Natalie leaned on the counter and stared at him. He often found her looking. Sometimes he didn’t even need to see her eyes to know. The heat of her gaze was always warming his skin.
“Over the last six months, you’ve been telling me how miserable the place is. We’ve worked on your work and life balance.”
“You’ve worked on my balance, but I’m still killing myself every day.”
“Are you financially secure?”
“Yes, I’m set.”
“So why stay?”
He waited for her to answer. He knew what she’d say, but it wasn’t his job to fill in the blanks. The key to a good life coach was to help the client find the solution. He often set the pathway. Sometimes there were bright flashing lights that said This way! but ultimately, the person had to make the choice and own it.
“Because it’s who I am. Without my job, I’d be no one.”
That hit him like a slug to the heart. “You are not your job. Over the last few months, you’ve told me you have a husband named Clark and three beautiful kids; Sara, Todd, and Melanie, if I’m correct. You have a goldendoodle named Harry, and you belong to a book club that reads knitting cozies because you’ve always wanted to knit and don’t have the time to do it yourself.”
He glanced at Natalie, whose eyes had rounded to twice their size.
“I know, but this is the biggest thing about me.”
“Not true. How did you start our conversation?” He could wait for her, but it was already said, so he repeated her statement about the elephant and how tired she was of eating it. “That’s the biggest part of your life. How long do you want to eat that beast? And for what purpose? You don’t need the money or the stress. Remember the saying All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy? Let’s change it up. Stress is unhealthy. All work and no play makes Mary a dull woman, and possibly Clark a rich man when you kill yourself from overworking. Every hour has a value assigned to it. And only you know what that is. Make sure you know your return on investment. No one ever said I wish I would have worked more on their deathbed. At least I’ve never heard anyone.”
There was a pause.
During the silence, he watched Natalie. She couldn’t hear Mary’s end of the conversation, but it seemed like she was soaking in his words.
“Are you telling me to quit?”
Inside, he wanted to yell, “Yes.” However, the decision had to be hers. “I’m not telling you to do anything. What I’m saying is to listen to your inner voice. Let it guide you. It’s the GPS you need to trust.”
They discussed a few other issues before the call came to a close.
“Thanks, Jake, you are worth every penny I spend on you.”
“Talk to you soon, Mary. Let me know what you decide.”
“I will. If I quit, I can’t afford you.”
He chuckled. “I’ll be okay.” That wasn’t a lie. He was wealthy by most standards. Not Getty or Kennedy wealthy, but he wouldn’t ever starve. At three hundred dollars an hour, he did okay.
Once the call ended, he leaned back and closed his eyes. He made it a point to clear his head after each session because it served no one if he soaked up his clients’ emotions and passed them on.
“Do you think she will?”
He opened his eyes and found Natalie standing in front of him. Under her chin was a smudge of beige paint. She’d rotated her shift to work on the house that morning and come in that afternoon so he could make his calls.
“Will she what?” He reached up and wiped at the paint, but it had dried hours ago and would be there until she washed it off.
“Quit.”
“I was just trying to wipe off the paint,” he said in his defense.
“What?” She touched the underside of her chin. “No, I didn’t mean quit touching me.” She blushed a pretty pink. “I meant, will she quit her job?”
He gathered his things and stood. “I don’t know.”
“Should she?”
“Logically, yes, but life isn’t always based on logic.” He was about to ask her to dinner when the door opened and in walked Mercy. This time, she was in fitted jeans and a low-cut T-shirt. She was like two sides of a coin. On one side was the sweet schoolteacher, and on the other side was a vixen. She was attractive and intelligent, and she wasn’t his type. Apparently, he liked them sassy, and independent, and a challenge. Mercy would never be a challenge.
She completely ignored Natalie standing next to him. “I was heading to Silver Springs and thought I’d invite you to dinner. There’s a great chophouse on the outskirts of town. What do you say?”
He wasn’t a good liar. In fact, he made it a policy to not lead people on. They’d had tea, and he thought he’d clarified that he wasn’t interested, but some people never got it.
