by Jean M. Auel
Ayla took his hands in hers. “I greet you, Mikolan of the Fourteenth Cave of the Zelandonii. I am Ayla of the Mamutoi, Member of the Lion Camp, Daughter of the Mammoth Hearth, Chosen by the Spirit of the Cave Lion, Protected by the Cave Bear, Friend of the horses, Whinney and Racer, and the hunter, Wolf.”
“I seem to have heard that some people to the east refer to their zelandonia as the Mammoth Hearth?” the woman acolyte said.
“You are correct,” Jondalar said. “They are the Mamutoi. Ayla and I lived with them for a year, but I’m surprised anyone here has heard about them. They live far away.”
She looked at Ayla. “If you are a daughter of the Mammoth Hearth, that explains some things. You are zelandoni!”
“No, I am not,” Ayla said. “The Mamut adopted me to the Mammoth Hearth. I wasn’t called, but he was starting to teach me some things before I left with Jondalar.”
The woman smiled. “You would not have been adopted if you were not meant to be. I am sure you will be called.”
“I don’t think I want to be,” Ayla said.
“That may be,” the First Acolyte of the Second said, then turned and continued leading them into the heart of Fountain Rocks.
Ahead, they began to see a glow, and as they approached, it grew almost brilliant. After the total darkness of the cave with only a few small lights, their eyes had adapted, and any greater illumination was all but dazzling. The corridor opened out and Ayla saw several people waiting in an. enlarged area. It seemed almost crowded, and as she reached the area, and recognized people she had met, she realized that everyone there was zelandonia, except for Jondalar and her.
The large woman from the Ninth Cave was sitting on a seat someone had brought in for her. She got up and smiled. “We’ve been waiting for you,” said the First. She gave both of them a hug that was held at a slight distance, and Ayla suddenly understood that it was a formal embrace, a greeting one gave to close associates in public.
One of the other Zelandonia nodded to Ayla. She responded with a nod to the short and slightly built man she identified as Zelandoni of the Eleventh, the one who had impressed her with his strong grip and self-confidence. An older man smiled at her, and she smiled back at Zelandoni of the Third, who had been so kind and supportive when she was trying to help Shevonar. She recognized most of the others only as people she had met and greeted.
A small fire had been made on top of some stones that had been brought in for the purpose—they would be taken back out when they left. A partially filled waterbag was on the ground beside a good-size wooden cooking bowl full of steaming water. Ayla watched a young woman use a pair of bentwood tongs to fish out a couple of cooking stones from the bottom of the cooking bowl, then add more from the fire. The steam billowed out as the hot rocks touched the water. When she looked up, Ayla recognized Mejera and smiled at her.
Then the One Who Was First added some material from a pouch. She’s making a decoction, cooking it, not just steeping a tea, Ayla thought. There is probably some root or bark in that drink, something strong. The next time hot stones were added, the billowing steam filled the air with a strong aroma. The mint was easy to detect, but she smelled other odors and flavors, which she tried to identify, and suspected that the mint was there to cover the taste of something less pleasant.
A couple of people spread a heavy leather covering on the damp and rocky floor near the seat that the First had occupied. “Ayla, Jondalar, why don’t you come over here and make yourselves comfortable,” the large woman said, indicating the leather. “I have something for you to drink.” The young woman who was tending the potion in the cooking bowl brought out four cups in preparation. “It’s not quite ready yet, but you might as well relax.”
“Ayla has been enjoying the wall paintings,” Jonokol said. “I think she might like to see more of them. It might be more relaxing than sitting there waiting until that drink is ready.”
“Yes, I would like to see more,” Ayla added quickly. She found herself suddenly feeling rather anxious about drinking some unknown decoction that she knew was intended to help her find some other world. Her past experience with similar drinks had not been especially agreeable.
Zelandoni observed her closely for a while. She knew Jonokol well enough to understand that he would not have made the suggestion without good reason. He must have noted that the young woman was showing some distress, and she did seem to be agitated.
