“People, let’s eat,” Harriet said, balancing a bowl of salad on her belly as she walked to the table. “Who needs drinks? More drinks, anyone?”
Elizabeth’s first glass of wine was still half full. There was no way she was blacking out again, especially since James was driving her home. She watched enviously as the rest of the group grabbed bottles and refilled glasses.
Harriet’s dinner was a celebration of her culinary skills. They sat elbow to elbow at the table and passed heaping bowls of garlic-drenched pasta, crusty bread, and greens. Elizabeth sat back and watched everyone as they enjoyed the meal. Anna and Willard, so in sync with one another that they almost raised their forks in unison. Harriet and Des, ever the good hosts, making sure that glasses were filled and conversation was equally divided among the guests. Reid and Nicky, still flirting despite their years together. Everyone was having a delightful time.
Everyone but James.
He was a curmudgeon at the end of the table, downing beer after beer and chatting with Willard instead of joining the group conversation. Elizabeth never once saw him smile.
She almost felt guilty for laughing until her cheeks hurt at the other end of the table. Phones stayed facedown on the table in between the stacked dishes or in pockets. There was no discussion of sponsored content, immersive experiences, content curation, or impressions. No one took a single photo, despite how gorgeous they all looked under the strings of lights.
Harriet stood up as the group scraped the bits of Eton mess from their dessert cups. “May I remind you of the rules in the Welbeck household? Ladies, please retire to the fire pit for after-dinner drinks under the stars. Gentlemen, get going on the dishes.” She threw her napkin in the air with a flourish and waddled away.
Anna grabbed her wineglass and stood up. “She’s serious, Bess. The ladies did the prep, the guys do the cleanup. Come on.”
The men groaned and pretended that it was all too much for them, but it was clear the ritual was well established. Elizabeth glanced at her phone to check the time and was shocked that it was midnight. She was even more shocked when an email from Carson Keller showed up as she stared at her screen. It had taken Carson ages to get back to her, but she counted on the fact that he probably had a read receipt tracker on the message, so he’d know exactly when she opened it.
“Bess,” Harriet hissed from a wicker chair by the fire pit. “Come talk to us! What is going on with that man?”
“Yes, what did you do to him? I’ve never seen James so quiet,” Anna asked.
Elizabeth was so excited about the email that she could barely hear what they were saying. “I’m going to run to the powder room for a minute, I’ll tell you everything when I get back.”
The men were bickering in the kitchen, aprons on and sleeves rolled up, trying to decide who was better at loading the dishwasher. James stood off to the side of the cheerful group, draining another pint as Elizabeth slipped by them and out the front door. She needed silence as she processed whatever Carson had to say. She closed her eyes and crossed her fingers before she opened the email.
Two words jumped out at her.
Phone call.
He wanted to set up a phone call! Elizabeth did a little victory dance on the cobblestones. A phone call was halfway to an offer. And an offer was her ticket back. She gazed up at the stars and thanked the universe for finally delivering good news.
The door clicked open behind her. “What are you so excited about?”
It was James, looking grumpy and unsteady.
“I just got some good news.”
“About what?”
“Just something back home.” She wasn’t sure why she didn’t want to tell him.
“Ah,” he said, crossing his arms. “So, are you leaving us tomorrow now?”
“No, I told you I have more work to do with Rowan. I would never leave before we finished.”
“Hm.” He stumbled a few steps.
“Are you drunk, James?”
“Why would you say that?” He raised his eyebrows a few seconds after he finished asking the question, as if his facial expressions were on a delay.
“I saw you down about eight beers.”
“Were you watching me, like a . . . a . . . nanny?”
“I actually was watching you, you’re supposed to be my designated driver,” Elizabeth replied, enjoying the fact that she was only half a glass of wine deep and James was wasted. “And I was trying to figure out what put you in such a bad mood.”
“I’m not in a bad mood, you’re in a bad mood.” His bottom lip jutted out like a little boy’s.
