by K. A. Linde
Fordham grimaced. “Don’t let him find out.”
“I know. But how do I get people to participate and the Society to listen if I stay hidden?”
Fordham was silent for a moment, as if he didn’t have an answer. But then he finally met her gaze again. “I haven’t been the best advocate for human and half-Fae rights. I was raised to see them… you, as lesser. Though I am trying to be better.”
She nodded, knowing what the admission had cost him.
“Could I join you the next time you go to something for the RFA?”
Kerrigan blinked. That wasn’t what she’d thought he’d say. “You want to come to a protest?”
“You shouldn’t stay hidden. You can’t be contained, and no one should try to force you. Wild and untamed are the only ways in which you should exist,” he said, his hand sliding across the distance between them and settling on hers. Her pulse jumped in the hollow of her throat at the bare touch. “I want to be there to see you change the world. Because I already know that you will.”
Kerrigan’s throat bobbed. She didn’t have words.
She wanted to kiss him. To pull their bodies together in the stacks and get lost in him entirely. Their bodies hovered in that space, a beat between them. She moved a few inches forward, and he mirrored her. She could have reached out, but she couldn’t keep asking for something that he wouldn’t reciprocate. And here they were, in this moment, and all they had to do was finish, push their lips together and forget the world.
Just as she was about to say screw it and dive in anyway, Fordham closed his eyes for a second and then pulled back. He took his hand with him, and suddenly, she felt bereft.
Kerrigan crossed her arms over her chest and turned away from him. Her eyes struggled to focus, except what had almost happened. She was so stupid. Why did she keep putting herself in this position with him? He’d made himself clear.
“Kerrigan …”
“What’s this?” she asked, focusing on the book finally. Anything to keep him from saying whatever was next going to come out of his mouth.
“What?” He saw what she was looking at and then said, “Oh. It’s records from the Great War.”
“You’ve been researching the Great War?”
“Well, I was working with Gelryn to see if I could get information about your vision, but he had no interest in talking about the war.”
“Unsurprising,” she said, paging through the book. “Considering what he went through there.”
“Yeah. So, I thought to see if there were records for all of the Society members at that time, but there were just long lists of names. They were almost indecipherable.” He shook his head. “I decided to try to search through the Great War rosters and see if I could find anyone by the name of Trulian or Mei.”
“Any luck?” she asked.
He shook his head. “About what I expected. Trulian is a pretty common name. I found five of them so far. Four Fae commoners and a Society general. The general seems pretty important.”
Kerrigan wracked her brain. Trulian had looked like someone important in her vision, but with five options already, she didn’t know if that was right.
“And Mei?”
“No. Plenty of Mae spelled M-A-E but none M-E-I.”
“Huh,” she said. “Thank you for doing this. I never would have thought there would be records.”
“We keep them in the House of Shadows, and sometimes, as a child, I had to copy them word for word as punishment.”
Kerrigan frowned. “That sounds torturous.”
“It was,” he admitted. “Who knew it would be useful?”
Kerrigan pulled the book closer to her and paged absently through it. She didn’t know what she was looking for. If there were that many Trulians, she wouldn’t find them, but a Mei might be the key. She had been the one to put up the wall around the House of Shadows after all.
But there was nothing here. She spent an hour thumbing through the records and found nothing.
“What we need,” Fordham said, “is someone who was alive during the Great War, who would remember and talk to us about it. I don’t know anyone old enough though.”
Kerrigan shook her head with a sigh. “I don’t either, but I’m going to find someone.”
28
The Bond
“Congratulations, trainees. You have completed the introductory bond training. Your mount and dismounts have greatly improved. Though we will continue to focus on them as we go into the next section, they will not be the primary concern of the second set of training.”
Kerrigan grinned, knowing what this meant. They were finally going to be able to fly. Flying was her true passion. The first time she’d ever ridden on a dragon, she’d known that she had been made for it. Nothing in all of her life had ever prepared her for finding joy on the back of a dragon high above the city. She’d wanted nothing but her own set of wings from that day forward. That way she could go up into the skies anytime she wanted. But as she’d gotten older, she’d realized two things: she’d never get her own wings and no one was going to give a half-Fae a dragon. She’d been right on both counts even if she’d made her own destiny with the second. It had been luck or fate that gave her Tieran. She couldn’t wait to do more than hover around the arena with him.
“Before we move on,” Alura said, “I have a series of bond tests to determine the strength of your bond.”
Kerrigan’s stomach dropped. That wasn’t going to be good.
“Afternoon classes have been canceled for us to perform these tests. There will be two tests—one for you and one for your dragon. Each test will be scored based on how well you perform together.”
Kerrigan looked to Tieran with a frown.
His face revealed nothing of his own anxiety, but she swore that she could feel it radiating off of him. They’d fumbled through most of bond training so far with him speaking into her mind or her gentle nodding. She’d actually come up with a few signs and magic signatures for him to follow. There was no bonding, but they were beginning to understand each other in ways that they’d never managed in their earlier training sessions. It hadn’t been dire enough. Now, it was do or die.
“Dragons and riders, to opposite ends of the arena,” Alura declared.
