by Rose O'Brien
“So this is about your sense of obligation,” she said, her voice a little hollow. “It’s about your honor.”
“It’s not just that,” he said, his gaze tangling with hers for a moment before he looked away again.
“I’m your burden,” she said, realization clear in her voice.
“No,” he said emphatically, his voice hard. “You are not that. Never that.”
“Then why are you doing this?”
He blew out a frustrated breath and rose to his feet, his steps agitated.
“We need you,” he said, running a frustrated hand through his hair. “You don’t know how much a seer could help us.”
“We need?”
The heat in his eyes as he met her gaze was like the blazing blue of a welder’s torch and his jaw was set hard, but he said nothing. Her heart almost stopped at that look. No one had ever looked at her like that.
But he looked away and that heat disappeared like it had never been.
A growl of frustration was crawling up her throat, and she drowned it with a mouthful of whisky. The heat of the alcohol was making her bold, and she miscalculated.
“Why did you push me away last night?”
Theron’s head whipped around and he looked momentarily confused at the sudden shift in conversation. Jen’s cheeks flared with heat. Stupid. She had jumped to the most important question too soon. Rookie mistake. Her anger was spilling out.
“What?” he asked.
Too late now, she supposed. Might as well forge ahead. She had nothing to lose. Her hands shook a little and she tried to still them against the chair cushion.
She shot up from the chair, agitated and trying to hide her face as she figured out how to move forward after that blunder.
Her back to him, she snapped, “Last night? You know, when you fucked me and pushed me away like I was a well-used whore?”
***
Shock exploded through Theron. What the hell?
“It was not like that,” he said through clenched teeth. He found himself stomping toward her turned back and stopped.
He’d been horrified by his lack of control. He’d put them both in danger by losing focus. He’d proven today why that was so dangerous. The blood magick could have landed them both in enemy hands.
In addition, he’d violated a key rule that every mage lived by. Banging sapiens was allowed. Falling in love with them was not. Under any circumstances.
He’d been trying to put the brakes on the feelings she was developing. There was no chance the brass was going to condone a relationship. He’d be out of her life in a matter of days, and that was best case scenario.
Are you trying to protect her? Or yourself?
He’d thought she’d been angry about leaving her unprotected and vulnerable to the blood magick, but she was pissed about him pulling away last night. It was the last thing he wanted to do, but it needed to happen.
He’d put her through so much. He’d proven today that he couldn’t protect her. There was something forming between them. She was feeling it, too. When they got to the Citadel, there was every chance they would be ripped apart and he wasn’t prepared to cause her more pain.
He needed to tell her the score. She deserved to know why he was trying to put distance between them, to squash his feelings. And hers.
But deep down, he knew the reason he hadn’t told her sooner. Anger he could handle. But if he told her what he’d kept from her, she might hate him. And that was something he didn’t think he could bear.
She turned, anger flaring in her dark eyes, and took several quick steps toward him. They were just a few feet apart now. He could almost reach out and touch her. That was dangerous, but he couldn’t seem to make himself move away.
“Why don’t you explain it to me, then?” she shouted. “And maybe you should use small words so I can understand, huh?”
Anger flared within him, like a bottle of gasoline had been thrown on his inner fire. He had never implied that she was dumb, he never would do that. He wasn’t sure when he moved, but he found himself within inches of her, staring down into her sparking dark eyes.
The words left his mouth before he could choke them back.
“Last night was the best thing that ever happened to me. You have no idea how hard it was to leave you there, all hot, wet, and naked.”
“So why did you?”
The words were just falling out of him now.
“I put us in danger. I lost focus. You saw today what that looks like. You got hurt and I could have stopped it.”
“You did stop it, Theron. We’re safe. You couldn’t have known what was going to happen. Unless seeing the future is one of the powers you didn’t mention?”
“It’s not just that. I lost control last night. You don’t understand how dangerous that is for someone like me. The fire is always with me Jen. If I lose control completely, I could hurt you,” he paused for a breath. “It’s happened before. I make mistakes and people die.”
She was silent, but she didn’t step back and her eyes didn’t leave his face.
“It’s forbidden, Jen,” he whispered. “I didn’t tell you, and for that I’m sorry, but mages are forbidden from being with sapiens.”
Her face fell and there was a sad and questioning look in her eyes.
“What do you mean?”
Her hand reached out and touched his chest. He was pretty sure she didn’t even know she was doing it.
He swallowed hard.
“Sex is allowed. But it can only happen once. Relationships aren’t allowed because sapiens can never know who or what we really are. They outnumber mages. If we were ever discovered the sapiens would kill us all out of fear.”
She nodded solemnly. She’d lived in a warzone for five years. She knew what sapiens did to each other for no other reason than they disagreed about the minor points of the same religion. What would they do to subspecies like mages and shifters and vampires that had been hiding among them, not to mention dimensional outsiders like the fey and the elves.
“I’m not a normal sapien. Does the rule still apply?”
