by Jean M. Auel
“You are right, Jondecam. I am ugly. I can’t imagine why this beautiful woman would want me, but I’m not going to question my luck,” Echozar said, then he smiled, and it lit his eyes.
Seeing a smile on a Clan face always startled Ayla. People of the Clan didn’t smile. To them an expression that bared the teeth was seen as a threat or a nervous display of subservience. But somehow the expression changed the configuration of Echozar’s face, eased the strong Clan features and made him seem much more approachable.
“Actually, I’m glad you’re here, Echozar,” Jondecam said. “Next to this big brute,” he pointed to Jondalar, “everyone looks bad, but you make me and this youngster look good! The women, on the other hand, are all beautiful.”
Jondecam was so ingenuous, he made everyone smile and relax. Levela looked at him with love in her eyes. “Why, thank you, Jondecam,” she said. “You have to admit, though, that Echozar’s eyes are as unusual as Jondalar’s, and no less striking. I have never seen such beautiful dark eyes, and the way he looks at Joplaya makes me understand why they are mating. If he looked at me that way, it would be hard to turn him down.”
“I like the way Echozar looks,” Ayla said, “but yes, his eyes are his best feature.”
“If we’re all going to say what we think, and get it out in the open,” Jondecam said, “you have an unusual way of speaking, Ayla. It takes a little getting used to, but I like it. It makes people take notice and listen. You must come from very far away, though.”
“Farther away than you can imagine,” Jondalar said.
“And I want to ask one more thing,” Jondecam added. “Where is that wolf? Other people have talked about meeting him, and I was hoping to meet him.”
Ayla smiled at the man. He was so straightforward and honest, she couldn’t help but like him, and so relaxed and comfortable with himself, he made everyone else feel the same way. “Wolf is with Marthona. I thought it might be easier on him and everyone else if he stayed away. But if you stop by the Ninth Cave’s camp, I’ll be happy to introduce him to you, and I have a feeling he will like you, too,” she said. “All of you are welcome,” she said, looking at everyone, including the young couple, who were actually smiling in a natural and relaxed way.
“Yes, by all means,” Jondalar added. He liked these couples that they had met, but particularly Levela, who was an outgoing and caring young woman, and Jondecam, who reminded him of his brother Thonolan.
They noticed that the First was standing in the center of the lodge, silently waiting for everyone’s attention. When she had it, she spoke to them all, telling them of the seriousness of the commitment they were making, repeating some of the things she had said to the women earlier, and giving them some instructions on what was expected of them at the Matrimonial. Then some of the other zelandonia told them where they were supposed to stand and explained where to walk and what to say They went through a rehearsal of the steps and movements.
Before they left, the First spoke to them again. “Most of you know this, but I want to say it now so it is clear. After the Matrimonial, for a period of half of a moon’s cycle—approximately fourteen days using the counting words—the newly mated couples are not allowed to speak to anyone except each other. Only in the case of dire emergency are you to communicate with anyone else, and then only to a donier, who will decide if it was important enough to break the ban. I want you to understand why this is done. It is a way of forcing a couple together to see if they can really live with each other. At the end of the time, if they decide that their mating is incompatible, any couple can decide to break the tie with no consequences. It would be as if they had never mated.”
The Zelandoni Who Was First knew most of the couples looked forward to the ban, delighted with the idea of spending time together totally involved with only each other. But at the end, she knew, there would likely be one or two couples who would quietly decide to go their separate ways. She looked carefully at each person trying to judge which couples might last. She was also trying to assess which of the couples would not last even fourteen days. Then she wished them all well and told them the Matrimonial would be the following evening.
Ayla and Jondalar were not concerned that their time alone would prove their union incompatible. They had already spent the better part of a year with only each other for company, except for the brief stops at a few Caves along the route of their Journey. They both looked forward to their period of forced intimacy, especially since there would be no pressures to keep traveling.
After leaving the lodge, the four couples walked together toward their camps. Janida and Peridal turned off first. Before they left, Janida held out both hands to Levela. “I want to thank you,” she said, “for including us and making us welcome. When we walked in, it felt like everybody was staring at us, and I didn’t know what to do. But I noticed when we left, that people were looking at Joplaya and Echozar, and Ayla and Jondalar, and even you and Jondecam. Maybe everyone was staring at everyone else, but you were the one who made me feel a part of something, not separate and outside of it.” She leaned forward and brushed Levela’s cheek with hers.
“Janida is an intelligent young woman,” Jondalar said after they continued on. “Peridal is lucky to get her, and I hope he appreciates her.”
“There does seem to be some real affection between them,” Levela said. “I wonder why he was resisting the mating?”
“I would guess the resistance was more from his mother than from him,” Jondecam said.
“I think you are right,” Ayla said. “Peridal is very young. His mother still has a lot of influence on him. But so is Janida. How many years can each of them count?”
“I think both can count thirteen years. She just barely, he is some moons older, closer to a fourteen-year,” Levela said.
“I am an old man next to him,” Jondalar said. “I can count a double handful more, twenty-three years. Peridal hasn’t even had a chance to live in a fa’lodge yet.”
