"I don't think I've ever seen you miss a shot," she said.
I just shrugged again and she laughed, bouncing the quarter off the table. It hit the glass and bounced back into her lap.
"Aw, dammit," she threw back the shot and poured another. She tried again, failing, and threw up her hands. "Aw, come on."
"Drink it up," Nancy laughed. Swopes stuck her tongue out at her and threw the shot back before refilling her drink.
The lights dimmed for a moment before coming back up.
"Man, this place sucks," Julia said, sighing.
"Was worse last year," I said.
"Holy shit, he speaks," Julia laughed. "How so?"
"Burned down," I told her. I motioned at the coin she'd laid on the table. "Play."
Nancy reached over, thumping my thigh with the bottom of her fist. "My Ant here was in the barracks last year when it burned down," she thumped my leg again. "Got himself some burns across his shoulders and arms."
"No shit?" Julia asked. She sipped off her drink.
Bomber got up and turned on the stereo, filling the room with the sounds of Mr. Roboto.
"What was that like?" Julia asked.
"Bad," was all I said.
"Well, I'm buzzed," John said, sitting down. He let out a loud burp.
"Trick or treat," Nancy laughed, hitting his thigh with the bottom of her fist. "Gimme a square."
John held out his pack of cigarettes and Nancy took them, lighting one. I reached out, took it from her, then took a deep drag while she lit another.
John took that one and she glared as she snapped the lighter shut, waited a second, and lit her own.
Lighting three cigarettes in a row was bad luck.
Mainly because a sniper would have enough time to zero on the group, kill the third person.
"Keep playing?" Julia asked, flipping the quarter on her knuckles.
"Naw," John said, leaning back in the chair. He blew smoke rings at the ceiling. "Don't really feel like playing no more. Ant's got his groove on."
I smiled at him and he shrugged, waving his hand lazily. Nancy sucked on her finger and reached it toward Bomber slowly, her wettened finger end gleaming in the light.
"You know I saw them, Styx, a few years back," Julia said.
"Really?" Nancy looked up from where she was trying to stick her finger into John's ear. John looked over, saw what Nancy was doing, and smacked her hand.
"Yeah. Felt good," She smiled. "Danced my ass off in the pit."
Nancy sighed deeply. "Must have been nice. Wish we had more time for going to the club," She said. "I miss dancing. Atlas doesn't really give us time for dancing."
"Yeah, but once it's loaded and finished, you guys will get more time off," Julia smiled. "Out at Titan we've got time to even come back on weekends since we got it loaded," She shimmied in the chair for a moment, dancing in place and laughing. "Weekdays out at Titan, weekends dancing at the Green Goose."
The lights dimmed again as something went crack somewhere deeper in the barracks.
"Ugh, I hate this place," Nancy said, getting up and moving over to sit on the empty bed. She looked at me. "So, who's supposed to be living in here with you?"
I just shrugged.
"They didn't tell you?" She asked me.
I just shook my head.
Nancy shook her head, moving over to the door. She opened it, took a look at the typewritten card. "Private First Class Sharp, Third Squad, First Magazine Platoon," she read. She turned back to me. "Hmph, never heard of them."
"Third squad? That's FSTS-422, Seraphim," Julia said. She shook her head. "Place is run by Sergeant Gates. Site's not bad, only like thirty bunkers, but jeez, what an asshole."
"Why?" John asked, leaning against the dresser. "What's up with him?"
She gave half a snarl. "He's a woman hater. Nancy knows what I'm talking about."
I looked over and Nancy nodded. "He's the type who acts like the only way females get rank is sucking dick. Thinks we aren't good enough to be in the Army."
"Fucker likes to grab ass when nobody's looking," Julia said, nodding along. She pulled down the last of her glass. "We had a Class-A inspection back in July," she said softly. She stood up, walked over to where the row of crystal glasses were on the shelf. She tapped one and looked at me. "You mind?" I shook my head and she got it down, heading back to the table.
"Typical, you know? We had a new CO, Colonel what's his face, the one with the janked up mouth, remember him?" We all nodded as Julia picked up a Coke. "Had us females dress in our skirts and panty-hose."
