Dust: A Bloods Book

by Andra Leigh

  Did he think she was leaving? Again.

  Opening the door she jerked her head outside. “Well? Are you coming? It’s a good way to keep an eye on me.” And leave Drae to his much needed sleep, she thought.

  Chief seemed to understand her perfectly. He looked at the bedroom door again then trotted toward her, following her outside.

  If she ignored the house that now wrapped itself cosily around the oak she could see the clearing hadn’t changed much from her memories. Sure, the young trees were slightly taller, the lake’s boulders a little smoother. But other than that, it was the same. Same lake, same mossy grass, same sounds. She loved all of it.

  Lowering herself onto a boulder on the lake’s edge she looked up at the sky. The full moon stared down at her, offering more than enough light to see far into the night. With a pang she realised Neith and Casamir would be locked into their Wolf prison. And the rest of the Family were still sealing themselves in their underground haven.

  And here she was. Under the stars in the most beautiful place she knew.

  As she sat there she let her mind drift off, listening to the owls and other night birds singing with the wind whistling through the trees.

  Sometime later Chief’s ears pricked up from where he had snuggled against her and he barked once.

  Hurried footfalls followed the sound, causing Eliscity to look toward the house. The door was open and Drae was already half way to the lake. Relief and disbelief swarmed his face the moment he spotted her. Stopping just feet away he took a deep breath, never taking his eyes off her.

  “I was worried it had been a dream,” his husky voice shook.

  “I know that feeling,” she admitted quietly, thinking of all the times he had been a dream. All the times she had had to wake up.

  “Eliscity,” he said.

  She waited a moment for him to say more before realising he had just wanted to say her name.

  She laughed happily. She couldn’t help it. It was so refreshing.

  “Drae,” she answered. “I’m sorry it took me so long to come home.”

  Drae shook his head and sat down next to her. He touched her arm lightly as if to reassure himself she was real. “Never apologise for coming home. You were dead. You were…” he trailed off, as if he couldn’t bring himself to say the word again. “I have so many questions.”

  “I know,” Eliscity bit her lip with the nerves that flared up at telling him about her life. “Before you ask them… can I ask you just one question?”

  “Of course.”

  “Where am I? I mean what’s the name of the town I grew up in?”

  Drae frowned. “You don’t remember?”

  She just shook her head.

  “Eltarn.”

  “Eltarn…” she whispered. “Glycine Forrest right? Bloods, I really did just walk across The Horizon.”

  Drae’s head snapped around to her. “You what?”

  “Am I dead?” she asked suddenly. Could she be sure she had really made it out of The Horizon? The Horizon was merciless. Deadly. Perhaps her body still lay in its sands. Maybe this was what death was. A home. And happiness. If so, she didn’t mind it.

  Drae’s green eyes pierced hers, searching her face with intensity and captivation – as if he had been asking himself the same thing ever since she had shown up on his doorstep.

  “No,” he finally said with certainty. “But you were. Everyone thought… when you married that man –”

  Eliscity felt all the air rush out of her lungs at the mention of Harmon.

  “– I never really thought you’d be taken away from me for good. But then you died.”

  “How long have I been gone for?” she asked, realising she had far exceeded her one question.

  Drae looked sad. “Four years.”

  “Four years,” she echoed. It was the exact amount of her life that she remembered. An adult who’d only lived the days of a small child. It made her feel old.

  “But there was no body,” Drae said. “Just a story. A pile of ash and splinters. Where were you?” The question was soft and caring.

  “I…”

  “You have marks.” His hand touched her back lightly and she knew he was talking about the dark slits running down her back. “And these.” He flipped one of her hands over, his thumb pressing to the broken teardrop inked onto it.

  “I don’t know how to tell you what’s happened.”

  Drae gave her a reassuring smile. “Just start talking.”

  Just start talking, she thought. She could do that. Don’t think, just speak.

