“An if you had to give this new friend of yours a name what would you call him?” I pondered for a split second then it came to me.
“Antimundo!”
“Why that name?”
“Because in Spanish it means 'opposing the world.'”
“Is Antimundo in you right now?”
“More and more each day.”
“Doesn't this frighten you?”
“It scares the crap out of me.”
I fought hard in the gym to disavow this deplorable persona and his impulses. With the guidance of Doctor Ramljak and the support of Sofia and my family, I tried to settle into a productive routine of work and home life. My role as father to Cristiano strengthened my desire not to return to ugly complexities. There were moments when I was all too willing to drop my personal inquiries, continue on the road of therapy and enjoy the fruits this second chance at life was offering. Ah, but the chaotic ride Death had designed for me was not over by a long shot for the court cases had finally come to call upon me. They needed my testimony; I also knew there were some in the executive offices that were worried about what I might say. It was now time to prepare with the aid of the airline's legal department.
Corporate economics were at stake and the wrong word or phrase from Edmundo could cost the airline hundreds of thousands of dollars. It was no longer a question of fault as the Mexican Government had pulled the strings. The U.S. Government had looked the other way and the airline danced its jig of submission. The only thing that remained was to try and lessen the blow. How much of a payoff? The crash of Flight 2605 came down to an intricate game of chess, and the company's lawyers were considered the best at their craft,
Dennis McDonald was a sly corporate attorney with the airline. He would join with Andrew Jawkins whose primary employer was the insurance company holding the policy on DC-10 NW903. Yet from the beginning of our union I was nagged by ill feelings.
“If we are on the same team, why do I mistrust McDonald so much?” I was unsure of how much information he believed I knew. The only people in the company I had leveled with were Barry Lane and Jack McKay. I wished to believe that neither of these men of good character would have sat down with McDonald to warn him that I may be problematic.
Upon arriving at the executive offices McDonald seemed very at ease as we sat face to face.
“Well, Edmundo, perhaps we can finish this up in ten or twenty minutes,” the artful McDonald stated as he gazed at his watch.
“First, I would like to ask you a few questions,” I requested of the attorney.
“Certainly,”
“Was it really pilot error?” My inquiry was expressed with innocence. A small request from a simple minded F/A. My host readjusted his posture.
“Well Ed from all indications and the official investigation it will probably end up that way.” The anger swelled. Sure, I understood the bullshit of the business but that knowledge did not make his words any more palatable. I continued my probe to see the quality of the man who would ultimately represent me in court.
“I understand that the lights on the closed runway 23-Left were lit when we approached for landing. Did this lead Carl into believing he was on the correct runway?” McDonald remained calm in his attempt to explain and pacify my concerns.
“Well, there is no evidence whatsoever that would support that theory.”
“I heard that there was a problem between Captain Herbert and First Officer Reimann, any truth to that rumor?” The crafty member of the bar looked me squarely in the face and did not bat an eye.
“No, Ed! There is no evidence whatsoever suggesting that type of problem existed that night." His words seemed more like a lecture than an informative statement.
“Oh yes there was and I was witness to it in the cockpit.” I hit the airline's counselor right in the face with the bomb he did not want to hear. He remained silent for awhile then reached for the phone to make a call. We sat just staring at each other for the longest period of time until we were joined by Andrew Jawkins. The ultimate professional, Jawkins had handled several such cases in the past. The most recent being the horrible tragedy of the American Airlines DC-10 in Chicago where the left engine fell off the wing during take off. Everyone was instantly incinerated when the massive aircraft fell to the ground. With the two legal minds present, McDonald asked me to continue with my revelations. So I did.
I told them everything, the feelings I had in training, the premonitions of Reina. Tamlyn's desire to stop flying. I recalled the businessman who was fortunate that I forced him to change seats and who was now accusing me of negligence. My mind fell back into the dancing shades of white, yellow and orange as the fires feasted on the dead and dying.
“There were the werewolf, witch and esqueleto (skeleton) on the site.” I revealed to these legal minds the images of El Dia de Los Muertos. I elaborated on my experience in the cockpit and my knowledge of the prior history that existed between Carl and Dieter. After some time I was done, but informed my scholarly lawyers that what I had revealed was merely an overview of the information I retained.
“Upon a request I could provide far greater specifics for you if you wish.” I slumped in my seat. A great silence engulfed the room. Dennis McDonald looked very distraught while Jawkins kept his cool. I never revealed to them that I possessed the CVR recording.
McDonald gave a serious glance over at Jawkins who did not respond.
“Let's call it a day. We'll be in touch with you Edmundo.” Dennis McDonald quickly rushed off. Exiting, I became curious about the fact that Jawkins did not seem rattled by what I had revealed.
“Are you surprised with what I said regarding the premonitions of the crew?” Jawkins shook his head slowly.
“Not at all. I have represented quite a few companies over the years in a variety of terrible incidents and in my examination of each there have been similar instances such as your crew-mates foreboding. Some of the premonitions have been represented in letters by people who knew their time was short, others related their concerns in dreams. I can't explain it but I have come to expect it in each instance.” I was now the one that was hit with an unexpected bomb: Andrew Jawkins was showing a true understanding of my plight.