“Certainly, Jonokol. Why don’t you show her the painted walls,” the First said.
“I’d like to go with them,” Jondalar said. He wasn’t feeling very calm himself. “And maybe the torch carrier could come with us.”
“Yes, of course,” said the First Acolyte of the Second, picking up the torch she had put out. “I’ll need to relight it.”
“There is some fine work on the wall behind the zelandonia, but I don’t want to bother them,” Jonokol said. “Let me show you something interesting down this corridor.”
He led them down a passageway that turned off to the right from the main one. Immediately on the left, he stopped in front of another panel of reindeer and a horse.
“Did you do these, too?” Ayla asked.
“No, my teacher did. She used to be Zelandoni of the Second, before Kimeran’s sister. She was an exceptional painter,” Jonokol said.
“She was good, but I think the student has outdone the teacher,” Jondalar said.
“Well, for the zelandonia, it is not so much the quality, although it is appreciated. It is the experience. These paintings are not just for looking at, you know,” the First Acolyte of the Second said.
“I’m sure that’s true,” Jondalar said with a wry smile, “but for me, I think I like the looking more. I must admit, I’m not exactly waiting eagerly for this … ceremony. I’m willing, of course, and I think it may be interesting, but for the most part, I’m happy to let the zelandonia have the experience.”
Jonokol grinned at his admission. “You are not alone in that feeling, Jondalar. Most people would rather stay firmly in this world. Come, let me show you something else before we have to get serious.”
The artist acolyte led them to another area on the right side of the passage, where many more stalagmites and stalacrites than usual had formed. The wall was covered with the calcareous formations, but on top of the concretions had been painted two horses that incorporated them to create the effect of a long shaggy winter coat. The one behind was leaping in a very animated way.
“These are very lively,” Ayla said, quite intrigued. She had seen horses behave in similar ways.
“When boys first see it, they always say this one in back is ‘leaping for Pleasure,’ “Jondalar said.
“That is one interpretation,” the woman acolyte said. “That could be a male attempting to mount the female in front, but I believe it is purposely ambiguous.”
“Did your teacher paint these, Jonokol?” Ayla asked.
“No. I don’t know who made them,” Jonokol said. “No one does. They were done long ago, when the mammoths were painted. People say they were made by the ancestors, the forebears.”
“There is something I want to show you, Ayla,” the woman said.
“Are you going to show her the vulva?” Jonokol said with some surprise. “That is not usually shown on a first visit.”
“I know, but I think we should make an exception for her,” the other acolyte said, holding up the lamp and leading the way to a place not far from the horses. When she stopped, she lowered the torch to throw light down on a very unusual formation of rock that extended out from the wall and parallel to the floor, but raised up from it.
When Ayla first looked, she noticed an area of stone that had been enhanced with red, but it was only after looking carefully that she understood what it was, and then perhaps only because she had assisted more than one woman who was giving birth. A man might have recognized it before a woman. By accident—or supernatural design—the concretion had naturally formed an exact
replica of a woman’s sexual organ. The shape, the folds, even a depression that matched the entrance to her vagina, everything was there. Only the red color was added, to highlight it, to make sure they could find it easily.
“It is a woman!” Ayla said, astonished. “It is exactly like a woman! I have never seen anything like it.”
“Now do you understand why this cave is so sacred? The Mother herself made this for us. It is proof that this cave is the Entrance to the Mother’s Womb,” said the woman who was training to serve the Great Earth Mother.
“Have you seen this before, Jondalar?” Ayla asked.
“Only once. Zelandoni showed it to me,” he said. “It is remarkable. It is one thing for an artist like Jonokol to look at a cave wall, see the figure that is in it, and bring it to the surface for everyone to see. But this was here just as it is. The added color only makes it a little easier to see.”
“There is one more place I want to show you,” Jonokol said.