“I was when we got here, yes. But I wound up having a great time. I don’t understand why you’re not.”
He paced in circles on the street in front of the carriage house, occasionally tripping on the cobblestones and trying to play it off. Between the bright moon and the light pouring from neighboring houses he was illuminated enough for Elizabeth to see the furrowed brow and his always-smiling mouth in a tight line.
She didn’t like drunk James Holworthy.
He stopped pacing and stomped over to her without warning, forcing her to take a few steps back so they weren’t nose to nose. She crossed her arms to ward off a shiver that rolled through her.
“Don’t you see? It’s all for you! All of it!” He threw up his hands in frustration. “Everything. The visits to HiveMind, the puppy, tonight . . .”
“What are you talking about? You’re not making sense.” Elizabeth fought off a flicker of hope.
He stepped closer to her, breathing heavy like he’d jogged the short distance between them.
“It’s all for you, Bess,” he said quietly, as if repeating the words would make her understand. “Since the first time I saw you, it’s all been for you.”
“The first time? You mean when we met at Rowan’s party?”
“No, at HiveMind!” He stomped away, frustrated that she wasn’t following his drunken logic. “I saw you there. We saw each other, right? You were checking your phone in the courtyard.” He walked back and glared at her. He hadn’t touched her, but the fireworks in her spine were back. “I couldn’t look away from you.”
“But what do you mean ‘all for you’?” she asked. She could feel heat radiating from him.
“Every single thing I’ve done since you arrived is to get closer to you.” His voice went soft. “Catching your hat? That was thanks to the wind, but I would’ve found a way to talk to you. Those accidental meetings at HiveMind? Those weren’t accidents, Reid told me you were there. He was my lookout. And going to meet Amber tonight? I went because you suggested it. I just . . . wanted to be near you.” He started to reach for her, then stopped abruptly.
“Then why did you say what you said when we got here?” Elizabeth didn’t want to repeat the words, or hear him say them again.
James was quiet for a long time, like he needed to work up the courage to answer her. When he finally did, his voice was a whisper.
“Because I liked you immediately. You are magnificent, Eliza-bess, in so many ways.” The raw emotion in his face shocked Elizabeth. His shoulders slumped and he cupped his hands against his chest. “And I hate that I like you.”
Her heart thumped, and she rubbed her arms to smooth the goose bumps that had nothing to do with the temperature. She ached to touch him and steal some of the electricity swirling around him. “But . . . why?”
James stared at the ground and didn’t say anything for a few minutes.
“Have you ever been in a long-distance relationship? Nothing but heartbreak, I tell you. Never again. My girlfriend Marion? Boyfriend in Paris the whole time. I was her boyfriend.” He banged on his chest to emphasize the point, then listed from side to side and cupped his hands around his mouth to shout, “Long distance is always rubbish!”
Elizabeth waited a moment befor
e she answered. “It doesn’t have to be like that, James.”
He harrumphed and went back to pacing in circles in the street.
“Do you want to know what I like about you, Bess? Huh? Obviously, I like the way you look.” He ticked his thumb. “I mean, who wouldn’t? You’re a goddess. I can’t think straight when you’re around.” He ticked his pointer finger. “Reid told me you’re super fecking smart with all of his computer stuff, and to me that’s a ninja combo: beauty and brains.” He paused in the middle of the street and let out a tiny burp. “Uhhh . . . I like your dog. Georgina is a very good girl.” He ticked his middle finger.
Suddenly, drunk James Holworthy was enchanting.
“Wait, wait, there’s more.” James threw his head back and closed his eyes for a few seconds, swaying in place, then pointed at her triumphantly. “Your art! You are a kick-ass painter. So that’s five things I like: you’re pretty, you’re smart, you’ve got an awesome dog, and you are an incredible painter lady.”
“That’s only four things,” Elizabeth said, trying to keep from laughing at his drunken math. “But that’s plenty.”