Kerrigan patted Tieran’s neck. “Good luck.”
We need more than luck. We need a bond, he grumbled.
He wasn’t wrong.
She’d spent the last couple weeks researching the bond. She found the spell to brew the bonding potion. It was incredibly simple. She filched the supplies from the greenhouses on the eastern side of the mountain and put all of the materials together herself. Tieran was skeptical but willing to try anything. Maybe the bond hadn’t worked because she had thought that she shouldn’t be picked. Maybe it was a mental thing.
She read over and over about mental fortitude for the spell. That the pair had to want to be linked. Which, in the beginning, had been far from the case. But this time, there was no other choice. They had to bond, and they both wanted it despite their differences.
They took the potion. Kerrigan passed out again. She saw her father in a strange world, being beaten by a giant of a man. The man turned at the last moment and saw her. She could still hear the screams from inside the villa. She had just been getting over that particular nightmare, but here it was all over again.
She had no idea what Tieran had seen, but he awoke, shaking with real fear in his eyes. But the bond continued to evade them. It hadn’t worked, and Tieran refused to try again. She didn’t blame him. If what he had seen was as bad as what she had seen, then she hardly wanted to go through it a third time.
Now, they were on opposite sides of the arena prepared to trick everyone into believing they had a bond. Scales.
Gemina went up to each of the dragons as Alura strode over to the trainees. “Gemina is giving each dragon a location outside of the city, and you will have to trek to reach them by following the bond. It is the farthest bond that we’ve tried, and I sus
pect it will take a lot of stretching for you. But we can’t get better if we don’t stretch.” She was firm and unsmiling but somehow made it sound encouraging.
Kerrigan sweat with fear. She had no bond to follow. It didn’t matter how far away Tieran was; she wasn’t going to find him.
“We want you all back by lunch, and then we’ll start the second part of the test. Once Gemina returns, you’ll begin. Any questions?”
By now, even Audria kept her hand at her side. Alura didn’t actually want questions. She wanted them to be soldiers.
“Good.” She grinned viciously.
The five of them waited with nerves biting at them. Audria still looked as prim and proper as ever. Though she’d been letting her hair down more. Fordham hadn’t loosened up an inch, but he also had the easiest time with his dragon. Roake was constantly frazzled. He hated the schoolwork. In Elsiande, where he was from in the south, he hadn’t been big on book work, especially when he’d been playing Dragon Eggs. The endless rolls of parchment set him to ranting. But it was Noda that Kerrigan worried the most about. She was homesick—though she wouldn’t admit it—and the constant pace was running her ragged. Her cuticles were stripped raw and her nails bitten to the quick.
Kerrigan wasn’t sure where she fit with the rest of them. The bond was fake, and she was terrified to be kicked out. She hadn’t even had time to go to the few other protests the RFA had put together these last couple weeks. She wasn’t sleeping, but that wasn’t unusual. Nor were the nightmares. She was hyperfocused on not getting kicked out.
Gemina soared back into the arena then, and all five of them took off at a run. Kerrigan had no clue which direction Tieran was in. She had to get close enough that he could speak into her mind. Surely, he was shouting to let her know wherever he was.
Fordham was going to finish first. That was obvious. Once he was out of the arena, he set off at a run toward the South River. Netta must have been across the water. But the rest of the pack slowed once on the other side of the arena walls. They didn’t exactly travel together, but Kerrigan figured that each dragon had been sent in a different direction, and maybe process of elimination could get her to Tieran.
“This is insane,” Roake grumbled. “I can’t feel anything.”
“Just keep trying,” Noda said.
“We’ll get there,” Audria agreed. Her face was pale. Despite being top of the class in studies, she was worst after Kerrigan on dragon bonding. She couldn’t work extra hard to make it happen.
“I think I’m west,” Noda said with an uncertain look. “I’m going to head in that direction.”
She jogged off, leaving the other three to contemplate the rest of the directions.
“Do you think they put the dragons all in different places? Or is Alura tricking us?” Roake asked.
“It’s a test. Not a trick. She wants us to succeed,” Audria said.
Roake looked at Kerrigan behind Audria’s back in disbelief. She didn’t know what she thought about Alura, but she at least seemed fair. Strict but fair.
“I’m going to try north, I guess,” Roake said. “See if I can feel anything from Luxor.”
Audria waved him off as he started jogging north. “She knows we’re bottom of the class in bonding.” She winced. “Sorry.”
“No. It’s true,” Kerrigan agreed.
“Maybe she put our dragons closest and Fordham’s farthest.”
“Maybe. Worth a try.”
Audria and Kerrigan headed east around Draco Mountain and down the Row. They jogged for about an hour before Audria gasped.
“I feel it!”
“Which direction?”
She pointed northeast. “I can’t believe I can feel it. I thought that for sure, I would never be able to pass this test.” She looked so relieved. “Good luck with yours, Kerrigan.”
Kerrigan watched her go with deep regret. What was she going to do now? East was the most likely direction, but she didn’t know if Roake’s dragon was actually north, which could mean that she spent all this time heading in the wrong direction, only to find Tieran had gone north.
