by K. A. Linde
“I would hope so, considering this was where my grandmother trained before the Great War.”
Fordham glanced around at the beautiful meadow—as if seeing it for more than the barren, snow-crusted land it was—to the stunning visage of wildflowers, grasses, and blossoming trees. It was easy to imagine this as the perfect place to train during the springtime when everything was alive in Corsica Forest.
Kerrigan jumped down next to him, landing hard in the snow. “Ready when you are, princeling.”
Fordham’s eyes snapped to hers. “I thought we were beyond that nickname.”
“Ah, but it’s so fitting.”
He shook his head and then moved into a military stance. She didn’t know if he even did it knowingly. “We’re going to begin with steering. Like with a horse, we can direct our dragons with the use of the bond.”
I take offense to the metaphor, Tieran grumbled.
As if we could ever be as dumb as a horse, Netta said, nettled.
Tieran shot Kerrigan a look, as if to say, See.
“Regardless,” Fordham said, smiling at Netta, “it’s the same principle. And as with horses, we want to use a light touch. Jerking a horse around is going to do nothing but make them mad at you, possibly buck you off. Bond-strengthening exercises help keep the bond taut but not painful for either involved.”
“Okay,” Kerrigan said uneasily.
“So, first, we’ll work on strengthening the bonds each day through meditation. And then we’ll begin steering.”
Kerrigan gulped and met Tieran’s stare. Well, this was going to be fun.
She and Fordham burned away the snow in a small circle and then sat cross-legged on the dead grass. She put her hands on her knees, closing her eyes, as instructed. Then, Fordham took them through breathing exercises. She spent an hour on the frigid ground, breathing in through her nose and out through her mouth, pulling on the bond to grow it between them. Except, of course, there was no bond. By the time they rose and stretched their muscles, Kerrigan felt nothing but tense.
“We’ll begin with basic maneuvers,” Fordham said in his commander voice. She wanted to laugh, but this was who he was. When he instructed, he reverted to who he’d had to be to survive the House of Shadows.
“Excellent.”
“We’ll start with showing you how to use the bond to steer. You should be able to do it when you’re not on the dragon, but I find it much easier the first time while astride.”
Kerrigan nodded and then followed his lead, getting on Tieran’s back. Fordham sat on Netta across from them in the meadow.
“Now, there are two ways to move the bond. The first is with your hand, as if it were reins.” Fordham held his hand out in front of him and gently moved Netta’s head from side to side and then moved her body backward and then forward. “This is the easiest way, but in combat situations, you’ll need both hands for magic casting. Go ahead and try.”
Kerrigan gulped. “It’s been a while. I might be rusty.”
Fordham crossed his arms and waited without a word.
She muttered under her breath, “Here we go.”
She held her hand out gently in front of her, grasping for a bond that didn’t exist between them. She moved her hand right and then left, but nothing happened. She blushed at the look on Fordham’s face as he watched them together. Then, she went back to concentrating. Not that any amount of concentration would fix this.
She squeezed Tieran’s sides with her thighs and coughed out, “Come on.”
Tieran huffed and then spoke into her mind, Right. Now, left. And backward.
She followed his directions, moving her hand to follow his head. But the look on Fordham’s face said that he could tell something was off. Maybe it was the split-second difference between Tieran’s head movement and her hand. Maybe she was just imagining it. Could he know that Tieran was the one issuing the commands? And if he didn’t see it here, would he see it later? Because this might work in practice, but it wasn’t going to be practical in a battle.
“Good,” Fordham said with a nod. “The second way is mental. You don’t move your hand at all. Just use the strength of the bond to guide Tieran, which we’ll do later in the week. Once you have a handle on hand-steering.” He turned Netta to stand next to them. “Normally, as you know, we’d have obstacles set up around the arena for us to veer around. We’re going to have to use the forest for that. Netta and I will guide you through the first pass to get the hang of steering with the bond.”
Kerrigan nodded. “Sure.”
Tieran backed up a pace and then settled. This is ridiculous, Kerrigan. You cannot steer. There is nothing there for us to connect with. It will just be me flying with you on my back. That isn’t what the program is for.
“Shh,” she hissed.
Fordham glanced at her in confusion. “Set?”
She nodded. “Yeah, we’re ready.”
Following Netta through the trees was as exhilarating as any other flying she’d ever done, but Kerrigan wasn’t in control. She had no reins or tether to her dragon. Each time she reached for something—anything—to get them through it, she found open air. She gritted her teeth and pushed herself to do more than just sit there.
But Tieran was right. It was ridiculous. She wasn’t doing anything. And she didn’t know how they were going to hide this from everyone else.
Fordham directed them to try a pass of their own. The first one was easy. But as they progressed past the beginner’s course, Kerrigan realized why the bond was so necessary. She couldn’t feel Tieran beneath her. Not really. She only had an abstract sense of what he was going to do at any given point. And when he decided to take Fordham’s instructions literally, as he would do in battle, she had no concept of what was coming next, and that resulted in her slipping and crashing down into the trees.