“I don’t know. I’m just a soldier, Jen. We have no control after tomorrow. We’ll probably be separated. And even if the brass gives us a pass, my job is dangerous. You’ve seen that. I’ve practically got an expiration date stamped on my ass.”
He looked down and realized his hand was on her shoulder. When did that happen?
She met his eyes again and for just a second he got lost in those dark depths.
“You said last night was the best thing that happened to you,” she said.
“It was,” he said softly. Without thinking, he closed the distance between them, pressing into her. “Followed closely by the night before when I held you in my arms while you slept.”
The past two nights had shown him what connection was. He imagined it was like getting a couple of hits of the most amazing drug. It was instantly addictive. And it was disastrous. If they continued on this path, they were heading toward a place neither one of them would be able to walk away from without serious scars, the kind of scars that changed, the kind of scars that might kill you eventually.
She reached up and touched his cheek and he closed his eyes at the feel of her.
“Last night, I was feeling things. And I think you were, too. I panicked,” he said, his voice rough. “You’ve lost so much. I didn’t want to be one more thing you lost.”
Her voice was soft and right beside his ear when she said, “ We may not get tomorrow, but we can have tonight. No one ever has to know.”
At her words, need exploded within him. He turned his head and captured her mouth, pulling her hard against his body. Her mouth was hungry against his, her tongue brushing his bottom lip and tearing a groan from his throat.
He could let himself have this. He could let himself have her. Just for tonight. Tomorrow, they would figure out how to go on. It might kill him to give this up, but he’d worry about that tomorrow.
For now, he lost himself in Jen’s kiss, the feel of her breasts through the robe, pressing into his chest, her intoxicating dark scent as it wrapped around him.
If they only had this one night together, he was going to make it count. At least the digs were nicer than the ones they’d had last night. This was probably going to be their last night together, and he was going to make enough memories to last him for the rest of his likely short life. He was going to drink in every detail and savor every drop.
And he knew just how he wanted to start.
Chapter 13
Jen felt Theron’s powerful arms tighten around her, and suddenly her feet were off the floor. She wrapped her legs around his waist without breaking the kiss. The feel of his hard mouth against hers made her head spin.
The heat of him seeped into her, melted away any doubts she had. If they had this one night together, she was going to soak up as much of this heat as she could to keep her warm on the cold nights to come.
She was dimly aware that they were moving toward one of the bedrooms, but she didn’t care. Wherever this man wanted to take her, she’d go, willingly, enthusiastically even.
Suddenly, she was falling, and when her back hit the mattress, she bounced, and an uncharacteristic squeal left her throat. She laughed at herself as she flipped her hair out of her eyes. Theron stood at the foot of the bed watching her, his indigo eyes sharp and predatory. As he reached for the hem of her robe, she flashed him a small smile.
He froze, his eyes on hers.
“Oh gods, do that again,” he whispered.
“What?”
“That smile. It kills me. I love that smile,” he said, his big hand brushing the skin of her thigh, just above her knee. Little sparks of electricity danced up her nerves where he touched her.
“It didn’t make an appearance very often before you showed up,” she said, pushing up on her arms to put her mouth just a few scant inches from his.
It was his turn to smile, but there was no mirth in it. It was a knowing, sly smile full of dark promises.
Slowly, deliberately, he put those smiling lips to her throat. At the feel of that hot mouth on her skin, she moaned and let herself sink back on the mattress. She wanted to feel him on her again. Last night hadn’t been enough.
She pulled at his shoulders, but didn’t budge him an inch. In fact, he was moving in the opposite direction, down her body.
His big hands were hot on the skin of her breasts as he slipped them inside her robe. His thumbs caressed the sensitive skin just below her nipples. That, combined with the cool air slipping in through her open robe had her nipples tightening painfully. Her back arched and he caught the sensitive flesh between his teeth. She groaned at the wet suction of his mouth.
Her eyes fluttered closed and she ran her fingers through his hair, holding him against her. His groan of pleasure made her chest vibrate and she smiled again. If she kept this up, her face was going to hurt from smiling.
As his tongue flicked against her nipple, it sent little shocks right to her pussy, like the two were connected. It was unlike anything she’d ever experienced. Of course most of her lovers had spent all of five seconds on her breasts. There wasn’t much to the things, so they tended to be an afterthought for most guys, but Theron seemed content to spend all night with them.
But heat and tension were starting to build further south, and she wanted to feel him penetrate her.
She pulled on his shoulders, but again, he ignored her. Instead, he released her nipple and gave her a sizzling look from beneath his copper lashes. There was no smile this time.
His gaze didn’t leave hers as he undid the tie of the robe, which had loosened to the point of almost coming undone. He slowly parted the halves of the robe and left her completely bare. His eyes roamed over her exposed body and she felt her cheeks heat.
He hadn’t gotten a look at her last night, what if he didn’t like what he saw now? Insecurity like this was incredibly rare for her. In fact, she couldn’t remember the last time it happened.
