by Jean M. Auel
The donier had not talked about preventing life from getting started, and Ayla very much wanted to talk to her about that and perhaps compare notes. Ayla had been midwife at several births. It suddenly occurred to her that she would soon be giving birth herself again. Yes, Zelandoni was right. Pain was a part of living. She had endured great pain in giving birth to Durc, she had almost died, but like the Mother’s great shining son, he had been worth it.
“There is more than physical pain in life,” Zelandoni was saying. Ayla turned her attention back to the woman. “Some pain is worse than physical, but you must accept that, too. As a woman, you have a great responsibility, and a duty that may at times be difficult, but one that you may have to consider someday. There are times when the life you carry is very tenacious. When nothing is able to prevent the pregnancy from progressing, even though you may have decided the life should not have begun. It is always more difficult after the child is born to return it to the Mother, but there are times when it must be done.
“Remember, the ones who are already here must come first. If a second one is born too soon, or is greatly malformed, or other valid reasons, the infant should be returned to Doni. It is the mother’s choice, always, but you must remember your responsibility, and it must be done quickly. As soon as you are able, you must take it outside and lay it on the breast of the Great Earth Mother, as far away as possible from your home, and never near a sacred burial ground or a wandering spirit may try to inhabit the body. Then the spirit will he-come confused and not be able to find its way to the next world. Such spirits can become evil. Is there anyone here who does not understand exactly what I just said?” This was always a very difficult moment in the pre-mating meeting, and Zelandoni allowed some time for the young women to comprehend the harsh revelation, but they had to understand it and accept it.
No one spoke. The young women had heard rumors and talked among themselves about the distressing duty they might be called upon to perform someday, but this was the first time it had been brought up to them directly. Each young woman there hoped fervently that they would never have to expose a baby to the cold breast of the Great Earth Mother to die. It was a somber thought.
A few of the older women sat tight-lipped with pain in their eyes because theirs had been that awful duty to preserve the life of one by giving up another. Though it was still not an easy decision, most women would far rather end a pregnancy early than lose a child to whom she had given birth, or worse, to have to do it herself.
Zelandoni’s comments devastated Ayla. She would never be able to, she thought. Memories of Durc flooded back. He was supposed to have been exposed, and she had no say in it. She recalled with anguish the days spent hiding in the little cave to save his life. They had said he was deformed. But he wasn’t. He was just a mixture, of her and Broud, although Broud was the first to condemn him. If Broud had known every time he forced me that Durc would be the result, Ayla thought, he would never have done it! Ayla was tempted to ask why life was not prevented from starting in the first place, but she didn’t trust herself to speak.
Marthona was puzzled by the obvious distress Ayla was feeling. True, it was not an easy thought to bear, but Ayla’s coming baby had little likelihood of having to be given back to the Mother. Maybe it’s just that she’s pregnant, she thought. She must be very sensitive.
There was not much more information to impart. Prohibitions on sharing the Gift of Pleasure when a woman was close to delivery, for a certain period of time afterward, and before, during, or after certain ceremonies. Other duties of a mated woman, the times when it was necessary to fast, other times when certain foods were not to be eaten.
There were also bans against mating with certain people, such as close cousins. Jondalar had explained about close cousins, and when it was mentioned, she had glanced at Joplaya in the unobtrusive, all but unseen way of Clan women. She knew the reason for the aura of sadness that shrouded the beautiful young woman. But she’d heard several people mention kinship signs since they arrived at the Summer Meeting, and she didn’t know what they were talking about. What did it mean to have an incompatible kinship sign? The other women knew all about bans and prohibitions, and she didn’t want to say anything in front of them. She decided to wait until most people left before she asked her question.