Her shield collapsed with the fall. She yanked on her air magic to cushion her fall, but still, she landed hard on her back, torn up from the trees on the way down. Air rushed out of her lungs, and her eyes burned.
“Gods,” she groaned.
Tieran circled around and came back for her. You don’t look so good.
“Let’s do it again, jerk,” she said, groaning as she came to her feet and climbed back on her dragon.
But a dozen more runs, and she was still falling off of his back. Her shield stayed in place almost every time, but that hardly made a difference. It was muscle memory, not talent. Even when Tieran started to warn her, she’d still lose momentum and cling to him for her life. It was obvious they were out of sync.
Four days later, when they hadn’t progressed to mind-to-mind bond control and she was still landing on her ass in the snowy forest, Fordham called it quits for the day.
“No,” Kerrigan ground out. “We have to keep practicing.”
“We have been out here all day, every day for four straight days, Kerrigan. You’re not improving, and there’s no healer for all the myriad of bruises atop your body.”
“You once said that pain was part of the program. You had to learn to live with it.”
“Yes,” he ground out. “When we were running five miles a day. Not when your spot in the Society is at stake.”
She balked. “You think that I’m not good enough to stay in?”
He ran a hand back through his hair and looked across the meadow toward the sun lowering on the horizon. “I don’t know what’s wrong with you two. It’s like you are always one second behind. I’m not qualified to say what the real problem is, but there is a problem. Maybe the month grounded hurt the bond.”
Kerrigan gasped. He’d hit so close to home that she actually stepped back in horror.
“That came out worse than I meant,” he said with a harsh breath, facing her.
She wanted to tell him. A part of her ached to let him know the truth. Maybe they could figure this out together. But she recoiled at the thought. Not because she thought that he’d turn her in to the Society, but because of the way he’d looke
d when he said the bond could be damaged. That it was the worst thing he could imagine. How would he react if he found out it’d never been there?
“You go,” she told him, crossing her arms over her chest. “Tieran and I will stay and try to figure it out.”
“Kerrigan…”
“We’ll start again fresh tomorrow.”
Fordham blew out an exasperated breath. “You don’t have to stay out here.”
“I want to,” she said. “Just… go eat some real food.” She climbed back onto Tieran. “We’ll keep at this until we get it right.”
Fordham looked skeptical. She hardly blamed him. If they were going to get it right, they needed a lot longer than a few hours. But it must have been a testament to how poorly she was doing that he didn’t object to them staying out and working alone.
“Don’t do anything stupid.”
“What would be the fun in that?” she asked with a smirk.
He shook his head and then steered Netta away from the clearing. She watched them go with a sigh.
What exactly are we going to do out here in the cold? I could use some dinner and a warm bed.
Kerrigan rolled her eyes. “You’re such a baby. We have to figure this out. No warm bed until we have it.”
We’re not going to figure it out! Tieran all but yelled, shaking his body until she slid off of his back. This is the end of the line. Someone is going to know that we aren’t bonded.
“We figured everything else out! We can figure this out too.”
How? Because all you’ve done is fall off of me all week.
“It’s not my fault that they grounded me.”
Isn’t it? he snarled, stepping away from her.
“Fine! Just walk away. Just let us fail. I’ll be kicked out, and you’ll go back to the Holy Mountain.”
Tieran stopped. His body heaving with anger. Don’t ever say that again.
“What happened in that mountain, Tieran? Because whatever terrible thing it was, it’s going to happen again if we don’t work together.”
He cracked one pained eye open and glared at her. You want to know what happened? I grew up there. I had a mate. We found each other as hatchlings, and were together for thirty years. Her name was Risa. She was blood red with the widest wingspan and bright green eyes. I loved her. He choked off on the word.
Kerrigan froze. “What happened?”
The Society took her for the tournament.
Kerrigan racked her brain for a Risa. She didn’t know any dragons with that name. That had to be before her time.
They took her, and she did her best. She had a dragon rider. She was supposed to come home after her year of training, and she never did. When I asked what happened to her, no one would tell me. I only found out years later that her rider had perished in an accident after the tournament. Their bond cleaved her in two. She died on the spot.
Kerrigan froze. Her heart went out to him.
She died for no reason but that stupid bond. I hate the bonds.
“Oh Tieran, I’m so sorry,” I said, tears coming to my eyes. “I had no idea. Why did you enter the tournament if you hated it all so much?”
You think I had a choice? I spent fifty years purposely botching the entrance exam. So that no one would force me into a bonding. But the Holy Mountain decided that I had grieved long enough and sent me to the tournament anyway. They said if I returned without a bond, then my life would be forfeit for my failure.
Kerrigan balked. “What? They’d kill you?”
Dragons are still animals, he ground out. They cull the weak.
“And after all of that, we still didn’t bond.”
Tieran nodded, turning his head away from her. I sometimes wonder if it didn’t work because I never wanted it to.
“But you can’t go back.”
No, I can’t.
“I can’t go back to my life either,” she told him. “It’s this or nothing.”
Then, we really are in this together.
“Until the end.”