Indecision bit at her, but logically, she decided east was the simplest answer. There was no bond to tug on, and she had to follow her gut. It had served her well in the past.
She jogged east for an hour until she felt like her lungs were going to explode. She was stranded in the middle of nowhere in the mountains outside of the city with only her magic. She’d passed a few traveling tourists, here to see the city as it bloomed in the fall. The trees all changed almost at once from vibrant green to a myriad of orange, yellow, and red. The leaves fell in a heap right before winter, leaving it all bare. But right now, it was stunning as the first wisps of cold came down off of the mountains.
Kerrigan was a summer child at heart, but she always enjoyed the cooler temperatures for a few days until the snow hit. Then, she’d rather huddle inside and never leave until spring revealed itself once more.
Right now, she couldn’t even be thankful for the cooler weather. She needed to find her dragon.
Three more hours passed in the blink of an eye. She’d missed the lunch deadline. She was lost. She had no dragon. She didn’t care who heard; she screamed at the top of her lungs. All of this, only to fail their first bonding test. How in the gods’ names was she supposed to survive this?
Just when she was ready to give up and turn back around, she heard a small voice in her head. Kerrigan?
“Oh, thank the gods!” she cried. “Tieran!”
A dragon flew into view, landing in a meadow near her. She dashed through the trees and straight to him.
I’ve been circling the area for hours, looking for you, Tieran said.
“Same,” she said. She actually hugged him as hard as she could. “I am so glad I found you. Where were you?”
A half hour on foot south of here.
“I never would have found you,” she groaned.
No. I think this proves that. And the next test, they’ll drop you off, and I am supposed to find you. He sounded dubious. How will we not fail as miserably next time?
Kerrigan didn’t have an answer to that as she climbed onto his back and he shot into the air, heading back toward the mountain.
“Maybe we should plan a place to meet. One in the north and one in the south, just in case. As soon as I’m dropped off, I’ll run to the meetup spot.”
What if you’re hours away?
She huffed, too tired to argue. “Do you have a better idea?”
He was silent a full minute before conceding, I do not.
So, they made their plan. They picked the locations that both of them knew and agreed to meet up. She didn’t know if it would even work, but at least they had a game plan.
They landed back in the arena, and Alura awaited with her arms crossed.
“What happened?” she demanded.
Kerrigan shook her head. “It’s the distance. I can’t find the bond that far away.”
“That shouldn’t be possible. You’ve been working on it for months.”
“Maybe I’m blocked,” she said.
“Blocked? No, that’s in your head,” Alura assured her. “You simply aren’t trying hard enough.” Her eyes shifted to the horizon. “It’s too late to set you up for the next test.”
“What?” Kerrigan gasped.
“If it took you this long for the first one, you could be out into the evening for the next one. Light is fading sooner now.”
“What does that mean then?”
She frowned. “That I cannot pass you to the next level of training.”
Kerrigan gasped. “Are you kicking me out?”
Alura considered it and then shook her head. “No. We’ll have to have a makeup for the second part.”
“A makeup,” Kerrigan breathed. “When?”
“Monday. It’s a holiday weekend,” Alura reminded her. “I won’t keep you from the Night of the Dead celebrations in the city. Plus, I am to return to Venatrix this
weekend for the Season event and the market opening. You and Tieran will have to make up the second test then. But if you don’t pass, then you’re out.”
Kerrigan gulped and nodded. “I understand.”
Tieran looked at her bleakly. We’re screwed.
And he wasn’t wrong.
29
The Night of the Dead
Kerrigan didn’t participate in any of the Night of the Dead festivities. She and Tieran spent all weekend flying around and scoping out locations to figure out how to beat this test on Monday. There was no other option. They ended up with a half-dozen places to meet all around the city perimeter. If she didn’t send them near those, then Kerrigan didn’t know what to do. It was the only shot they had.
Her friends tried to pull her out for the street festival the day before her exam. They wanted her to get her mind off of the test, but even if she wanted to go out, she couldn’t. She had plans with Mistress Zahina.
Helly had sent word to meet Zina in the aerie at nightfall, wearing all black. Kerrigan arrived right on time to find Zina in her black robes, her graying hair tied back and her face distant. A dragon nearly the size of Gelryn waited nearby with milky eyes and scratches down its neck and back.
Kerrigan swallowed as she approached the pair. “Mistress Zahina.”
“Zina, dear, is fine. Don’t let Vox scare you. He’s really a very sweet creature. He did his duty and now spends his days as he wishes, as I did until Helly called me back.”
“Hello, Vox,” Kerrigan said, bowing deeply to the ancient dragon.
Kerrigan, it is a great pleasure to make your acquaintance. The stars speak your name.
Kerrigan rose and stared in confusion. “The stars?”
“Don’t listen to him either. He fancies himself an astrologer.”
Vox nosed her. I study the stars, and they speak plainly about so little. Do not diminish the ones that they highlight. It is why you heeded your apprentice’s summons.
“Apprentice?” Kerrigan asked in surprise.
“Yes, yes, I taught Helly. She’s a handful and a half, isn’t she?”