  So she told him everything. The real purpose for the marriage of convenience. The Clinic. Juliette. The Bloodings and the Bornings. Her lineage. Her memory loss and the hallucinations that she didn’t know had been Drae. Escaping the Clinic only to have to leave Juliette in the Cityel. Finding Jinx at the med-building in Wrethic. Being taken to Vance Manor and meeting the Family. She told him about each member of the Family, laughing at most of the stories she told. She even mentioned Acanthea. Then she told him about her regressions. About finding her memories and following them home.

  The only thing she didn’t tell him about was Harmon. She couldn’t bring herself to say the words aloud, terrified of what Drae would think. She had killed someone. It didn’t matter that Harmon had been a man without a shred of goodness. She had still killed him.

  Instead she simply said she had been hurt while trying to find her way home. The lie made her stomach knot.

  The sun was rising as she reached the end of her story.

  “I got here by accident,” she said finally, looking around the clearing. “I was hurt. I wasn’t thinking straight. I was just walking. Then I was here and it just made sense.”

  She glanced over at Drae.

  He hadn’t said a single word all the long while she had spoken. Every time she had struggled to continue or fallen into a silence, he had given her a reassuring smile or squeezed her hand and she had carried on.

  Now, with nothing more to say she fell quiet. And waited.

  Drae shifted beside her. “It is…” he contemplated his next words. “…a lot to hear in one sitting. A lot to learn about Rylock. About who you are now.”

  “If it’s too much…” Eliscity’s sentence fell short. What would she do if it was too much for him to handle?

  “How about we continue to call it ‘a lot’ rather than ‘too much’?” Drae said.

  “I’m not the same girl you knew. I don’t even know who that girl was, Drae. I don’t remember.”

  “I know. But I remember. And I think you believe you’ve changed more than you actually have.”

  Eliscity blinked her wide eyes at him.

  “You’re still you, ‘City, no matter how much you change.”

  “I still can’t cook,” she chuckled lightly as Drae smiled. She felt so comfortable sitting next to him, staring across to the other side of the small lake with Chief’s head rested on her lap. They were talking of serious things yet they were laughing and smiling. It gave her the strangest urge to cry.

  “What do we do now?”

  “Well,” Drae sighed. “I let you walk away once before. You married a man who told us you were dead. And now here we are. So I’m not going to be silly enough to let you ever walk away again, even if it is ‘a lot’. As for you, I think you should possibly focus on healing. In case you didn’t notice you have a couple of broken ribs.”

  Her hand automatically went to her side and the straps that held her tightly.

  “Thank you for taking care of me.”

  “Thank you for coming home.”

  Home. Eliscity let the word sink in. She was home. The cosy house cuddling the oak drew her gaze.

  “You built a home.”

  Drae followed her gaze. “It started a few months after you had…gone. A few trees had fallen and I ended up looking at them with this notion that they were going to become a house. It took almost two years to build, coming out here whenever I got a ch
ance. Some weeks I wouldn’t get to do anything on it, there would be too much to do on the farms. But I got there in the end. Mam thinks I’m mad living out here all alone, but I could never leave this place. I think your Da is the only one that doesn’t question it.”

  “Papa,” Eliscity muttered. For the first time since she had stumbled into the clearing days ago she realised her family were near. “Are they alright? They’re safe? Please, Drae.” Her nails were digging into his arm.

  “They’re okay,” he gently pried her nails off him and held onto her hand. “Okay as they can be after losing you. They’re still on the farm. The coin from the marriage of convenience saw to that.” The bitterness in Drae’s voice was clear. “Even so, Saule hasn’t forgiven himself for allowing it to happen. I told him about us a few weeks after you… He didn’t know whether to clip me around the ear for not making you stay or cry on my shoulder. I should have made you stay.”

  Eliscity shook her head. “The Clinic wanted me. If I had stayed they would have found another way to get me. Maybe taken my family too. They might still come for Delora and Celosia.”