Theron kissed her again, right below her sternum and started moving down her body slowly. She reveled in the feel of his lips on her, his tongue stroking her skin. When he scraped his teeth over the sensitive skin of her flank, she cried out and arched off the bed.
As he kissed her hip, she realized where he was headed with this.
“Wait, no, I haven’t…” the look he gave her was so intense the breath caught in her throat. Without breaking eye contact, he scraped his teeth lightly over her skin again, right at the top of her thigh.
Embarrassed, she said quietly, “I haven’t had a chance to trim in a while.”
Okay, it had been like two weeks. She hadn’t been expecting to take anyone to bed, and Baghdad wasn’t exactly covered in places offering bikini waxes. Still, when someone was going to be visiting, she liked her house to be neat.
His look was hard when he said, “You think I care about that?”
His fingers brushed over the short dark curls at the apex of her thighs. Those fingers stroked lower, just short of her clit, which was crying out for his attention.
“This is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen,” he said, his voice rough and his hot breath feathering over her inner thighs.
She looked down her body and saw truth in his eyes. His gaze was reverent. As he met her eyes again, he moved slowly, giving her every opportunity to stop him. She didn’t.
As he pressed his mouth against her, she moaned and arched, opening herself to him. All thoughts of embarrassment fled and there was only sensation, wet friction, heat, suction.
When his tongue found her clit, she nearly cried out. When he sucked the impossibly sensitive skin into his mouth, she did.
It wasn’t long before the tension coiled within her snapped and sent her spiraling into an incredibly intense orgasm. She was vaguely aware of cries exploding from her throat, some of which might have been his name, and she just prayed that the high security wing was well soundproofed.
His tongue continued to move against her, inside her as she came down, little aftershocks making her jerk in his grip. She looked down at him as he sat back and wiped his mouth and she almost came again from the hot look in his eyes. Damn, the man could speak volumes with a look.
As her senses began to return, she realized that he was still fully clothed. Her first instinct was to pull the robe around herself, but instead, she slipped her arms from the garment and left it on the mattress. He rose to his feet and her hands found the hem of his shirt, pulling the tan cotton over his head.
He didn’t resist her.
She kissed her way down his bare chest, running her fingertips over the ridges of his hard muscles, first his pecks, then his abs, then the ridges that dipped down into his waistband. When she reached this point, she dropped to her knees and started to undo the button of his pants.
At his groan, she looked up.
“Sweet, gods,” he whispered, his breath starting to come faster.
His reverent words brought another smile to her lips. She fumbled a bit with his fly in her excitement to free his erection. She could feel the shaft through the black fabric of his fatigue pants, the ridge of the head evident.
As she freed him, she gripped the shaft and ran her fingertips over his tight balls. A satisfied smile spread across her face at his groan. His eyes closed and his head fell back as she moved her hand up and down, slowly stroking him.
Desperate to taste him, she ran her tongue over the velvet flesh and circled the tip before she slid him into her mouth.
Her name was a low growl in his throat and she would have smiled if her mouth hadn’t been stretched around his cock. He tasted of salt and spice and his skin was feverishly hot against her tongue.
She took as much of him into her mouth as she could, but it wasn’t anywhere close to all of him. The rest of him, she stroked with her hand, working his flesh. She gently squeezed his balls, and his cock jerked in her mouth.
&nb
sp; When she looked up and met his gaze he cursed softly.
She sucked hard and then popped the head of his cock free from her lips, bouncing it against her tongue. When she sucked him into her mouth again, he spoke urgently, “Stop. Wait, I’m going to come.”
She wanted him to. She wanted to taste him. He tried to push at her shoulder, but she gave him a look that said he had better lay off. HIs eyes closed, and his head fell back again.
He was breathing like he’d sprinted a mile and it wasn’t long before he shouted, his cock kicking in her mouth. The hot taste of him filled her mouth and she drank it down, loving it. When she’d sucked every drop from him, and his shudders had let up, she released him and smiled.
With an impossible speed, he kicked off his boots, pushed his pants down his legs and he pulled her down onto the bed. She sprawled across his massive chest. His big hands maneuvered her hips until she straddled him. Bracing her hands against his shoulders, she pushed back, arching, one hand playing with her nipple as she watched him. The fingertips of her other hand lightly brushed her swollen mouth.
“Gods, you’re fucking killing me,” he said. “I’m already hard again.”
He wasn’t kidding. She could feel the rigid length of him against her thigh.
“Jen.” Her name was a growl, a plea, a prayer.
***
Theron’s head was spinning as Jen straddled him. She was completely naked, and all he could do was stare at her. Her long, black hair fell over her shoulders to cover the tops of her breasts. Her skin was gold in the dim light from the sitting room that spilled into the bedroom.
He circled her waist with his hands and his fingertips nearly touched. She made him feel huge and powerful. And the sight of her was making him come undone. When she’d dropped to her knees in front of him and taken his cock in her mouth, he’d thought he might lose his mind. When she’d silently insisted he come in her mouth, he thought he might die.
But this, having her above him, arching her back, touching herself, this was it right here.