“I feel very comfortable with you on my side,” I revealed with a joyful smile. Jawkins just chuckled as we went our separate ways.
Once at home I patiently waited for the next call from the legal department. Cristiano was walking now which added another workout in trying to keep up with the active child. The unconditional love I received from my son was unlike any sense of comfort I had ever known. All my wounds were instantly soothed by his smile and hugs. He knew nothing of the greed, lies and deceptions that were so clear in my mind. I longed to view the world once more through his eyes, pure and innocent for is that not what someone was to expect when given a second chance at life?
Sofia had taken Cris to shop with her sisters one clear day as I sat and enjoyed the smell of the ocean breeze. I had a loving wife, a beautiful young son and the support of a family that wanted nothing more for me than to put aside the difficulties from my past. Then the phone call came.
“Hello,…..Eddy?” The female voice was gentle but hesitant. I was not prepared for the words that came next.
“Eddy, this is Becky Devita's mother.” I froze. Instantly I was transported back to the evening of October 30, 1979, envisioning the beauty that was young Becky with her soft light hair, fair skin and dressed impeccably in her company uniform. “Hello? I'm sorry, have I caught you at a bad time?”
“No. I'm sorry, yes, it's okay, I'm not busy right now,” I fumbled.
“I'm sorry to bother you, Eddy, but we are at our wits' end. I have been as patient as I can be but I can't seem to get any straight answers from the airline.” Her words cut deep into my being but the sounds of her struggling with her emotions was even more devastating. “We need your help, Eddy.”
“Speak your mind.” She had my ear.
“
The airline has stonewalled us at every point. You know Eddy, Becky was not working on that portion of the flight. Why did she have to die?” She continued, “I realize that you are probably under pressure from the company not to say anything. Did they ask you to remain silent?” The words hit to the core. “Eddy, help us. What happened down there in Mexico?” I never felt so torn in my life. What could I say? I was not going to lie to her yet I had to be careful.
“There were a lot of things that went wrong down there,” I began. “I am currently preparing to go to court in these cases. I can't really say anything now but I promise I will get back to you at their conclusion.” Although pitiful, it was the best I could do for the woman. I hung up the phone and was so pissed at my company. My heart went out to the grieving lady. “Why in the hell is it my responsibility to have to explain to my crew-mates' loved ones the real reasons for their demise?” The words that remained in my mind were the kindling that instantly lit a fire of a magnitude I had not known previously. I felt as if the oath of loyalty I swore had been trampled on and those responsible had no honor. I angrily grabbed the phone once again and made a hasty call to the company's legal department.
“Dennis McDonald please, this is Eduardo Valenciana,” I tapped my foot uncontrollably as the rage made my wait intolerable.
“Yes, Edmundo, how can I help you?”
“Damn it, Dennis, my name is EDUARDO. Can't you guys get it right just once?”
“Sorry, what can I do for you?” I tried to cool down with little success.
“I just got off the phone with Becky Devita's mother. What the hell have you told her, or more like haven't told her? The poor woman is in such a panic that she is reaching out to me for answers?”
“The lady called you?”
“Yeah.”
“Today?”
“Just right now. What the hell is going on?” The phone went silent as there was a long pause.
“She's trying to cause trouble. Look, if she calls again just hang up on her.” I heard the words but my heart and soul refused to accept them. Did he really tell me to hang up on Becky's grieving mother? I stared off through my large living room window into the blue eternal sky, said nothing more and slowly hung up the phone.
There were some in the industry who predicted that, as a result of my ordeal, I was now a walking time bomb. Well, the incendiary device exploded inside with such great force, I could not let Sofia or Cristiano be witness to its aftermath. I quickly gathered some belongings, including my knife, and stomped off. I could catch the next flight out to the Pacific, the island of Kauai. That was the only place I could possibly avert a catastrophe I would forever regret.
“We need your help, Eddy.” The grieving mother's words rang clear over and over as I impatiently boarded the jet bound for HNL.
“What a piece of shit.” I sat spellbound by recent encounters. The grieving mother and the blood sucking attorney. Neither were aware I was lifting off into the spacious skies over the ocean.
“It was not my responsibility, not my duty.” Deep inside I knew I was running away from having to do what was right. My body was twisted. I erupted into convulsions. I raced into the first class lavatory, to the dismay of the flight attendants who were still strapped into their jumpseats. The craft was in a steep climb. Once we leveled off I returned to my seat. My kind associates pretended like nothing had ever happened.
The long trek up the slopes to the waterfalls could be burdensome. The trails had become very familiar and I quickened my pace; I so desperately wanted a sanctuary.
“Damn airline!” I was immensely angry and for the first time I was filled with a feeling of great disappointment in the company. The so-called professionals who I believed were the best in the industry-how could they let something like this happen? Everyone in the airline had been affected from the hallways of the executive offices to the baggage handlers. We were all bonded by this stupid mistake and endured its consequences. Yet no matter the extent of my disdain, I could not discard my love for this airline. Now the covetous money-negotiators? They were a whole different matter.