  A panicked understanding glimmered in Drae’s eyes. “They would have lineages too.”

  She nodded.

  “But if they know about them and the lineage is so rare, why haven’t they been taken yet?”

  “I don’t know. They don’t want to disappear a whole family and raise suspicion? Or maybe they’re counting on them continuing on the lineage with their own children. I’ve heard of another lineage family that only has one person taken from each generation. Or maybe they’re too young for them. How old are they now?”

  “Eleven and fifteen. Is that too young still?”

  “I don’t know,” she said honestly. “You should warn them.”

  Drae’s eyes pierced hers. “But not you?”

  “I can’t tell them I’m alive, Drae. Not while the Clinic is in control. I would be putting them in even more danger than they’re already in. The Reigner finds out they know about the Clinic and he won’t hesitate to disappear an entire family. They’re safer thinking I’m dead.” Studying the variety of emotions flickering over Drae’s face she asked, “Do you think I should tell them?”

  The flickering emotions paused on a sad frown. “I don’t think your Da ever told your Mam about us. Didn’t want to break her heart any further. She’s like glass now. We all keep expecting her to shatter. So, I think you should only tell them if there is no chance that you’re being taken away from them again.”

  She wanted to throw her arms around him and hug him tightly. The only thing stopping her was her ribs. While she could only reason with what she thought was the best for their safety, Drae could offer what was best for her family. He loved them. She could hear it in his voice. He wouldn’t put them through any pain he thought he could spare them from.

  “That’s why your Da doesn’t question my living here,” Drae said softly. “He knows I’m holding onto you. I was never given any proof you were gone. And I knew if you weren’t really dead, you would find your way back here.”

  Eliscity pulled her gaze from his green eyes, staring at the lonely lake. The empty house. Only the loud bird songs and an intelligent dog for company.

  “What if I had been dead, Drae?” her voice was quiet. “Tell me this wouldn’t have been your life.”

  “You’re not dead,” he said strongly.

  “If I had been…”

  “‘City, this is the only kind of life I can have without you.”

  She shook her head, desperate for him to understand. “You deserve to be happy.”

  “Right now, this moment,” he tugged lightly on a strand of her hair, a smile in his eyes. “I’m happy.”

  ●

  Questions and answers.

  That was how Drae and Eliscity spent the next few days. They learnt all about each other and in some cases Eliscity learnt about herself. It became a game where they would take turns to think of a query. From the silliest things like weather preferences and favourite words to the missing parts of her life and their futures.

  She learnt she had received a small scar on her back when she had fallen off the feed-house roof one winter. She’d had a horse called Kitten and a turtle called Spider. After them her Ma had banned her from naming any further pets.

  She discovered Drae didn’t like the taste of oranges. He loved storms as much as Chief hated them. He and his Ma had moved out of Tequail after his father died in a river bank collapse – Drae had been sixteen, Eliscity fifteen and certain love couldn’t be real. She learnt Drae had built up a rather good standing as a draughtsman in Eltarn and that he had found Chief while walking back from school one day. The tiny puppy had been huddled into his dead mother’s side with his brother and sister, all three puppies weak and hungry. Drae had brought them home and nursed them back to health. He hadn’t intended on keeping any, but Chief succeeded in worming his way into the hearts of their small family. Then Eliscity had started calling him Mischief and the small dog started accepting it as his name. Drae had shortened it to Chief and once named, there was no way they could have given him away.

  As overwhelming and strange as the game proved to be Eliscity found she was also having fun. She had laughed so often in the last few days that she had grown used to the sound of it. Every now and then Drae would struggle to answer a question about her past, finding it a strange feeling to tell her how she had supposedly felt or acted. But she liked it.

  “I think I’m going to have to head into Eltarn sometime soon,” Drae said, looking up from the small wild goat he was skinning.

