by Way Woo
Though they were still exhausted, all of them sat ramrod straight as soon as they saw him coming, and everything stopped.
Even the ticking of the town clock began to sound like a doomsday timer for them.
As soon as he emerged from the town’s tradesman, Jake smiled, his burlap sack gone as he made a beeline for the town square, gesturing towards one of the beat-up adventurers to follow him to the inn.
“Good luck,” one of them whispered very softly, almost inaudibly, to the unlucky bastard.
“Let's meet again,” another added, their stress causing them to hear even their softest of sounds, “and stay alive.”
Although Jake had sworn them to silence until after the interrogation had finished, he paid no heed to them wishing each other good luck as one of them was being led away to be personally interrogated by that monster.
It also goes to show that they were scared straight into doing what Jake had said.
The man Jake gestured to slowly pulled himself up, clattering sounds coming from his greaves as the legs within them were shaking uncontrollably from the adventurer’s own fear. The combined exhaustion and fear made his legs feel like lead weights, and he took slow, tentative steps from the town square to the inn, taking care not to let out a sound lest the man hear him.
It took more than a few minutes for him to stand up and even more to take dread-filled steps towards the inn, and all the while, the expression on the adventurer’s face flashed from denial, to anger, to bargaining, to despair, and finally to acceptance.
The rest of the adventurers seated were fixated on their own as he marched to what was most likely his death, and their own.
Several minutes later, though…
“Thank you! Please, call me back anytime! Thank you very much!”
Their colleague emerged from the inn with a smile on his face and a spring in his step.
Everyone of his fellows had only one thing in mind.
What the hell just happened to him in there?
Episode 22
***
The powers that be that crafted the world called Nohas carefully planned and designed their way throughout its creation.
In essence, from a far enough perspective, you could call them world builders – designing a world made by adventurers, for adventurers.
For instance, what they called “tutorial areas” were most often vast plains and meadows, with a walled town located at the intersection of two rivers, where a hill also stood.
This town was one of many “beginner villages”, called Brino.
And within the walls of Brino, there were multiple undeveloped districts; the largest of which were used as a makeshift barracks for the adventurers lucky (or unlucky) enough to find themselves in this world.
Due to the width and breadth of what was now known as the “Barracks District”, many tents were erected and arranged in a manner reminiscent of how ancient Asian armies set themselves up.
Despite this, the powers that be also had the forethought to include the standard list of amenities in an adventurer’s town: blacksmiths for weapons and armor, alchemists for potions, collectors for monster loot… and finally, a place where those not native to Brino could spend the night: an inn.
It is in the largest room of the inn that we find a very surreal sight and ridiculous event going on.
***
“Yes, of course. It had to hurt, had to make it stick, you know?” Jake asked as he saw the man shedding manly tears devouring the offered food. “Must have been tough. Still got some slices here. Need more?”
“Thank you,” the man said in between bites, “First time in a long while I’ve eaten like this.”
A man was seated on the edge of the unbelievably fancy four-poster bed, flanked by various packages of food, while another was consuming a slice of plain cheese pizza like a thirsty man in the desert stumbling on an oasis.
And the man with the boxes was smiling widely.
The unreality of the situation only matched the danger of the world outside these walls, and Jake Smithson knew it.
“Feel free to grab another one,” Jake continued. “Man, is that plain cheese really that good you’re actually crying over it?”
He wordlessly handed over another slice to the man, who proceeded to tear into it just as fast as the previous one, so much so that he didn’t notice his head bob up and down in a nod, and Jake smiled at the development.
Yes, keep eating, Jake thought, the quickest way to a person’s heart is through his stomach. Jake smiled widely while watching the person eat, reminiscing about the days where he had several delinquents pledge their lives to him.
This situation was no different, and despite the hungry man looking older than Jake, the same reverence in his tone and actions was a dead ringer to the time when Jake was still young, wild and free.
I just need to ask him the right questions, and I’ll be all set.
The delinquents that followed Jake weren’t exactly pushovers themselves, but there was a method Jake did that earned him their loyalty.
Carrot and stick, punishment and reward, Jake thought. Give them a whipping on one hand and give them a reward on the other.
Show them what you do to your enemies and what you do to your friends and they’ll be eating out of your hands in no time at all, Jake continued musing as he picked out his inventory. And then, I’m going to find that S.O.B. who ruined my reputation.
Jake had spend some of his extra points on luxury food items in the Hero Shop, and they were in his inventory, waiting to be opened up and eaten.
Despite not being that useful as a healing item, it had an extra advantage Jake sought to use for all he was worth: it carried the taste of home.
When I think about it, Jake mused, they already paid half the price for this pizza in advance in the form of a beating. The other half is information. Time to get to asking, got a killer to catch.
While food was indeed tastier when shared, that wasn’t on Jake’s mind at the moment – underneath the guise of a gracious host lay the instincts of an interrogator.
And he was about to start plying his craft.