“And I am an old woman,” Ayla said. “I can count nineteen years.”
“That’s not so old, Ayla. I can count twenty years,” Joplaya said.
“What about you. Echozar?” Jondecam said. “How many years can you count?”
“I have no idea,” he said. “No one ever told me, or even kept track, as far as I know.”
“Have you ever tried to think back and remember each year?” Levela asked.
“I have a good memory, but childhood to me is a blur, each season just fading into the next,” Echozar said.
“I can count seventeen years,” Levela said.
“I’m a twenty-year,” Jondecam volunteered. “And here’s our camp. We will see you tomorrow.” They waved farewell with the beckoning come-back-to-see-us-again motion to the four who continued toward the combined camp of Zelandonii and Lanzadonii.
Ayla woke early on the day she and Jondalar were to be mated. The faint light that preceded the rising sun glimmered feebly through the cracks between the nearly opaque panels of the lodge, highlighting the seams and outlining the opening. She lay still, trying to distinguish details in the shadowy shapes silhouetted against the walls.
She could hear Jondalar’s regular breathing. She raised up quietly and looked at the face of the man sleeping beside her in the dim light. The fine straight nose, the square jaw, the high forehead. She remembered the first time she had studied his face while he slept, in the cave of her valley. He was the first man of her own kind she had seen, that she could recall, and he had been badly wounded. She didn’t know if he would live, but she thought then that he was beautiful.
She thought so still, although she had learned since that men were not usually called beautiful. Her love for the man swelled to fill her whole being. It was almost more than she could bear, almost painful, excruciatingly full, wonderfully warm. She could hardly contain herself. She got up quietly, dressed quickly, and slipped outside.
She looked out over the camp. From the slightly higher elevation
of their campsite she could see The River Valley spread out before her. In the near darkness, the lodges appeared as black mounds rising out of the shadowy earth, each round structure with its center pole supporting the multi-dwelling units. The camp was still now, so different from the bustling, noisy, boisterous place it would be later.
Ayla turned toward the small creek and followed it upstream. It was growing perceptibly lighter, blotting out more of the twinkling sparks in the sky. The horses in their fenced-in enclosure noticed her approach and nickered softly in greeting. She veered toward them, ducking under the poles strung between posts that defined their area. She put her arm around the hay-colored mare’s neck.
“Today is the day Jondalar and I will be mated, Whinney. It seems so long ago that you brought him bleeding and almost dead to the cave. We’ve come such a long way since then. We’ll never see that valley again,” Ayla said to the horse.
Racer nudged her, wanting his share of attention. Ayla patted him, then hugged the strong, thick neck of the brown stallion. Wolf appeared from out of the woods, returning from his nightly hunting foray. He loped toward the young woman surrounded by the horses.
“There you are, Wolf,” she said. “Where have you been? You were gone this morning.” She caught a blur of movement among the trees out of the corner of her eye. She looked up just in time to see a second wolf, a dark one, dodge behind the thick underbrush. She bent over and cupped Wolf’s head between both her hands, massaging his furry jowls. “Have you found yourself a mate, or a friend?” she said. “Do you want to go back to the wild like Baby did? I would miss you, but I wouldn’t want to keep you from a mate of your own.” The wolf growled softly in contentment as Ayla continued rubbing him. He seemed to have no inclination at the moment to return to the shadowy figure in the woods.
The top edge of the sun appeared on the horizon. Ayla smelled the smoke of morning campfires and looked downstream. A few early risers were moving about now. The camp was coming to life.
She saw Jondalar coming toward her in long strides. His brow was wrinkled in concern. The expression was familiar. He is a worrier, she thought. She had become familiar with every line and movement of his face. She often watched him surreptitiously, her eyes always seeking him out wherever he was or whatever he was doing. He knotted his brow the same way when he was concentrating on a new piece of flint, as though trying to see the minute particles in the homogeneous material so he would know in advance which way it would shear. She loved all his expressions, but most of all she loved to see him smiling in his gentle teasing way, or looking at her with his eyes dilated, full of love and desire.
“I woke up and you were gone, Ayla,” Jondalar said as he approached.
“I woke up early and couldn’t go back to sleep,” Ayla said, “so I came outside. I think Wolf has a mate hiding in the woods. That’s why he was gone this morning.”
“That’s a good reason to be gone. If I had a mate, I wouldn’t mind running off with her to the woods,” he said, a smile erasing the worried frown. He put his arms around her and pulled her close to him, and looked down at her. Her hair was still tousled from sleep, falling loosely down her shoulders and framing her face in a mass of thick, dark blond waves. She had begun to wear her hair coiled neatly around her head in the manner of the women of his Cave, but he still loved it best when it was loose and free, the way it was the first time he saw her standing naked in the bright sunlight on the ledge in front of her cave in the valley, after she had bathed in the river below.
“You’ll have one before this day is through,” she said. “Where would you like to run off with her?”
“To the end of my life, Ayla,” he said as he kissed her.
“There you are! Remember, this is your mating day. No Pleasures until after the ceremony.” It was Joharran. “Marthona wants you, Ayla. She asked me to look for you.”