He nodded and then dropped down next to her. She leaned her head against his side. Something had shifted between them. That old animosity burned off. It had never been personal for Tieran. It had been about the loss of the love of his life. And she couldn’t blame him for wanting to avoid the very place that had shattered his heart.
They stayed liked that until the sun finally fell on the horizon, and then they got to work. Neither of them could be left behind. So, one way or another, there had to be a solution.
40
The Confession
When the moon rose to its zenith, Kerrigan and Tieran finally called it a night. She was bone-weary and could probably sleep through a full day if she were able to. But they didn’t have the luxury.
They’d tried everything short of bonding again. They didn’t have the materials, and the last thing she wanted was a third look at her father being beaten by some unknown man. She’d really thought that they’d had it when they tried going into the spirit plane. But it didn’t work here.
For one, she had to be out of her body for the spirit plane to function. She’d fallen clear off of his back the first time they tried. She hadn’t been holding on tight enough, and she just plummeted. Tieran dropped back into his body long enough to catch her, but it had been problematic. The second problem was that while Tieran could fly straight while out of his body, he couldn’t make any other movements until he returned. So, even after figuring out how to keep her attached to him, it took precious time to drop onto the plane, explain what they were doing, and come back to make the maneuvers. It wasn’t like she could direct from the plane. Which would have surely been too convenient.
We’ll try again tomorrow, Tieran said, nudging Kerrigan lightly after he dropped her off in front of the estate.
She shot him a forced smile. “Sure. Tomorrow.”
She watched him fly away before creeping through the empty estate. She stepped into her room, stripping out of her warm gear, and collapsed into the bed. Theoretically, she should have been so exhausted that she passed out. That was what normal people would do. But her brain was going a thousand miles a second, and she couldn’t shut it off. This thing with Tieran was a huge problem. There had to be a way to fix it, but she couldn’t figure it out. And she needed sleep to be able to get there. Only she couldn’t sleep.
She tossed and turned for what felt like ages, but she huffed and pushed herself out of bed. Tossing on a pale nightgown, she eased back out of her room. Her feet moved before she knew exactly where she was going. It wasn’t until she stood before the door to her old room that it dawned on her.
Kerrigan gulped and then pressed the door open. She blinked in the moonlight. The room was perfect. It was set up exactly how she’d left it twelve years ago. As if it had been preserved in history. She drew a finger over the dresser, and no dust had collected there. It was well kept.
The four-poster with thick, gauzy white curtains, the palest of pink coverlet, and light-honey-colored furniture all brought her right back to that moment when she’d been taken away from this life. But what drew her eye was the open balcony door and the breeze flowing through the window. That should have never been allowed.
Kerrigan drew her magic to her and headed toward the balcony doors. If there was an intruder, she would stop them from hurting her home. Even if the word home made her chest hurt. But when she got to the balcony, she only found her father leaning against the railing. She released her magic at once.
“I wondered when you’d come up here,” he said without turning around.
She didn’t know how he’d recognized her. She’d been as silent as a mouse.
“Your shadow,” he told her, as if reading her mind.
Kerrigan glanced down and saw where her shadow overlapped with his. Smart. “What are you doing up here?”
“Enjoying the view.”
Her room always had one of the best views from Waisley. She could see for miles from her vantage point.
She leaned forward against the railing. The moon cast enough light to see the edge of the forest and the tops of the homes in Lillington. Many of the House of Cruse subjects lived and worked in Lillington. Though there were other farming villages all across their feudal land.
After a moment, Kivrin said, “The village sent a missive this morning.”
“About what?”
“It’s apparently common knowledge that you’re here, and they would like to throw a Geivhrea celebration in your honor.”
“What?” she gasped. “But… why?”
His gaze swept to hers. He looked sardonic. “You’re their lost princess too.”
She glared at him and looked away. “When would they like this?”
“The day before you leave.”
She was silent a moment, staring off toward Lillington. Her father had dropped her off on the steps of the House of Dragons, in the shadow of the mountain. She’d become a story—the lost princess of Bryonica. But she hadn’t been lost; he’d known exactly where to find her. And now that she was back, everyone wanted to go back to how things had been. The king acknowledged her. March still wanted to marry her. Waisley was as if she had never left. And now, this…
It was a lot.
But it wasn’t anyone’s fault but the man standing in front of her. She wouldn’t take this from them, just because everything had been taken from her.
“I’ll do it.”
He nodded. “They’ll like that.”
“Why did you do it?” she asked, trying for calm and failing. “Why did you leave me in the mountain? I had a life here. It wasn’t perfect, but it belonged to me. And while I wouldn’t trade what I have now for anything, I still wish to understand.”
Kivrin breathed out slowly. He withdrew a cigar from inside his sharp black suit. He used a flicker of fire magic to light the end and took a deep inhale. He let the smoke out in rings before answering, “Many years ago, I was to have my own Season. As with your Season, it was the same year as what I assumed would be my dragon training. I was an eligible bachelor, and my mother wanted two things from me: to join the Society and marry to a station befitting my heritage.” He wrinkled his nose. “Mistress Enara ran a tough household.”