He went back the way they had come, and when they reached the enlarged area where everyone was waiting, he hurried past and turned right, back into the main corridor. At what appeared to be the end, on the left was a circular enclosure, and on the wall were concave depressions, the reverse of rounded-out bumps. In some of these, mammoths had been painted in a way that created an unusual illusion. At first glance, they didn’t appear to be depressions; instead, they took on the characteristic of a mammoth’s stomach, rounded outward. Ayla had to look twice, then reach to touch to convince herself that they actually were concave, not convex, dips and not bumps.
“They are remarkable!” Ayla said. “They are painted so that they seem to be opposite of what they are!”
“These are new, aren’t they? I don’t recall seeing them before,” Jondalar said. “Did you paint them, Jonokol?”
“No, but I’m sure you’ll meet the woman who did,” he said.
“Everyone agrees, she is exceptional,” the woman acolyte said. “As is Jonokol, of course. We are lucky to have two artists who are so talented.”
“A few small figures are just beyond here,” Jonokol said, looking at Ayla, “a woolly rhinoceros, a cave lion, an engraved horse, but it’s a very narrow passage and hard to reach. A series of lines marks the end.”
“They are probably ready for us. I think we should go back,” the woman said.
As they turned around and were heading back, Ayla glanced up on the right wall, opposite the chapel-like enclosure with the mammoths and back along the corridor a short way. A strange feeling of uneasiness came over her. She was afraid she knew what was coming. She had felt it before. The first rime was when she made the drink from the special roots for the mog-urs. Iza had told her it was too sacred to be wasted, so she wasn’t allowed to practice making it.
She had already become disoriented, first from chewing the roots to soften them, then from the other preparations she had drunk during that night of special ceremony and celebration. When she noticed that there was some liquid left in the ancient bowl, she drank it so it wouldn’t be wasted. The potent concoction had become stronger from soaking, and the effect on her was devastating. In her confused state, she had followed the light of the fires into the honeycombed depths of the cave, and when she’d come upon Creb and the other mog-urs, she hadn’t been able to go back.
Creb was changed after that night, and she was never the same, either. That was when the mysterious dreams started and the waking moments of strange feelings and enigmatic visions that took her to some other place and sometimes cam as warnings. They had been stronger and more prevalent on their Journey.
And now, as she stared up at the wall, the solid stone suddenly felt tenuous, as though she could see through it or into it. Instead of the firelights barely glinting off the hard surface, the wall was soft and deep and utterly black. And she was there, inside that menacing, nebulous space, and couldn’t find her way out. She felt exhausted and weak, and she hurt deep inside. Then suddenly Wolf appeared. He was running through the tall grass, racing to meet her, coming to find her.
“Ayla! Ayla! Are you all right?” Jondalar said.
18
Ayla! Jondalar said, louder.
“What? Oh, Jondalar. I saw Wolf,” she said, blinking her eyes and shaking her head to try to overcome her dazed confusion and vague sense of foreboding.
“What do you mean, you saw Wolf? He didn’t come with us. Remember? You left him with Folara,” Jondalar said, his forehead creased with fear and concern.
“I know, but he was there,” she said, pointing to the wall. “He came for me when I needed him.”
“He has before,” Jondalar said. “He saved your life, more than once. Maybe you were remembering.”
“Maybe,” Ayla said, but she didn’t really think that was it.
“Did you say you saw a wolf there, on that wall?” Jonokol said.
“Not exactly on it,” Ayla said, “but Wolf was there.”
“I do think we need to go back,” the woman acolyte said, but she was staring at her with a speculative expression.
“There you are,” Zelandoni of the Ninth said when they returned to the widened area of the corridor. “Are you feeling more relaxed now and ready to proceed?” She was smiling, but Ayla had the distinct impression that the large woman was impatient and not entirely pleased.
After her vivid memory óf the time when she drank some liquid that altered her perceptions, and her moment of displacement when she saw Wolf in the wall, Ayla was, if anything, feeling less inclined to drink some kind of beverage that would put her into some other kind of reality, or next world; but she didn’t feel that she had a choice.