I sat alongside the majestic falls, in the depths of the valley, hypnotized by the falling beads of clean water into the glistening pond. The serene atmosphere kept my demons contained. I focused my thoughts on my young son. Cris was the only thing in this mad world that was not distorted or ugly in my eyes. I dreamed of never returning to the mainland, perhaps bringing my young boy here to live in the bosom of the island. I envisioned us running together along the hillside trails. We could chase the piglets upstream and count the endless number of stars in the canopy each night. Oh, what a grand time we would have! Then reality returned as I was sure his mother would greatly disapprove. I came falling back to earth.
“Damn. I forgot about Sofia.” How in the hell am I going to explain this to my dear wife?
Seeds of despair began to take hold, slowly and stealthily. I contemplated stopping everything in its tracks, abandon my responsibilities, possibly not return to LAX. Perhaps I will not appear at the vital court proceeding, ignore the truth, deteriorate into a dysfunctional sloth.
“Help us, Eddy.” Becky's mother's plea haunted me. There would be no retribution for the lives taken.
“Perhaps it was time for some payback.”
'We need your help...” I arose in a rage.
“Ask this silent God to help you, lady!” I screamed as my words echoed off the volcanic walls. My mind shut down, retreating into a basic animal nature. I no longer wanted to think, only react by instinct. My raw emotions led me to cries heard through the corridors of the jungle. What I so desired was to join my crew-mates who had left me behind that Halloween morning,
“Will I ever be good enough?” I wept deeply.
As the sun set I decided to strengthen my resolve and invited Antimundo to join me. I removed the shiny metallic weapon from my backpack, raised it up and admired its design, its long smooth lines. I began to dance about once again grunting then breaking into a comparable tune.
“I've never been lost like this, I've never been lost like this and I wouldn't be happier anywhere else.”[9]
I removed the containers of ritual paint from my belongings and realized that in my haste I had only packed the white body paint. The all important red tint was absent. I thought of possibly using the red tinge from the natural volcanic dirt but its shade was nowhere near the bright red of the airline's logo.
Suddenly, I heard a faint rustling in the foliage nearby. Instantly a vile fantasy took hold and all dreams turned sour. I was relieved to see a fatted little porker snorting his disrespect as I sank into the realm of the lost.
“That's the ticket. I'll take care of it.” Antimundo had the solution. Sometimes the innocent are the ones who pay the highest price. I grabbed the knife and slipped silently into the bush. Survival can be a bitch. It was purely a selfish need for blood, an act for our sole entertainment. We were drunk with hate and Muerto was delighted.
I lay on the ground intoxicated and exhausted mesmerized by the cascading falls. I fell asleep and dreamed. I heard Reina's voice.
“Find faith, seek hope.”
“I wanted to go with you!” Suddenly the crows of a flock of roosters brought me back to life. Shame put an emphasis on my previous night's behavior.
I shook off the fear because the hangover demanded my immediate attention, as I had to break camp, clean up and physically hike out of the valley. It was time to face the consequences back home.
“You're really sick, Eddy.” Sofia lashed out when I returned and her anger was justified. Cristiano sat in the middle of the living room floor crying. Who could blame her?
“You worthless scum.” The fallen angels joined in on my flagellation.
“Promise me you won't take off to Kauai again.” My young, wounded wife drew a line in the sand. “Promise me!” I walked over and picked up my sniffling child and held him close to me the rest of the evening.
“You don't know
how close you came to not being here, son.” Exhaustion finally overtook both of us. I slept peacefully with my son that night as the cool breeze swept in from the ocean.
Sofia was not the only frustrated person I had to make amends with. Daisy Ackley had become aware of my recent misadventures. I had also skipped an appointment with Doctor Ramljak.
“Really Daisy, everything is fine. I just went to Kauai to blow off a little steam before I was to testify.” I don't think she believed me. The legal department of the airline was not comforted at all.
“We've been trying to get a hold of you. You need to be available as this thing is far too important. Do you understand?” Dennis McDonald was adamant.
“Yeah, I understand. I'm fine now.” I felt a sense of shame in my company's perceived lapse of confidence in me. When we met again Dennis tried to stiffen my resolve.
“You're part of the team right?”
“Yeah, I am-part of the team.”
“Good, we all need to be on the same page.” McDonald seemed appeased.
Gathering my emotions I began to focus on the immediate obstacle facing me, the legal interrogations. The insurer's counselor reflected no anxiety. Jawkins was a cool customer.
“You know Ed, the opposing attorney is going to use every means possible to trip you up and pick at any inconsistencies in your statements.” I recalled the comandante:
“Sign the f###### paper!” My thoughts betrayed me.
“Ed, did you hear what I said?”
“Yeah, I understand. It's not hard to figure, with so much money to be had; I expect they will try and bulldoze right over me.”
“You can't get emotional on the stand, Ed.”
“No, no, I realize the importance of remaining composed. Remember guys I'm just the stupid flight attendant who was lucky to survive. What would I know that would be of vital interest in this case?” In my mind I knew that is what they wanted. Yet, Jawkins had one concern.
Jumpseat- A Tale of Twisted Fate Page 49