  The animal had been caught in one of Drae’s larger snares early that morning. Together with the vegetable garden planted alongside the house, the snares provided more than enough food to live without needing to journey into town for stores. But that didn’t mean Drae spent all his days isolated. He still had to travel in for any work he was wanted for, to get any supplies the forest didn’t offer and to check on his Ma.

  Tying off the catch to the snare Drae was teaching her to repair after it had been shredded by the goat, she nodded solemnly.

  “What are you thinking?”

  Eliscity sighed. “I’m thinking I want to come with you, but I know it’s not a good idea.”

  Drae gave her a sad smile. “I’m sorry.”

  She shrugged. “I imagine even if my family wasn’t there, dead girl walking through her home town…”

  “Still an awful lot of people to recognise you, yes,” Drae agreed. “I won’t be gone long. Not even a full day. I wouldn’t go if I didn’t need to but we’re getting low on medicine and you’ve still got a lot of healing to do. Plus, if I’m absent for too long Mam has a habit of coming to check on me. Despite her aversion to trekking through the forest. So I should call in on her before she calls in on you. I can get you some clothes too,” he grinned at her current apparel. She was wearing another of his shirts coupled with a cut-off pair of his breeches. She was swimming in the clothes. She had lost her satchel somewhere between leaving Harmon and finding Drae, meaning the only pair of clothes she had were the clothes covered in her and Harmon’s blood and then dragged through The Horizon. Given that no amount of scrubbing or creative swear words had succeeded in making them appear clean, she had opted for Drae’s clothes instead.

  Eliscity scrunched up her nose. “No dresses.”

  Drae laughed as he finished skinning the goat. “You used to wear nothing else. I still wonder how girls can breathe in them.”

  “Well it’s the skirts I find less than useful when trying to make a quick getaway. Or walk quietly,” she said as she climbed to her feet and held up the repaired snare for inspection.

  Drae nodded his approval as he dunked his hands in the lake. “Good job. I can show you how to set it before I head out.”

  Leaving the goat’s carcass hitched up to an overhanging branch they walked toward the house side by side.

  “Will you check on my family? I mean,
can you check on them?”

  “I always do when I head in,” Drae assured, slinging the skinned fleece onto the porch. “Delora threatens to kick me in the shins when I don’t And while she doesn’t have the nature to follow through with the threat, the disappointing look that girl is capable of is not something I ever want to be on the receiving end of.”

  “I’m glad you’ve been there for my sisters,” her voice cracked. “Should be me.”

  Drae held the door open for her. He tucked a strand of loose hair behind her ear as she passed. “We’ll find a way to make it safe for you to be with them again. Promise.”

  Eliscity looked away from him. She wasn’t ready to get her hopes up yet. Instead she examined the shelf over Chief’s bed. It was cluttered with beautiful wooden carvings. The ones from the bedroom of her memories were there. The oak, the family of birds, the star. They sat amongst renderings of flowers, animals and buildings.

  “Hey.” She plunked one of the carvings out of the pile. “This is the bunny Chief gave me.”

  Drae always got the same goofy grin whenever she remembered something from her past with him. “Yeah, the day we took your sisters swimming in the Delta.”

  “Oh.” She ran her thumb over the purposeful groove cut into one of its ears. “I don’t remember that time. That must have been the first time I had talked about. No, I remember the second time. The time when,” she smiled at the memory, “I think I had just snuck out of the house to see you. Right on the edge of the forest. It was my very first regression. In a way it’s my first memory of you. If you don’t count all the hallucinations.”

  Drae’s eyes fell. “It’s my last memory of you. Or at least the last I let myself think about. Your wedding was the next day.”

  “Oh.”

  She had loved that memory. It was her first memory of Drae. Of her past. It had also been proof that she wasn’t mad. That her hallucinations had come from somewhere real.

  Now it was tainted.

  She remembered the churning in her stomach as she had woken by the fireplace. Her rush to get out of the house and make it to Drae. Running barefoot through the chilly fields after forgetting shoes.