"I'm not going to like this story, am I?" Bomber asked, reaching out and running his finger along the top of the wooden dresser.
"Probably not," Nancy said.
Julia poured Jack Daniels into the glass. Her face had gone hard, distant, and her tone was detached. "Son of a bitch waited till I was heading up the stairs in front of him and tried to stick his fingers in my twat."
"Yeah, I don't like this story," Bomber's accent had gotten thick.
"Yeah. I asked around, he does that shit all the time. Calls it 'playing stink finger' when he's laughing about it," Julia said. She set the empty can down and picked up her Jack and Coke, sipping at it as she moved over to sit on the bed. She looked at me. "Grinding your teeth, Stillwater."
I willed myself to relax as Nancy put her hand on my shoulder. "Ease down, Ant," she told me. She looked over. "You too, John," Nancy looked at Julia. "Might wanna change the subject."
"Yeah," she said softly.
John visibly shook himself, opening the fridge and pulling out a beer. He used the churchkey on his key ring to open it, flicking the bottle cap toward the trash. He missed and I grabbed it on the second bounce, tossing it in myself.
"See, never misses," John said, laughing.
I shrugged. "Lizard," I told them.
Julia frowned. "Lizard?" she asked.
John chuckled. "Ant's way of explaining how his instincts work," He said. "Our boy, here, Ant, he got some weird wiring in his head."
Julia looked at me. "What, you one the lizard people?" she snickered.
I shook my head. "No. Just, it's a mental construct, you know? A meditation thing. When I was a kid, I read a book," I said.
"A whole book?" Nancy asked sweetly. I glared at her and she laughed. "Read it, or ate it?"
"Both," I smiled. "Anyway, the book said you should visualize how your mind works. Well, most our instincts are from the R-Complex, little piece of thinky-goo on top of the brain stem. Runs most of the hardwired stuff."
Julia shook her head. "I know what an R-Complex is, Ant."
"Right. Well, the lizard, that's my R-Complex. I was practicing this thing called biofeedback. Let's you control your heart rate, breathing, stuff like that. I just visualized it as a little lizard inside a computer control room," I told her. When I finished, I picked up my drink and sipped at it.
"Does it work?" She asked.
I nodded. "Helps me control my temper," I told her.
She gave me a funny look. "Temper? You?" She shook her head. "Your brother William, him I could believe has a temper. You? I've seen Henley chew you up one side and down the other and not even change expression."
I just shrugged. "Self-control. Self-discipline."
"Make no mistake, Ant got hisself a temper on him," Bomber said slowly. "Don't let that silent act fool ya none."
Julia looked over at John while I busied myself putting out my cigarette.
"You hear about the sniper incident out at Atlas this summer?" John asked quietly.
The lights flickered, the stereo cutting off again.
"Yeah. Killed your crew medic, didn't it?" Julia said.
"Yeah," Nancy said softly. "Gut shot her. She drowned in her own blood on the medivac."
John nodded, half turning to hit the power button on the stereo again. "Ant and me, we run out into the 1K Zone, right?" Julia nodded and John continued. "Ant sees the sniper, tackles him. Rolls around o
n the ground with him, right?"
Again, Julia nodded.
The lights flickered again. Above us there was a shout in German and the crash of boots on the floor.
We all flinched.
"Ant here, he draws his boot knife, slits that bastard's throat," John said slowly.
"Good," Julia said.
John nodded, tapping his class ring on the side of the bottle. "Well, that ain't the end of it none, Julia."
Julia looked at me and I just shrugged, sipping on my glass of Wild Turkey. She looked back at John. "It isn't?"
"Not hardly," Nancy said. "Bastard had it coming. Shot Westlin."
Julia looked at me. "You're grinding your teeth again, Ant."
I closed my eyes, inhaling slowly through my nose, my tongue pressed against the roof of my mouth. I exhaled slowly willing myself to relax.