“Thanks, Mercy, but I’ve already got a date.” He turned toward Natalie and smiled. “We have to pick Will up from the Mosier’s Ranch. I promised him pizza.”
Finally, Mercy realized or acknowledged Natalie’s presence. “Oh, wow. I didn’t know.”
Natalie smiled like she did with everyone. It wasn’t real because it never reached her eyes. He swore, when it did, the gold flecks sprinkled throughout them sparkled.
“You know he’s leaving soon, right?” Natalie set her hand on his arm. “We’re mostly friends.”
“Yes, I just thought—” Mercy lifted a shoulder in a shrug. “Never mind.” She twisted around and headed for the door. “I’ll see you around.”
When the door closed, he gripped Natalie’s shoulders and turned her around to face him. “We’re more.”
Chapter Fifteen
She stood in the middle of Will’s room and smiled. “Take that, Fran Dougherty,” she said to herself. “You thought I’d fail, but I’m not a quitter.” She was bone tired. Splitting her days between the bookstore and the house was wearing on her. Add to that the dinners with Jake, the packing up of her meager belongings, and the endless chatter of Will, she was exhausted. The only thing that seemed to perk her up was Jake’s kisses, which were too quick and rarely enough.
The last few days had been busy, between his coaching clients, and her worry over losing her brother. Who would have thought a twelve-year-old kid could bring so much joy into her tiny house? She didn’t even mind that he smelled like a dumpster after his days with the Mosiers. Will came with everything from smart-ass comments to dirty socks that stood on their own in the corner, but with all that, he also brought humor and something new. A sense of belonging to something bigger than herself. He brought love. Or at least what she thought love would look like.
“I think it’s time to quit for coffee,” a deep voice said from the doorway.
She nearly dropped the paintbrush. “Don’t sneak up on me like that. I could hurt you.”
Jake chuckled. “Are you going to beat me to death with that brush?”
“I could, you know.” She turned the wooden handle over and ran her hand from the metal neck to the rounded end. “A little whittling and sanding, and I’d have a shank.”
He pushed off the doorway and offered her the cup in his hand. “How about you not shank me and drink this instead?” He turned around in a circle to take in the room. “A splash of cream and one sugar just the way you like it.”
She set the brush down and took the coffee he offered.
“I thought you only had beige paint.”
“Wes stopped by this morning and brought the blue paint.” She lifted her nose into the air and caught the smell of his cologne sitting above the scent of flat latex. When she inhaled again, she breathed in the dark roast coffee.
“Thank you. I don’t know why you continue to do nice things for me.”
“Because I like you.”
She sipped the strong brew, looking over the cup. It was a good thing he was leaving. Too much had happened over the last month that fractured her steely disposition.
“I used to like you, but now that you’re my boss, I’m not supposed to. It’s bad
to crush on your boss.”
“I’m not your boss, just the initial financier. You’re your own boss.”
He moved to the window and was about to lean on the wall when she reached over and pulled him away. “The paint is wet, and you might ruin that shirt.” The blue polo was her favorite. It hugged his body like a glove and was a shade lighter than his eyes.
“Are you worried about me, Keane? Concerned, I might ruin your favorite shirt?”
Her jaw dropped. “How did you …? I mean, what are you talking about? It’s just a shirt.”
“You keep lying to yourself. I see how you look at me when I wear this shirt. Why do you think I wear it so often?”
“Because you don’t have many clothes. I look at you because I feel sorry you have to wear it three days a week.”
He took her cup and set it on the ground before he pulled her into his arms. “I wear it often because it seems to do something for you, and I like affecting you.” He nuzzled into her neck.
“Yeah? I’m only affected because you smell bad.”
He nibbled at her skin. “Yep, so bad that you walk by me to inhale whenever I’m around.”
She tried to push him away, but he held her tighter. “Okay, I may like your cologne.”