“There is one other thing,” the First said, concluding. “Some of you may have already heard that a request was received to delay the Matrimonial a few days.” There was a moan of regret from a few of the women. “Dalanar and his Cave of Lanzadonii planned to come to the Zelandonii Summer Meeting so the daughter of his mate could be mated at our First Matrimonial.” There was whispering and murmuring from the assembly. “You may be pleased to know that no delay will be necessary. Joplaya is here with her mother, Jerika. Joplaya and Echozar will be mated with the rest of you.
“Remember everything that was spoken of here. It is important. The beginning hunt of this Summer Meeting will start tomorrow morning, and if all goes well, the Matrimonial will follow soon after. I will see you all then,” said the One Who Was First.
As the meeting was breaking up, Ayla heard the word “flathead” a few times and “abomination” at least once. It did not please her, but it was obvious that many were eager to leave and tell someone else about the fact that Joplaya was promised to the half-flathead man Echozar.
Many of the women remembered him. He had come to their Summer Meeting once before, the last time that the Lanzadonii came. Marthona remembered that there had been some unpleasantness concerning Echozar and his mixed spirits at that meeting and she hoped it would not come up again. It reminded her of the other Summer Meeting that was unpleasant for her, the one that Jondalar had missed when he went on his Journey with his brother and left Marona waiting for a Matrimonial partner that did not arrive. She did mate that summer, at the Second Matrimonial, just before they went home, but it didn’t last. Now, Marona was again available, but Jondalar had brought a woman home with him, a woman that was far better suited to her son for all her foreign ways, if only because she genuinely cared for him and he loved her.
Zelandoni had a passing thought of forbidding the women from talking about anything that was said at the meeting, but she knew there was no way to enforce such an edict. It was just too juicy a piece of news to expect people to keep it to themselves. The First noticed that Ayla and those with her did not seem to be in a hurry and were perhaps waiting to talk to her. She was still Zelandoni of the Ninth Cave. When nearly everyone except the zelandonia was gone, Ayla approached her.
“I have something I’d like to ask you, Zelandoni,” she said.
“All right,” the woman said.
“You were talking about certain bans and prohibitions, people that you could or could not mate. I know that someone can’t mate a ‘close cousin.’ Jondalar told me that Joplaya is his close cousin—sometimes he says hearth cousin—because they were both born to the hearth of the same man,” Ayla said. She avoided looking at Joplaya, but Marthona and Jerika glanced at each other.
“That’s correct,” Zelandoni of the Ninth said.
“Just since we arrived at the Summer Meeting, I’ve been hearing people talk about something else. You did, too. You said a person shouldn’t mate someone with an incompatible kinship sign. What is a kinship sign?” Ayla asked.
The other zelandonia had listened for a while, but when it appeared that Ayla was just asking for information, they began talking quietly amongst themselves or going to their personal space within the lodge.
“That is a little more difficult to explain,” Zelandoni said. “A person is born with a kinship sign. In a way, it’s part of one’s elan, one’s life-force. People know their kinship signs almost from the time they are born, just as they know their elandon. Remember, ail animals are children of the Mother. She birthed them, too, as it says in the Mother’s Song:
With a thunderous roar Her stones split asunder,
And from the great cave that opened deep u
nder.
She birthed once again from Her cavernous room,
And brought forth the Children of Earth from Her womb.
‘From the Mother forlorn, more children were born.
‘Each child was different, some were large and some small,
Some could walk and some fly some could swim and some
crawl.
But each form was perfect, each spirit complete,
Each one was a model whose shape could repeat.
‘The Mother was willing The green earth was filling.’
“The kinship sign is symbolized by an animal, by the spirit of an animal,” Zelandoni said.
“You mean like a totem?” Ayla interjected. “My totem is the Cave Lion. Everyone in the Clan has a totem.”