"Ant here, he slits that Soviet bastard's throat, then grabs his hands," John told her. The lights flickered again and when they came back the sixty-watt bulb was dimmer. "Held his hands so he couldn't grab the wound. Let the bastard choke on it."
Julia nodded.
Nancy leaned over and kissed my cheek. "That's our Ant."
"Three one seven in life and death, baby," John said, saluting with the drink.
"Life and death," Nancy and I replied, saluting back with our drinks.
"I'll drink to that," Julia said. She pulled down the rest of her drink, set my glass down and stood up. "Welp, gonna hit the rack," She wobbled slightly and laughed. "Lots masturbating to do."
That made us laugh.
"I'll walk you back to Titty Territory," Nancy said, standing up.
"Gonna get going too," John said. He pushed off from the dresser. "See ya in the morning, Ant. We got CQ together."
My three friends left. I locked the door behind them, walking back into my room. It was only 2200 hours and I was pretty thickly buzzed. I put everything away, using the sink in the bathroom to clean the glasses.
After they left I took a quick shower, stripped naked, and climbed in my top bunk. I slid under the two wool blankets and the handmade quilt, putting my hands behind my neck and staring at the ceiling.
After a few minutes there was a solid, demanding knock at the door. I sighed, got down, wrapping my blanket around me. The tile floor was cold under my feet as I padded over to the door, unlocking and opening it.
Nancy stood there, smiling at me.
"You better be naked," she said, pushing into my room. I closed and locked the door behind her.
"Why?" I asked, even though I knew the answer.
She stepped into me, using her hands to push open the blanket.
"It's fucking time, baby."
Tits & Blood
Funny, the little thing you remember.
Like Swopes's crooked eyetooth
Part of me is glad she never saw
What I became in the dark and cold
2/19th Company Area
Restricted Area, Fulda Gap
Western Germany, Europe
01 November, 1984
"Whatcha lookin' at, Ant?" Bomber asked me.
"Nothing," I said. I was staring out the window, at the brick walk in front of the barracks. There were two lamp posts at the end, bracketing it. With a slight start I realized that they were the same light posts that had been there when the barracks had first burnt down.
"All right," He said slowly. I glanced at him. He was sitting with his feet up on the counter, tapping a ragged copy of I, the Jury against his leg.
I went back to staring out the glass of the entryway. The snow was gone, the wind had swept it down off the mountain except for about a foot of it on the grass. The snow was covering the cars and I counted, out of habit, twelve cars over from the street light.
My Nova was under the snow right there. I'd drained the fluids, covered the air intake and the blower, and put it on blocks so it could make it through the winter. Even removed the battery to make sure that the cold didn't rupture it.
I heard John walking up behind me and forced myself to relax.
"You all right, Tony?" He asked quietly.
I was Charge of Quarters, he was on Assistant Charge of Quarters.
"Yeah," I told him, letting the word draw out.
The sky was clear outside, the stars bright pinpricks that almost hurt even through the glass. I could tell how cold it was outside just by staring out at the night. I could tell by the clarity of the night that the air was thin.
"Be dead in minutes out there," John said softly. "Checked the closet, it's nearly twenty below out there, humidity is bottomed out, barometer is bottomed out, wind is up to thirty miles an hour."
I just nodded.
"You OK, man?" He asked me. "You been quiet and getting quieter. Starting to worry me, brother."
"Fine," I told him.
Above us a voice shouted in German and boots slammed to the floor right after.
"I hate that," John said softly. He sighed. "Who's on Duty Driver?"
"Carter's main, Jacobs is secondary," I told him.
"Letting 'em sleep in case something goes down?" He asked me. I just nodded. "Damn it, Ant, talk to me, brother."
I turned away from the double doors, looking at the CQ Area. Trophy case, little hallway to the vending machines, door to the Day Room in front of me; game room, stairwell door and Titty Territory doors on the left; bathrooms and CQ desk on my right.
"I've got a bad feeling," I told him straight out.
"What kind?" John asked, following me back behind the CQ Desk. I glanced at him and he shrugged.
"Lizard kind," I told him. I looked around. "Something off. Something bugging him. Can't figure it."