He mumbled to himself, counting off on his fingers. “You’re right. Well, I’ll come up with a fifth thing. Hell, give me a chance and I’ll come up with a million things I like about you, Bess. A million and one things.” His voice dropped to a whisper. “A billion things.”
James paused in the middle of the street and looked at her with an expression Elizabeth couldn’t read. Angry? Confused? Sad? He stomped toward her in full furrow like he was getting ready to register a complaint with customer service. Every step he took set off a spark in her chest because she knew exactly what was about to happen.
Drunk James Holworthy was going to kiss her.
He came to an abrupt stop about a foot away. The furrow disappeared and his whole body relaxed, as if being in her orbit calmed him. “Hi, Bess.”
He stood still, just staring at her, so Elizabeth took a step closer and placed her hand on his arm.
“Hi, James.”
Elizabeth knew the kiss was inevitable, so the wait felt delicious. The pause stretched out, and they smiled at each other, sharing the moment before the moment that would change everything between them.
The door clicked open loudly enough that they both jumped, and Des peeked his head out. He looked at them and seemed to realize what he’d interrupted. “Uhhh, all okay out here? Harriet was getting worried.”
“We’re grand,” James said as he leaned away from Elizabeth, smiling a giant fake smile. “Thanks, mate.”
“There you are!” Harriet crowded Des in the doorway and looked from Elizabeth to James and then back to Elizabeth. “What’s going on?”
“We were just getting some air. Someone’s had a bit too much,” Elizabeth said, gesturing to James. “And he’s my ride.”
“Really? He never drinks like this. Are you sober, Bess?”
“Incredibly.”
“James,” Des said. “Bess is driving you home.”
“Wait a minute, the steering wheel—” Elizabeth interjected.
“Wot?” James said over her. “Never! That’s not celery . . . chivalry. Chivalrous.”
Harriet giggled and shot Elizabeth a knowing look.
“Either you’re sleeping here or she’s driving you. Those are your only options.”
“You lot get up too early, I’ll take the Bess option.” He was standing with his legs wide in an effort to stay upright.
Des looked at Elizabeth. “Can you drive on our side of the road?”
“That’s what I’m trying to say. No, I cannot!”
James patted her arm. “Bess, yes you can. I bet you can do anything. I’ll help you. I need to get home to let the P-man pee. Right? Porter needs to go out. It’s close, and I’ll help you.”
“Think you can manage?” Des asked, looking concerned. “If not, I’ll drive him and we can get Reid to take you back. But James doesn’t live that far from Rowan and Trudy’s, you could probably drive him home then walk from his place. Ten minutes max.”
“I’ll do it,” Elizabeth said. “It’s too much to get everyone driving this late. I just need some tips. And I think we should head out soon.” She pointed at James, who was standing next to them swaying slightly with his eyes closed.
The group assembled outside as Elizabeth got settled in the driver’s seat of James’s Peugeot. Des and Nicky plotted the route while Harriet shouted encouragement over their shoulders. James sat silently in the passenger seat with a bemused expression on his face.
“This Uber driver is a keeper, man.” He gestured to Elizabeth.
“Mind the hedgerows,” Des said. “The roads are narrow. And don’t forget: drive on the left!”
She nodded and backed out slowly while they watched her. Harriet had her hands pressed to her mouth, which hardly made Elizabeth feel confident.
“Drive on the left!” they screamed in unison as Elizabeth found the correct lane.
James laughed, and Elizabeth tried to focus on navigating as he slid his hand on top of her thigh and promptly fell asleep.
chapter twenty-seven
The headlights illuminated the windowed front door of James’s cottage, making Porter’s eyes glow like laser beams.
“You live here?” Elizabeth asked as she parked. The tiny white stone cottage was straight out of a Hans Christian Andersen story, the type of home where a magical grandmother might dote on her half-fairy, half-human offspring while she talked to the woodland animals.