“Perhaps,” the First said, considering thoughtfully for a moment. “But I think totems are something else. Not everybody has one, for one thing. They are important, but they are not quite as important as an elan, for example, though it is true that one must go through some trial or struggle to gain a totem. Usually you are chosen by a totem, but everyone has a kinship sign, and many people have the same sign. A totem can be any animal spirit, a cave lion, a golden eagle, a grasshopper, but certain animals have a kind of power. Their spirits have a force of a certain kind, like a life-force, but it’s different. The zelandonia call them power animals, but they have more force in the next world than in this one. Sometimes we can draw upon that force for protection when we travel in the spirit world, or to cause certain things to happen,” the One Who Was First said.
Ayla was frowning with concentration, trying to remember something. “The Mamut did that!” she said. “I remember at a ceremony, he made strange things happen. I think he took a piece of the spirit world and brought it into this one, but he had to fight to control it.”
Zelandoni’s expression showed her surprise and admiration. “I think I would have liked to know your Mamut,” she said, then she continued. “Most people don’t think too much about their kinship signs, except when they are thinking about mating. One should not mate with someone whose kinship sign is in opposition to theirs, which is probably why it’s brought up more at Summer Meetings, where matings are planned and mating ceremonies, Matrimonials, take place. That’s why the common name for one’s power animal is a kinship sign. The name is misleading, but it’s how most people think of it, because they don’t deal with the spirit world, and the only time it has a bearing on their lives is when planning to mate.”
“No one has asked me about kinship signs,” Ayla said.
“It only has meaning for one who was born a Zelandonii. Those who are born elsewhere may have kinship signs or power animals, but they don’t affiliate with Zelandonii power animals, as a rule. Once a person becomes a Zelandonii, a kinship sign may assert itself, but it will never be one that is in opposition to the mate she already has. The power animal of her mate won’t let it.”
Marthona, Jerika, and Joplaya were listening just as intently. Jerika had not been born Zelandonii, and she was curious about the customs and beliefs of her mate. “We are Lanzadonii, not Zelandonii. Does that mean if a Lanzadonii wants to mate with a Zelandonii, the kinship signs don’t matter?”
“In time, they may not, but many of you, including Dalanar, were born Zelandonii. The ties are still close, so they do have to be considered,” the First said.
“I was never a Zelandonii, but I am now Lanzadonii. So is Joplaya. Since Echozar was not born to either one, it doesn’t matter, but doesn’t a daughter get her kinship sign from her mother? What is Joplaya’s kinship sign?” Jerika asked.
“Usually a daughter has the same kinship sign as her mother, but not always. I understand that you have requested a Zelandoni to move to your Cave and become your first Lanzadoni. I think it will be a wonderful opportunity for someone. Whoever it is will be well trained—I plan to make sure of that—and will be able to discover the kinship signs for all your people,” the donier said.
“What is Jondalar’s kinship sign, and how can I get one to give to my daughter, if I have one?” Ayla asked.
“If you want to find out, we can look into it. Jondalar’s power animal is a horse, like Marthona, but though he has the same mother, Joharran’s is different. His is a bison. Bison and horses are in opposition,” Zelandoni said.
“But Jondalar and Joharran don’t oppose each other. They get along well,” Ayla said with a frown.
The big woman smiled. “For mating, Ayla. They are opposing kinship signs.”
“Oh. I guess they’re not likely to mate,” she said, and smiled, too. “You said they are power animals. Since my totem is the Cave Lion, do you think that would be my power animal? He is powerful, and his spirit has protected me before.”
“Things are different in the spirit world,” the First said. “Power means different things. Meat-eaters are powerful, but they tend to keep to themselves, either alone or in small packs, and other animals stay away from them. When you enter the spirit world, it is usually because you need to learn something, to find something out. The animal that can reach farther, that has access to, maybe I should say that can communicate with, many other animals, has more power, or more useful power. It depends what you go there for. Sometimes you do want to seek out meat-eating animals because of their special qualities.”
“Why are a bison and a horse opposing kinship signs?” Ayla asked.