John nodded, putting his feet up on the lower counter. "I'm not going to doubt ya, brother," he told me. He pulled his book out of his thigh pocket and slapped it against his leg. "That lizard, he's all primal instincts and shit, right?"
I nodded.
"He's gonna notice things you aren't going to consciously notice, right?" He asked. I nodded and he slapped his book against his leg. "He pretty much runs your subconscious, your reflexes, right?" Again I nodded. "Dude, don't you ever worry you're hurting your brain like that? I mean, like you could go schitzo or something."
"You talk a lot," I grumbled.
That made him chuckle. "You been saying that since Basic Training, brother. Someone's gotta talk for the two of us, you don't talk, so that just leaves me," he shook his head. "Something's bugging him. Any idea what?"
I shook my head, staring at the dark glass of the entryway.
John sighed. "I love you, brother, but I wish you'd talk a little more when stuff was like this."
I looked at him. "You're leaving in January, John."
That made him sigh. "You gonna hold it against me, Ant?" He asked me.
"No. Sorry," I told him.
John shrugged. "Sokay," he told me. He dug out his pack of cigarettes, lit two, passed me one, then leaned back again. "Ya don't make friends easy, Ant. I get that, I do."
There was a crack somewhere down the hallway. We both looked. Nothing else changed.
"Gonna check the closet," he told me. I nodded while got up, opening the small closet where all the weather instrumentation was. He came back out a moment later. "Temp dropped again. A whole five degrees. Humidity is dropping like a rock, air pressure is down."
There was another crack.
"It's the cement," I told him.
"What?" John asked.
"It's the cement. They didn't get it cured all the way. Water's freezing. Cracking between the blocks, cracking in the mortar," I told him. I shrugged. "We've got reinforced concrete, cement core cinderblocks, radiation shielding, a blast compression airspace," I tapped the wall. "We've got the first winter up here in here, the barracks is going to be settling."
There was another crack and the radiator shuddered.
"You believe that shit?" John asked me.
I shrugged. "Guess so."
Boots slammed on the floor above us.
"And that?"
I shook my head. "Damned if I know."
That made him laugh.
The phones rang and we started logging the call-ins. All the sites, one right after another, each telling us everything was fine, that they were still in control of the sites.
"Want a soda?" John asked me, standing up and stretching after the last call.
"Orange Crush?" I asked.
"Of course, baby," he grinned at me. He headed into the vending machine alcove. I heard the quarters drop, then the soda. It repeated and he walked out with a soda in each hand. "Out of Crush, grabbed you a Mountain Dew."
"Blech," I made a face.
The doors to Titty Territory pushed open, revealing Swopes. She was grinning, a beer on one hand and a cigarette in the other. Wearing Levis, a black heavy metal shirt, and boots, her brown hair brushed out and teased.
"Look who it is," she laughed. "Tony Stillwater and his thug, John Bomber."
"Hey, Julia," I said, taking the soda from John and cracking it open. "What's up?"
"Figured I'd grab a couple cans of Coke, get drunk, pass out after a little me time," She laughed. "All my roomies are in Graf, figured I'd get me some alone time with myself. Know what I mean?" She wiggled two fingers at us and we both laughed at the implication.
She moved past us, heading into the alcove.
The temperature dropped suddenly, hard. I rubbed my arms, shivering, and saw my breath plume out in front of me. I looked at John, who was rubbing his arms too.
"Christ on a biscuit," Swopes said, coming out of the alcove with cans of soda piled in her shirt. I noticed her flat belly, and the fact she wasn't wearing a bra and that she was showing off a lot of underboob. "Getting cold in here," she laughed.
John nodded, glancing at the thermostat. "Dropped to twenty-five."
"You guys better turn up the radiators," Swopes told us.
"I'll start," John said, standing up.
"I'm gonna make sure the far end is still sealed," I told him, getting up and heading toward Titty Territory.
"I'll walk with you to my room," Swopes told me. She turned around and backed up against the door, pushing it open.
Three Little Snowmen (Damned of the 2/19th) Page 4