“Welcome to the piggery!” James said as he opened the door and fell out of the car. He stood up slowly and beckoned Elizabeth to follow him. “It used to be a pig barn until I renovated it. Now, this isn’t a drop-and-run, you must come in and meet Portie.” He took a giant iron key off a hook by the door and fumbled with it.
“Why is your key hanging right next to the lock?” Elizabeth asked.
“This isn’t to keep the bad guys out, it’s to keep Porter in. He’s an ace picklock. Sometimes people stop by to visit him while I’m at work and it’s easier than passing out a million keys.”
James finally managed to open the door and he dropped to his knees to greet Porter. “My boy, didja miss me? Didja?” He scratched the oversized brown dog along the neck while Porter headbutted his chest.
Porter was massive, the biggest dog Elizabeth had ever seen in real life. She tried to talk herself out of her visceral fear response but couldn’t stop herself from trembling.
“Go say hi to our lovely guest,” James said, pointing to Elizabeth. She steeled herself for whatever Porter was about to deliver. A jump would knock her over, but she didn’t want to start screaming in front of James.
Porter untangled himself from James and seemed to realize that someone else was in the room. He trotted over and danced in place in front of Elizabeth, opting to jig instead of jump. She reached out tentatively and he swooped his head beneath her hand before she could think twice, still Riverdancing with joy.
“He prances when he’s happy,” James said.
His fur was satin. Elizabeth stroked him as he turned from side to side in front of her. “How much does he weigh?”
“You’re petting thirty-six kilos of muscle and heart right there,” James replied. He reclined on the floor with his fingers laced behind his head. He stretched almost from one end of the tiny front room to the other.
Elizabeth massaged Porter’s shoulders the way Trudy had shown her, and the dog leaned into her to signal that she was very good at it. She stopped for a moment and Porter threw himself against her outstretched hands, almost toppling her. She laughed and glanced at James.
He was snoring on the slate floor.
She took the opportunity to peek around the little cottage. The high gray-beamed ceiling helped give the illusion of space in the pocket-sized home. The rock
walls were painted a bright white, and there were pops of color around the place, like an Hermès orange end table by the tasteful taupe couch and a bright blue Dutch door leading out of the kitchen. She could see the edge of his old-fashioned bronze bed in a room around the corner. She’d envisioned James living in a sleek modern apartment, but seeing him filling up the space in the storybook cottage made sense too.
Porter walked to the door and whined, but James didn’t move.
“James,” Elizabeth said quietly. “Porter needs to go out.”
“Hmf? Just open the door and walk out with him, he’ll be quick.” He rolled over onto his right side and curled his hands beneath his head.
“Leash?”
“No leash. Porter is the best boy.” He didn’t even open his eyes.
“I guess it’s you and me,” Elizabeth said to Porter. “Let’s go.”
They walked out to the open area by the gravel driveway, and Elizabeth could understand exactly why James had made his home in a former pig barn. It was the perfect combination of wild wooded land in back and endless pasture in front. Elizabeth spotted a vine-draped trellis in the distance and envisioned the path James had carved in the untamed forest.
Porter sniffed his way around the grounds, made a few deposits along the way, and trotted back to Elizabeth looking proud. She’d never felt so at ease with a dog so quickly, especially one that looked pumped up on steroids. The dog radiated calm kindness.
“Now what?” she asked him. “Is it time for me to go kiss your person?”
Porter raced back to the front door and waited for Elizabeth to open it. James was still asleep on the floor, curled in a ball. Porter jumped up on the couch and settled with his head on the armrest so he could observe.
She tiptoed to James and bent over him, watching him breathe. He looked portfolio perfect; he was on his side with his strong profile highlighted against the black floor. She snuck to get her phone out of her purse and then straddled him, leaning in close to his face so that she could frame the shot. She twisted her phone a few times, trying to find the right light, then snapped the photo.
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