“Admit it; you like me, I mean … really like me.” He ran his hands up her spine to the back of her head and threaded his fingers through her hair. “I know it in my heart.”
“You’re lucky to have one of those. Mine stopped beating years ago.” Right now, it was beating at twice its rate. The ka-thump of its rhythm always sped up around him.
One of his hands moved around to settle between her breasts. “It’s still there; I feel it, beating wildly. And it's telling me that you like me.”
As soon as his hand left her chest, she spun out of his arms. “I get the same reaction when I see a spider.”
“Okay, we’ll go with that for now.” He cocked his head to the side. “Where’s Will?”
“The guys at the fire station took him today. It was a godsend, really. Can you imagine him being underfoot while I tried to paint? He’s a pain in my rear already. I don’t need another reason to dislike the little monkey.”
Jake laughed. “How is that working for you?”
She bent over to pick up her cup and took a deep drink. “What are you talking about?”
“You might fool yourself into believing you don’t like your brother or that you’re just doing him a favor. You think you brought him here to save him, but that’s the biggest lie. You picked him up and brought him to Aspen Cove to save yourself.”
She dropped her cup. The bottom of the Styrofoam container cracked, letting its contents trickle onto the hardwood floor like blood from a pierced heart.
“Are you analyzing me?”
“No, I’m just being honest. Maybe it’s time you tried it. You pretend you picked him up because you didn’t want him to be in the system, and I think that’s partly true, but you also took him in because he’s the one person who can’t leave you. At least not for six years.”
She shook her head. A cross between a squeak and a growl came from her mouth. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Yep, you’re probably right. I’ve only been mentoring people for years.”
“Stop getting into my head.” She picked up the now empty cup and tossed a nearby towel on the spill. “You don’t know me. Kissing me doesn’t make you an expert.”
“You’re right. I didn’t come here to argue with you. I came here to help.”
“You’ve done enough.” Her hand went to her heart.
He shook his head but approached her to lay his hand over hers. “I can feel it beat through your hand. It’s okay to feel things, Natalie. Open your heart and let someone in.”
“The only thing I’m feeling right now is annoyed because I’m running out of time to get things done.” She stepped away and picked up the paint can and brush. “I’ll be to work early tomorrow to finish the inventory.”
“Finish the house first. The bookstore will be fine.”
“I’m not a slacker.” She walked into the kitchen to wash the brush.
“No one said you were, but that doesn’t mean you can’t put yourself first or prioritize.”
She squeezed the water from the brush and turned toward him. “A paycheck is a priority.”
“It's a guarantee. Now get back to work so you can come to work without a worry.” He turned and started for the door.
She followed him. “What? No kiss?”
“I don’t kiss people who don’t like me.”
She moved closer and rested her head on his chest. “But I like your kisses.”
“Don’t forget my blue shirt and my hugs.”
She felt bad that she’d given him a hard time when all he’d done was be kind to her. He’d offered her a full-time, flexible position that paid her more than the diner; more than she’d ever made in her life. No one person had ever done so much for her, so why couldn’t she let down her guard with him?
All the stress and changes made her prickly, and that wasn’t a good look on her.
“I’m sorry for being a bit—”
He pressed his finger to her lips. “I’ve met a few bitches in my day, and you’re not one. What you are is tired, stressed, and somehow still beautiful.”
She wrapped her arms around his waist. Why did hugging him make everything feel okay, if only for a second?
“I’d like to know more about you, Jake. Maybe we can have dinner?”
He leaned back to see her. “Are you asking me on a date?”
She hadn’t realized how the question sounded, but it sure resembled a request for a date. Would dating Jake be so bad? Was he right, did she have to let someone in? If so, why couldn’t it be him?
She shored her stance and lifted her chin. “I guess I am. Would you like to go on a date with me?”
He bent over and brushed his lips across hers. “You realize there’s a certain amount of commitment that comes when you date someone?”
She laughed. “There would be if you weren’t temporary, but that’s what makes this so great. We’ll have fun while you’re here.”