“It’s not easy to feel relaxed in a cave like this,” Ayla said, “and it frightens me to think about drinking that tea, but if you think it is necessary, I am willing to do what you want.”
The First smiled again, and this time it seemed genuine. “Your honesty is refreshing, Ayla. Of course it is not easy to relax here. That is not the purpose of this place, and you are probably right to have some fear of this tea. It is very powerful. I was going to explain to you that you will feel strange after you drink it, and its effects are not entirely predictable. The effects usually wear off in a day or so, and I don’t know of anyone who has been harmed by it, but if you would rather not, no one will hold it against you.”
Ayla frowned in thought, wondering if she should refuse, but though she was glad she had been given the choice, it made it harder to say no. “If you want me to, I am willing,” she said.
“I’m sure your participation would be helpful, Ayla,” said the donier. “Yours as well, Jondalar. But I hope you understand, you also have the right to refuse.”
“You know I’ve always been uncomfortable with the spirit world, Zelandoni,” Jondalar said, “and in the last couple of days, what with digging graves and everything, I’ve been much closer to that place than I want to be until the Mother calls me. But I was the one who asked you to help Thonolan, and I can do no less than help you in any way I can. In fact, I’ll be just as glad to get it all over with.”
“Then why don’t you both come over here and sit down on this leather pad, and we’ll proceed,” said the First Among Those Who Served The Great Earth Mother.
When they sat down the young woman ladled the tea into cups. Ayla glanced at Mejera and smiled. She smiled back, shyly, and Ayla realized that she was quite young. She seemed nervous, and Ayla wondered if it was the first time for her to be participating in this kind of ceremony. Probably the zelandonia were using this occasion as a teaching experience.
“Take your time,” they were told by Zelandoni of the Third, who was assisting the acolyte in handing them the cups. “It tastes strong, but with the mint, it’s not too bad.”
Ayla took a sip and thought “not too bad” was a matter of opinion. Under any other circumstances, she would have spit it out. The fire in the hearth was out, but the beverage was rather hot, and she thought that whatever else was in it a
ctually made the mint taste bad. Besides, this wasn’t really a tea. It had been boiled, not steeped, and boiling never did bring out the best qualities of mint. She wondered if there weren’t other, more compatible, innocuous, or healing herbs that might blend with the primary ingredients in a pleasanter way. Licorice root, perhaps, or linden flowers added later, after it was boiled. In any case, it wasn’t a taste to savor, and she finally just drank it down.
She saw that Jondalar had done the same, and so did the First. Then she noticed that Mejera, who had boiled the water and ladled the beverage, had also drunk a cup.
“Jondalar, is this the stone you brought with you from Thonolan’s burial?” the First said, showing him the small, sharp-edged, ordinary-looking gray stone with one iridescent blue opal face.
“Yes, it is,” he said. He would recognize that stone anywhere.
“Good. It is an unusual stone, and I’m sure it still carries a trace of your brother’s elan. Take it in your hand, Jondalar, and then hold hands with Ayla so that the stone is held by both of you. Move close to my seat and with your other hand, take my hand. Now, Mejera, you move up close to me and take my hand, and Ayla, if you will come a little closer, you and Mejera can hold hands.”
Mejera must be a new acolyte, Ayla thought. I wonder if it is her first time for something like this. It’s my first time with the Zelandonii, although that time at the Clan Gathering with Creb was probably similar, and of course, what I did with Mamut was. She found herself recalling her last experience with the old man of the Lion Camp who interceded with the spirit world, and it did not make her feel better. When Mamut found out she’d had some of the special Clan roots that the mog-urs used, he wanted to try them, but he was unfamiliar with their properties and they were stronger than he had thought. They were both nearly lost to the deep void, and Mamut warned her against ever using them again. Though she did have more of those roots with her, she didn’t plan to take them.