. I’d like to think my artwork might have been the little something they needed to brighten up their craptastic morning. I suppose I could sit here all day and procrastinate, but that won’t be productive.
Another thing I need to do amidst everything else is pack for the tour. I have no idea what I should bring, and when I asked Lucas, his answer was “everything”. Ugh, so not helpful. I get that no matter where we go, the weather will be different, and if he only knew how many clothes I have, he’d pitch a fit. Not that I wear them much. Come to think of it, maybe I should make a trip and drop things off to charity. They have tons of bins scattered about and someone else might get more use out of them than me. Something to think about.
My stomach rumbles, so I decide to take a break. All I had was a yogurt with my coffee this morning, so I’m running on empty. I’m disappointed when I look in the fridge and nothing tempts me. A glance in the freezer is even more disappointing. The cupboard has potential, so I open a can of soup, grab a bowl, and stick it in the microwave. Beggars can’t be choosers. And the smell is enticing even if it will taste like shit.
The soup wasn’t too bad, and it filled the space in my stomach for now, so there’s that. With a renewed strength, I tackle the kitchen. I have a few boxes with inserts so it will be easy to get that over with before Lucas shows up.
I soon find a rhythm, and hours later the kitchen is packed and ready to go. Now I either wait for the man who was supposed to be here hours ago or I do it myself. I’m not angry, I know he has tons of baggage to work through, so I grab a box and head downstairs. Only to discover that I let him borrow my car! How the hell did I forget about this little tidbit of information? Well, I guess I have no choice but to wait.
Something soft and feathery pulls me from a deep sleep. I try swatting it away so I can roll over and go back to sleep, but it’s heavy and won’t budge. Dammit. My eyes flutter open against my better judgement, but I sigh when I realize Lucas is kissing me awake. Mm, better than any dream I can think of.
“Sorry I’m late, baby. Lunch turned out better than I thought, and Arisha and I did some catching up. In fact, I apologized and she called Caleb to smooth things over. Looks like you were a busy bee while I was gone. Are you hungry? We can go grab a bite or call for takeout.” Of course, my tummy chooses that time to grumble, and he laughs. “Worked up an appetite, I see. Pizza with the works sounds like a plan. Maybe I’ll serve you in bed since you’re so tired.” He waggles his brows and I can’t help laughing. He’s too damn sexy for his own good.
“That sounds amazing, but if you serve me in bed, we won’t eat and I’m starving. Besides, tonight it’s my turn to pick out a movie, since you chose that stupid war thingy last time.” We always do a movie when we get pizza. It’s a Lucas thing, just go with it.
“How about we start with dessert and eat pizza later?” He’s smiling, and I must admit, it looks great on him. I haven’t seen him like this since I first met him. I’m desperate to ask how lunch went, but as much as it’s going to kill me I’ll wait until he brings it up. “I won’t watch one of those stupid chick flicks. Unless you watch the movie while I have dessert.” In a flash, he tackles me and his strong body pins me in place.
“Have I mentioned that you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, Abby? If I didn’t, then I’m telling you now. Thanks for taking a chance on me, baby. Not only in your career, but in your personal life, too. You’re giving up so much for me and I just want you to know I love you for that.”
What? Did he just tell me he loved me? It didn’t happen like in the chick flick movies he hates watching, but I’ll take it. I can’t quiet down my heart as it beats out of my chest. He’s so serious that I can’t even right now. I try stopping the tears that threaten to fall, but I can’t hold them back. This man is my everything!
32
Lucas
I’m not naïve in assuming that being on the road for the next three months is going to be easy, but having Abby by my side will make things so much more bearable. This woman has me wrapped around her little finger. I never thought in a million years that I’d devote all of my time and attention to just one woman, but then again I’ve met no one of her caliber.
Loving.
Compassionate.
Honest to a fault.
Supportive.
I’m so grateful that she came into my life and saved me from myself. I never admitted it to anyone, but I was on a downward spiral of sex, booze, and rock ‘n roll. Just like so many artists before me. It would have been the death of me and my career. Like two trains on the same rail, heading in the same direction.
Tonight, we’re playing at Griffin Stadium to a
sold-out crowd. The kicker is Laid Bare is our opening act and we’re the headliner! How fucking cool is that? I swear we stood outside the venue in the wee hours of the morning just to look at the flashing billboard in all its neon glory: The Sinful Seven, March 18, 2021. SOLD OUT. Surreal doesn’t even come close to how I’m feeling. All six of us, standing there while the sun rose brilliantly behind us. I wasn’t the only one who swiped away a tear or two before we all cracked up laughing, releasing the nervous tension that’s been festering for a few weeks. I consider everyone here my family, including Quinn. And from what I can see, she has the hots for Jet, but as always he’s guarded and keeps her at arm’s length. It’s just his persona since he’s had such a tough life.
I remember walking by this venue a thousand times when I was just a starry-eyed kid with tons of dreams. Hoping I’d be good enough to walk on that stage and share my love for music with everyone. Well, tonight’s the night and I’m proud of myself. I didn’t let anyone or anything stand in my way.
“Breakfast is on me,” Quinn says. “It might be the only meal we eat today, so let’s go.” Who am I to refuse a free meal? If Quinn’s buying, I’m hella there.
Nothing beats three rockers and three gorgeous women walking into a coffee shop at the butt crack of dawn. The look on the waitress’s face says it all. She looks a little peeved that she has a table of six so early in the morning, and that makes me smile.
“Grab a seat and I’ll be right over.” Okay, Little Miss Sunshine. Even though there’s just a handful of people this early in the morning, we choose a corner table. Out of earshot and enough privacy so we can’t be heard.
Once Sunshine takes all of our drink orders, all coffees of course, my little barista becomes antsy. Oh, I bet she’d love to go behind that counter and whip up a few lattes with her signature designs. I make a mental note so I can get her a machine once the tour’s over. She can make me one every damn day of the week for the rest of our lives.
Lucas: A Rockstar Romance (The Sinful Seven Series Book 1) Page 19