He opened his mouth to say something. By the look on his face, it was serious. Instead, he took a deep breath and said, “Okay, when do you want this date to be?”
“Did someone say date?” Louise peeked her head through the partially opened door.
“Yep, Natalie here asked me on a date. It would appear she likes my blue shirt and my kisses.”
She could feel the heat rise to her cheeks. “I’ll like you better when you’re gone.”
“You’ll miss me, and you know it.”
She’d never admit to it, but something told her he was right. Everything inside her screamed to not get involved with Jake, but she couldn’t help herself. He was the one good thing in all this mess that she would allow herself to have.
“Go away.” She gave him a playful shove.
“I’m going. Should I pick you up after I close the bookstore?”
Louise glanced between the two of them. “My goodness, you’re really a couple.”
“No, we’re …” Natalie shook her head hard enough to rattle her brain. She tried to find the right words to describe them. Friends didn’t seem enough, and since she didn’t do relationships, anything that sounded more serious wouldn’t fit.
“We’re a work in progress.” He leaned in and gave Natalie a quick peck on the lips. “And she likes my kisses.”
“Too cute. When you decide on that date night, bring Will for a sleepover. Brian is a few years younger but put out a bin of action figures, and all boys become ten.”
“Perfect, we have a kid sitter. Pick a date, Natalie. You can tell me what it is when I pick you up.”
He winked at her before pressing another kiss to her lips. He maneuvered around Louise, who stood in the doorway holding two brown paper sacks.
“Come in,” Natalie s
aid.
“I didn’t want to interrupt.” Louise looked around the house. “Yep, this is almost identical to the model we have. Only Bobby put an addition in the back once we passed our fifth kid.” She lifted the bags. “I brought some things I had in the closet. Curtains and stuff that you might use.” She set them on the floor near the wall. “I also wanted to say thank you for giving me your job at the diner. I know you didn’t want to leave, but I’m grateful you did.”
“Sometimes, you have to sacrifice what you love for what you need. Working at the bookstore will be better for Will and me, and the diner is perfect for you.”
“And you and Jake?” Louise lifted a brow. “Don’t tell my Bobby, but that man you’ve got is one giant piece of man-candy.”
“He is cute, but he’s not mine. He’s leaving, so he’s a fleeting distraction.”
“Mmm mm mm, he doesn’t look at you like it’s short-lived. He looks at you like you mean something. You can see it in his eyes.”
“I promise you it’s temporary. He’s leaving to partner up with some high-end retreat for the rich and famous.”
“We’ll see. Last time I saw that look in a man’s eyes was over a decade ago. Eight kids later, and Bobby still looks at me like I hung the moon. Hell, on most days, I’m too tired to hang the clothes.”
“How did you know Bobby was the one?” She didn’t believe in soul mates but liked the stories of how people met.
“There was never anyone else. I loved everything about him from the day I met him. We were high school sweethearts. He’s been my first everything. Have you ever been in love?”
Natalie thought back to her high school boyfriend. “I thought so, and then I let him be my first. Once that was over, he moved on to be a lot of girls’ firsts.”
Louise wasn’t all that much older than Natalie, but she pulled her in for a hug the way a mother would do if she loved her child. “I’m sorry you got a bad apple. It’s a good thing there are still good ones out there. Even the bruised ones aren’t always bad. Sometimes it takes a little polish and the right recipe. Often they can be sweeter than the day they fell from the tree.”
Natalie closed her eyes and thought about the day Doug took her innocence and her heart. She’d run into the house crying to her foster mother about Doug, and all Ellen said was, “I hope you used a condom.” There were no words of wisdom or comfort. The reality of the situation was locked down in her heart. Men used women to get what they wanted. Their words of love and forever were emotional currency to buy their way into her pants. That’s when she decided she could do the same. Love wasn’t something she wanted or needed, but occasionally she liked the feel of a man’s arms around her, his kisses on her lips, and his body naked next to hers.
One Hundred Decisions: An Aspen Cove Romance Page 12