Ayla went back to the tent. Marthona had a cup of tea waiting for her. “This will have to do for your breakfast, Ayla. You are supposed to fast today.”
“This is fine. I don’t think I could eat today anyway. Thank you, Marthona.” She watched Jondalar leave with Joharran carrying several bundles and packs.
Jondalar saw Joharran signal to him from across a field as he was about to go into the lodge that he was sharing with several of the men who were going to be mated that night. Most of them had some relational tie with each other, and all of them had one or two of their closest friends or relatives with them. He had just taken all of the things that he would need for the fourteen-day trial period to a small tent that he had set up away from the Summer Meeting camps, near the back of the hill where the new cave was. Although he felt he could have brought the things Ayla would need as well, someone else would bring them later, as was customary.
He waited for his brother just outside the entrance to the lodge. The place was not much different from the bachelor fa’lodges he had often shared with young men at Summer Meetings, young men who wanted to get away from the watchful eyes of their mothers, mothers’ mates, and other people in authority. Jondalar recalled the summers spent in such a place with rowdy friends and often, temporarily, by various young women. There was usually good-natured rivalry between the lodges and the young men within them over who could entice the most young women to stay with them. The goal seemed to be for each man to have a different woman every night, except for the nights when they reserved it for the men only.
On those nights, no one slept until dawn. They drank barma, and wine, when they could get it. Some brought various parts of certain plants that were more usually reserved for ceremonial usage. The young men spent the night singing, dancing, telling stories, and gaming, usually mixed with a lot of laughter. On the nights when they invited women, the gatherings usually broke up sooner as couples or mixed groups left the party early for more private entertainment.
The men who were about to be mated were always subjected to jokes and comments from the others in bachelor fa’lodges, something Jondalar took in good humor—he had doled out his share—but the lodge he stayed in now was quieter and the men more serious. They were all facing the same event, and it wasn’t quite the joking matter that it was to the young men who were still uncommitted.
All the men who were mating had been banned from the zelandonia lodge where the women were staying, the couples were prohibited from contact with each other until the Matrimonial. While the men were also in lodges away from their camps, they had more freedom. They were not restricted from moving about, except to stay away from the women to whom they were Promised. The men stayed in several smaller dwellings, but all the women, and their close friends and relatives, shared the one lodge. Though the zelandonia lodge was bigger than all the others, it was more crowded than the men’s lodges, but the spontaneous outbursts and laughter that emanated from it always made the men curious.
“Jondalar!” Joharran called out to him as he neared. “Marthona wants to see you. At the zelandonia lodge, where the women are.”
Jondalar was surprised at the summons, but he hurried, wondering what his mother wanted. He tapped at the post outside the entrance of the lodge, and when the flap moved aside, he couldn’t resist craning his neck, trying to see in, hoping to catch a glimpse of Ayla. But Marthona was careful to close the opening behind her. She had a package in her hands, a package that was very familiar to him. It was the one that Ayla had so adamantly insisted on carrying with her on their entire long Journey. He recognized the covering of thin hides tied with cords. He had often been curious about it, but she had always evaded his questions.
“Ayla insisted that I give this to you,” Marthona said, shoving the package at him. “You know you are not supposed to have any contact with each other until the ceremony, not even indirectly, but Ayla said she would have given it to you earlier if she had known. She was very upset, almost in tears, and ready to break the prohibition herself if I didn’t give it to you. She told me to tell you it is for the Matrimonial.”
�
��Thank you, mother,” Jondalar said.
Marthona closed the opening before he could say another word. He walked away, looking at the package as he returned to the lodge. He hefted it to judge the weight, wondering what it could be. It was soft, but seemed rather bulky. That was one reason he couldn’t understand why she insisted on keeping it whenever they needed to lighten their load and make more room. Had Ayla carried this the entire way just to give it to him for their Matrimonial? he thought. It seemed too important to casually open it out in the open. He wanted to find a more private place.
Jondalar was glad the lodge was empty when he went in with Ayla’s mysterious package. He fumbled for a while, trying to untie the cord, but the knots resisted his efforts and he finally cut it with his knife. He peeled back the protective layers, then looked. It was white. He lifted it out and held it up. It was a beautiful, pure white leather tunic, decorated only with the black-tipped white tails of ermines. She said it was for the Matrimonial. Had she made him a Matrimonial tunic?
He had been offered several outfits to wear and had selected one that was elaborately decorated in the Zelandonii style. But this one was entirely different. The white tunic was cut more in the style of the Mamutoi, but their clothing was usually quite intricately decorated, too, often with beads of ivory, shells, and various other materials. This one had no decoration at all, except for a few ermine tails, but it was genuinely outstanding because of its color. The tunic was a pure, shining white, the most difficult of all shades to color leather, and stunning in its simplicity, because there was no decoration to detract from the purity of the color.
When did she make this? he thought. It could not have been made while they were traveling. There was no time, and besides, she had carried that package with her from the beginning. She must have made it the winter they were living with the Mamutoi, with the Lion Camp. But that was the winter she had Promised to mate with Ranec. Jondalar held the tunic up to himself. It was definitely his size, it would have been much too big for Ranec, who was a shorter man with a more compact body.