“So who makes the decisions for your team?” he asked, almost casually, and the man turned towards him, the second pizza slice already eaten.
***
If you discount his pathological addiction to buying things, Jake Smithson could easily call himself a realist.
It was why he leveraged his shopping prowess in this world rather easily.
And now, this way of thinking was helping him read the first of several adventurers he’d interrogate.
First of all, people had needs.
For the adventurers who had spent some time in Nohas, all they had to sustain themselves with were fruits, vegetables, and the odd potion when situations became dire.
As a result, if you give a man something as simple as a plain cheese pizza, he would enthusiastically say yes if you asked him to pick up his gear and go to the demon’s castle and bring back the demon’s head.
But that wasn’t what Jake was after at the moment: there were questions that needed answering.
“Oh no, we don’t do that sort of thing,” the man began after wiping off his mouth with the back of his hand. “Some time back, Seamus led from the front with his team, but with what happened to him, we all gather as a group and decide based on what we talk about.”
Jake’s eyes narrowed imperceptibly – this wasn’t the reason he gave this guy all that pizza, and this wasn’t the answer he was looking for.
“However,” the man continued, “ there are some adventurers who others instinctively follow.”
Finally, some headway.
“Really, now? Who might those be?” Jake asked, keeping his voice even.
“Well…” the man answered, taking a second to think, “you already know Liam, who is one of the best of the best in town, including you.”
“I know, he’s good. Saw it firsthand,” Jake replied. “What e
lse?”
“Well, if Liam’s not here resting, he’s out there hunting,” the man said as Jake nodded. “He also asked you for some help before, but it looked like he did it because many others were begging him to. From then on, he just kind of kept to himself.”
Interesting, Jake thought as he gained some new insight about Liam the magic sword-wielder. Unfortunately, it’s nothing I don’t already know. I tend to gather crowds when I fight. Liam’s magic is flashy, but the way he uses it shows his personality.
“Who are the other adventurers that are followed around?”
“Oh,” the man replied, “besides Liam, who is constantly training and hunting, there are several others. You already met Emmanuel; Charles leads the archers and rangers, and Kyle who is in charge of the mapping out this place while they hunt and train to be able to survive outside this town with minimal help.”
The man took a breath before continuing. “Novices aside, most of the adventurers here, tend to follow those guys.”
Jake’s smile widened just a little bit further.
“Do tell me more about them. How well do they get along with their fellow adventurers?”
“Well, they’re all good people,” the man answered. “The three of them are some of the strongest here – besides you and Liam, of course – but they’re humble and listen to other adventurers.”
“What about Seamus, did they get along with him?”
“To be honest… I don’t know,” the man admitted. “I’m not that strong so I don’t know what is going on between the higher-leveled adventurers. I’ve only become close with Emmanuel since I’ve started going on more hunting trips recently.”
Well crap, Jake thought. I tried so hard, got so far, but in the end, it didn’t even matter.
Yeah, I’ll probably give this guy another pizza if he can give me more important information, but for now, we’re done. There are still several people left to interrogate, and I’m just starting, so I don’t see this as an absolute disappointment.
“Okay,” Jake said, standing up. “Thanks for answering my questions. The door’s over there -- I'll call you back if I need to ask you something else later.”
The man stood up, turned to leave, but before he could completely turn his back on Jake, stopped and turned back to him slowly.
“Were those the last slices of your pizza? I am still very hungry…”
Jake stared at the man for a moment and then spoke up.
“Yeah, those were the last ones. My apologies,” and it was as if the gloom of extreme sorrow had entered the inn room and permeated the floorboards.
Jake’s face took on a gaunter shape, as if they were sharing crumbs and the man took one crumb too many, and as soon as the mood of the room changed, the man’s posture went ramrod straight instantly.
“No, I should be the one to apologize! It was the best meal I’ve ever had in this place! Thank you! I’m leaving now!”
“But if you need anything, please don’t hesitate to call me!” the man continued, talking even as he made his way out of the inn’s suite, down the stairs and out of the building.
“Will do,” Jake said softly towards the retreating man, a smile on his face as he saw the man leaving, all the while thinking about the items in his possession had that looked more like a supermarket inventory than a role-playing-game.
“Will do, indeed.”
***
“How? Why? This is inconceivable! How?”
The sound of two palms smacking one’s own head quickly following Kelderian’s exclamation echoed throughout the Hero Shop office.
“Please remain calm, sir! There has clearly been some sort of oversight, and the situation has somehow corrected itself!” a beleaguered man wearing a cheap suit – the only other Hero Shop employee here – said, in an attempt to calm down his boss Kelderian.
Is this some sort of excellent or disastrous fortune? Kelderian asked himself as he now faced what looks to be a very ridiculous situation. You’re already a Passionate Member? What in the name of all that is good and true and beautiful do you spend your time on aside from buying from this shop? Is the only thing you do in your waking hours shopping?!