“Probably because in this world they tend to cover the same ground at different times, so there is some overlap, some competition for food. Aurochs, on the other hand, eat the tender new greens, or just the green tops of the grasses, leaving behind the stalks and roughage, which horses seem to prefer, so they are compatible. The two most opposing power animals are bison and aurochs, but when you think about it, it is logical. Most plant-eaters tolerate each other, but bison and aurochs can’t stand to be in the same meadow. They avoid each other and have been known to fight, especially when females come into the season of their Pleasures. They are too similar. Aurochs bulls are affected when they smell a bison female in heat, and bison bulls will occasionally go after a female aurochs. Someone with an aurochs kinship sign should never mate someone with a bison sign,” Zelandoni said.
“What is your power animal, Zelandoni?” Ayla asked.
“You should almost be able to guess,” the woman said, smiling. “I am a mammoth when I go into the spirit world. When you go, Ayla, you will not look the same as you do here. You will go as your power animal. That’s when you will find out what it is.”
Ayla wasn’t sure she liked hearing Zelandoni talking about her going into the spirit world, but Marthona wondered why Zelandoni was being so forthcoming. She didn’t usually go into such detailed and in-depth answers. Jondalar’s mother had the distinct sense that Zelandoni was trying to tempt Ayla, to entice her with fascinating bits of knowledge that were available only to those in the zelandonia.
Then she understood. Ayla was already considered by most people to be some kind of zelandoni, and the First wanted her on the inside where she could exercise some control, not out of her reach where she could create problems. But Ayla had already declared that she wanted only to get mated and have children and be like everyone else. She didn’t want to join the zelandonia, and knowing her son, Marthona realized that he wouldn’t particularly want her to be zelandoni, either. But he did have a tendency to be attracted to women who were. It was going to be an interesting game to watch.
They were getting ready to go, but as they were leaving, Ayla turned back. “I have another question,” she said. “When you were talking about babies, and causing miscarriages to end an unwanted pregnancy, why did you not say something about preventing the life from starting in the first place?”
“There is no way. Only Doni has the power to begin life, and only She can prevent it from starting,” Zelandoni of the Fourteenth said. She had been standing nearby, listening to the conversation.
“But there is!” Ayla said.
29
The First gave the young woman a sharp look. Perhaps she should have spoken with Ayla earlier, in more depth. Was it possible she knew of a way to thwart the will of Doni? This was the wrong way to bring it up, but it was too late now. The zelandonia who were standing nearby were talking loudly and gesticulating among themselves, some were just as agitated as the Fourteenth. A few were saying it was wrong. The rest were coming back to the central area to find out what was going on. Ayla didn’t know her statement would cause such a stir.
The three women with her were standing back and watching. Marthona looked on with sardonic amusement, though her expression remained neutral. Joplaya was astounded that the esteemed zelandonia could quarrel so ardently, but was just as shocked as they were. Jerika listened with great interest, but she had already decided to speak with Ayla in private. Her announcement to the zelandonia could be the solution to a serious problem that had been worrying the woman for some time.
When she first met him, Jerika had fallen completely and irrevocably in love with the handsome giant of a man who was so charmed by the exquisitely dainty yet fiercely independent young woman. He was a gentle man and consummate lover in spite of his size, and she reveled in their Pleasures. When he asked her to be his mate, she accepted without hesitation, and when she discovered that she was pregnant, she was delighted. But the baby she carried was too big for her tiny frame, and the delivery nearly killed her and her daughter. It damaged her internally, and she never became pregnant again, much to her regret, and relief.
Now her daughter had chosen a man who was, though not as tall, if anything more robust, with powerful muscles and huge bones. Though Joplaya was tall, she was thin and rather delicate with, Jerika had carefully noticed, narrow hips. From the time she realized who her daughter would probably end up choosing, and therefore be the one whose spirit would most likely be chosen by the Mother to start any children she might have, she worried that Joplaya would suffer her fate, or worse. She suspected that Joplaya was already pregnant, since she had started having violent bouts of morning sickness on the trip, but she refused her mother’s suggestion to end the pregnancy.