If he had met Jake face-to-face and asked that question personally, the answer would be a simple nod of the head and “yes”.
Unfortunately – or is that fortunately – Kelderian didn’t know that, and despite being in the black with all of Jake’s purchases, there was some sense of foreboding surrounding this strange adventurer.
For someone working in sales, if you sell a lot of items, that is only a good thing. Who wouldn’t want to make money off sales?
Kelderian’s circumstances were different, though. He was in the throes of a full-blown panic attack as he saw item after item being purchased from the Hero Shop.
“What in the name of pennies, nickels and dimes is this guy doing? Buying all these items on the zero-interest installment plan?”
At this point, the Hero Shop was still in what is called a “soft opening”, meaning they weren’t distributing the full catalog of their products.
Not that it ever stopped a maniac like Jake.
Kelderian’s assistant seemed to have a bit of understanding about this whole mess, and after handing a brown paper bag for his boss to breath in and out of before maxing out the air conditioning, finally pitched his idea as soon as the panic attack passed.
“Boss, you know the quote about a thin line between genius and insanity? I think our buyer’s both.”
Kelderian looked at his assistant like he grew a second head before turning back to the logs.
“What are these things he’s buying? It doesn’t make sense. Lucky for us, though – most of what he’s buying isn’t upsetting the balance of Nohas or something,” Kelderian muttered as he looked through Jake’s purchase logs – which was easy, since he was the only client of the Hero Shop so far. “King-sized bed, two aerodynamic down pillows, branded comforter, personal sofa, annual subscription to Crazy Eights’ Pizza and Pasta Shop consisting of two pizzas of his choice in his inventory daily, annual subscription to General Tso’s Chicken Bowl, lifetime supply of cup noodles from Simsim, fall catalog of Down’s Shirts…”
Halfway through he was shaking his head.
“What’s this all about? He’s hunting monsters, right?”
“Yes, and due to his class, he only receives points for killing monsters, not EXP.”
“True, but this? This is… I haven’t seen anyone buy these items before… or know about their existence. It’s uncanny.”
“But check this out, sir. He also has purchased items like the chain-link armor, enchanted gold necklaces, and he also bought the ‘Quick Step’ skill. I think he’s preparing another solo hunt.”
“That’s understandable – but why these items?” Kelderian asked, unable to put his mind around the fact that the points Jake earned in bloodshed and battle were spent on such frivolities.
It would be hard to understand if you thought of the adventurers as working only to survive; but what Keldarian didn’t quite get was that some adventurers didn’t just want to survive this world, they wanted to thrive.
And they did that by bringing in comforts from home, like things for sleeping in and food to eat.
It made sense, true, but Keldarian still couldn’t quite grasp it. Why would you prioritize your point spending in that manner?
He gestured to the screen at a certain item in the sales logs. “It’s a pack of cosmetic face masks! We just put this useless stuff in the store to make it look like a shopping mall from these adventurers’ home planet!”
Yes, the Hero Shop included a pack of V-line cosmetic face masks… literally.
Did it have any unique function for adventurers because of its presence in the Hero Shop?
Not really.
It only helped exfoliate skin while one sleeps at night.
Keldarian’s question was, if it was useless, then why buy it? Why buy a cosmetic face mask pack in
a place where battle and bloodshed is reality, monsters walk the world and life and death can be measured in moments? Does this person still think this place is the world he came from?
“But sir, isn’t this a good thing for us?” Kelderian’s assistant asked, and his head whipped to the side to give him an odd glance.
“I mean, we were almost in hot water when he got that Passionate Member upgrade.”
“Indeed,” Kelderian replied, thinking back to the moment he saw Jake Smithson’s membership get the upgrade, and thought it was an unmitigated fiasco.
Something like this happening would end with sweeping managerial changes, his spotless track record of managing his branch notwithstanding.
The relief on his face when he saw their customer spend points on frivolities and quality of life items over skills and items that could potentially break the balance of the world was like he had dodged a bullet.
For now, the crisis was averted.
It was a very close call, but the potential Jake had was, frankly, terrifying.
After taking a well-deserved bathroom break and making his way back to his office, Kelderian collapsed onto the table, emotionally exhausted from the events of the past couple minutes.
“I can’t. I just can’t. I go this way, that guy goes another. I put one sale and he buys himself real estate in town for a house. I don’t get it. I don’t think I can ever get it,” Kelderian muttered to himself, lamenting the unpredictability of their first, and so far sole, customer.
“He’s buying trinkets and junk. Trinkets and junk. We’re all good for now. We’re all good,” Kelderian continued, putting away the thought that their customer was doing this to see how much stress he could take.
At the moment, things were looking up.
He’s basically locked out of the shop, he hit his monthly payment limit. We have time. The armor he has… may be a problem, but he doesn’t know how it works, shouldn’t matter much for now… Kelderian thought as Jake’s shopping spree literally bought him some time.